After basking in the light for a while, I decided to go for it. I head towards the light above me riding my long dragon. 

To be honest, I never gave my dragon a name, but because of its irregular long ass length, I just simply refer to it as my long dragon.

Anyways, once I flew out I was in a barren land. And suddenly I heard rumbling noise that nearly split my dear heart in two. Can't believe there's a sound so loud in this world. Jesus Christ.

But once the noise settled down, I noticed a black shadow  was looming over me. So I looked up and BAM!!

I see this huge ass snake-like creature. But what was more shocking than its body size (which was not longer than my long dragon, but definitely fatter) was its mouse. It had one helluva mouth, I tell you. You should've seen it's round ass mouth the size of...deez nuts! Ha! Got 'em! 

Ok, no.  I don't even know what that means or why I even blurted it out. Just who was I ...

Anyways, back on hand, like I was saying this biggy snake got a helluva round ass mouth the size of a full moon up close. But guess what's even more shocking?

This big ass monster is opening that big ass mouth and heading straight down towards me with some fast ass motion. Did I say "ass" too much? Oh, I apologize. But it's just that this big ass situation calls for such lack of language. Or wait, how I do even know these vocabulary? Who am I? What am I even he-- 

*CHOMP!!*

Oh, I'm in his mouth now. 

Then, I suddenly felt something icky. It was long, strong, wet, and I don't know...flexible?? I could feel it sliding all across my body. And it wasn't before long that I realize that it's this bastard's tongue. 

Nasty ass bastard tryna feel me up even in this situation. What kind of a monster you gotta be to harass your prey before eating it? 

Oh wait, every kind of monster. 

But the feeling was nonetheless grimy and disgusting. As the monster's long slimy tongue slid over me, I could somehow sense it gliding down towards my long dragon as it wrap itself around him. It's wetness dripping from my clothes down to my long dragon, as the tongue flickered and stroked my long dragon. My partner gave out a whimper. 

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Then, I heard a voice next to me. I turned around in the darkness to see what's up and BAM! 

Light flares right in front my mother frickin' eyes out of no where and I was temporarily blinded.  Who ever did that better get his or her ass ready to pay my medical bills. Once I get outta here I'm even gonna call my lawyer! Gosh, where the hell is the police when you actually need them? I could probably order a pizza and has it get here faster than waiting for the police to come help me  and ---ugh?! Wh..at? What the hell am I even saying...pizza? Police? What are those even...ughh my head...

But I didn't have time to dwindle. Once my eyesight recovered, I was just about done with this bullshit. In front of me, although not as big as the snake monster outside, was comparably another big ass snake-like monster in front of me. For the love of my life, why am I even meeting these long ass monsters for??

But here's the strange thing. The thing in front of me spoke. With a fluent and comprehensible tongue, it spoke with accuracy and definite volume. It was the most beautiful voice I've heard yet and all the pronunciation in the human language was perfect. Then it stopped speaking as it waited for me to say something. But, hit me in the ass, if you were put into the same situation as I am, you wouldn't be able to say much either.

So, as if to reaffirm my disbelief, it spoke again:

"Cómo estás? mi amigo."

"...."