I remember the day we stood in the parking lot of our beach; the day Hayes asked me to take him back. The look on his face when I told him no was heartbreaking. I’m not sure he prepared for the possibility that he wouldn’t get his way, and it hurt more than he thought it would. But the expression on his face right now is one that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

“Wow,” he says breathlessly, after a moment of letting my words sink in. “T-that’s really what you think of me?”

My heart hurts. There’s an actual stabbing pain that’s shooting through it. “I don’t know what to think. All I know is that I walked away and came back to find Monty bleeding out on the ground, and you saying you accidentally shot him.”

“Yeah, emphasis on accidentally!” he yells.

“Well, for me, the emphasis is on shot him!” I shout back.

He sends the chair flying backward as he gets up from the table. “This is fucking great. My wife honestly believes I’m a murderer.”

“I didn’t say that!” I argue. “But think of how this would look to anyone else!”

“You’re not anyone else! You’re my wife!” he roars. “I just thought you would have a little more faith in me than this. You’ve known me for how long? If you truly think I’m capable of something like that, why are you even with me?”

“Because I love you! I’m not saying you killed him in cold blood but you can’t deny that something isn’t adding up here. He just randomly took out a gun and started swinging it around? That doesn’t make any sense!” I swipe open my phone. “And then there’s this.”

As I press play, the sound of his voice plays through the speaker. We both listen as he threatens to kill Monty in a way that sounds like he’s talking about random Tuesday night plans, not someone’s life.

“Of course, he recorded that,” he mutters as it finishes. “Where did you get it?”

I huff in disbelief. “Why does that even matter?”

“Because I’m wondering if you managed to find anything else he recorded. Like the sex tape he illegally made of us, for example. Or maybe the video of Mali undressing he took with the cameras he hid all over her house.”

My jaw drops, and there’s a good chance I might throw up. “What are you talking about?”

“Your good friend Monty is what I’m talking about!” he roars. “Entitled rich prick by day, closet fucking pervert by night!”

I feel like my head is going to explode. There’s so much going on. Too many pieces I’m trying to put together all at once. It’s mental chaos and I’m dying in the center of it.

“What sex tape?”

He rolls his eyes. “The one he blackmailed me with. The one he took when he let us use his boat that day, right after he put a hidden camera on it.”

Oh…my God. “T-that was fucking months ago! Why the hell are you telling me about it now? Why not then?”

“Because I didn’t want to hurt you.” He sighs in frustration. “Craig had already made you feel exploited, and this was so much worse than a few pictures. This was straight pornography. And I was taking care of it. I even paid a hacker five hundred dollars to get rid of any trace of it.”

Fuck. “And the video of Mali?”

“He erased that, too—along with the hundreds of others. I think it’s safe to say I’m not the only one he was blackmailing.”

I rub my hands over my face. “This is all so fucked up.”

He hums sarcastically. “Yeah, you’re telling me.”

I take a deep breath in an effort to compose myself, because we’re never going to get anywhere if we’re arguing. And besides, as much as I hate that he kept this from me, I can’t exactly hold it against him while I’m keeping a secret, too.

One I can’t tell him about.

My voice breaks through the heavy silence. “What really happened that night on the island, Hayes?”

“It was an accident.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

He runs his fingers through his hair. “Cam and I were trying to get him to leave town. We used his own blackmail against him and told him that once we got back to the docks, we never want to see him again, or we would show you and Mali. At first, he acted like he was agreeing, but we should’ve known. Backing psychos into a corner turns them into rabid animals.”

“So, you threatened him, and he went into the boat and grabbed a gun?”

“Yes.”

“Then what?”

There’s something in his eyes, something he isn’t willing to explain, and I watch as he masks it over. “Exactly what I told you. I got it away from him and it went off.”

More. Fucking. Lies. “Are you sure about that?”

“Yes!”

He’s growing angrier by the second. The patience he once had is quickly fading. But we’re both too stubborn to stop before this goes too far.

“I’m calling bullshit,” I say, feeling my rage build. “Fucking bullshit! Because I know you! You’re not the kind of guy who could kill someone on accident and not beat yourself up over it!”

His arms fly in the air as he takes a few steps away then stops and turns around. “What the fuck do you want me to say? That I’m sorry he’s dead? That I wish I could change what happened? What do you want to fucking hear, Laiken?”

I get up and move toward him. “The truth!”noveldrama

“The truth?” he spits. “The truth is I’m not sorry! I’m glad he’s dead! Throwing his body into the water and watching it sink beneath the surface was one of the most relieving moments of my fucking life! Because he’s gone, and I don’t ever have to worry about him being anywhere near you again!”

There it is. Everything I was terrified of hearing, thrown right into my face. It’s deafeningly quiet as the two of us stare at each other, his confession lingering in the air. And there’s only one question I can manage to choke out.

“Who are you?”

“I’m your fucking husband! And I will do whatever it takes to protect you, whether you like the methods or not!”

I tell myself not to say it. That I don’t want to hear the answer. But as my eyes fall closed for a second, I realize I can’t avoid it. I need to ask.

“Even kill someone?”

“Yes!”

The answer comes out so loud that it echoes around the room, and we both know there’s no going back from this. There’s no way to unhear the words that were just spoken. Everything we were trying to hide is poured out and spilled all over the floor, and there’s no way to shove it all back in the box it came out of.

His jaw locks and his muscles flex as any chance of controlling his temper goes out the window. “Fuck!”

The door opens, and Cam walks in with Mali just as Hayes’s fist flies through the wall. Both their eyes widen as they see what state we’re in. H pulls his hand out of the freshly made hole in the sheetrock and there’s blood on his knuckles. He must have caught a nail.

“Son of a bitch,” he mutters.

I run my fingers through my hair, moving to help him clean it up, but Cam stops me.

“No. Just…” He pauses and takes a breath. “Go upstairs with Mali. You and Hayes both need a minute to cool off.”

It’s obvious he’s just trying to protect us. Me more than him, probably. I lock eyes with my husband, and I’m waiting for him to say something. Anything. But when he looks away, I know it’s because he agrees with him—and there’s nothing more he has to say.

There I am—the same fifteen-year-old girl who fell in love with the boy that set my soul on fire with a single look. The girl who almost got her happily ever after. And I wanted that so bad for her. For them. But this isn’t a fairy tale, where everyone lives happily ever after. This is real life, where it’s dark, and cold, and brutal.

And no one makes it out alive.

Mali gently takes my arm, pulling me toward the stairs. And I don’t look away from Hayes until I absolutely have to. Cam is trying to check his hand, but he doesn’t want anything to do with it.

“I’m fucking fine!” he shouts, smacking a cup into the sink before storming toward the front door. “I need a goddamn cigarette.”

I feel empty inside as I go up the stairs and into our bedroom. Mali sits on the bed beside me and the moment I break, she pulls me toward her. My head rests on her lap while tears pour from my eyes, her fingers softly running through my hair.

I needed him to sound convincing. To explain what happened in a way that makes sense. A way in which anyone would believe that the recording of him threatening Monty and the tragedy that followed after was just a horribly timed coincidence. But whatever secret he’s still keeping, it’s only making it worse.

“What happened tonight, babes?” Mali asks. “What the hell did we walk into?”

Grabbing a tissue from the box, I wipe my eyes. “Karma from beyond the grave, I’m guessing.”

“Yeah, I’m going to need you to elaborate a little more on that one.”

There’s no way to explain it. And even if there was, I’d never be able to get it out without breaking down again. So instead, I grab my phone and play the voice recording for her.

In case you were wondering, hearing it for the third time still isn’t any easier.

“Well…that’s fucking dark,” Mali says as the recording ends. “But I mean, you don’t honestly think Hayes killed Monty on purpose, do you?”

“No,” I answer instinctively, then pause. “I don’t know.”

She gives me a knowing look. “Laiken. This is Hayes we’re talking about.”

“I know, and in any other circumstance, I’d never even consider the possibility.” I look down at my lap. “But that proof of us sneaking around Monty threatened Hayes with? Turns out it was a sex tape. He rigged his boat with hidden cameras and let us borrow it for the day so he could record us.”

“I was wondering when he was going to tell you about that.”

My brows furrow as I look up at her. “You knew?”

She shakes her head. “Not for long. The night he died, Cam told me about the videos—of you and me. He figured it would make getting over the loss easier.”

I don’t know what’s more surprising, that she knew and didn’t tell me, or that Cam knew and didn’t burn the whole damn world to the ground. And the betrayal of learning they all kept this from me cuts deep.

“And you didn’t tell me?” I snap. “What the fuck, Mali?”

“You haven’t been stable enough to hear it,” she answers. “The mental capacity it takes to unpack something like that? Telling you now wouldn’t have done any good.”

My eyes roll. “I don’t believe that. You just said that Cam figured it would make getting over the loss easier, and judging by how you look, I’m thinking he was right. You didn’t think I could use something to make it easier?”

She purses her lips. “No, because what’s going on with you isn’t about Monty. It hasn’t been. Not completely, anyway. You’ve been using his death as an excuse, but I know you better than that. This whole time, you’ve just been mind-numbingly terrified of what might happen next. The guilt that’s eating at you isn’t because Monty is gone. It’s because you feel responsible for us being on the boat in the first place. And for leaving Hayes with Monty when you knew they didn’t get along.”

Tears blur my vision once more. I don’t even think she realizes how right she is. More so now than ever. Three weeks ago, I was in post marital bliss, living my dream life. And now, it’s in ruins.

“Let me ask you this,” she murmurs. “Say Hayes did kill Monty intentionally…do you think he was in the wrong?”

There are a million ways I could answer that—could write ten pages of an essay on the topic—but the first one that comes to mind is simple.

“No one deserves to die, especially the way he did,” I tell her. “But I don’t miss him anymore.”

THE SHOWER RUNS AND steam fills the room while I sit on the floor, sobbing until I can’t breathe. I can feel my heart tearing at the seams. Last night was a disaster. All I wanted was for him to convince me beyond a reasonable doubt that he didn’t do this. That killing Monty was a freak accident and that’s all there is to it. A good night gone terribly wrong. But he couldn’t do that.

And if he can’t convince me, someone who has been madly in love with him for years and hangs on his every word, he’d never stand a chance at convincing a jury.

I think about all the people who would lose him. My brother wouldn’t have his best friend and be forced to open the bar, Hayes’s dream, by himself. His sister would lose her big brother, leaving her with no one to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. His mom would lose her son—the only man she’s ever truly loved after her husband shattered her heart when he chose an addiction over her.

After thinking about it all night, if someone asked me right now if I honestly believe Hayes killed Monty in cold blood, I’d say no. I know the man that I fell in love with. He’s kind and he’s caring. He puts others before himself. And when he loves, he does it with absolutely everything he has. But a random group of twelve wouldn’t know that about him. Not like I do. Or like the people that love him do.

So, it’s time for someone to put him first for once—to keep him from spending the rest of his life in prison for a crime he didn’t commit.

Grabbing my phone off the counter, I reply to the unknown number from yesterday.

> If I do this, you have to swear that he will be safe. Nothing can happen to him. That’s my only condition.

It takes under a minute for the response to come through.

> Cross my heart and hope to die.

>

> No pun intended. 😉

That’s nice. My life is falling apart, and this no-named asshole is making jokes. I let my phone fall to the floor. With my mind made up, I know there’s no going back. My fate is sealed. But for now, I cry—letting the pain rip me apart and rock me to sleep, like the darkness is all I have left anymore.