I started at the sound of thunder, loud and distant. Rain was pouring onto me, and an involuntary shudder went through my body. I felt chilled to my core as feeling and motion returned to my limbs.

I’m alive. Holy frigg, I made it. Huzzah! Four cheers for me, accomplisher of things!

Immediately, I was filled with pain from a great many places. I gingerly put my good hand to my face and winced.

Owowow! That’s definitely broken, again. Ok, less cheering, more standing up.

The feeling of clammy corpse skin sticking to my face was one I was welcome to shrug off as I motioned to stand up. Not that I’d ever forget it.

No. None of that. Bad thoughts. I did it! I made it out alive, I…

I stood up and looked down at the ground before me. Two corpses were shining brightly right where I’d lain motionless for what must have been hours, minutes even. Instantly, my unexpected good mood was ruined, and I felt guilt weigh down my limbs.

…and two more people are dead now because of it. One person, technically. The nearly nude body belongs to a demon after all. Stupid, stupid demon. Evil. Cruel. Evil.

I sighed and shut my eyes tight.

It’s ok. It’s fine. They’re just faking it, knocked unconscious. They’re still glowing, they’ll get back up, any minute now…

Oh, who the hell am I kidding. This is Hell! They’re both dead! Open your eyes to the truth godsdammit.

I did and the corpses were still there, looking more real than ever. Both the nice old lady, larger than any person had any right to be, and the still relatively tall demon woman. They were both dead because of me, in one way or another, lying motionless under the still present bright light.

This is… It’s… I don’t know. I don’t know what this is.

Should I be happy I managed to somehow strangle this wicked woman to death?

Should I be sad that the old lady died because I led the demon to her doorstep?

Should I feel glad that I got the keys, should I even feel guilty that it took me so long to get here that Will the warden was murdered mere minutes before I did?

Should I be happy that I ate their souls – all of them – and feel better for it?

That last bit was undeniable at least. I was feeling a lot better, now that I could see clearly. It was because I ate their souls, both of them, and I did feel that it was good for me on some base level. But it also made me all the more certain that I was in fact just like the woman lying dead in front of me: a demon, a soul eating, people slaying monster.

I sighed.

In the end I got what I came here for, and I can now save both the wolf and Pim. That’s a good thing. But didn’t I do more damage in the process of getting here? If I count life against life, I’ve snuffed out twice as many as I’m about to go and save.

Did I even do the right thing?

I… I don’t know. And that’s what scares me. That I may be doing something wrong without even knowing it. That I’m doing the right thing and it feels terrible. That I’m doing something wrong and feel… happy.

At least I glow, brighter now.

I kicked a pebble, watching it fly through the air out of my sphere of bright light, maybe four feet.

For the first time in so, so long, the first time since I’ve come here, I can see the world clearly before me and it feels great. I feel great. I can see the edges of their limbs, not inhuman or scary at all. I can see their skin, and mine, both wrinkled, bruised and discolored. I can see their faces, no longer vague hints of shadow, no longer guessing at their expressions. I can see the color of the ground, of stone, of wood and clothes and the eyes that won’t stop staring at me.

It all looks so real, and I don’t know what to make of it. I… I guess I really have to face it now, once and for all. This is real. This isn’t a dream. It might not even be hell. But I’m still here. All alone. Unarmed. Scared and drenched. Drained. Punished.

I looked up at the sky. No clouds. Just an endless deluge of rain and cold.

I guess I’m still not done yet. I’ve still gotta head all the way back to the wolf and then back to the temple from there. No, wait, we have to pick up Pim on the way there. We’ll have to go back through the swamp and not get eaten by the fish or spiders or… ugh. One thing at a time, please. Before I can head off, I have to check something.

I turned around and headed back to the broken ruin of a hut.

“George? George?”

A weak squeak caught my attention.

“George!”

I followed it, reaching a pile of wooden dishes and old knives. I pushed it all to the side and out from under it came a battered but whole emotional support rat.

Georgy! My boy!

He was limping, something evidently wrong with one of his back feet. I felt guilty. He’d defended me after all, but even after all that, he still didn’t seem to want to run away from me. He was as friendly as ever, regardless of all my sins.

“Don’t worry. I’ll carry you.”

Gingerly, I picked him up and put him on my shoulder. He started slipping off quickly, probably because it was slippery from all the rain and because one of his legs was out of commission.

“I’ll hold you.”

He fit snugly into my left hand and while that meant I couldn’t carry anything else in it, I was unlikely to get into any fights I could win one way or another. I couldn’t even find my sword, or my buckler.

I picked up one of the kitchen knives lying around and attached it to my belt. I then started on my journey back, but before I took two steps I did a double take.

With considerable delay, I finally notice the change in my voice.

“I don’t sound like I’m dying.”

It sounded pained, but real. It sounded like me. A deep sitting joy bubbled from somewhere within me and it felt good.

“I can talk. I can talk! Full sentences, full words, I can–cough–talk!”

I made a joyful leap into the air and immediately crumpled into a pile as I hit the ground and my legs gave way.

“AAAH! FUCK, SHIT, DAMMIT, POO ON A STICK, GAH!”

Ok. Ow. Pain. Let’s not do that again. You okay, Georgy?

Squek.

Good. Let’s try that again. With a bit less gusto than before. Still, I can talk! I can finally talk out loud to myself. And other people as well. Bring out the wine!

I stood up, reveling in the pure joy that was talking and for a while, forgetting everything else. I had really, really missed that and I hadn’t realized how much until now. Talking was addicting.

“Fiddlesticks. Gibblebricks. Smigglesmorf. Garblegorf. Flabbergast. Finagle. Flumblebumble. Fudd! Frogs are terrible! Toads are frogs! Curse knee-high objects! I’m not a worm!”

I giggled and cackled manically as I strode down the road. Past gravestones and old mini–cathedral sarcophagi, past puddles and through the pouring rain. I was feeling so incredibly, unreasonably happy. Why?

I don’t know!

It didn’t matter. It was a joy, it was reckless, it was stupid and quite honestly, I couldn’t have cared any less.

You tried to kill me, world, but I came back!

Only much later would I notice how jarring my indescribable happiness had been.

----------------------------------------

It wasn’t all that long into my journey back that I started hearing chanting in the distance again. I knew what was up of course, it was a parade of damned, blind soldiers or something and if their chanting ever got too close, I’d just have to lie down and wait it out.

Easy. Done deal. No problemo.

As I leisurely walked on, they got closer. I found a nice spot at the side of the road to lie down on and did. I was tired but I was so happy, I could barely contain myself from laughing out loud when I saw the procession bend around the corner nearest to me. It was an odd feeling just sitting there, watching them proceed down the road like a particularly sad carnival.

They’re blind! They’re blind and they don’t even know I’m here! This is amazing, I feel invincible! Haha, whoever’s had it out for me these past two days can go suck an egg.

Of course, just as I thought that another figure appeared behind the procession. Thin and lanky, yet with bulbous creatures attached to its body giving it an unnatural bulk, it was a flea host. For some reason, I wasn’t scared in the slightest. I was unarmed, lying on the ground, glowing like a lighthouse and waiting with giddy anticipation.

Oh boy! Oh boy! Here he comes! He’s gonna see me! Oh boy!

Squek.

Shut up, you! This is going to be glorious! I’m not gonna move an inch and, and… you’ll see!

The flea host did inevitably see me, letting out a blood-curdling screech as its neck craned towards my position. I watched with barely restrained glee as abruptly the whole procession of about eight or nine people came to a halt, turned around and shot towards the poor singular host like a volley of arrows.

They tore him to shreds within seconds. I let out a short laugh. I quickly covered my mouth with my left hand, fear mixing with the funny feeling that I now had a ticklish rat squished against my face.

“N–no, George, get off, we have to–snort– have to get out.” I whispered.

It was useless and out of the corner of my eye, I saw how the closest three individuals had already turned towards me, swords still slick with blood.

But it’s so funny! They just attack everything they can see but because they’re blindfolded, they can’t see. So they have to hear and all they hear when I’m here is the sound of things that are trying to kill me. And then they absolutely annihilate them, it’s like I’ve got a personal army of blind idiot fools dancing to my tune and really, I feel great, too great, I really shouldn’t, what with their menacing and slow walk towards me while I’m laughing, laughing not so quietly mind you, and… gah!

WHY THE HELL CAN’T I STOP LAUGHING?

…the host’s soul smells so wonderful.

I think there might be something wrong with me.

Luckily, they weren’t the only ones attracted to the sound of my unsuccessfully subdued laughing fit as three more flea hosts came crawling from gods knows where. They made a lot more sound the instant they saw me and the whole road was filled once more with the noise of frantic battle.

I breathed in two long breaths, very slowly.

I should really get out of here right about now. Wait, if I stick around and one of those chanting soldiers dies, could I nab their sword? I kind of want to wait and see.

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Squek!

Yeah, no, you’re right. Fat chance of that happening. We really ought to get going.

I got up, only needing two attempts while trying to not get impaled by a mini cathedral embellished with way too many spikes I was leaning on, and slowly hobbled away. It took me some time to navigate the labyrinthine streets of the graveyard but all the bumbling about started to help me slightly recenter my mind. And with recenter, I mean realize that I could have just died, and I hadn’t cared one bit.

Worrying. Very, incredibly worrying. Either I’m insane or eating too many souls does that to people. I can’t see that far, only seventeen feet or so, five of which are bright. I’m probably just insane, so nothing to worry about there.

Also worrying: I’m about to free a guy I’ve had exactly one conversation with, someone I’ve never even seen the face of, someone who I’m putting all my bets on being friendly and helping me out.

I came across a familiar patch of the road. It would be only a matter of minutes from there until I’d reach his cell.

He swore an oath. I have to trust in that. But he’s in hell. He had to be here for a reason. Sinner. Demon. Traitor. Murderer.

The closer I got, the less sure I was that setting him free was a good idea.

Maybe I shouldn’t free him? That’s a stupid question, of course. I didn’t go through that horrible experience to get the keys just to then not use them. What kind of idiot would I be to have gone and risked my life over and over for nothing?

Then again, I really didn’t think it through. It seemed so obvious in hindsight, but after that fish spat me out, every ounce of confidence seemed to have just been washed away. I latched on to the first suggestion I was given, no questions, no doubts. Ok, maybe a small number of doubts, but did that ever stop me? It didn’t and now his cell’s right around the corner and I still have no clue what to do about it.

I reached the place where the rocks formed a large circle, recognizing it as the one where I had first met him. It was still raining but I could have sworn that it wasn’t as bad as before. Maybe I was just accustomed to the feeling of being drenched in rain by now.

“Hey. Hey!” I said, looking around for his barred hole in the ground.

Where is it, where… ah, there it is. Right in the middle, deepest point of the road. That’s… a lot of water. I hope he hasn’t drowned yet.

“Hey! Hey, over here!” I heard the wolf say. I walked over to his cell and the picture of his helmet squeezed between the bars to get his head above the water gathered in his hole would have looked kind of funny if it weren’t for the slightly alarming circumstance that he was evidently going to drown pretty soon.

Still, he wasn’t going to go under right this moment. I had the keys and there was still some time left. Time I was going to use for some questions.

“Hello mister wolf. It’s me, Rye.”

Squek.

“And George. We’re back and we happen to have some questions for you.”

“Questions? Never mind that, do you have the keys? If so, then let me out.”

“If you answer me with the truth and nothing but the truth, then I will.”

“What? Why would I…” He contemplated for all but half a second as his grip on one of the bars slipped and he dipped a few inches below the water line. He pulled himself back up “Alright then. But make it quick. What is it you wish to know?”

“Have you ever murdered somebody?”

“Wha- Murdered?” He scoffed “I’ve killed, yes. Slain many in fact. I’m a wolf. It is part of my duties.”

Huh. Well, that did answer my question. Didn’t really stop me from having more questions. Luckily, I’m in a pretty good bargaining position because I’m not the one in threat of drowning, for once. Hooray!

I felt good, a low-key vibe of content still clinging to me, the origin of which I couldn’t quite put.

“Ok, that’s definitely not normal” The reasonable part of my mind chimed in. The guilty part also had something to say as I looked down at the wolf’s almost completely submerged form.

I shouldn’t take advantage of him like this. Of anybody. But he is being kind of suspicious.

“What do you mean by that? Part of your duties?”

He was silent for a considerably longer time after that question. Eventually, he did speak up.

“I cannot answer that question.”

“You can’t? Why?”

“That is… also part of my duties.”

“Neat.”

“Are you planning on helping me get out of here at all? If you are merely trying to get my hopes up before letting me drown, I would rather you stab me in the neck right now. “

“N–no! I’m not that cruel.” At least I hoped I wasn’t. I still didn’t know nearly as much about myself as I’d liked.

“You do have the keys, do you not?” he tried to rattle the bars, but they remained stuck in the rock. “You swore an oath. Not to the gods, but you did swear.”

I… kind of did do that, yeah. If he’d just… agh, I don’t know what I’m expecting, what I even want from him. He’s desperate and I’m just standing here, keys within arm’s reach, wringing a confession from him and… oh man, this is totally an interrogation, isn’t it? I’m being a total ass. Guilt tips the scales, time to let him out.

“I did. You’re right. Sorry.”

I went over to the locking mechanism, only to find it already under water. I looked at the keyhole. I looked at the chain of keys. There were at least twenty of them on it.

Maybe I should hurry up a bit.

…

“…that is the wrong one.” Said the wolf.

“I know.”

“… that one is as well.”

“I know!”

Fidgeting around with the keys got me a whole lot of frustration and I fumbled the keys almost immediately. They fell between the bars, into the water filled hole with a plop that spelled death.

“Ah! Shit…”

That exclamation didn’t quite encompass what I felt in the realm of dread, shame, guilt and all those other nasty emotions. I felt horrible, but also a tinge of guilty happiness.

At least now I don’t have to worry about whether this is a good idea or not anymore.

What the hell? Really? No, no I did not just think that. I’m a good bean.

A hand came up from the water and handed the key chain back to me. I couldn’t see him through his visor, but I bet he was shooting me a deadpan look of immeasurable disappointment. At that moment I really hoped wolves couldn’t read minds.

“Thank you.”

“Not a problem.” He grumbled. “Glad to be of service.”

“Hey, a bit less sass would make this whole thing a lot less stressful, okay?”

To be fair, he was completely silent after that. Something about death steadily encroaching being more important than witty comebacks, probably. He did blow some water out of the openings in his helmet a few times.

Reminds me of a fountain I saw once.

Ugh, no, focus!

Finally, after an embarrassing amount of time passed where only the sound of rain and my nervous fiddling with the lock could be heard, it made a clicking sound. Immediately, I stepped back, expecting the wolf to just shoot out of the water on his own. Instead, he remained where he was, hanging on to the bars that stood between him and freedom.

“Ok, next, you will have to hoist the lid up, somehow. It is heavy, so make sure you have a good grip on it. Do not let it fall on my head.”

“What?!” I looked at where he was gesturing. The bars were set into a ring of stone, forming a round lid. It was attached to the ground with a metal latch, and it looked heavy.

“Can’t you just… push it open from down there?”

He let out a deep sigh. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been hanging on to these bars for the past half hour or so. I cannot stand. This is a well, I have climbed to the top and the water is too deep.”

“O–ok. I’ll try.”

I really would. I only had one arm, after all and I wasn’t particularly strong. I went over to him and grabbed the middle bar at one end. The wolf let go of the bars himself and sunk beneath the water. Wouldn’t have done any good to add his weight to the lid’s. Then, with all the strength I could muster, I pulled back.

It was not nearly enough. I pulled and wheezed and pulled. The massive stone lid moved a tiny bit, but every time it did, I couldn’t lift it quite high enough. With a heavy thud, it fell back down. The wolf apparently took that as his cue to surge upwards and break free. His head met the bars with a metal thonk.

“Argh! Gods above, why did you not lift it?” he said, squeezing his face through the bars for air again.

“I–I can’t. Not strong. One good arm.” I replied in between trying to catch my breath.

“Oh.” There was a sense of finality to that short expression. Like a dot at the end of a line.

“I–I’m sorry. I just can’t. I’m not very strong, I’m wounded, I’m tired, I feel weird and woozy. Gimme a moment, I’ll try ag…”

He shushed me and for a moment, we both just listened to the rain fall. Was that chanting in the distance?

No, no, I’m imagining things. Bad things. Distracting things.

“This is the end for me then. My helmet is starting to fill up.”

“WHAT? No, no, no, I gave you my word, I’m getting you outta here.”

Things had suddenly turned serious, and I couldn’t think of anything besides a thousand ways of how I’d fail to get this damn lid opened up. The wolf on the other hand was calm. Calm in an unsettling manner. He was almost succeeding in making me believe that it was a lost cause. He spoke calmly and deliberately as I was still quietly trying to deal with preemptive guilt forming from the idea of having another possibly semi-innocent person’s blood on my hands.

“Listen. If you see a knight, a woman called Anna, tell her I’m sorry. And that I couldn’t see our promise through to the end.”

“No. Nonono. You’re not going to drown. I won’t let you.”

I stood up and frantically looked around. There had to be something, anything, that could help.

C’mon, c’mon, think, think.

“Also, if you see Frederic, a guy with a stupid hat, tell him he owes her an ale.”

“Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.”

“And if you see Harris, the merchant, tell him to be more assertive. Take some risks. Even at world’s end, he’ll never find his purpose if he keeps on faffin’ about.”

“Shut u– wait, you know Harris? Harris the merchant? As in, pillow merchant Harris?”

“Gurglegurglegurgle.”

I’m out of time. I’m out of time and out of ideas and I just, agh! Why can’t anything go my way, why am I such a fuckup, why… wait. Wait, that could work. I’m an idiot.

I stomped off to the side, finding bushes and trees off the side of the road rather quickly. Most of them were either too big for me to do anything about it or too small and spindly to really matter. What I needed was a good, long piece of wood. A good lever.

C’mon, C’mon. How hard can it be to find a good stick in these parts?

It took an uncomfortable number of seconds until I found a sturdy one that I thought would work. I rushed back, heartbeat rising, and jammed it into the place I thought would get me the most leverage. Then, I pulled back. And pulled and pulled and pulled.

Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.

The old branch creaked and groaned under the pressure as stone ground against stone.

It’s moving. C’mon Rye, one last push.

I felt the muscles in my back strain as I called upon every bit of strength left in my poor exhausted body. It was more than I thought I could muster and against all expectations, the lid moved. I shimmied my stick, pushing, pulling, getting the lid off the ground, higher and higher. I got it high enough that I could lift it on a knee, then both knees, then a shoulder and with a final push, the lid flapped open and crashed on to the stone floor. I peered into the deep hole filled with water. No sign of the wolf.

Ok Rye, on the count of four, you’re gonna jump in there and pull him out.

One. Two. Three.

A hand shot out from the murky depths. I grabbed it with my good one and pulled back, but it was barely necessary. Still, I gave it my all as I helped pull the wolf out of the hole. Water poured from every opening in his black armor. Both of us were sprawled out on the ground, me wheezing, him hacking and coughing uncontrollably.

“Hah. Hurgh. I live. I AM ALIVE!” he said.

“Hah. Hahah. Wohoo. Yay.” I just hope I made the right choice.

I looked at him, measuring him up and down.

Blackened armor covered his body from head to toe. Where he lay in all fours in my brighter light, I could see hints of shining metal poke out here and there. Where he stood in my dim light his contours inconspicuously melded with the surrounding darkness, as if it had swallowed him up. He wore a metal helmet with a pointy visor and the rest of his armor was plated, ending in pointy-tipped gauntlets and sabatons – wait, that’s what those metal boots are called! Draped over his left shoulder was a pauldron not too unlike a wolf’s head. Or a gargoyle’s. He was at least one head taller than me and while his limbs appeared rather lithe and long, I was sure that they hid a seasoned warrior’s strength.

Good. He can help with Pim.

A thought came to my mind and I felt like twice the idiot than I was before.

“Hey, wanna know something funny?”

He nodded.

“I had a ring that prevents drowning on me this entire time.”

Oops. Thanks, me, really, great at making friends as ever. I just got the ability to speak full sentences back and now I can’t stop myself from running my mouth. Great.

He chuckled and painfully hacked up another lungful of water, but otherwise took it in stride.

“Yeah. Sorry ‘bout that.”

We both stood up and I realized how much I’d underestimated his size. He was a bit more than two heads taller than me, approaching six feet. As he stood up, he shook the water from inside his metal greaves, then leaned back down and grabbed something from the hole.

I was surprised at the sheer size of the sword he pulled from it, easily reaching from the ground to his shoulders. It looked rusted and chipped and inspecting it, he tsk-ed, muttering something about sharpening stones and lost causes. He noticed me staring at him, jaw slack.

He’s a knight! He has totally rad armor covering him from head to toe, he’s sworn to a lady, and he’s got an awesomely huge sword, too! This is so friggin cool! So mysterious, so wow.

“You are a bit short to be playing the hero, are you not?” He said to me.

Wow. That’s the first thing he says after I saved his life? I, well, I normally don’t take comments like that in stride, but I did just tell him that I almost let him drown by being stupidly negligent. So, we’re one for one on insensitive jokes for now. That didn’t stop me from muttering a riposte of my own. Only to myself though. He still picked it up.

“And you’re a bit old to be playing the damsel in distress.”

He snorted, I couldn’t help a grin from forming, even as it hurt my nose and drove tears into my eyes. Then, his gaze drifted from my smashed face to my right hand and probably for first time he truly realized what condition I was in.

I certainly hadn’t kept count of all my cuts, stabs, bruises, and broken bones. My face was a mess for sure, I had dried blood and mud in just about every nook and cranny and I also really didn’t want to put too much weight on my left leg. It was feeling very stiff. I turned my right shoulder away from him, trying to hide my mangled hand in some odd bout of shame.

He walked up to me and even though I really had no reason to, as he stood before me, I took a step back. My heart jumped, fear and awe mixing as he bowed deeply. To me. Rye. Me, the small and insignificant screw-up.

“Thank you. For all you have given up and sacrificed. For saving my life. I would love to say I will never forget it, but...” he trailed off into mumbling I didn't quite understand.

“Uh. Ok. You’re welcome? You’re gonna keep your promise though, right?”

He stood straighter again and with a certain grace put his hand to his chest.

“I swore an oath on my distant lady. I shall serve thee, in any way thou demand, until thou release me from mine duty or the debt of a life is paid.”

My heart skipped a beat and then fell down some stairs.

Squee! This is perfect! It’s like, a fairytale or something. Except it’s real! It’s real and I can see it all in front of me and wow, this may just be my excitement speaking, but this nearly makes up for all the shit I had to go through to get here. I can almost imagine all the cool stories he can tell, the adventure’s he’s been on, the places and people he’s seen, the…

Suddenly, he gripped my chin and turned it towards him.

“Uh?”

“Hold still.”

Then he gripped my nose with the other, and with a sick cracking sound, pain erupted around it and tears flowed from my eyes. I snorted a clot of blood on to the ground.

“OW! What the fuck?”

“There. Better now?”

I was loathe to admit it, but my breathing was a lot clearer, and I could finally smell something that wasn’t dried blood.

“Yeah. I guess. Just, warn me the next time you do that!”

“Certainly. It is not much of an aesthetic improvement, but–“

“Hey!”

He chuckled.

Rude.

His tone got a lot more serious.

“We will have to take more drastic measures for your arm there. The sooner the better. Do you know the way out of this place?”

“Out of it, as in back to the temple?”

He nodded. I shook my head. I didn’t really think that going back the way came was a valid option.

“Then you might just about be the second luckiest person in this entire graveyard because I know it like the back of my boot.”