We had been encamped for four months already outside of Darkhallow and not much had changed. They would send out parties to harass - or even destroy, on two occasions - our traditional artillery, and we would launch large stone missiles at their walls. Our tower strategy was close to completion, though it had been delayed multiple times by enemy mages slinging their own artillery at the structure. Our mages had countered by reinforcing the entire structure with a grand working and getting back to work. It happened again about halfway up the cliff side, which resulted in a large portion of the tower falling into our courtyard and killing people. That was when Tika himself got together the mage corps and together they had launched a literal rain of artillery spells at their castle walls. Over two hundred spells had gone off over the course of an hour, and their mages were much quieter after the affair - probably exhausted from deflecting or nullifying so many spells.

Currently I was sitting in a tree wearing a mottled green cloak borrowed from the Green wardens I was patrolling with. There were six of us - counting me and a nature mage - and we were currently watching as a squad of enemy soldiers moved past beneath us. In the western region of our siege a large forest had grown over the years. It was too close to the castle walls for us to chop it down, and it provided our enemies with the advantage of cover that they could utilize with a cleverly hidden postern door. All four of our wardens had their bows out and were waiting. A friendly force had already been dispatched to counter their movement - courtesy of a mage message sent by our nature mage.

It happened rapidly and I was surprised even with the heads up our mage gave us. The soldiers beneath us were moving along stealthily, attempting to get to our artillery pits, when they came under fire. Our rangers used the opportunity to let loose with their own bows in the confusion, targeting the officers and sergeants leading the force. Our infantry charged into their disoriented lines and I dropped from my perch onto some unfortunate man who had hid under my tree. Since my sword led the way, he didn't survive the experience. I landed well and immediately caught a blade swung at my face with my cross guard, throwing my knife into the mans thigh with my other hand. He fell to the ground screaming and I mercilessly finished him off with a quick stab and twist.

Taking stock of the situation I watched as the nature mage rapidly aged a man - I had no other explanation as for why the formerly young soldier aged to about seventy years old with liver spots in the span of a few minutes - and the wardens had gone to work, felling enemies with very well placed arrows that always seemed to find eye-slits or gaps in armor. I saw a few of my friendly infantrymen being engaged by long-pikes and having trouble, so I one-man-charged into the line, bowling over one man and stabbing another under his armpit.

After that it became an all-out brawl with even the Wardens dropping from their perches and plying their deadly trade. I didn't have much time for gawking as I was engaged by two men at the same time and keeping the blade and mace away from my body took all my effort. Since I was wearing a light leather armor today, I definitely didn't want to take any hits and I couldn't let the sword strike me in order to neutralize the mace like I normally might in this instance. The three of us fought while I circled and kept the much shorter ranged mace-man constantly chasing to keep up as I circled away from him, trading blows with the swordsman. I saw my chance come as the mace wielder stumbled and I reversed direction suddenly, closing the gap between us in a short step and sliding my sword through his stomach. My blade got bound by something inside of him and I dropped the hilt without a second thought, drawing a short sword at my side and barely catching my remaining enemies blade before it took my head off.

Deflecting his blade and pushing into his guard served to offset his assault and he found himself desperately fending off strike after strike as I glued myself to his body. Punching, kicking, stabbing, and slashing I managed to push him back towards a warden. The warden glanced and noticed me herding a victim towards him and I could barely make out the grim smile that flashed under his hood. The warden flipped a throwing dagger into his hand and with expert precision, threw it in my general direction. The knife thudded into my enemies back and a gasp left his body as my short sword was buried a half second later up to the hilt in his heart. "Better luck in the next life," I said with a lifeless voice, yanking my blade out and turning to recover my other blade which was a short jog away.

I managed to recover my blade without much issue and I sprinted to rejoin the ongoing fight. Our enemies had managed to strengthen their defense of our assault and were beginning to give as good as they got. I smashed into their lines like a raging bull, batting aside a spear meant for my face and clobbering the bastard that wielded it. Striking left, right, and left again I alternated my blade with overhead strikes, widening the gap and allowing two wardens and an infantryman who had followed me to push through. We overwhelmed the center of their line and they began to falter. The moment they truly lose came when our nature mage rejoined the fight. Apparently he had been channeling a magic spell, and it went off with a thunderous clap as roots tore themselves out of the ground and started to stab, grab, and wrap our enemies.

The fight ended in a short slaughter, belying the effort it took for us to get to this point.

Congratulations, you have gathered enough experience. You are now level two!

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

Secluded Meadow, Zerial

The impetus for my ability to meditate came from a source that wasn't totally surprising to me. And it served as a convenient excuse to fend off the ever pestering Tika. No matter how hard I tried to school my thoughts like the mages did, I was never able to totally empty my mind. But after particularly tough battles, like the one we had fought yesterday, I found that I craved the quiet moments and sought them out frequently. Tika had apparently discovered my activity, and confronted me about it. He also actually believed me when I told him I was troubled by all the death and killing that I was doing, which is good since it was the truth. As a child I knew in the abstract that I would be killing others, but when actually faced with the reality of knighthood, I found I lacked the stomach for it. Which sucked, because I was apparently really good at it.

After I had managed to convince Tika that I was not a heretic, he left me alone in general terms as I sought to meditate and quiet my mind. After four months of battles and war, I had finally achieved a state of complete quiet in my mind. I observed myself as if from the third person, and I saw a white-and-blue flame in my body where my heart was. Apparently, this was the center of my being and my soul had nestled itself in my heart. In others I had read that their souls chose different organs and that it was apparently pretty random where the soul chose to live. This didn't concern me, as the dichotomy between the soul of my heart and the Knight order of the Heart had a great symmetry, even if performing my duty during war did trouble me greatly.

I didn't really know where to go from here, and so I found myself ruminating as I watched myself. I thought about my friends and family, and I thought about the war. Even though I was directing my thoughts, everything was muted and it was as if I felt and viewed everything from outside of my own body. It soothed my soul greatly to view everything without a direct emotional attachment to it all. I considered every action I had taken, and I seemed to relive my memories of combat. I saw the faces, viewed my actions, and watched all the men I had killed die once more. As each memory finished, I mumbled in the depths of meditation "I'm sorry," to each and every man I killed.

It started with my most recent kills and started to wind backwards in time as I viewed older, and older kills. Eventually I found myself standing across from the very first man I had ever killed, that knight from what felt like years ago but was actually just a few short months. I felt so old, positively ancient. He looked at me with accusatory eyes, hatred flaming in those windows of the soul, and I found myself choked up. I had killed the man, and my reasons were just. But that did nothing to halt the growth of the wound I felt in my soul at the necessity. I couldn't bring myself to say anything to the specter, and we just stared at each other for what felt like hours.

I opened my eyes, which had been closed for meditation, and felt both better and worse. I was able to let go of every person I had killed except for the last two. Ronald and Kessal. Kessal had not stuck around long, not like Ronald. I was unable to say anything to either of them in my soul-space, and I felt their presence lingering in my spirit as I watched the moon rise over the landscape in the distance. I felt sick, disturbed slightly. As if something major was wrong, and I knew that I would have to face them again and again in order to figure it out and finish letting go of what I was struggling with.

No more work would be done tonight, I thought. My mind felt exhausted, as if I had been awake for days. The entire ordeal had only taken me two hours of meditation. Despite my inner turmoil and my mental fatigue, my body felt relaxed. Rested even, and I stood easily from my meditation pose. I noticed Tika watching me from the distance, and I approached him.

"You seem troubled Zerial," his ancient voice called out when I got close enough.

"I am. I was successful in my meditation today, and I managed to achieve that quiet state we talked about... But I was haunted by all the men I have killed, particularly by the first two," I told him honestly. I didn't feel any need to hide that I was trying to come to terms with my actions, as that would reinforce what I told him anyways.

Tika sighed and said, "It's too bad you're not destined to be a mage, boy. That level of meditation - one where you can examine actions, memories, and feelings is something that scholars struggle to achieve. You skipped right past the opening steps and went right to a journeyman technique. It is a very useful tool that allows mages and scholars to stay centered within themselves. We utilize it to counter the effects of potential on our actions since channeling potential can alter a personality over time. I can see how it would be useful to a future sword master, knight, and duke of the realm. If you master the practice, you'll find that you're able to exist in this kind of state permanently, like I do.

It's vital for Arch magi to learn how to live in a meditative state, as Potential is constantly coursing through our bodies. I scrutinize every action, every decision I make every day. I have to constantly watch to make sure that I am acting as true to who I was when I began this journey," Tika considered me silently before continuing, "I believe it will be beneficial for you if you continue this practice. But I don't want you to tell anyone, and I don't want you to teach anyone how to do it. This is one of the major steps on the road to becoming a mage, and to reveal your practice of it would raise questions that would be near impossible for you to answer satisfactorily. The next time you meditate and find yourself facing Ronald and Kessal, don't try and force an interaction. Instead, focus on your soul and figure out what it is trying to tell you," Tika instructed me.

Considering his words and examining my memories of what had happened, I realized he was right. At some point during my meditations I had gone from observing and interacting in the third person to directly feeling and interacting in my own body. I was unable to properly view my soul and discover what it had to say about the issues. "Thank you, Master Scholar Tika," I said respectfully, and bowed low. He returned a low bow and together we walked back to the camp. I resolved I would go see my friends soon, it was a balm that my mind desperately needed.