We walked outside, I hate it when the sunlight bounces into my eyes like that. The marble around us was basically a weapon against me.

The prince exhaled heavily and put his hands on his waist before stopping and lowering his head.

“Lifes, I really need you to take it easy… You’re supposed to be my servant, not my headache, at least not for now.” What do you mean not for now?

“How ridiculous, mister charisma, you wanted me to be your ‘meat shield’ as you put so beautifully, now you seem like a bit of a herbivore, honestly. I’m a convicted criminal, remember? a murder-murderer. *Tch*

Why is it so important to keep my reputation in check all of a sudden?”

He went towards a bench nearby and sat down, signaling to me to do the same.

“It is exactly because you are a criminal that I need you to show some signs of change. There are reasons for me to need you on my side, there are reasons as to why it has to be you. For the kingdom’s sake.

I sat down and leaned back in the bench to look at the sky, the fucking sun ruined the plan so I looked back at my feet… “Why should I care about your reasons? Also, you’re the prince and I’m just a slave right? can’t you just force me to do as you wish? You’re pathetic really…

Your brother seemed much more assertive to me.”

I smirked and lifted my head to look at the prince. His face looked like he was about to rip my heart out of my chest with his bare hands, guess I touched a painful subject?

He closed his eyes and rubbed his nose bridge with 2 fingers before speaking again “Lifes, I’d like to tell you something about me.”

The prince lowered his head and leaned forward, elbows on his knees and hands clasped together.

“Like you said, I’m pathetic. I pretend to have grand ambitions, truthfully I don’t care about the throne, I don’t care about helping the Hadohians, I don’t care about normalizing relations with demi-humans…”

Should I have thought he did care about it?

“You probably know the Hero of Liberation, Silver, right? I bet you do. I want to be him, Lifes, I want everyone on this continent to know my name and know of my accomplishments!

Silver died 500 years ago and he’s still the most well known character in history, except for maybe the Firsts.”

I stared at red hair’s dejected form as he spoke. I think that might have been the most honest thing I’ve heard in the last few months.

“Why are you telling me all of that? You don’t even know me, you should hate me if anything, I’m trying hard here you know.”

“Haha, Lifes, looking at you always makes me feel a sharp pain in my chest. I guess I just can’t help but feel as if we are in a similar position.

There are also the other reasons I’d mentioned earlier.”

“Similar? You and me? Don’t make me laugh! I don’t go around pretending to be all righteo-” Something inside my head clicked all of a sudden.

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

Red-hair just looked at me and raised a brow.

All of the voices calling me a murderer attacked from all directions. Is that why everything felt so strange lately? Why I got so angry every time? Was I pretending to be someone I was not?

“Fuck that! I’m not like you. Don’t compare the two of us, you were born with a golden spoon in your mouth; never had to worry about a single thing, now you’re saying we’re the same because you’re secretly a little selfish?

Yeah, no thank you, don’t lump us together.”

His lips trembled slightly as he pursed them tightly.

“If you need me to be your meat shield or whatever, that’s one thing, but make no mistake, I am not and will not be your friend.

We live in 2 different worlds and you understand nothing about mine. Just make sure I’m free to do what I want after we’re done with this mission and we can go our separate ways and never interact again.”

I got up from the bench and started walking away.

“Lifes, I refuse to treat you like a slave. I don’t care if you ever see me as a friend or not but, now even more than before, I truly believe we’re similar, I’m sure you’ll understand one day.

My secret reasons are not really important at all for my next decision. Lifes, I won’t treat you like a slave and I give you my word that if we make it back alive, you will get your freedom!”

Tch, annoying prick, hearing his words made my chest tighten a little bit and my hands tremble. I bit my lip and went back to the training room to receive permission from Corolio to have my talk with Dawn. This talk just became a little more urgent.

***

“Dawn, I’ll just get straight to the point, do you think I’m a murderer?”

My old comrade and his master both just stood in the middle of the hallway and stared at me.

“Noshi… are you sick?” He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow “Do you remember what organization we belonged to?”

“...”

Annoying asshole “whatever, I guess salvation isn’t to be found here, thanks for nothing, asshole.” I turned around and started walking away.

“Wait Lifes! Dawn was just joking, he’ll answer your question seriously!” Liliya said desperately behind me.

I looked back to see a flustered Dawn trying not to contradict his master too much “W-what? But I did, Lily… We were both assassins before leaving Slayer, it’s common knowledge that assassins murder people, is it not?” The noble girl threw a death glance towards her servant and hit him with her elbow.

“*Sigh*, ok, Noshi, are you asking if you’re a person who has committed a murder in the past? or are you asking if you are a person who commits murders? Think about this question long and hard, if you ever find a suitable answer, you’ll probably figure the rest out. Also, maybe try to think about how you define murder.

Nobody else can answer this question you’re asking, but other people can help.” How would learning a definition help me feel better?

The answer earned him a pat on the head and I think the guy almost passed out from happiness.

Liliya said she hopes I manage to find my answer and wished me goodbye, then left together with Dawn. I could hear her praising him as they walked towards the dining room.

I can see why Snoopsi and Kiyoko always said this guy is so smart.

Am I a murderer… I guess it was the wrong question.

But why did he say it was obvious that Slayers committed murders? That’s not true, all of the people I killed, they were all scum, deserving of death. One glance at the files and you’d know.

My first target was a man who kidnapped children from the slums and experimented on them. One lady used to take slaves from the trading companies in Silka and arrange fights to the death; the slaves would be starved before too and treated like trash.

All of those people deserved death!

I bit my lip and yelled at the leaving Dawn and Liliya “Katsuki! Those people deserved death! I’m not a murderer, you’re not a murderer, Ostel, Snoopsi, Niya, none of them are murderers!

All the people we killed were terrible people that deserved to die!”

They didn’t stop walking, he just turned his head towards me and asked “Said who? Who decided that?” His head turned back towards Liliya as they stopped before he added “Ahh, don’t bother answering, I don’t care, I know I used to be a murderer. I was born, I took a life in an unjust manner, It is what happened and it is what it is, I don’t care about it.

Good luck figuring your stuff out Noshi, I don’t know why it bothers you so much, but that’s for you to figure out.” The couple waved goodbye and walked away.

What do you mean who decides they deserve to die?! They are bad people so they deserve to die! I didn’t do anything wrong.