Those miserable… Orn’s internal tirade was cut short by the sounds of Olrich’s prayer winding down. Soon they would know that he was condemned by the goddesses. If he did not accept the path, he would be pathless and a heretic. But if he accepted it as this path, it would tie itself to his soul, and he would become truly broken. Just like they wanted.
Orn’s thought became frantic. What if I don’t choose? Can I just make something up? No, the priest is supposed to be able to feel when the path is chosen. Olrich is a half-baked priest but still a priest.
“…Thanks to the Goddess of the Loom for bringing us here.” Orn could hear Olrich nearing the end of the prayer.
“Thanks to the Goddess of the Loom.” The crowd echoed back.
This is not a choice! It is just picking how I want to die. Either refuse and be a heretic or accept and accept become dead in all but name. In his growing panic he could feel the strange thoughts welling up.
Orn forced them back down to hear Olrich closing the prayer, “…Thanks to the Goddess of the Plan…”
Orn had seconds left, so he grasped at the only lifeline he had. For the first time since that night weeks ago, Orn closed his eyes and prayed. Kao….
Olrich’s words cut off and the room went silent. Did he just say that out loud? His parent’s might be able to privately forgive him, but everyone else… He would be lucky if he was just exiled. He tried to glance back but his body would not move. The air itself felt heavy and restricted his movement.
The ominous silence was then broken by the sound of someone trying to stifle a laugh. With the laugh, the force holding him suddenly receded. Orn slowly opened his eyes. The glowing path was gone. He glanced quickly behind him. No one was moving. The rest of the room seemed frozen in amber.
The voice gave up trying to hold back and a childish giggle echoed ominously in the small space.
Orn forced himself to turn back to the shrine. A young girl sat on the loom looking down at her shoes. She slowly swung her legs back and forth over edge, causing the end of her frilly black dress to rustle silently. One hand casually tucked her black hair behind her ear, to reveal her face. The figure could have just as easily been carved from marble. Her face was pale white and even the slight color in her lips seemed somehow faded. Then she opened her eyes and stared at Orn, smiling widely.
Orn was frozen. He had used the name of the goddess of chaos, and now she was here. His eyes met hers for a split second before he looked away. Instead of irises or pupils, pitch black circles rested in the whites of her eyes. Worse yet, Orn felt they were deep. What he saw made him shudder as he stared at the floor.
The girl turned from Orn and slowly stood up. Then she straightened her frilly black dress with a few pats. “Better,” she said, apparently happy with her appearance, before turning back to Orn.
Orn was again wishing he had a better plan, when a pair of silver buckled shoes entered his view. She cleared her throat, and, despite himself, he looked up. Her face close to his own, and he stared straight into the pits at the center of her eyes. He could not look away. He was pulled in. As he stared into her eyes, he suddenly knew that there was no bottom to that darkness, but in the far distance he noticed there was something in it. Orn stared into the abyss, and the abyss giggled.
Her laughter broke him free from her stare, “Stop making that face, you keep making me laugh and we are getting nowhere.”
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Orn willed his eyes away from her stare and to the frilly trim around her neck, “Kao, the Goddess of Chaos.”
“Correct!” She yelled embracing him. He could feel power in the arms tightening around him and felt fear well up at the possibility of being crushed again.
But she stopped at just resting her arms around him, holding him in place. Then whispering in his ear added, “And now that you have called on the Goddess of Chaos, let us have a little chat.”
She let go of him, before immediately beginning to skip and twirl about the room, giggling all the while.
He tried to make sense of what was happening, but her behavior threw him off balance. Worse his mind was racing, causing memories to rush up faster than before.
He struggled against the sudden tide of memories. Closing his eyes he placed his hands on the sides of his head and tried to force the memories back down. Feeling he had control over his mind again, he opened his eyes to see the goddess standing in front of him.
She tapped her finger to her pursed lips, her childish face scrunched up in thought. “Where to start. Where to start…”
“Oh, I know!” she yelled, causing Orn to jump.
“What are you?” Orn tried to ask, only for her to draw back her right hand, her middle finger held behind her thumb.
In answer her hand sped forward and she flicked him on his forehead.
“Owww,” Orn rubbed the stinging spot as she danced away.
“Easier to think now?” She asked as she bent to his level looking at him between the hair that was now half covering her face.
Orn’s mind was blank. What does she…Wait she is right! He could no longer feel the other memories pushing at the edges of his mind.
“Now we can talk,” the goddess said, standing and turning her back to him.
While she walked away, Orn enjoyed the relief from the constant intrusions. It was as if a weight was lifted from his mind. All the memories seemed to find a way to fit together. The other memories faded into the background. They were still there, just in the background, just out of reach. But for Orn, the part that mattered was that they were not constantly on the brink of overwhelming him.
He did not have much time to enjoy it as the goddess called his attention back to her.
“Our time is limited. I do not like it, but there are rules,” she said, throwing herself on to the loom and lounging on it as if it were a throne. “One says I cannot mess with my sister’s toys.” Then pointing at him added, “And you have been very clearly marked.”
The words took a moment to sink in. “Then my memories?”
“A temporarily fix.” She waved a hand dismissively then smiled down at him. “So, we can talk. You did call out to me after all. What do you want?” She did not wait for his response. Instead turning casually to look at her nails, no longer paying attention to Orn.
“I want to protect my family,” Orn replied immediately. Then after a moment’s hesitation added “I want a path that will let me do that. “
She continued to stare at her nails turning her hand to see them at different angles of light. The silence stretched on, until Orn could not take it anymore. In a half mumble he broke the silence, “Is there something you want?”
This was apparently the right thing to say as she jumped up beaming at him.
“Chaos! I want to tie their tapestry in knots. It is too neat! It is boring!” She smiled at him, and he felt a chill run up his spine.
Seeing him cringe at her response she continued, walking towards him. “I want destruction, and mayhem, and blood. “With each word the room became darker and harder for Orn to breath. He fell backwards, his eyes wide.
The room instantly became brighter, and the goddess folded over holding her sides as she laughed.
Orn righted himself and slowly stood never taking his eyes off the goddess in front of him. He did not know what she would do next, but he instinctively wanted to at least face it on his feet.
She pointed at him and laughed harder, “Your face... too easy….”
Orn felt the fear disappear, replaced by indignation. He was not in danger, he was the butt of a joke. “I do not see this as funny.”
She straightened whipping the tears from the corners of her eyes. Smiling back at him she replied, “Well I do not like being called a goddess of chaos.” Shrugging she continued, “Fair is fair, you called me names first.”