It's not every day you wake up in a cocoon of mud and leaves, in a body made of dirt. Yet here I am, in the middle of a forest, with a hangover, and an unbelievable situation.

Unfortunately, it is a Tuesday; I did not drink yesterday. Therefore, I should not be having a hangover, nor should I be waking up in the middle of a park. Clearly, something has gone terribly, horrendously, wrong. I'd try pinching myself, but my hands are currently underneath several inches of mud.

Alright, current objective; find out what is going on. Step number one is to get out of this cocoon. Luckily, the mud has slid down to my shoulders, granting me the ability to shake around. After doing a mini hokey pokey, I manage to get an arm out.

I... don't think I can call it an arm. No, it is a dirt log as thick as my head. And this hand looks like it can crush a coconut! Worst of all, I can feel through it. This isn't just a thick layer of dirt around my arms, they are my arms!

After spending an indeterminate amount of time trying to scream with no mouth (that added a few extra minutes), I took advantage of my freed limbs to dig away at the rest of the cocoon. By the time I managed to free my legs, the mud had dried out enough to crack and crumble.

Now that I was freed of my prison, I spent some time reviewing my current situation. I am in the middle of nowhere, with a body made of dirt, and about half the day left. First up on the list of things to do is find water, then shelter, then food. At least, that would be the case if not for the fact that I don't have a mouth. I will take that as a sign that I don't need to eat or drink. And shelter only counts if the environment would damage this body.

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Next step to survive(?) is to get my bearings. Since I don't have a compass or anything, I shall declare that the sunset direction is south, sunrise is north, and east west are to the right left. I know that's wrong, but I don't have the patience to try to remember how to orient myself. To the north, there is a mountain that looks like volcano, but with more greenery than I'd expect on an active volcano. To the south, forest with what looks to be birch trees and some darker wood that I don't know the name of. To the east, more forest but slightly sparser. Finally, to the west, is grass, shrubs, and more grass.

Since I don't need food or water, I'll try climbing up the mountain. It'll both give me a better view of my surroundings, and help find any potential shelter, should I need it. Based off of the angle, I don't think it's that tall of a mountain, something that I can climb in a day probably, assuming there's a path up.

New goal set, I start my hike. Surprisingly, the mountain was a lot closer than I thought. And a lot shorter. It was more like a hill than a mountain. What's the difference even? I managed to reach somewhere near the top before sunset. From here, I can get a clearer view of my surroundings.

To the south, where the sun was starting to set, was the birch forest. Turns out the forest continued east around the hill. To the west was a comparatively barren area of mostly grass. I also learned something that would both complicate and simplify things. I'm on an island. Beyond the forest, grasslands, and hill, was just water, for as far as I can see.

There was also two concerning things that I could now see from up here. First was a large cluster of dark clouds to the north; luckily it was moving away from the island.

The second was a much larger cluster of darker clouds. It was approaching. I do not see any shelter.