For 186 years she had been in a near perpetual state of bafflement. The society - nay the world she found herself in was just blatantly insane—clearly the machinations of some bored Deity that got scared by the insanity of their own creation.

That surely had to be the only plausible reason. After all, what being in their right mind would make a species functionally immortal and give them NOTHING to do, landlock them onto one supercontinent, and go, ‘Yeah go have fun?' Assuredly a species such as her own could not be created by nature, and as such only an insane god could make an even more insane race.

CRACK! Looking down at her chair she frowned. That was the third chair that week. This time she wasn't even that angry, how curious... Letting out a sigh, Lady Elmyra Grefaren Lusserina Sarren Phaerille Magcan, otherwise known as Lady Elmyra finally turned her gaze to her subordinate who had a crazy look in his eyes. The smooth and butter-like voice of Elven Nobility was at this moment exhausted, “What do you mean there’s a crack in the sky.”

In response the man practically shivered in deli- no, he actually was. ‘Fuck me. Every day they get worse.’ “Well, I mean what I mean mam! There’s a huge crack in the sky, and it’s getting bigger!”

“Aah. I thought I misheard you again. Because surely there isn’t a gigantic crack in the sky that would make my life more difficult, right?” The glassy-eyed look in his eyes told her all she needed to know. ‘Fuck.’ Standing up from her chair she ignored the nearly catatonic from glee guard and stepped out of her office and into the hallway of her manor. Her mind distantly noted both of her shadows taking up guard behind her, but she was focused on more important things. “They’re going to be even more insufferable, aren’t they?”

The only response she got was a muffled giggle from one of her twin shadows - she wasn’t quite sure which one. Letting out another sigh she finally stepped out of her manor. Truly, there was only one thing to say as Lady Elmyra stared into the sky, “Fuck.” For indeed, the entire sky was split in two and a gigantic ominous crack in the sky that if she squinted, she could vaguely see something spilling out of.

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For a moment the only thing she could do was stare before realization hit her. ‘That’s going to be Magic or Ki isn’t it?’ Rubbing the bridge of her nose she let out a final sigh and only barely resisted to sigh AGAIN as another giggle escaped from behind her. “Alright, you two. Meditation is a part of the schedule again for everyone. I want you to coordinate all of the guards, telling them to be on alert. Tell the rest of the people to keep their weapons close, and expect anything from other Barons armies, too a horde of purple tentacled brain eaters.”

A moment after saying that a swish of wind passed her as two blurs darted off towards the town to follow her commands. “At least I have two subordinates that aren’t that crazy.”

“Ahem. Mam.” A perfectly cultured masculine voice, servile, yet adamant sounded out behind her. Glancing back she noted with a sense of dread that her maniacal butler would have somehow been dressed like Alfred Pennyworth, except for the fact that his suit jacket was a crimson red, his hair was a vibrant blue, and his face was covered in fresh blood. Worst of all, the look he was giving her was a mix of a wounded puppy and an angry cat.

“I stand by what I said Vesryn.” The pout the nearly two-thousand-year-old Elf gave her was positively horrifying. Although, admittedly, it was partly why she kept him around after all. He kept the riffraff out just by greeting them.

Not able to hide the exasperation in her voice she commanded him, “Just… go deal with whatever comes out of the portal, or torture puppies. Whatever you usually do. Which is certainly not cleaning the manor. I had to hire something to clean it AGAIN.” The maniacal look that came over his face caused her to question her life for nearly the 30th time in the past hour.

Turning back around and ignoring the strange cackling noises that were swiftly going further and further away from her, she just stared at the deep crack in the sky and pondered what changes it would bring upon her barony, and the world around her.

Well, at least her crazy, but relatively boring life would be at least a bit more interesting. What’s the worst that could happen?