-CHAPTER 22-

“We decided to target the daughter,” Adir said, “Her name was Misha Baumann.”

“M- Mom?” I responded, meekly.

“I see…” Adir said, “I knew it from the moment I saw ya’. I heard yer last name, and it was all but confirmed…”

“What did you-” I butted in, hyperventilating.” I thought but didn’t say,

“What did you do to my Mom you bastard?”

“Let him finish.” Keshet tugged at me. Adir continued,

“Since our target was the 9-year-old Misha Baumann, we worked our way down.

First, we removed the Father. Easy as putting him in a cart, and he had left Red forever.

Next, we took out the Mother. They tied ‘er up to a tree I think.

Finally, was ‘er older brother. We tried to take him from his bedroom the same night as the Mother, but he resisted. The screams were close to waking up Misha, so they shot him on the spot.”

“You- your comrades shot my uncle, and you did nothing?”

Adir rolled right through my comment.

“Misha woke up anyway. In the middle of the night, she went to check on her brother. What she found was his body.

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I stared through the window at her shock and fear, trauma and hatred. I thought about why I had done all this. What had these people done to me? What had happened to the point where we were traumatizing a 9-year-old girl? In that moment, I didn’t care about what her ancestors did or were; all I could see was the unwarranted pain being forced upon a girl who had no place to escape to.

I sat outside the window of the home, and screamed into the pitch-black sky. I screamed and screamed,

‘Go back!’ I yelled, ‘Go back, go back, GO BACK!” And yet it never did. Time kept on going, just as it always had.

I went home. My comrades offered me a drink. With unclouded, adolescent-ajascent vision, I said to them, ‘I don’t want a drink, I want a g-d damn answer!’ I pulled a gun, and shot all 6 of the Guardians who developed the plan.

I escaped through the window, and decided I had to just live in a small village in the middle of nowhere for the rest of my life. But before I left, I visited Misha.

I didn’t apologize. Even if I did, I wouldn’t be forgiven. I couldn’t have been, and if I was forgiven, I would see that as sin.

I hugged Misha. I knew I could never truly make amends, but this was the best I could do.

She asked me,

‘When you become an adult, do things get easier?’

I hugged her tighter, and cried with her. The last things she said to me was, ‘When I grow up, I want to be the start of something. I’m not the type to fight, but I’ll be the Mother of something. I’ll name my son Lavi, because he’ll be powerful, like a lion! Powerful enough to make big change, the kind I couldn’t have.’

I left before the sun rose, and moved here: Plain Point.

Lavi, when I met’cha, and I heard yer name, I was filled with immense joy. I knew that you were a living reminder that yer Mother was real, and that her dream wasn’t just a jumble o’ words, but something bigger.

Lavi,

be a lion.”

I broke down in tears on the table. After all that, I was beaten.

With teary eyes in oily palms, I sobbed.

“Mom…”

Naomi and Keshet came to my side, and hugged me while I cried.