Small aside, Dreamers, can we talk about the moon for a bit? It’s been a lovely companion every night and a moon-viewing party is always a great excuse to get drunk, but… it’s weird, you know you know?

I mean, it’s just there. Watching over us. I very much like it, don’t get me wrong, but it’s really just always there. Sometimes it’s just a black empty night up there, but I assume that it’s taking its break off on those days. I assume. I truly hope it’s taking a break.

We all need breaks. Please take a break, moon. I want to go to an outdoor onsen sometime without feeling like an exhibitionist.

It’s kind of freaky when you think about it. This huge piece of rock, just floating around us in orbit, is always present. Some people say that it crashed into the Earth millions and billions and trillions of years ago. These people are strange. And possibly, most definitely, maybe, perhaps, actually just wrong about it. It is, in fact, merely another land that we cannot visit just yet.

Actually, these two things are not mutually exclusive, so they might be right about that actually.

Do you think there’s something living on it? In the Outside World, they apparently loaded people up on a rocket and got people up there and back and they found nothing. These are the people who say that the moon crashed into the Earth all long ago, so I’d take that with a grain of salt. Or a pinch. Or a handful.

Anyways, the moon. It’s big, it’s up there, and sometimes it’s missing out of sight. But it’s always watching us and we all know it. This does not scream trustworthiness, but this is Gensokyo! What’s a few eccentricities between neighbors? Trust begins with faith and faith is what keeps Gensokyo alive.

But make sure to not be blind. Trust with suspicion. Smile at the moon as you walk out from view to do what must be unseen. Wash your hands after, clean yourself, and make sure everything is pure before you step back out again under its watching gaze.

Trust the moon with suspicion.

But trust it. It’s our neighbor!

Dreamers, it appears that a local rainstorm has enveloped the Scarlet Devil Mansion, discouraging any and all housewarming gifts. While it is a bit rude to make it harder for visitors to come with gifts. It’s very understandable. They’re just shy about being the new faces in town.

I suggest bringing gifts over anyways! For those brave enough to do it! Reimu Hakurei, you know, the miko? Is already en route and helping carry the tired Mistress of the Mansion, Remilia Scarlet. Aren’t they cute?

Hm? What’s this?

…Daiyousei has just informed me that Luna Child, Fairy of Silent Moonlight, has been crushed in a… Hm… Metaphorically literal sense. She was reading one of Patchouli Knowledge’s grimoires in the mansion’s library and was suddenly and irrevocably popped according to witnesses on the scene.

I do not know what metaphorically literal means in this case, but that seems disturbing. I’ll have to ask Luna Child how it felt later.

Oh? That’s not a polite thing to ask? Good to know. Thank you, Daiyousei.

Today’s lesson. Do not ask someone about how they died. It may be traumatizing. To who? Who knows. Not you, hopefully.

Anyways, it seems like this is an incident that I am more than happy to leave in the capable hands of our local Miko! If you enjoy existence without the threat of spontaneous cessation, please consider donating to the Hakurei Shrine.

Marisa Kirisame, who owes Mima a visit, is also en route to investigate the stormy mansion.

Daily Danmaku Design Tip.

Pick a theme and stick to it. What theme? Something important to you, I guess. I wouldn’t presume to suggest a theme for you. I am not you. You should not be me. Do not be me. Be you.

Or be devoured.

Try looking at graphs. We suggest trigonometric based designs. Circles and triangles with round and pointy sides. Lose yourself in the madness of numbers. Hope that helps.

Failing that, flowers have good patterns in them. Nature has designed many good patterns to copy for Danmaku.

Do not TOUCH the flowers. Merely look, perhaps smell, but do not TOUCH the flowers.

We understand that it is difficult to create Danmaku if you are a human that is not a miko nor Marisa Kirisame, who owes Cirno a dozen frogs, to create Spellcards, we suggest that you get in the habit of practicing the art of dodging. Also learning how to create Spellcards, but dodging comes first.

Remember, Danmaku is not about defeating your opponent. Well, it is, but it is mostly about being better than your opponent. Which involves much dodging.

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In the Hieda Mansion, a purple haired girl found herself unexpectedly holding court in her family’s garden. Sitting comfortably on a pillow and having ready access to tea and snacks, the girl still couldn’t help but shift uncomfortably in her red hakama and playing with the edges of the yellow sleeves that extended from her green vest.

The girl couldn’t help but wonder what Danmaku was. It was such a strange thing to focus on from the stranger broadcast, but… it seemed important. Didn’t the Miko and the Witch talk about it from time to time? The broadcast had an odd sort of whimsy, meandering from topic to topic, but from time to time, it said something that seemed innate to Gensokyo. Danmaku was one such thing and she wanted to investigate.

Unfortunately for Hieda no Akyuu, the 9th Child of Mamire, was having a very strange day and didn’t really have the luxury of idle wondering. She really hoped that today wouldn’t set the tone for her week. Or the coming months. Or lives.

Her usual duties were to record the happenings of Gensokyo. Perhaps, if she had time, she would also go over her family’s finances and help with some trade deals. One of her duties was NOT to become a strange type of supernatural diplomat

Hieda no Akyuu, AKA Memory of Gensokyo, was blessed with perfect memory and in all nine of her lives, she could not recall one where she had to sit through, oversee, and negotiate disputes between yokai and humans. She really, really, really hoped that being a… ‘yokai diplomat’ wouldn’t become one of her duties to Gensokyo.

...She had the sinking feeling that it would though.

If she was an optimist, which she wasn’t, Hieda no Akyuu would say that it had been surprisingly easy. As the realist that she was, she was getting retroactively annoyed at all the previous Yokai incidents.

The more discussions she oversaw, the more she was coming to the uncomfortable realization that yokai, just like humans, were idiots.

Oh yes, their needs were alien, their desires stranger, but their methods? Their actions? So very human. This one wanted food, so it stole it. This one didn’t want humans around, so they attacked them. Perhaps they were more violent, definitely more powerful, but simply put, Yokai just had more esoteric abilities and, at their core, simply wanted things. If an easier way was offered to obtain it, they would take that easier path in a heartbeat. Or whatever measurement of life they had.

Some yokai were just monsters who wanted to hurt; that was absolutely true. Hieda no Akyuu knew that and had ordered several exterminations in the past, but… Hieda no Akyuu had lived many lives and knew that wasn’t something unique to yokai. Humans did it too and were worse in some ways.

...In her lonelier moments, she wondered if yokai didn’t learn that bit of monstrous glee from humans. THat was only in her lonelier moments. In her experience, most times though, people, and she was including yokai in that category now, were idiots.

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Case in point, and case that she was currently overseeing, it was something as mundane as a noise complaint between some rich merchant and a one eyed wolf yokai.

Hieda no Akyuu couldn’t be bothered to remember their names (A lie, she was cursed to have perfect recall, but pettiness was how she coped with Gensokyo’s nonsense) and had labeled them Urusai and Sad Puppy.

Urusai was some merchant of something and had come from a long and extinguished samurai family who retired when so and so died on duty. It was all very dramatic and Akyuu could feel herself getting exhausted remembering it all. He was dressed quite formally, in a formal black montsuki. He had attempted to comb over his hair, but Hieda no Akyuu could still see the bald patch. He had hauled in Sad Puppy by a leash and would not stop boasting about his ‘conquest’ between complaining about the yokai. From the way he told it, he single handedly caught the yokai but the yokai was so dangerous that he needed a whole team to help him. His story was long-winded and stupid, but he never seemed to stop recounting it, so Akyuu had nicknamed him Urusai in the hopes that he would, eventually, shut up.

He would also not stop complaining about the leash being cut off. Akyuu had to bite her tongue to stop from rolling her eyes on that issue. Yokai were to be feared, or at the very least, treated cautiously, but one should not disrespect thm. Leashing and then boasting about capturing a yokai was just asking for said yokai to rip your throat off and make a scarf out of your entrails. That was, unfortunately, something Akyuu could never unsee-- memories heldover from a particularly bloodier time in the Sengoku Era. Perfect Memory truly was a curse sometimes.

Besides, Sad Puppy was a young yokai, and therefore, extra stupid in Akyuu’s experience. The rule of thumb for yokai was the older and/or more powerful they were, the more humanoid they look. Even if there were wings, tails, or ears, that was more of a personal thing. Seeing as Sad Puppy still had a snout and furry limbs Hieda no Akyuu could only find its attempts to puff itself up as adorable and a bit sad. The leash had just made it even sadder. Hence Sad Puppy.

Both sides had been seated in front of her on pillowed seats. Guads were watching, ostensibly to make sure nothing broke out between the clients, but mostly to protect her. There had been several previous cases where one of the clients was not satisfied with her judgement and tried attacking her. Surprisingly, many of them were humans.

Clearing her throat, Hieda no Akyuu began, “The case is now open. Will the plaintiff voice their--

“This youkai keeps on howling every winter,” Urusai cut in imperiously, “I’m tired of it! I want it exterminated, but my child whined at me to bring this discussion to you.”

Keeping her face carefully blank, Hieda no Akyuu did not snap, “The plaintiff has spoken. The defendant will now--”

“Surely, this is an open and shut case!”

“The defendant will now speak,” Akyuu did not roll her eyes and continued. Looking to Urusai, she stared blankly, drawing on all her lifetimes of interacting with Yukari Yakumo to gaze with the sheerest apathy she could muster, “I am the one overseeing this dispute and I will hear all sides.”

Amidst Urusai’s grumbles, Sad Puppy bowed politely, “Honored Lady, I have no ill will to him nor his family. I howl only to voice my request.”

...It was probably bad of her to have bias, but Hieda no Akyuu couldn’t help but like Sad Puppy all the more for that simple act of respect. She might even try to remember his real name if he survived this. “And that request is?”

“I wish only for the warmth of his hearth.”

Immediately, Urusai cut in, “I refuse to let this yokai in. He has howled every winter ever since I was a lost child in winter! He wishes to devour me and mine!” Taking a deep breath, Akyuu sighed as she recognized that telltale sign of a diatribe, “Once when my daughter was lost in the river, I saw him in the shadows when we found her. No doubt mourning the lost opportunity to eat her.”

As Akyuu was about to admonish the merchant, Sad Puppy howled, “False!”

“Why else would you howl!?” Urusai accused. “You wanted to eat me!”

“FALSE!” the wolf yokai howled again just as Akyuu tried again to regain control of the situation. She was beginning to understand why Urusai was so unsettled by Sad Puppy’s howls. Didn’t mean the merchant was any less of an idiotic asshole though.

“You want to destroy my family!” Urusai shouted, standing up. The guards all tensed, gripping their weapons.

“FALSE!” Sad Puppy howled one last time, also standing up, wobbling slightly on his digitigrade legs, “I have served your family for decades! I’ve protected your children and led your lost home,” he then bowed at the waist, “I just want to be let in the house in the winters! It’s cold!”

Miraculously, that outburst actually shut up Urusai. Akyuu was sure this was all very dramatic for the both of them, but she could already see it playing out. Some forgotten thing, untold story, blah blah blah, and now they were going to magically make up. She would b happy, and she was, but she would be happier if it didn’t involve wasting her time for about… She checked the sun’s position. Yupyup. Wasting her time for an hour. Akyuu sipped her tea and began mentally calling out the acts of the following conversation.

FIrst was Urusai’s self reflection.

“...Wait,” Urusai said slowly, “When I was lost in that storm when I was a child, were you the one who left me on the footsteps?”

“Yes!”

Then came the revelations. Typically three of them. That had been number one. Next should be number two.

“Why?” Urusai choked,

“The vow!” Sad Puppy howled yet again. Akyuu was starting to gt annoyed at Sad Puppy now, “Does your family not remember!? A bottle of sake on the doorstep for the inu who once overslept,”

“...penance undone, work unsung, the inu works to repay its debt,” Urusai murmured, finishing the limerick “...You’re the guard dog who failed my ancestor long ago.”

Yupyup. Revelation number two.

“I failed once. Never again. I do my duty,” Sad Puppy howled a low, mournful tone, “I have done it well. I will do it better still.” He then kneeled and bowed, “ Please… I just want to come in. You let me into that house one night long ago and… I am ashamed, but I wish for warmth. Just a little bit during the winters.”

Silent for a bit, Urusai breathed in and out before also kneeling into a bow, “Promise to continue to protect my family and you will always be welcome by the hearth. On behalf of my ancestor, I forgive you and name you Inugami of my household.”

Sad Puppy’s head shot up, eyes widening in surprise, “That is too much. I just--”

“You saved me once,” Urusai shook his head, “And you were the one whom saved my child from the river when she was swept away,” He wiped his face, ““I remember her babbling about a shadow, but…”

Akyuu idly noted the drowning child as revelation number three. She was getting good at this.

Sad Puppy was silent, eyes wide with fearful hope. Akyuu couldn’t help but smile though. It was nice for things to have a nice resolution.

“I recognize you now, One Eyed Wolf. How could I have forgotten you?” Urusai bowd again, “...I am sorry for not recognizing you sooner.”

“...Can I truly…”

“You must,” Urusai leaned forward, grasping Sad Puppy’s paw firmly, “You failed my ancestor when you slept on duty, but I failed your faithfulness when I wrongly accused you of wishing to devour me and my family. This is the only way for both of our honors to be fulfilled.”

There was a small part of Akyuu that wanted to mention the merchant’s bragging s tory and the leash, but she squashed that bit. Goodness, she was unusually petty today. She blamed the broadcast.

“...Thank you.” Sad Puppy bowed his head, weeping slightly

“No. Thank you.” Urusai bowed, tears also streaming down his face.

...Hieda no Akyuu would never say it aloud, but she did so enjoy these sorts of resolutions to her cases. It was rare that both sides were satisfied with a verdict.

This also seemed like a nice place to conclude. Clapping her hands thrice, Hieda no Akyuu, 9th Child of Miare, stated, “I declare this case closed. The issue discussed, the solution resolved, the contract created.”

“Thank you, Hieda no Akyuu! You’re truly wise,” both the merchant and the youkai stated, bowing in unison

Hieda no Akyuu smiled. She didn’t really do anything beyond providing a place for them to speak, but who was she to turn down the gratitude, “Would you like for me to record this? So that it will not be lost?”

“You are truly too kind,” Urusai nodded.

“Just doing my job,” Hieda no Akyuu smiled, the first real smile for this case. While she was uncomfortable with overseeing the disputes, she very much did enjoy recording the aftermath of them, especially when it was a peaceful one and especially when it was amicable to all. Interviewing humans and yokai, writing down their desires and motivations, this was the true purpose of being Gensokyo’s Memories.

Quickly writing down the agreement and a quick summary of events, she made three copies for them all to sign, one for the yokai to keep, one for the merchant and his family to keep, and one for her records. After they signed and left, Akyuu dismissed all her guards from the garden.

Once her privacy arrived, she let herself slump and a low whine escape her lips. That had been the last case waiting to be overseen and now she was allowing herself to slip off the professionalism and simply wallow in exhaustion.

That should not have worked. None of it should’ve worked. When the first case came in, Hieda no Akyuu thought it had been a joke. When the roots had begun taking over the front gate, Akyuu quickly looked over the case of the Kodama relocation. That one had been simple enough to resolve, and the tree spirit was patiently awaiting for assistance to be moved into the Forest of Magic.

That case had been the start and one thing had led to another and her day off had become her pretending, and somehow succeeding, to be a judge for these cases.

...There was still time in the day, maybe Akyuu could still salvage it and--

A servant rushed in, shouting, “Apologies, Hieda-sama, but there’s a group of farmers complaining about a youkai untilling their fields. The youkai is complaining about her… roof becoming too brittle? I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I,” Hieda no Akyuu sighed, having already settled into prim and proper position once she heard the staccato of footeps. Closing her eyes, she couldn’t help but wonder how exactly she had gotten roped into being a diplomat for youkai disputes.

...Actually, she knew exactly why. That damn Fool with a voice.

Her real question was why was she going along with this farce?

And why was it working?

“Should I send them away?” the servant nervously muttered.

“No. Send them in,” Hieda no Akyuu commanded.

Bowing, the servant left. Alone in her garden, Hieda no Akyuu clasped her hands in prayer, muttering, “Heavens know why this is working, but so long as it does, I’ll help.”

She didn’t know who she was praying to, but Hieda no Akyuu hoped that whoever answered was willing to help. Then opening her eyes, she prepared her calligraphy set and was ready to record once again.

Help from the heavens would be nice, but her lifetimes had shown that personally setting up the groundwork was what really helped.

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Dreamers, I have received many queries about myself. Questions that wonder why I do what I do, how I know what I know, and why I am so familiar yet so alien. As always, the Message Box is open for questions and information on and for Gensokyo, not about myself. It is located at the foot of the Dragon God Statue.

Still, today is a slow day, so I’ll answer one of these most unprofessional questions. I am familiar because I am a part of Gensokyo. I am alien because I am a part of Gensokyo. Gensokyo is not me, to be clear, but I am a part of Gensokyo.

A hopefully useful, but most likely useless, part, but a part nevertheless.