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A Lich's Guide to Dungeon Mastery
Chapter 16: Occam's Roulette

Chapter 16: Occam's Roulette

First thing’s first, I grabbed the Willpower Enhancement. Once again, it just made more sense than Reinforcement, even if it did feel like I was minmaxing.

After that, I started surveying my floors. Of course, the first 8 were the only ones that had been finished so far, but the others would be important for this as well.

I should explain a little better. Seaming was basically just a Demiplane spell, where you'd tie another, smaller reality of your own creation to another location. Well, in the case of Demiplane, it was linked to you specifically, and you could open it anywhere, but here it was mostly static. However, I could extend it as much as I liked, meaning that it could theoretically become its own full reality.

Of course, I wouldn't be able to do that quite yet. Instead, I started using the Boon on my 63rd floor to get an idea of how it was used, and my energy was rapidly drained as the Seam started to form. I quickly put a Notch in it to save my progress, then cut off the energy flow just before I ran out.

Inspecting my work, I found that a new set of identical strings were overlaying reality around the portal in the center of the room, where I'd started the Seaming. They were in the same place, yet… different. Was this what looking at things that were fourth dimensional would look like? I was looking at two things that shared their X, Y, and Z coordinates, but were separated on an axis that I simply couldn't see.

Since it was my power that had created it, I had an innate link to the Seaming, and I looked in on it through that. It didn't take long to realize what had gone wrong. The layer of reality that I'd been crafting had been exactly copying what I formed it over, and that included the portal. I’d basically been trying to simultaneously form a ton of strings in a similar way as how I did with Notions and form a portal, but I hadn’t been tying the other side of the portal in, and it literally couldn’t be formed since there was already a portal there, so tons of Spatium had been drained to try and force the issue.

In other words, I’d need to be pretty careful about what I copied into a Seam. I could only imagine what would happen if I accidentally started to copy hundreds of creatures. Would it drain Necrosis out of me until I made up for the deficit?

Anyways, the portal had closed on its own when I stopped feeding it energy, since it hadn’t been able to complete and I hadn’t attached any Notches directly to it. The rest of the Seam was still around, though, so I started again after letting my energy recover a bit.

I focused on extending the plane as far as I could, and Spatium was drawn away from me to stretch the Seam, eventually surpassing the rather significant size of the room. Next, I extended it upwards and downwards. I called for all of my mobs to step out for a little while, then finished off the last couple floors. I left my top floor uncopied, since I didn’t want to have to move my Phylactery and also didn’t really see much of a reason.

With Stitching, I tugged a bit on the threads of standard reality, and grinned when I saw that the Seam’s cords moved separately. With just a slight bit of effort, I formed portals on each of my floors that would lead to the other side. It was ridiculously easy, since the places I was connecting were literally on top of each other.

I directed all of my mobs to enter the rifts, then let the spells collapse behind them. Suddenly, hundreds of my mobs were inside my spatial domain, separated from base reality. I felt a bit of strain coming from the threads, so I added in some more Notches for additional stability. To make absolutely sure that it wasn’t going to break, I took the time to slowly thread some immaterial Notions to the place. They would simply act as additional threads, taking on a bit of the strain of the others and holding everything together.

Calling up the details of the new Boon once more, I tested a theory I had, and utter glee filled me when I saw that I could put more than one Seam in the same spot. I could make multiple realities that stacked on top of each other. In other words, I’d just made my dungeon instanced.

Just as I started stretching that new Seam, however, Azrael charged down the stairs at top speed.

“Ambrosethey’recomingweneedtogetready,” she said, her body–including her mouth–still moving at top speed.

I stopped, taking a moment to process what she’d actually said. “Who? Wait–”

“Humans! An army of them!” She cut me off. “The Watchers found us!”

Looking over my floors, I found that they were not prepared. While the Antigos might be able to ward off most threats, that felt so… underwhelming. It wasn’t artistic enough for me. I wanted the mortals to be willing to come back here. I had some of that in the form of the treasure apples and a unique theme for the first 8 floors, but if everything after the 8th floor was just blank stone filled with a single enemy type, nobody would ever go past that point unless they wanted to kill me.

“What are they doing?” I asked slowly, trying to grasp at loose thoughts to pull them into a single solution. “Or, rather, what would they normally do in a situation like this?”

Azrael thought for a moment, then responded, “They’ll probably set up a camp and throw a particularly strong group at us. If that fails, they’ll try to send a bunch of people in to look for a way to counter you.”

I nodded. “That works for me.” Then I turned my attention back to my floors, deciding to put off the additional Seam for now. Maybe I could–

“Ambrose!” Azrael cried out, “What are we going to do? Should we close everything off, tear down the stairs so they can’t get up here?”

My raised hand didn’t seem to placate her much, so I sighed and let her in on my plans. “I already removed the stairs. They’ll have to go through portals to get to the top.” Her eyes widened as she saw the portal in the room, having apparently not noticed yet. “As for completely closing everything down, I doubt that would stop them. This way, we have Occam’s Razor on our side.

“They’ll most likely attempt to go through the dungeon to reach us. That, or they’ll try to knock us over with magic. I’m going to make sure they can’t do that, and then I’m going to make sure that we’re as safe and defended as possible. Could you please go keep an eye on them? Let me know if they change what they’re doing, okay?”

She hesitated, but then nodded swiftly, running back up the stairs.

I alerted Drachma’Uban to the fact that he might need to devour some foes sooner than we’d previously expected, and he seemed a bit nervous, but there was something else, too. Excitement, maybe? Did he perhaps want to test himself against some worthy opponents?

Or was I just making things up because I wanted to imagine my dragon as a noble beast from legend? It was probably that last one. Anyways, I managed to get him into a portal to the copy of his lair. I also finally finished Stitching up that area of the Seam. I’d needed to apply a ton of Notches around it since the lazy guy hadn’t moved in the slightest, just lazing about on the floor.

I quickly removed all the portals that led from floor to floor, replacing them all with portals that would lead into the Seam. From there, I made more portals that would lead from one Seam to the next room in the actual dungeon, and eventually managed to make a twisty sort of stairway in paths. Connecting one place to its copy in the Seam was easy as pie, but going much further than that was actually rather difficult. Still, I managed to tie everything together nicely. After that, I completely wiped the first eight floors clean, resetting them back to blank stone.

Then I started hunting through my Domain, looking at every sort of material within it, paying attention to only one thing: durability. Eventually, I found something with the properties I wanted and immediately started Transmuting the outer layer of my tower into it, plating it in the solid metal. The energy strain was almost shocking for just Transmuting something like this, and I investigated the material while slowing down somewhat.

This appeared to be a sort of metal that was originally something called wolframite, but had been infused with a ridiculous amount of Necrosis, almost as if thousands of creatures had died on top of it. Oh, wait, that’s probably exactly what happened, what with how the Dead Belt had gained its notoriety. Anyways, it was called Conflict Tungsten, and the Necrosis inside of it was incredibly hostile, even to me, hence the rapid energy loss.

That was perfect for my purposes, though, since volatile Necrosis like this tended to consume other magics. I was less scared of physical attacks than I was of magic, since I understood it much less. Luckily, this would work against both.

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As I explained earlier to Azrael, in terms I now knew she probably hadn’t understood, the mortals would likely take the most direct route to killing us, and I just would just have to accept that bet. There was no way I’d be able to mount a significant enough defense in such a short amount of time without weakening my defenses and without spooking the humans. They were sure to have books, items, and materials, and I wanted all of it. Forcing them to retreat would mean losing out.

I had to make sure that the simplest way to kill me was by going through the dungeon, and not sending meteors or some other nasty siege spells down on top of it. With that in mind, I also formed a sloped roof on top of my tower, made entirely of Conflict Tungsten. Sure, it was unlikely that they had the exact spell I’d randomly thought up, but better safe than sorry.

I Molded the stone beneath my feet to bring me upwards, creating a hole in what had previously been the roof of the dungeon. On arrival, I turned to Azrael. “What do you see?” I demanded. Honestly, I had no idea how she was seeing further out than my Domain had spread, but she had, and thank goodness for that.

Azrael squinted out of the embrasures of the roof’s battlements, and shook her head. “They slowed down. I think they’re coming up on your Domain, though. They’ll probably stop just outside of it and set up camp, then send in a raid party to try to destroy this place in one go.”

Schnitzel. “Alright, keep me updated. Come and find me when they’ve set up camp, or when you see someone approaching.” She nodded, and I dropped back through the floor.

“Alright, let’s see what I can do.” I turned my attention to my Phylactery, pulling up the singular unresolved prompt, trying to find some path to salvation.

Please select a Specialization Advancement.

Spatial Archlich (Death+, Space)

Archlich of Space (Space+, Death)

Ancient Seeker (Forbidden Knowledge)

Death’s Custodian (Phantom)

Caretaker of Slumber (Burial)

Debt Collector (Death Pact)

Bearer of Nothingness (Abyss)

Witness of Azathoth (Eldritch)

Ergh. I just didn’t know enough right now! My Skills would all get reset to 0 if I advanced, and I would lose so many of my abilities and important Boons. I couldn’t right now.

Pulling myself away from the options, I turned back to my tower. Currently, it was made up of a bunch of different types of stone, some stronger and some weaker. I needed to fix that, else it might become a liability.

I got to work replacing the entire thing with quartz, which was one of the stronger types of stone I had available to me. It also looked really good, but that was just a side-benefit. I additionally reinforced it with beams of that Conflict Tungsten, embedding them solidly inside it.

As I was about to move on to trying to rapidly design a second floor type, Azrael rushed down the stairs with news. “They’re setting up camp just outside where your influence spreads. At least, I think so, I don’t know exactly how far it goes, and– ”

“Which direction?” I asked, cutting her off. The humans might not be making hostile movements yet, but I doubted that would hold true for long.

She pointed at one of the walls, and I sent my Omnipresence out to the edge of my Domain. Sure enough, not even a half mile out there was a camp of humans. They were scurrying around like mad, calling out orders.

One man in particular stood out, mostly because he was staring straight at me. Weird. The creep raised a hand, throwing out an orb of energy in my direction. It felt familiar, and I cut out the connection to that location when it was clear it was targeting me.

That had been the same type of energy that the tracking bindings had been made of. In other words, it was most likely some Soothen Skill. If he’d gotten me with that, what would it have been able to do? Probably more than just track me a little better. It was a good thing he hadn’t.

I got back to replacing my walls and floors with tougher materials, then looked at floors 9 through 16, or rather, the equivalent floors of my Seam, where the monsters were actually held. The real floors of my tower were more like rest stops at this point. I needed to build some stuff up to make a second area, and fast, but I didn’t know how much time I had or what theme I would even use. Eventually, I just pulled a ton of stone into the area and threw some Mold Terrain Wisps at the task, turning my own attention to the only untouched corpse within my dungeon.

Calling activated, and soon another wolf corpse joined the first. I kept culling more and more, then pulled them together, trying to make an alternative version of a creature I’d seen in a movie once. Teeth flew and extended, flesh warped, organs melted, and energy streamed, all in an attempt to make a new kind of monster.

The scientist in me had been turned mad by the stressors that had basically parked themselves right outside my front door, and he was completely ignoring all the typical, orderly practices that I would normally force myself to use. Typically, I’d lay all of the materials I’d be using out, and make sure I was careful with all of it to create the best creature I could. This time, I didn’t care. I needed a new monster, and I needed it yesterday.

Eventually, my Nailwolf was complete, and I stepped away to admire it amongst the gore that was flung across the room when it shook like a… Well, like a dog. It didn’t have fur, nor did it show any skin. Instead, this beast was covered in sharp, elongated claws. Its own paws looked like they held a set of knives, and its teeth had been shaped into something much more needle-like.

As for its size, it was only about twice the size of a normal wolf, with the exception of the head, where I’d only made it about half again its normal size. This made it look exceedingly disproportionate, which was simultaneously comical and terrifying, as it made it look like an especially feral dog that had hit the gym every day of its life. Of course, it was also covered in needles, so that was fun.

I considered adding it to my list of Named Creatures, but decided against it, since I wanted to keep those slots mostly for bosses and shock troops from now on. The Arachnomicons and Caerbalopes on there went a bit against that, though, and I briefly considered just removing them, but I didn’t want to remove the knowledge of how to make them from my brain quite yet. Sure, it wouldn’t be too hard to just remake them, but I just didn’t have the time yet.

Right then, Azrael came rushing down the stairs. Snickerdoodles.

“Some people just left the camp, Ambrose,” she warned, “One of them has golden wings.”

I stared at her. “Is that meant to be impressive?” Honestly, I could probably make myself wings if I wanted, but it was pointless and inefficient when I could just move the floor below me with Mold Terrain and literally carry myself wherever I wanted to go. I mean, I’d still have contact with the ground, but it was probably faster than normal flight.

She sighed and kneaded her forehead with her palms. “Ambrose, Clerics that only have their first specialization don’t get flight Skills.”

“Ah, got it. But wasn’t it pretty obvious that we were going to be solidly outclassed from the very start?” I’d sorta expected that they’d throw people above our own personal strength level at us. I mean, how else were they going to get past my mighty Drachma’Uban?

…He’s sleeping again. Wake up, you lazy dragon!

“Ambrose, I’m not sure you fully understand. You know how we both have 5 Skills each?” When I nodded, she continued, “Well, humans are a little different. They get actual Classes, whereas we just get Class Specializations. Our races are already considered Classes in and of themselves.

“Humans don’t start with all the Skills that we have, meaning that they’re weaker at the start, but level more quickly. However, they get a Skill every single level, regardless of how many they already have. That means that they slow down in levels faster, but the ones who are strong…” She looked at the wall, and I knew she was imagining how powerful those people might be.

I just waved a hand at her, as if to brush away her concerns. “Don’t worry about it, they’re just puny mortals. Uban’s been pretty bored anyways.”

Azrael squinted at me, then jabbed a finger in my face. “Okay, first of all, you shouldn’t underestimate them. They’ve wiped some huge threats off the face of the continent, and you are weaker than the lowest-level person in that party. Second, who’s Uban?”

Oh, right. They’d never been introduced. I sent a mental nudge to Uban, then Folded open reality, creating a rift to his location.

“Meet Drachma’Uban. As you can tell, he’s a pretty chonky boi.”

She stumbled back in shock, falling on her rump. Uban, on the other hand, poked his snoot into the portal, letting out a low grumble that scared Azrael even more. “Hello, friend of Father’s. It is good to meet you, though I must admit that Father’s memories were sufficient for me to understand who you are. I apologize for putting you at a disadvantage.”

Azrael was still completely shocked, but I squinted at the land dragon. He was talking much more eloquently than when he’d first woken up, almost like he was trying to impress her… Hmm.

“Alright Azrael, this is Uban, he’s the only monster on the 8th floor, though I’m sure you can understand why that is,” I explained, happy to explain boss monsters to her for the first time. “I’ll put something extra scary on every 8th floor like that. You understand my confidence now, right?”

She nodded slowly, still in awe. “Yeah… yeah.” She looked up at me. “Is he… a dragon?”

I nodded proudly. “He sure is! I mean, maybe he can’t fly, and doesn’t have a breath weapon, but I think he’s tanky enough to make up for it. Those scales of his have stone in them, and his muscles are hard enough that trying to cut him would probably just create sparks.”

“He’s, ah,” she stammered, “Very impressive, but not quite right.”

I frowned at her. I mean, sure, he didn’t look exactly like a dragon from popular games and movies, but how would she know that? “What, are you some kind of dragon expert now?”

She shook her head. “No, no, it’s just… Pretty hard to forget what one looks like when you’ve seen it in person.”

Huh. Azrael had encountered a dragon? Interesting. Too bad we didn’t have time to talk about it, what with the people walking into my dungeon. Well, one was flying, but tomayto tomahto, y’know?

“Whelp, action time, people!” I closed the portal to Uban just as he retracted his snout. “First dungeon run, take two!”