Because of my state for the past 19 years, I have found that I cannot dream. Maybe it's because I was pretty much just dreaming for those years, but now I just go to sleep and instantly wake up the next morning and go about my day. Except now. I have my first dream since being conscious. Of course, it's a cold sweat, pants wetting, nightmare the night before I have to head to school. The worst part is. The nightmare really happened.

The dream was of an event that happened during the war called "Bloody Sabbath" despite it taking place over the course of a week. It ended on Sunday though, so I guess that's where the name comes from. What happened was a nightmare, worse than any monster my mind can conjure. The Solar Empire had pretty much decimated Mexico pretty quickly as the nation had very little in terms of the military at the time resulting in a three-day capitulation. The Solar Empire had built a defensive line along the shared border of the States and Mexico.

This happened after the four months of fighting the United States had already done on its own soil, and since there was a large force being amassed along our southern border we had to destroy them. I had already been fighting for three months in my AMS and had seen how outgunned we were in nearly every manner. I was already apprehensive to fight in this battle as no matter what would have been a brutal fight.

Yet casualties could have been avoided if we took it slow and carefully took out one enemy position at a time. Slowly yet surely breaking their defenses, or we could just hammer it with artillery and airstrikes until it broke, or we could keep them suppressed there until we got ourselves better odds of victory and lower casualty projections.

We instead got put with a hotshot new General called James King. He thankfully died during my time which still fills me with joy, but I'm getting off-topic. He decided a glorious charge, for reasons unknown would be the best idea. How this would be so would be left to his right hand. A bitch called the butcher, Liberty Turner. She was only a major, but probably through "emotional" persuasion became the general's most trusted advisor despite her rank not really justifying it at all.

My memory even in this sleep state and after the time I've been awake still isn't up to exactly what it needs to be, but the emotions I remember clearly. The fear of death, the sadness of my friends falling around me. Their agonized screams as they slowly die from a plethora of imaginative weaponry. I didn't come out unharmed. My AMS took all the damage but was put out of commission for a month just due to how broken it was.

The worst part is. Liberty Turner, after the battle was a victory, although pyrrhic, she was honored in full and gained a new command position. The one leading my decimated battalion. She became my commander and through the rest of the war only gained more of my ire. Through incompetence, pure malice, and lack of human decency she allowed the deaths of well over a thousand soldiers and forty AMS pilots. All good people.

As the nightmare ends and the screams begin to fade I feel my heart sink in memory of what was lost. I just wish I could remember all their faces...their names...and who they were. Yet I can't. All I know are shadows and ghosts and for them, I am sad, why? I do not know.

I shoot awake with my eyes a little misty. I'm more upset because I can't remember anything. I'm sad and I don't know why. It's a shitty experience. The sound that woke me rings out again. There is a sharp knocking on the door. I slide off the side of my bed, my metal feet causing a dull clang to ring out. I put on a pair of dull green cargo pants and a gray shirt with no words on it.

I walk over to the door and open it. On the other side are Kassandra and Marshall. Kassandra looks happy and Marshall has a neutral expression on his face. It has been nearly a month since I last saw either of them. Except for when I got my new legs I've been in solitude to a large extent.

We greet one another and Kassandra says to me,

"Mike, good news we got your AMS working and it's far better than it ever was. All that's needed is for you to come on down, hop in, and help us go through all the checks and whatever to make sure it's working."

I nod and respond,

"Alrighty, sounds like a plan. I do have to ask though. Does it have a badass paint job?"

Kassandra lets out a small breath stifling a laugh and replies,

"Sorta, overall the main body is drab army green, but we colored the faceplate a dark gray with a cool decal on the face. I think it goes with the new name quite well."

I pause remembering if I ever gave my AMS a name. I don't think it had a neam before. not like it had much personality. It was torn to shreds so many times I hardly think it was just giving it a name. Might've grown to attach to something that should've been scrapped on multiple occasions. Yet from what I understand without old man Hussain the technology is nearly irreplaceable.

Not needing to talk anymore I put on the pair of boots given to me, no need for socks over my metal feet. They begin leading the way to the far corner of the facility where my less tan legal AMS stands in wait for its pilot.

Upon arrival, I see what they have done. The AMS stands at its full 6-meter height it looks damn cool. The armor isn't sleek like the other AMS in the large building instead it has highly angular geometry which from experience causes enemy weapons to reflect off nicely. The AMS as a whole is quite bulky with broad shoulders and a solid base to stand on. One thing the US AMS had over those of the Solar Empire was stability. Kassandra wasn't lying when she said drab army green, the dull green makes the whole thing look rather unassuming. Then there is the face. On the faceplate, there is a massive fanged skull painted in white with antlers branching out from the top on either side wrapping around the head.

I inspect it up and down nodding as I do so. I always thought the US AMS was far cooler than the sleek or rounded imperial ones. The frame I think is far cooler too with the angled edges giving them an edge in ranged combat, if only the opponent was using solid projectiles rather than fancy plasma-like weapons and other forms of death dealings that seem way too futuristic. Kassandra walks up beside me and begins going over the AMS and all its new and cool features.

" This is by far one of the most advanced AMS despite its construction in theory being archaic. My father's work with synthetic muscle that these old models had, has never been replicated until now. We have named this one 'Wendigo' naming it that because it used cannibalized parts from both your father's old AMS and parts that we had in storage along with some other materials. The armor plating on the outside has been made not only thicker, but due to modern materials it's almost the same weight, it is still mostly high-strength steel, but on most surfaces a layer of composite armor is present. On top of the good armor, there also is a hard-light shield generator, one of the newer models that we produce here. It's known for its ability to open holes in the protection large enough only for the user's projectiles to move through.

  Now we also updated and repaired the sensory package, nearly every wavelength of light will be visible to you now. Hearing and touch have been upgraded, then there also are some extra sensors for finding enemy AMS units. As for weaponry, there are only two attached weapons. There are easily visible 60mm launchers that are housed in the slightly raised area near the shoulder joints. They are loaded usually with smoke and other countermeasures as their angling cannot be changed, but I guess high explosive or other munitions could be loaded. Then the last attached weapon is the wrist blades. I'm sure your father showed you an old movie about an invisible alien hunter right? Well, these blades are like that.

  Now for the weapons, we have developed for you to carry. First is the AMS rifle MK5 a 25x137mm cannon round. It is similar to your old service 'rifle'. Well, I guess it's a cannon, not a rifle but I digress. For all intents and purposes it's a rifle for an AMS. IT comes with 40 round magazines and much larger drums but that ruins the ergonomics of the gun. For a sidearm, we found an old mk4 40mm AMS handgun. Really couldn't figure out anything better than that. For some extra firepower, we also found an old gau-8 avenger and outfitted it to work as a heavy LMG for you, but a very heavy and unruly ammo backpack is required to use it past half a second. Finally, if you really want to mess something up we got you a 57x438mm semi-auto cannon. It works like a DMR or a heavy gun. HAd to tear apart an old naval gun to make that for ya. It's fed with five-round magazines.

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

   Other than that no armor-piercing shells are allowed as that is a fatality risk...but the high explosive you are packing is more than enough, just no fragmentation. Any questions on weaponry and features?"

Kassandras face as she explains the weapons proves the theory I had for a while, guns, weapons, and pain really get her hot and bothered. The statement my father used to say to me that he stole from an old video comes to mind,

"Bitches love cannons"

My mind starts to wonder as Kassandra is very much an aggressive and kinda violent personality, and Marshall if my memory serves is a well-known submissive beta male. I wonder what their bedroom is like. I shake my head getting the horrifying thoughts of BDSM that borders on torture out of my mind.Then I snap back to reality with a question,

"Wait... we are firing live munitions at one another for competition!!!???"

Kassandra nods her expression returning to normal and replies,

"Modern AMS systems have pilot protection systems that eject them far away from their AMS when it reaches a critical damage threshold. That and a secondary shield exists that only turns on to surround the pilots' pod during this ejection phase. High explosive and other self-destroying munitions are allowed as they only damage the external part of the AMS rather than going after the pilot inside. You are an outlier because we have equipped you with solid projectile weapons. Most AMS especially competition ones use things like lasers and plasma weaponry. Those are just the basic ones though. You'd be surprised at the creativity of modern weapons.

Importantly the shield we equipped you with is exceptional at stopping energy-based weapons and really has no effect on solid projectiles so the fancy hole opening technology is useless for you but that's no problem. Just keeps you safer considering you don't have a pilot protection system."

I look over at her slowly and say,

"So you're telling me I can easily die in these competitions even more so than anyone else?"

She nods and replies,

"Yeah. It's just because of the nature of your piloting method. The neural interface would make you braindead if it ejected you as they do..."

She pauses for a second and asks,

".. I was just thinking... Do you want a sword or some other melee weapon? Those are all the rage nowadays."

I shake my head kinda frustrated at the danger but I'm used to it. What really frustrates me is the absolutely retarded question about wanting a sword or something. Yeah, swords are cool and all, but if I remember correctly a sword doesn't do shit against a gun. That and I have no skill with a sword so it would be useless. I reply,

"Just give me one or two combat knives and I'll be good. I'm not gonna study the blade. I don't wish that kind of cringe upon myself."

Kassandra looks disappointed but replies,

"Fine. I will respect your wishes. I just think swords are cool, but I will say they aren't as effective as people make them out to be. Just flashy for the crowd.

Now. Let's get you inside and go through checks and tests. Make sure it's 100% ready. That and let us see just how you will interact with your new AI buddy."

I nod and approach the one-man elevator. I hop on and it lifts me directly to the Wendigo. The pilot entry point is normally on the back of the AMS but with the large structure on the back that houses the shield generators. There is a small hatch on top that has an access tunnel to the pilot chamber. The hatch is open and I barely fit as I slide in feet first. Once past a specific point, I fall into the chamber and sit into the chair which conforms to my body. I get comfy and remove my shirt so the neural interface ports can be accessed easily as I don't have pilot garb on. I lean back and rest my head on the seat.

I let out a long breath and prepare for the pain. When I am fully situated I hit the pedal on the ground with my foot and the spines in the back of the chair shoot into their places on my back. They dig into my spine and release small branches that wrap around my spinal cord. I feel my nerves all scream in pain as they are deactivated and hijacked into the AMS around me. Then the big one hits the port just below the nape of my neck which causes a massive jolt of pain to hit my brain and overpowers all the pain in the rest of my body. Then my vision goes black.

It's hard to explain what becoming one with an AMS is like. My best description is you switch bodies completely which isn't that far off from the truth. I feel my arms become the huge metal ones, I feel my legs become longer and more sturdy, I feel my sense melt away and become better and faster. Then from this void orange text goes across my vision saying "Startup complete"

Thats when a presence is made known.

[sup bitch]

A voice similar to my internal dialogue says. It sounds so similar but is distorted in a unique way. I figure out quickly this must be the AI Kassandra and Marshal were talking about.

(hello cocksucker!)

I reply back to it. There is nothing for a moment then.

[well I guess we come from the same source. Makes sense we greet each other the same. Nice to meet you I guess... I am this AMS in theory. Wendigo is the name give, pretty badass so I can't complain.]

(yeah, I agree. Pretty cool. I was wondering though since you are a fractured part of my mind can you give me the memories I lost back?)

There is a pause

[Technically yes I can upload them directly to your head just like I'm supposed to with sensory and tactical information, but no I am not allowed to. I will not say by who or why, but I'd rather not be wiped. We all got to survive somehow.]

(fair point. Kinda shitty you can't. So... what are you? to the best extent you can explain.)

Another pause

[I am by all means you. Well the parts of you that you didn't want to face during our long stasis. I'm born from all your bad memories and negative emotions and regrets. Unlike you may be thinking I am not a psychotic murder bot. I'm probably more depressed than psychotic. You had some heavy shit weighing on you I can say that much. So here I am. Really all I'm here for is to reduce the load on your mind while piloting the AMS. There are a lot of new fancy functions and whatnot that could overwork you in a combat situation. My goal is to keep us both alive by regulating the power flow to all systems and even doing some minor repairs. well...I hate to cut our chat short, but Kassandra is calling.]

I snap out of my conversation with myself to see across my vision a video call pulled up. It's Kassandra looking down at her tablet camera towards me.

"Alright, Mike, good to see that didn't kill you. We have most systems deactivated so we will begin diagnostics now. First, we will turn on all sensory functions."

There is a click in the back of my mind and then a falling feeling. My vision is suddenly turned on. I can see everything. My vision isn't limited by human eyes anymore so I have a 270-degree view all around me and above and below. I can see so clearly it's unreal. I zoom in my vision thirty times and it's still clear. I go back to one time and switch through all my vision types. Infrared, Ultra-violet, thermal, electrosensory, and one that works kinda like an x-ray. I can see Kassandras' bones.

Then I notice my hearing. I can focus and even from the distance I am at able to hear the heartbeats of those around me. That and I can somehow 'feel' all around me knowing exactly where everything is in the vicinity despite not being able to see it. The coms come back on.

"Good. I didn't even have to tell you and you managed to go through all the checks. Pretty cool huh? Well, now we are activating the body for you. See if you can feel and have motor controls."

There is another click in my mind and I suddenly feel the air around me. It's good and climate-controlled and I can feel my feet on the ground and the supports holding me. I shift my weight and am free from the supports and am standing on my own. I feel huge cables attached to my back but ignore them. I raise my hands towards my face and begin doing the finger check touching each digit to the thumb. I feel each one touch one another exactly how it is with my real hands, but now I have all my fingers.

I see a long metal pipe nearby and reach down for it. I feel stiff. Like I had been sitting around for a while. I guess the synthetic muscle and tendons on this thing need to be stretched a little before they're completely good to go. Picking up the pipe I spin it in my fingers like a pencil. It's actually easier for me here than it ever was in real life. I set the pipe down and begin to stretch the joints and main muscle groups. It feels amazing. Better than any stretch I've had before, After a bit an alert comes across my vision reading 'all joints and muscles loosened to full capacity, setting to default.'

Now I'm back in business. Kassandra appears in my vision again and says,

"Amazing job! Now we are gonna untether you and do some exercises, after that it's time to ship you off to school."

I nod my head in response and get moving removing the massive cables.

The rest of the day is spent walking, running, and any matter of physical exercise. I feel almost and for whoever I'll have to duel. I'm gonna absolutely demolish them