I look at Rosaleen with disbelief, “You said he was likely going to die today from his wounds?” I reply breathlessly.
“There is no point in dragging his suffering out, it is an unnecessary strain to our resources and besides after an attack like this, to my guests, my inner circle; this is a betrayal to me, and I want no such person on my ship.” Rosaleen asserts herself and asks me again. “How do you want him disposed of?” She demands. I can’t bring myself to speak, let alone to answer and I just stay quiet. I can’t help myself and feel shaken by the idea of being responsible for another’s death. Rosaleen removes the ice pack from my forehead and gently touches where it has been, “I know that you are troubled with the thought of what I am asking you. Understand that his death isn’t your fault, but his own. If he were loyal and had any respect for me, or the people aboard this ship, this would not have happened.”
I nod, but my hands are shaking with fear as to what I am about to say. “Okay, he will be disposed of quickly to reduce the suffering.” I pause, to gather my nerves, my voice, quivering, “His throat will be slit as he had threatened to do to me, and he will be thrown overboard as soon as we know that he is dead, so that he doesn’t wake when he is eaten by the creatures of the ocean.” I close my eyes to contain the horror of my own words. I sense that any more signs of weakness-like tears in this moment will not look good, so I hold them in. Slowly, I open my eyes to the sight of Rosaleen looking relieved by my answer.
Rosaleen says, “I know this is hard for you, you are very strong and very fair to give a quick death.” She places the ice pack back on my head. “You need to eat.” She glances to Izavelle who is standing behind her with my tray of food in her hands, “See to it that she eats a full three servings, she needs to gain her strength quickly, we need her strong for the day to come. I won’t allow this mishap to delay our plans.” Izavelle nods and the two of them switch places. Izavelle lays the tray on the bed and begins to feed me. Rosaleen continues, “Soolena keep watch over the betrayer tonight, and Ashlea will rest with me for the remainder of the night. In the morning Taylan will carry out her sentence before breakfast.” After she gives the orders she turns and leads Ashlea out of the room, and I assume that they must be taking Izavelle’s room for the rest of the night because Izavelle and I are still in Rosaleen’s. Soolena follows them out, and I am left with Izavelle. She feeds me and encourages me to drink. I slowly finish all the meals.
“I feel sick.” I quietly moan to Izavelle.
“Yes, I know, but trust me you will feel your strength come back to you.” She removes the tray from the bed. “You need your rest; close your eyes and I will stay with you for the rest of the night.” Izavelle lifts the sheets on the opposite side of the bed and gently crawls in beside me. She leans over to the nightstand and turns off the light. I feel secure and protected as I close my eyes.
After a few hours of rest, Izavelle and I wake to the morning sun. Izavelle checks my temperature and gently opens the bandage to see that the stitches are good.
“Come let’s get you dressed.” Izavelle says.
I ask, “Are we not bathing this morning?”
Izavelle explains, “Taylan you have forgotten. Your attacker needs to be dealt with before anything else. You sentenced him last night and you need to be the one to carry out the sentence.”
The color that I worked so hard at getting back has gone from my face.
“Is this your first kill?” Izavelle asks.
“Well yes, I mean no, I have killed animals for food, but never people, isn’t this against all morals? We don’t kill people where I am from.”
Izavelle sits beside me on the bed. “You are no longer just any commoner; you belong to Rosaleen, and you need to trust her and respect her words and wisdom. She is a princess, and her conclusions rule out any jury. Your sentence was fair and just.” She pauses, gazing deep into the souls of my eyes, “This isn’t a punishment for him, you have sentenced him to a quick death; if you don’t act, it would be an injustice to let him suffer even though he has harmed you.” She reaches for my hand and holds it in hers, “You need to carry this out and show your princess that you can stand behind your words and her command.” Izavelle speaks with certainty. She genuinely believes that what is being done is fair and I suppose it is, considering the attacker won’t recover. This still doesn’t add up though. The attacker has been a member of her crew longer than Ashlea and me. Without any questions, they accepted Ashlea’s and my account as truth. Yes, I sustained an injury, but it is just, I don’t know. I thought they would take more time in deciding guilt and the fate of a life. Okay I can do this.
I answer Izavelle’s words of encouragement. “Yes, I can and will carry out the sentence.” I hold my gaze back at Izavelle to show that I am not taking any of this lightly. There is no wavering in my voice, fear yes, concern yes and sorrow yes.
Izavelle smiles encouragingly, “You can do this, and it will be quick. Come let’s meet everyone outside.” She helps me dress in loose fitted white linen pants and a shirt. She dresses the same, and we go to the deck.
Ashlea and Rosaleen are already standing before a crowd, all the servants on the ship have gathered and are all greeting Izavelle and I as we come out into the fresh salty air. The crowd parts as we walk over to Ashlea and Rosaleen. As we approach the front of the crowd, I can see that Soolena has my attacker bound and sitting in a chair, he is unresponsive and still unconscious; tying him up wasn’t necessary. Rosaleen looks at me and gives me a nod and pat of encouragement, and she begins to speak to the crowd.
She deepens and projects her voice for the crowd, “You have all been pulled away from your duties this morning because you need to be advised that a terrible act has been committed last night.” Rosaleen pauses and looks out at all the faces in the crowed, her crew. She speaks with such authority and presence. “One of our crew on this ship, my crew and our family has committed a foul and vial act to one of our newest members to our family. This girl:” Rosaleen places her hand gently onto my shoulder as she says it, still looking out on the crowd, “This girl, has been attacked by this poor excuse for a person.” She motions and looks over to my attacker with such anger in her expression and in her most powerful voice continues, “In the middle of the night he crept into Taylan’s room and attacked her while she was asleep. He held a knife to her throat and put her life in danger. Taylan has been under my close supervision since she has arrived on this ship, and there was no reason for the attack. She did nothing to him.” She pauses, looking over to Ashlea, “If it wasn’t for Ashlea,” Rosaleen gazes at Ashlea with gratitude, “Taylan would not likely be standing here this morning. Ashlea ambushed him and injured him with a single blow to the back of the head to stop the attack and rescue her sister.” Rosaleen pauses for a breath while everyone applauds for the heroism that Ashlea displayed in coming to my rescue. “My dear Izavelle mended Taylan’s wounds and kept her safe by her side for the rest of the night, and now we are before you all to put an end to this man’s life. As voiced by Taylan and approved by me, I sentence this man to death.” She looks out to the crowd to see if there are any objections, there is none. The crowd has a look of shock, anger, and somberness to them. “Taylan has sentenced her attacker a very fair and quick death, and she will carry out the sentence.” Rosaleen motions me with her eyes to accept the blade that she is holding out. I take the sharp shiny knife in my hands and lightly touch the point; instantly it draws blood.
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Soolena whispers to me, “Hold the knife firm, I will hold his head up for you. Put the point in as deep as you can push, just under the side of his jaw, you are going to, with a firm grasp of the handle, carve the knife down and forward to sever his major vein lengthwise. This is going to get messy, but remember deep, firm, and quick, but not too fast and steady will give him a quick death.” She holds up his head and tilts it so that I can see his vein, his pulse. My hands are shacking. This feels wrong to do this to a man who is already near death. Rosaleen is clever to have me do it because if there is any retaliation for what is about to be done, it will be on me. Soolena looks back at me and nods to tell me in unspoken words to do it now. I step forward towards him and take a deep shivering breath; I refuse to look at the faces of the crowd in fear that my already shaken nerves will overtake and prevent me from carrying out the sentence. I push the blade’s point a couple of inches in, and a light spray of blood ejects between the cut skin and the blade. I know I must do this quick so that there is no suffering. Despite what he has done to me, he doesn’t need to suffer. I close my eyes and quickly glide the blade, opening his neck and his vein. The blood sprays onto my linen clothes and pours out in a pulsing flow onto the deck of the ship. Izavelle is still holding him steady, even if she lets him go, he won’t run he was as good as dead before I drove the blade into him. I don’t take my eyes off him, I don’t shed a tear, and I just watch, his face relaxes, his mouth opens slightly, and I can see the tip of his limp tongue. His eyelids are slightly open; there is no movement, or life in them. I watch as the flow of blood slows to a throbbing stream. Respectful of his body, I put my hand to his chest to feel a heartbeat, nothing. I take his wrist to feel for a pulse, nothing. I wait for a twitch, any sign of life, nothing. He is gone. Izavelle gently lets his body droop to the floor. She is also covered in his blood. I face the crowd. I can’t believe I had the capacity to do this. To kill, I am not a killer. I look at the crowd and can see what I think is sympathy on their faces, but not for the dead man, for me. It was his fault, and it had to be done. I stand there still and silent facing them holding the knife down at my side. Rosaleen steps towards me, and without looking up at her, I hand the bloody blade back.
Rosaleen addresses the crowd, “We can’t afford to turn on each other and attack one another. We are family. We need to respect each other and protect one another.” She pauses, capturing the eyes of many, “We need to feel safe on this ship. I hope that this is the last act of violence amongst our family, and if any other who wishes to attack another one of my crew, I promise that they will suffer a more agonizing death than the one you witnessed here.” She gazes into the many eyes of the crowd, reading them and making sure that they are with her.
Rosaleen directs her attention on me, “Taylan you will clean this deck and rid it of this mess.” She says it like a punishment. Rosaleen’s eyes still peering into mine, she addresses Soolena and my sister; “Soolena and Ashlea will help you dispose of the remains overboard. Make sure to weight it down, we are not a far distance from the shore.” She turns quickly, angered by all of this, and walks through the crowd hastily. If I were to guess, she went to her room to wash up in privacy and reflect. Izavelle is left without orders and without any instruction. She decides to converse with the crew of the ship and explain in more detail with smaller groups of them the details of the actions that had taken place last night. I watch Izavelle converse. They seem confused and surprised at first but after a few minutes, Izavelle seems to accomplish an understanding. I start to wonder about what Izavelle said to me, that things are not always, what they seem and hinted at the fact that she may not be loyal to the Princess, but now she is on Rosaleen’s side in easing the stress of the crew.
I approach the slumped over body and touch his side. He is already cooling off. My hands are still shaking. He looks like he could glance up at any moment. I slowly fall to my knees before him. His short hair is a dull black and his narrow face almost looks rat like now that he is gone. He doesn’t even look like he is at peace. I do not know him, other than the fact that he would bring out trays of food to us. I never spoke to him, other than a quick nod of my chin to thank him for the food. Do I hate him? No, it seems like the attack happened a long time ago and is something of the past especially after having all of this happen. His body is blood soaked. My clothes are covered in his blood. Puddles of blood are pooling all around me as the wounds from his corpse continues to ooze.
A woman comes up from behind me, I know she is older just from the feeling I get in her presence, “Dear let’s get you up on your feet.” She gently places her hands under my arms, and I rise to my feet at the gentle feeling of her touch. I can sense that she is a much older and much wiser, I would guess much older than even my mother. The rasp to her voice and the maternal instinct in her demeanor, which comes with time. My guess is she has raised many children, or she was a guardian.
She encourages with a smile, “You don’t have to explain yourself, and I know and can see what you have been through. You have never done anything like this before, have you?” Her eyes are a beautiful blue a bright topaz. They peer right into my soul and make me feel vulnerable. I shake my head no and a tear trickles down my face. She takes her finger, touching my skin and stops the tear from running down to my chin, “Hun I know, but you must understand that this is a part of life, and there are things that you must do that are for the greater good. Keep that in your heart.” She rubs my back and helps me out. She motions to the doors leading into the ship, “There are some cleaning supplies just over there; I will help you take care of all of this.”
I answer, “You don’t have to do this; I already have help.” She doesn’t hear me decline her offer; she is gone to get the mops and buckets. Soolena and Ashlea have already started getting supplies together to clean the mess and without me paying any attention to them, they have gone to retrieve a small anchor from one of the lifeboats. The anchor will be used as a weight for the corpse, and Ashlea has already retrieved some rope to secure the anchor to the body. Ashlea and Soolena dispose of the body. Soolena gently sits the corpse up by taking her arms and clasping them around the torso of the body under the man’s armpits, and she quietly instructs Ashlea how to secure the anchor to him.
The woman returns with a couple of mops, rope, sponges, and an empty bucket and sets everything down. I instinctively take the bucket and the rope; tying the rope to the bucket handle and then tie the other end of the rope to the railing of the ship. I lower the bucket down over the side to get water and then pull the bucket back up. The woman is behind me by helping me, carry the weight of the water as I tug it back up the side of the ship. We both take a mop and dip it into the water. Then we start directing the pool of blood off the deck and over the ledge of the ship.
I glance through my red strands of hair, “Why are you helping me?” I ask in a defeated. I am so tired from all of this, both physically and emotionally.
She glances up at me as she continues to mop away the blood, “I can see that you needed the help and the company.”
“I never got your name, I am Taylan.” Despite my fatigue and sadness, I try to welcome her company as best as I can. I know deep down that I need her company, a stranger’s company that is outside of the social circle of Rosaleen, Soolena, Izavelle and even Ashlea. Just for now, until I can wrap my head around everything.
She smiles, “I know who you are Taylan. Rosaleen introduced you to everyone.”
“Right, I am sorry” and I shake my head at my own stupidity; of course, she knows who I am, especially after all of this.
“Don’t be sorry, your right I never said my name, I am Zethel.”
“Zethel, where are you from?”
“I come from a small remote area that is near to here. I believe that Rosaleen has plans to visit my homeland today.” She says as she continues to mop.
“How did you come to work here on this ship, I mean you seem to be much older and to my understanding only the young are kept serving?” She smiles politely but drops her eyes to the floor and doesn’t answer my question right away. I feel like I have overstepped an unspoken boundary, “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to offend.”
“No, it’s alright,” she assures, “I am not here because of a calling to serve, I came because I love Rosaleen.”
I ponder her words for a moment, “Are you Rosaleen’s Mother?”