Chapter 4: Penellope

Pip drove around her block for the third time, eyeing the silver Toyota Corolla in her driveway as she passed her house. Her car slowed down for a moment as she glanced to the side, and then she sped up and turned into one of the side streets. She pulled her car over next to a park, turned the keys backwards and cut off the engine. Everything was quiet.

Pip let out a deep breath. The sky was overcast, and there was a cool nip in the air that leaked in through the slightly open window. Pip looked out at the yellow grass that rustled about with the wind that blew through the park. The cold weather didn’t seem to keep three children from playing in the playground in the middle of the open space. They laughed and smiled, seemingly without a care in the world. She wished she was like them.

Pip took another deep breath and brushed the pockets of her trousers, feeling the outline of her phone beneath the line of black fabric. She’d turned it to silent, and muted his messages, hoping to cut out his presence completely. But something emanated from that small device. Just the thought that he was probably messaging her was making her anxious. Pip hadn’t planned anything with him for tonight; but an unannounced arrival was almost a regular, and even expected occurrence these days. Giving him a set of keys to her house had been a huge mistake.

Pip pulled her phone out of her pocket and looked down at the small device in her hand – wondering why she was so afraid to simply turn it on and check his messages. She’d tell him that she had been held up at work, that she had a book club meeting, dinner with her parents. Anything would do. But as much as she tried to convince herself otherwise – Pip knew that there was no way he would take it nicely. After minutes of staring at the blank screen, she switched it on. Nothing. Of course there was nothing. She’d turned his messages to silent. She worked up her courage and then flicked through her contacts until she came to his name. Pip opened his messages. There were twelve unread messages and ten missed phone calls. Her heart sunk deeper the more she read.

Where are you?

Shouldn’t you have finished work by now?

Why aren’t you replying?

You’re such a crappy girlfriend.

I’ve been waiting for a whole bloody hour now.

Thought I’d surprise you by popping over. But you’re starting to ruin it.

Are you going to reply, or not?!

I don’t even know why I bother!

You know there are plenty of girls out there who are much prettier and smarter than you are. I could have any one of them if I wanted, so stop taking me for granted.

I don’t know why I stay with you when you treat me so badly.

I do so much for you. You wouldn’t get by without me.

For goodness sake. It’s been two hours already.

And on and on they went. She switched her phone off and threw it down onto the passenger seat as a small tear slid down her cheek. Pip looked back over at the children playing in the park. Oh, how carefree their lives are. How innocent they look.

Her boyfriend hadn’t always been this way. When the two of them had first met, he had been extremely charming. He was at a bar, dressed in a nice suit, with a neat haircut, a clean-cut beard and a beautiful smell about him.

It had been a Saturday night; and Pip was out with a few of her friends, Sally and Mia, for a girl’s night out. They loved to dress up nicely and put on lots of makeup. Pip had spent hours doing her hair, she wore a beautiful red dress and had painted her nails a lovely sky blue to match her eyes. They started with dinner. Sally had booked a table at a really nice Spanish restaurant, for some tapas. They shared several plates of olives, tomatoes, bread, and different kinds of cured meats. After eating, and sipping on a few drinks, the three of them decided to go to a bar in the city for a few more drinks and a dance. Pip didn’t really like dancing too much, especially as she was wearing high heels, but she had been happy to go wherever the group went. They found a cozy little jazz bar, that was dimly lit, busy, but not too crowded with soft music that was easy to dance to, but not so loud that they couldn’t have a conversation at the bar. Sally ordered three expresso martinis, and they found a few seats off to the side of the bar where they began to giggle and gossip about their workplace. Pip couldn’t help but notice a guy at the bar give her a side glance. He wore a suit, had sandy blonde hair and hung around with three other guys. He stood upright, with his chest puffed out, and for the brief moment they made eye contact, he gave her a charming smile. The guy oozed confidence.

‘Common girls, let’s go dance!’ Sally said.

‘Can’t. I’m in high heels. But you two have fun. I think I’ll order another drink.’

‘Okay. We’ll come back and join you for another drink after the band finishes the set. Don’t get into too much trouble while we’re gone,’ Sally ginned at her, and then looked at the guy who had made eye contact with her earlier.

He’s handsome, Sally mouthed, and then walked off with Mia.

Pip signalled for the bartender’s attention; and then ordered another drink. It took the bartender a minute to make the drink, and after mixing, stirring and pouring the liquor, the bartender handed her a wide glass full dark brown liquid. Pip unzipped her handbag and pulled her bank card out from her wallet, but before she was able to tap it against the EFTPOS machine to pay for the drink, someone approached her from the side.

‘Do you mind if I get that?’

She wasn’t even able to open her mouth to answer, to protest, before a hand flicked up and pressed a card to the card reader. There was a light beeping noise as the payment was processed and then the bartender turned and moved away to serve another customer. Pip turned to the side to face the stranger who had just paid for her drink. It was the sandy-blonde haired man who had made eye contact with her earlier. He was handsome, just as Sally had said, but he was even more handsome up close. His light skin was smooth, without even a single blemish, his hair was thick and wavy, and his teeth were as white as snow. In hindsight, Pip would have loved to have said that there was something off about him in that moment, that she sensed something cold, and that something wasn’t quite right – but the truth was – this man had captivated her. That warmth, the smile, the gentle gestures, it was all fake. She knew that now, she just hadn’t caught on in the moment.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

‘I can’t help noticing that your friends have gone to dance and left you alone, and well, unfortunately, I’m in the same boat. I thought maybe we could keep each other company.’

Pip smiled.

‘You don’t need to buy me a drink to keep me company,’ Pip said and gestured for him to take a seat next to her.

‘I’m sure a girl as pretty as yourself is used to guys buying her drinks?’

The man sat on the stool and edged close to Pip, anticipating an answer.

‘Less than you might think.’

‘Well, does this beautiful girl have an equally beautiful name?’

‘Yes. She does. Penellope.’

‘I’m Jason. Pleased to meet you.’

Jason held her hand out to her, and Pip took it. But he held her hand softly and gently, barely shaking it.

The Jazz band took a small break after some time. But Mia and Sally, unbeknownst to Pip, found another seat in a dimly lit corner of the bar. The seat they found was close enough that they could spy on Pip, and gossip, but not so close that they would interrupt them.

Pip and Jason talked for over an hour – or rather, Jason talked for an hour. He talked about business and politics, and a lot of stuff that Pip didn’t really understand, but he sounded smart. Eventually, though, Pip decided it was late and that she should find her friends and leave.

‘I can take you home…if you like?’ Jason had suggested.

‘No, it’s really okay. I live with my friends, so it’s better that we all go home together,’ Pip replied.

‘Well, can I at least have your number?’

Pip had almost been inclined to say no, or at least to give him a fake number. As smart and as flashy as he was, Pip thought he was frankly quite a boring person to be around. It is true, he had captivated her early, and he was generous, but he had also drowned her with endless uninteresting conversation for an hour. But she knew what Sally would have said. ‘You should at least give it a shot.’ And so that’s what she did.

Things between them had been nice for the first two months; he hadn’t gotten any more interesting, but Pip had gotten used to it. But soon the warning signs began to show themselves. There were sly comments, like: ‘why don’t you start going to the gym. You could do to lose some weight,’ or ‘I don’t think you’re as pretty as she is.’ At the time, Pip thought that maybe he was just in a bad mood, after a long day at work – as these comments became more frequent, she thought that maybe it was all true.

Things only got worse from there. He was nice to her friends when they were around, but as soon as it was just the two of them, he would waffle on about how annoying they were.

‘Sally just doesn’t stop talking. Does she? And Mia’s voice drives me crazy!’

It was true, Sally could talk a lot, but she was the most supportive friend that Pip had. And Mia did have a slightly nasal tone to her voice, but she was caring and kind-hearted. At the time, Pip couldn’t see what his problem was. Of all his derogatory comments, the ones he made about her friends were the only ones she was confident were not true.

After they had been together for three months, he began turning up to her house unannounced. It was odd, he seemed to know what days her housemates would be out, and it was as though he purposely chose those times to come around. And he knew that it was her time, or at least, she felt as though she had expressed as much. It was her time to be alone, it was her time to relax, her time to switch off from the world. She had protested the first time it happened, but he responded unkindly, accusing her in a passive aggressive way that she didn’t appreciate him enough. She remembered feeling guilty and a little uncomfortable, but she just let it go, telling him to stay and just hoping that it would be a one-time thing. But she couldn’t have been more wrong.

The visits become more and more regular. And Jason seemed to be getting more and more aggressive and demanding as time passed. He was still charming when he wanted to be, but he often changed when other people weren’t around.

She didn’t often push back against what he said; she had gotten used to being passive around him. But one afternoon, when they were in Pip’s kitchen eating an early dinner, she spoke out against him.

‘Your friends don’t like me. I know they don’t want us to be together – and to be honest I’m getting sick of them. You know what I think? I think we should move in together. Get out of this place; get some new friends. We don’t need them anyway.’

She’d known this would come. This suggestion. He’d been pushing her boundaries for quite some time. So far Pip had gotten away with simply kissing him. But she’d resisted. She’d been like an iron wall. If they moved in together, though, she wouldn’t be able to hold out against him for much longer. She had no doubt this was his way of barging through the iron wall.

‘Yes, my friends aren’t perfect. But nobody is. Not even you. I don’t know what your problem is.’

‘What?! Do you think I don’t know what’s best for you!’ Then he grabbed a glass from the kitchen bench and threw it against the wall. It smashed and exploded into a million tiny shards of glass; and that was when Pip realised, she was afraid to be around this man. Of course he apologised later. And he made it sound genuine. But Pip knew that his behaviour would continue. And it did.

Finally, the clouds gave in, and light drops of rain began sprinkling down upon the windscreen of her car. They had been seeing each other for five months now. She wanted to break up with him, but she didn’t know how. She had tried suggesting a few times that they take some time apart, some time to reset – but it had only resulted in him breaking down in tears. Although she knew what he was like, something about the way he acted still made her feel guilty, and feel unsure of herself. Yet nothing did change.

Suddenly something interrupted her thoughts. Something made her forget him completely. A memory from work only two days ago, a small moment, a short lift ride down to the second floor of her building to meet up with her friend Mia so that they could catch the train home together. She hadn’t really stopped thinking about it since it had happened. She’d met a boy in the lift. He had been shy and unconfident. In an oddly attractive kind of way. But what struck her the most was how kindly he had looked at her. Not like she was a thing to be had, a prize to be won and paraded around, or a piece of meat. But like she was someone. In that moment, when he had looked at her, it was the first time she knew for certain that the comments that Jason made about her were not true, the first time that she was confident about herself and thinking about it only invigorated her. She had left him with her favourite book, on purpose, hoping he would find her to return it. Hoping that maybe they could talk again, for a little longer the second time. She felt the depression washing away from her at the thought seeing him one more time. Suddenly Pip picked up her phone and opened Jason’s messages.

I’m not going to be home tonight. You’ll have to find somewhere else to go, or something else to do.

She wrote the message and sent it straight away. Then she started her car, and drove down to the shops. She got some Chinese takeaway and then made her way out to a suburb on the outskirts of Melbourne. A narrow road ascended a hill and led to a small seating area that overlooked Melbourne and the city skyline. It was a fairly unknown spot, and so she was the only one there. As the sun was starting to set, the rain stopped, and the clouds parted to give way to the bright orange sky. The city lights, one by one, were beginning to turn on and flicker in front of her. It was a spot that her father had taken her to countless times growing up. It was a place where she could be alone with her thoughts and relax. Tomorrow she thought she’d talk to Sally. Tell her everything. And then she’d take back the set of keys she’d given to Jason and well, after that, she would end it. She watched and ate as the sun sank below the horizon and the city began to light up, as did her mood.