Chapter 3: Ceila’s Rage and Cha Neng’s Decision
Today, work was hell. The stupid supervisor droved Ceila up the wall. If it wasn’t for the fact that Ceila only have a GED, it would have been her who had that title instead of that stuck up mutt, Jodi Andrews. Irritated and jealousy just made Ceila more irrational. She sped home in record time so that she can release her anger on her worthless husband. It was a wonder how she hadn’t divorce him yet. She had thought about it but her pride just wouldn’t let her.
She was from a small clan but a rich one. When she had first laid eyes on Cha Neng, it was love at first sight. Before he turned into a useless and abusive jerk, he was a talented man. He was well studied in the arts of poetry, xiqin, and folk songs. Not only that, he was handsome and from a fairly good family.
But her mother was against the marriage and even before she succumbed to illness and death, she still had hated him. Her mother never told her why; but because Ceila had always gotten what she wanted; she rebelled and argued until her father gave in. Shortly after their marriage, war happened and they had lost.
They had to move to a new country where everything were strange and out of their element. What Ceila missed the most was the status and wealth that made everyone admired and worshiped her. She blamed her father and husband for having chosen the wrong side in the war.
Despite her temperament, she firmly believed in karma and fate. She had gone against her mother’s will and had betted her pride on Cha Neng so now she had dug her own grave for being willful and arrogant. She must have owed him in her past life, because even after he started gambling and became addicted to opium, she thought that with patience and her sons growing older, he will turn around and improve. But that was not the case. It seemed like her husband had become lazy and unmotivated.
Scrreeeccchhhh!
The tires squealed to a stop and Ceila rambled inside ready to start a fight when she had to stop out of confusion. What she saw was a place so rummaged and messy that she couldn’t tell what was what. But her focus zoomed onto the broken pieces of glass that were lying around everywhere. It was not just any old glass; it was a beautiful heirloom, a vase that her mother had given her. Even though it wasn’t worth much, the sentimental value was priceless. An invisible taunt string that had been holding her sanity for so long, all of a suddenly snapped, making her howled like she had never done before. Her vision blurred and the room began to spin around. Ceila managed to scream, “WHAT IN THE GOD DAMN HELL HAPPENED HERE!”
Ceila was enraged. Her beautiful vase was broken. The only link to her mother and her old life had shattered. She felt so much pain that she just started to randomly grab things and threw them against the walls.
Then a pair of thin arms came around and tried to embrace her. Ceila couldn’t register who it was. Her mind was so unstable that even she had no control over her emotions. Her anger over-rode every other feeling that was going through her head.
Shilan had rushed downstairs to find that her mother had lost it. She even desperately tried to embrace her while pleading, “Mom, please. Mom, please calm down.”
But that didn’t do anything except earning Shilan a few more jabs to her already bruised ribcage. She was more scared of her mother hurting herself from all the broken pieces of glass than for herself at the moment. She struggled to drag her mother towards the stairs where it was safe but instead was rebuffed.
SMACK!
Somehow, while struggling to break free from Shilan’s arms, her mother swung her open palms wide and connected to Shilan’s face. It was so quick that she didn’t register the burning pain until after a few more seconds. But she still did not let go of Ceila.
Then Shilan did something that she wouldn’t have dare to under normal circumstances, she quickly let go of Ceila and stood in front of her, drew back her hand and gave her mother a stinging slap across her face.
“Calm down” said Shilan in a low voice. “It was the loan sharks.”
Ceila, dazed from the slap, digested the information.
“Loan sharks?” she whispers. Then she shrilly screamed, “Loan sharks?! Why doesn’t he just chop me apart, kill this god damn family, and burn us all up?”
Then it seemed that she had just remembered something, she ran up the stairs and slammed into her bedroom. “That shit!”
Shilan follow closely behind her and saw that clothes and other miscellaneous items were strewn about. Hearing her mother cuss, she instantly knew why. Her father had done this looking for her mother’s secret stash.
Ceila slowly walked to the bed and pushed it towards the wall. The large rug that decorated the floor beneath the bed was also dragged along with its weight. What revealed underneath the bed where it had used to be was the hardwood flooring. Close to the wall, the hardwood flooring looked loose and was held down by some screws. Ceila quickly open the drawer next to her and took out a screw driver. She unscrewed the plank and gently took out a small safe.
“Thank God.” Ceila was so relieved that her knees became weak. She had worked so hard to save this money that if Cha Neng had taken it; she can probably kill him without a second thought. She then saw Shilan looking at her. There was no curiosity in her eyes just understanding.
Ceila have mix feelings about her daughter. Every time she sees her, multitude of feelings comes up. They all jumble about especially hate and jealousy. Without any rhyme or reason, Ceila feels hate for her own flesh and blood. She knew it was irrational but her daughter embodies memories that she doesn’t want to remember. Many times just looking at her daughter, depression just flares and drives her mad with rage. With the anger and fear that Cha Neng had found her secret stash gone, she slowly grasps her sanity.
“What the hell are you looking at?” Quipped Ceila as she narrows her eyes to slits. “Don’t you have work to do?”
Not wanting to draw any more attention to her, Shilan quickly escape downstairs to clean up the room. With a long and tire sigh, Shilan just wanted to run away. She hope that her father stay away for the moment because if he came home. . .
‘No, no, no, no. I already have a headache. I don’t want to think about it.’
“SHIT! Shit. Shit” mutters Cha Neng as he walks around in circles. ‘Where the hell am I going to find the money to pay them with? Should he go to his cousin and beg him for money? No. No. No. He can’t, he’ll be a laughing stock.’
While he continues to scheme, he couldn’t come up with anything. Short of selling himself as an organ donor, he has nothing of value. Then as he thought of his family his eyes lit up.
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‘Ahhh, why did I panic when I could have offered this alternative?’ With an insane chuckle he slowly walks home to put his plan to work.
When he finally got home, it was past midnight. The whole house was dark except a little light that shine through the cracks of the window blinds in the upstairs bedroom that faces the street.
‘She’s waiting for me’ thought Cha Neng. He squares his shoulders and slicks back his hair as he gets ready for battle. He quietly makes his way up the stairs and opens the door to the bedroom. Ceila was still dressed and was comfortably sitting up on their queen size bed. When Cha Neng walked in, her eyes were flashing daggers at him waiting for him explain.
Cha Neng didn’t make any excuses or even tried to lie. “I borrowed 20,000 dollars. I lost 18,000 at the Golden Bowl Casino. The rest went to my medicine.”
Ceila didn’t say anything; she just quietly waits until he was gone. Rattled, Cha Neng helplessly said, “That day I borrowed the money, was my lucky night. I was winning and there was no sign that said I was going to lose. So, I didn’t stop. Then I lost it all in one hand.”
He ruffles his hair in irritation. “But if you agree, we can solve this without losing a cent.”
“I’m listening” was all Ceila said.
Cha Neng hesitantly continues. “You know how in our culture, girls have a bride price? Why don’t we have Shilan go in exchange for our debt?”
“So you want to sell out Shilan?” Ceila asks in disbelief. “Do you know that she is still underage? Do you know how much face you will lose if you do this?”
“What’s wrong with having a daughter pay for her family’s debt? It is one of her duties to help; she should be honor to help save her family’s face!”
“We live here in this country right now. There are laws. I don’t think you can get away with this.”
“We can unless you open your mouth.” Cha Neng pauses and then said, “This is the only way unless you want the loan sharks to kill us all.”
Unable to think of a solution, Ceila purses her lips. There were so many pros about Cha Neng’s solution than cons. The only problem is Shilan. Even though she gave birth to Shilan, she couldn’t necessarily say that she raised her, and she have to admit that she had been depending on Shilan to take care of the household. Ceila doesn’t think that her daughter will take it kindly. She’s a quiet girl but she also has a lot of patience and endurance. Ceila herself knew that the girl must have other plans about her future. Shilan had never rebel or been hostile towards them which even made Ceila feel slightly guilty but her hatred for her daughter usually over shadows it. But this decision is out of her control. She just has to turn a blind eye to this problem and let Cha Neng take the responsibility and blame.
“It’s up to you.”
“Shilan will be okay. She just has to produce results and make the organization happy. As long as she does what they want, we’ll be debt free.”
Ceila doesn’t know who Cha Neng was trying to convince, her or him. She just hopes that whatever happens, there will be no more trouble after this.
The following few days were very quiet. Her parents didn’t get into a fight like she thought they would. Her father didn’t seem worry about the loan sharks so Shilan assumed that her mother paid them with her secret savings. Even though she felt no love for her family, she still has to thank them for giving birth to her. That was why she had never given them any problems and obediently conforms to their rules and demands. Maybe deep inside of her heart, she still wanted her parents to love and acknowledge her? She had read somewhere before that “a parent could never really hate their own child.” Unless this is false, Shilan, secretly hope that her parents have some affection for her despite their volatile temperaments.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
The car horn snaps Shilan out of her revelry. She looks to both sides of the street and when there were no more cars; she crosses the street to go to work.
That night after work, Shilan was surprise to see her father waiting outside of the bookstore. He rarely if ever has come to pick her up.
“Shilan, is that your father?” ask Cathy as she looks out the wide window. “Does he want to come in while we get ready to close the store?”
“I don’t know. But it is okay. It doesn't take long to close the store anyway.”
“Well, I guess” reply Cathy and then she smiles. “I will like to meet him though? I want to let him know how well he has raised you. You are such a good kid and very hardworking.”
Not knowing how to respond to Cathy, Shilan blushes in embarrassment. She was not use to having people compliment her so it made her feel awkward.
Cathy seems to understand why Shilan’s face was so red and chuckles. She then turns off the lights and follows Shilan out the door.
Shilan was nervous. She had never introduced anyone to her parents before so she was having mix feelings. Her parents weren’t very social people and they were shy of the new language that they had picked up. So she was surprise when her father greeted her boss, Cathy. He didn’t say much beyond a thank you when Cathy complimented him. Then her father told her to get in the car.
“Goodnight Cathy. I’ll see you tomorrow morning” said Shilan as she waves her hand out the window of the moving car.
Cha Neng looks at Shilan and silently drove. When he drove pass Jackson Street, Shilan wonders where they are going.
Noticing the question in her eyes, Cha Neng said “I have somewhere to go before we go home.”
With an uneasy feeling, Shilan didn’t voice any objections. But for some reason she was very nervous.
Two hours later, her father stopped in front a small building. There were multiple bars and small businesses along the street. There were many shiny lights and people walking about. Her father got out of the car and went around to her side, opening the door.
“Come out. I need your help with some papers” orders Cha Neng.
A little scared and confused, Shilan slowly got out of the car. For some reason the hairs in back of her neck stood up and from the recess of her mind a voice softly urges Shilan to run.
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Thanks for reading. If there are any suggestions or advice please give me a heads. There are only a couple of more chapters before this part of her life ends and towards the main story.