Date and time- 4/15/20XX 11:00AM
"Hello~ and welcome to my horrible retelling of my unfortunate death,
right now I'm a ghost stuck in purgatory and slowly going crazy so pardon my language when I say
I AM ABSOLUTELTY FUCKING LIVID THAT I GOT BURNED ALIVE IN MY OWN APARTMENT."
...
...
...
"Sorry about that, I was venting and it isn't fair to be angry at you for not knowing what happened, so to make a long story short, my name is John Warkson, weird name
I know and I worked at my local comic book store and was a massive anime geek, so I'm aware of the isekais and most of the tropes that come with it.
I feel however that it's only appropriate to do this with a ~FLASHBACK~"
Date and Time- 2/21/20XX 7:30PM
"Damn, my back's killing me" a young man with brown hair, grey eyes, and a moderate build states says.
|Hey, that's me|
{Oh shut it you, let the flashback continue without interrupting!}
|Meanie...|
"HA, not my fault you slept on the couch after watching anime all night again John." My friend Alex who is around 5'6" and just overall looks like a dwarf in modern times.
"Haha funny, anyways can you help me carry these boxes, they're pretty heavy and I want to go home to get some proper sleep, Alex."
"Sure, ready for the new season to come out tomorrow though? I heard the CGI got a lot better and the story's gonna have a lot more action in it then last season's
city building."
Before I could reply however the boss came in and told us our shift was over and since the store was so busy today and we worked our asses off keeping everything smooth
we would get a bonus next paycheck. We proceeded to fist bump, get finished for the day and had a short walk to our shared apartment.
-1 Hour later
After Alex and I got to our apartment and we settled in for the night, well, I got settled in, Alex was playing some games to pass the time before going to sleep himself.
|Why couldn't he just l**et me sleep in peace? I wanted to sleep and he wanted to play games! So mean.|
{WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SHUT UP?! I'M TRYING TO LISTEN/TELL THE STORY}
|We're the same person, so why is it that I'm the one getting yelled at?|
{Because I'm the sane but annoyed and angry side and you're the calmer but funnier/crazier side! Now be quiet so we can continue the story for the audience.}
|hm, fair|
As I droned out Alex's game and raged out screaming comments, I was able to finally sleep...for about 5 min. as a large explosion rocked the building.
Waking up with a start I hurriedly put my jacket on and walked out of the apartment room with Alex in tow, said person had his beard covered in soda and popcorn but I had priorities...yep, pretty obvious priorities.
As we were walking to the staircase we noticed that the building was shaking violently and we began to hurry at a rather rapid pace, only for a rapidly climbing inferno to stop us in our tracks...while we were still on the stairs.
|That one was very painful, VERY painful|
{Can't argue on that one, but may I recommend SHUTTING THE FUCK UP}
|Fine, ok, geez!|
The two of us were then on fire and began to do what I call the "Fire dance" and
I fell off the stairs first shortly followed by Alex where we fell and broke several bones.
We both were on the ground unable to move, on fire, next to each other, I don't think either of us felt the pain anymore as we decided to do something very childish but something dear to our hearts, we begun to sing "I'm a Goofer Goober yeah".(trademarked by nickelodeon, please watch the first SpongeBob movie
|the good one|
{agreed})
Apparently, both the police and fire fighters heard this and as they found us, they were too late and we had already perished but we would be nicknamed "SpongeBob and Patrick" by the news.
Date and Time- 4/15/20XX 11:15AM
"Now you know my story, I still wonder what happened to my friend Alex though, hopefully we're still anime weeb friends in the next life, if there is one.
Regardless, I'm still bored as hell, by the way, the voices during the story is a sign I now have split personality disorder."
|No you don't|
{Oh shut up you, we do have SPD, and no, I don't exist to purely be his opposite}
...
...
...
"Ok"
As the trio of one stopped their continuous arguing with one another a blue light shines itself in the empty void that John reluctantly calls "home", or whatever equivalent it is for him
John, in his excitement at seeing something new, and most importantly -different- from what he was used to for the last 2 months, he ran, or rather floated to the bright and blue light that shown in this empty abyss that is purgatory.
The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
When John made contact with the light, he was immediately in front of two individuals, one who he quickly recognized as Alex, as they both saw each other they ran to each other and hugged one another as both were in the same situation without either knowing if the other went through the same thing but looking into each others eyes was all they needed to know both experienced the same hell.
Both were crying tears of joy as they finally saw someone and it just happened to be their best friend, when someone coughed catching the men's attention where they saw...something similar to an H.P. Lovecraftian monster.
The creature in question had no legs, replaced with a innumerable amount of tentacles that were spread out like roots and ended to a multitude of differently colored orbs that gave off various "auras" some good, some bad.
The Torso and arms looked normal with the exceptions being a pair of blue wings with golden accents and on the arms were several runes and a western style dragon on his? her? It's right arm and a hydra looking creature in the left arm, with all the tattoos being brown.
This thing's "head" was a biblically accurate representation of an angel, a pair of golden rings with over a dozen eyes on said rings with the only exception being the lack of wings, which the duo guessed were moved to it's back.
"Hello, I see that you two know each other, that will make things easier, first of all, the two of you are indeed dead and no, I am not permitted to revive either of you in your original world, instead, I am to bring you into a world that is under my jurisdiction.
I am indeed an angel and not a demon or eldritch abomination, though you may see such creatures in your new world, regardless, you will be, I believe you call it "reincarnated" or "isekai" and given new bodies.
Finally, yes, you will be given unique skills, and a status screen, be aware however that said screen will NOT boost you but rather just show your current status in a way that is easier to understand, also, your unique skills, while powerful, are not "OP" and while they are to serve to further the already established fate of the world, will not influence you and is in fact recommended to do what you feel is best as that -IS- the fate of the world, in a sense."
...
...
...
"wha-"
"Don't worry, everything I said will be in a message when you reach your new bodies, which is now prepared, oh, and don't worry, I have ensured that the two of you will be together in this new world. Any Questions?"
"what skills do we have?" said Alex who is very nervous and not very happy about this entire ordeal as he holds the bridge of his nose
"While I am unable to tell you most of them, I can tell you that you will at least have an appraisal skill that has all the knowledge that the world has so you shouldn't have problems but i do recommend to not rely on skills as they may hinder you. Regretfully, this is all I can tell you at the moment as I have thousands more people to have cross into different worlds, good luck."
As the man said this the two felt a sense of weightlessness as they were pulled into an orb and prior to entering said orb they saw a message, 'may your journey be filled with both misery and more importantly happiness, from your administrator Alch'a-Vil'
Date and Time 4/15/11:00AM
"...may these two men, who most likely not even knew that by doing this would save lives, sung a song that lured both savior and those who needed to be saved in the same area. May their sacrifices whether it be from them knowing this or not, never be forgotten and with the smiles on their faces showing they passed on without pain, may there life in the unknown be filled with bliss.
May we have a moment of silence for the dead?
...
Thank you, now may those that wish to say goodbye do so now, so we may bury these two heroes and let them rest in the peace they have undoubtedly earned."
After several minutes where Alex's family and John's older sister grieved, the survivors of the apartment that was destroyed when the gas heater and several of the gas stoves on the first floor blew up due to the owner's attempt at insurance fraud, went and thanked the two men who began to sing and had created a pseudo-beacon for the fire-fighters and the occupants who couldn't get out easily to head towards, thanks to the very explosion that knocked John and Alex onto the ground and burned them, it had made a large gaping hole that they then used to save everyone.
The problem was that the very two men who led the firefighters to the endangered were under rubble so a hard choice was made and as the fire slowly died out, so too did the singing, and when the men found John and Alex, they were nothing more than black husks that somehow showed the smiles the men still had when they were being idiots, one last time.