Silence lay thick in the air as the two men glared at each other; Frank and Mark began shifting in their seats uncomfortably. Frank kept rubbing his hands up and down his upper thighs as if willing the tension away. Mark, who up until then hadn’t been as forthcoming with conversation, spoke up first.
“High Priest, what if the boy is right? What if we are repeating past mistakes expecting the different results.” He paused. “You know I’m loyal to this cause, but Matthius' reasoning is not unfounded.”
“Know your place, Brother.” Zachariah fumed. “I will not have my intentions doubted by those below me. This discussion is between me and Matthius. In fact, why don’t you and Frank leave now. We will speak of your doubts later.”
Frank was stunned by this outburst from his leader. He wanted to defend his brother, but he knew that it would be a futile and hollow gesture. Seeing that his partner was about to say something he’d regret, Frank grabbed Mark gently by the shoulder.
“Let’s go, brother. You heard the High Priest; this isn’t ours to discuss. Let’s go meet Brother Wyatt in the main hall.” Frank said empathetically.
Mark slumped his shoulders defeated, “All right, Frank.”
They had been through so much. Frank and Mark had never been married or even dated any women; their lives had always been consumed by the order. They had grown closer to each other the older they got, and the two of them had a deeper love for each other than many had the capability of understanding.
As a healer, on many occasions, Frank used his gift to save his friend from the brink of death. Every time he had done so though, he had taken in the darkest parts of his partner. Obtaining that kind of knowledge about anyone is a deeply personal connection, and contrary to what one might think, it was a binding agent in their relationship.
Frank opened the door leading the way out of the office. As they passed through the threshold and around the corner, Frank grabbed Marks hand and led him into the small room beside Zachariah’s office. He pulled Mark close and kissed him gently.
“You can’t let Zachariah find a reason to get rid of you, Honey.” Frank chided. “We already have to tread carefully without you upsetting the High Priest.”
“I know, Frank, but what is being done to the boy is just history repeating himself. Are we really going to stand here and do nothing as Zachariah uses another young soul as a pawn. We both know that he does not have his ability anymore as he claims; it faded when we lost that boy’s mother.”
“We don't know that for sure, Mark. We cannot start doubting now; otherwise what was the point of all the sacrifices we’ve made thus far.”
“I know I’m scared of how I am feeling too, but for God’s sake we can’t even be our genuine selves for fear of being excommunicated from the very order we helped survive for decades.” Mark said dejectedly. “Doesn’t that shit bother you? Don’t you want to stop hiding without fear of persecution?”
“Of course, I want that!” Frank said angrily. “Right now though, we have got to lie low. It isn’t the right time.”
“Are you fucking kidding me, Frankie? When the hell is the right time? If we let that boy rot, then we are no better than the demons that are manipulating people into doing their will. What is the difference between us? Tell me that, at least.” Mark said vehemently.
“We have a High Priest appointed by our Savior; he wouldn’t lead us astray, Mark.” Frank said.
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“He is a man, Frankie… Men are fallible. The day we deny that will be the day we fall and everything we worked towards comes crumbling down.”
“I can’t let myself believe that he has fallen like that, “ Frank said quietly.
“Maybe it’s time we accept that fact as reality, Frankie.” Mark said softly. “I know in my heart that what we have been called to do is the Lord’s will, but the direction things have taken recently seem skewed towards revenge or worse still motivated by pride.”
“I know…” Frank paused dreading what he was going to say next. “Something hasn’t felt right since we were assigned to Matthius. I’ve just been so afraid to voice my fears aloud. The High Priest is our only true leader through all this hell. If he is, in fact, fallible then our order may very well be on the brink of destruction. “
“There is another solution, Frankie.” Mark stared into Franks hazel eyes anxiously. “You could lead us. You could be the new High Priest.”
Frank was stunned. How could his partner even say much less even consider this a possibility; it was sacrilege of the highest level. He could hear the thump of his heart rate accelerating in his ears. As he considered the ramifications of his partners words, his palms began to sweat and began to feel weak in his knees.
“The High Priest is literally in the next room over, Mark.” He stated emphatically. “How can you be so fucking reckless and naive. Even if I agreed with your sentiments ( which I will give no opinion on), I cannot act upon such an idea.”
“So you don’t agree with me?”
“I told you, I will not entertain this thought process.” Frank replied bluntly.
“And I’m telling you that I don’t give a fuck. We are in a dire time once again, and it is time for us to stop dragging our feet. It is time for action, Frankie. I love you, but if your blind loyalty for the High Priest pushes us apart, as much as it may hurt, so be it.”
“So that’s what it has come to? Is that really how you see me? After all we have been through? After all I have sacrificed?”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, Frank.” Mark said, growing steadily frustrated. “You are the one too afraid to show your love for me openly and unabashedly.”
“Now hold on, that is incredibly unfair, and you know that it is so much more complicated than that.”
“How, Frank? How!!”
“They will not abide by it. You know what consequences we would face.”
“I would welcome a thousand deaths if my last breath was in your arms knowing we were true to ourselves. Why do we have to hide in fear? Why can’t we be true to ourselves?”
Frank's anger receded seeing the pain in his lover's eyes. He knew that what he had said was true for both of them. He too longed to be true to his heart, and he also knew that Mark was right: He was afraid. After every life or death situation they had been through, the one that he never wanted to consider as reality was this. Knowing that if they came out, Zachariah would have them shamed and murdered. Many times, the High Priest’s sermons alluded to the very fate he feared most. All men have that one fear that they just can’t overcome; this was his.
Tenderly, he said, “ Because I am afraid. I’m terrified of losing the only good thing in my life.”
“What’s that?” Mark said, his anger fading.
“You, Dumbass!” Frank said increditiously. “I may be the toughest craziest motherfucker you know, but when it comes down to what we have, I am terrified of losing it. I have one weakness, Mark. If I let them see that, then we lose everything.”
“Frankie, you have to push all that aside, right now. The love we have for each other is pure and indestructible; nothing they can do to us physically could ever destroy it.”
“Then what do you suggest we do?”
“That boy is being thrown into a world he knows nothing about. I know, he is stronger than his father according to Zachariah, but what if he isn’t. We could save him, Frankie. We could bring about a better era for the Vizacs.”
“Maybe so, but if we are wrong, it could cost not only our lives but the boy’s too. Let’s go get something to eat, okay? Then after dinner, we can discuss this more.” His eyes looked upon Mark longing for this awful discussion to be over.”
“I could definitely use some food after the day we’ve had.” Mark said reluctantly. “Lead the way, Frankie.”
“With pleasure!” Frank said relieved.