it all started when she was reborn.

in her 'first' life (the one she last remembered) she was a normal child which was slightly strange, having weird quirks.

still, she was a normal average child, an only child of a normal family- she was good at nothing and bad at nothing as well, she just lived her life, peacefully, with no enemies or excitement, she died at the end of her teens not even remembering how.

being reborn and finding out she is in a cultivation world, she thought she could finally acomplished her wish!

no, not to get stronger. she didn't want girls(or guys), power, or anything of the like- maybe it was her being a girl, or just her being strange, but she never cared about all of that.

her greatest desire was to have her life full of interesting people! her strongest regret in her past life was that it was filled with boring people that made her satisfied with her boring self.

she, who knew her personality better then anyone, knew she would quit doing everything the moment she got bored of it, and would try only with the help of her friends. so she encouraged her 2 sisters, brother, and her 2 childhood friends to have hobbies, telling them about her knowledge from her past life and making them intrested in learning of it. her parents were used to her weirdness from a young age and let her be, it was not a big deal in that world.

with my friends being interested in it from a very young age, they are bound to become something! was her thought process, and she was right. growing up interested in alchemy/money/technology/architecture, and having her help for ideas to help them stands out with her bizzare thought process, they managed to get the right people intrested in them to grow even more.

and as they grew older, cultivation became a thing. she wanted to cultivate, live as long as she can and learn all the world has to offer. normally, people would die not able to truly know all there is- but she had cultivation! with that dream she was sure it was going to work well!

she truly seemed to be like a protagonist, knowing the most talented people and having great talent herself! the only difference is the enviroment.

she was born on the third lowest realm. not the highest, or the lowest. it was the realm named as 'realm of gods' by those below it. even the most common person from the realm lived up to 300,000 years, and that is for common people. for those with even a little prestige, 10,000 years was still being a child. her parents were some unimportant nobles of some small kingdom in the 'realm of gods'. it might not amount too much for most in the realm, the 'heroes' who live here being too low to count as anything more then 'earthly geniuses'. she, as a child was labled 'godly genius', three level beyond those around. still, she could never dream of reaching the true 'heroes' of the realm, those labled as 'monsterous geniuses', being the childrens of main forces and the likes, two levels of talent beyond her own.

still, it was beyond anyone from the below realm could hope to accomplish, and even most commoners in the godly realms.

with such backup, her family and friends could enjoy their hobbies and turn it into profession. having 10,000 years is enough for anyone to count as a genius, as they all were. her sister managed her father 'small' land, her good friend went to the capital to learn architecture profesionally, and the other one bugged her incessly to share any drop of knowledge she knows about technology, bringing revolution to the stagnant cultivation world. her other sister, learning chemistry, roughly (she was not an expert of it herself, only gave some tips) had showed extreme promise to others as an alchemist genius, her pills better then others, purer and with better affect. even her dear brother, that brute, learned from her and became the splitting image of an actual protagonist, going around causing trouble everywhere. he even got the habit of leaving messages at the houses of the people he stole from to letting them know, something she encouraged herself and annoyed anyone else. becoming adept at stealing. though he would return most of it at our father complaint.

life was perfect, everything was well, i met more people, gained more friends and got strong enough. everybody went their own path. brother went traveling, sister started her own business, my sister got a mentor and went with him. still, there were others around me. my new friends always fought about whose cooking is better, so i encourged them to try new tastes and ways, and giving ideas, becoming their official judge, and sometimes helping with the simple stuff. one day i would get strong enough to go around the world and then visit anyone, so i didn't felt lonely and only focused on getting stroger

thats when the disaster(my point of view) struck. the few minutes of cultivations became hours, and hours entire night, and nights became days. as i got stronger i needed to cultivate more. the same went with enlightments. i was, as explained previously, very talented. as my cultivation grew stronger, i also gained more enlightments. at the time though, it was just a few seconds, just for noticing something, minutes mostly. then, came a day i had, for 3 hours, been looking at a tree, a sapling. it was some important tree that a friend of mine who loved gardening found, and it had some mystical powers beyond my -meager at the time- cultivation level. it was a blessing and a proof of my talent to be able to be enlightened even to a fraction about it, a treasure that would help me in the future, helping boost my cultivations and the like. still, i had spent 3 hours of my life looking a tree, 3 whole hours! and it only got worse

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

after leaving my home to tour the world (because that what it was for me), meeting my friends, siblings, making connections and enjoying learning from those wise people who are already better than me in many ways, while sharing my unique ideas which developed from being a jack of all trades learning from everyone and so had different thought proccess than the masters they became, making me still as valued as i was as a child, and all spoiling me, letting me barge into their life and learn a little (i knew so little incomparison to them none of what i wanted to know was confidental) i found those enlightments of mine only becoming worse. as i grew stronger and grew a few stages closer to touching the power of laws ever so slightly, barely, i began to have days of enlightments, forcing me to enter seclusions for this as well as cultivating. my sisters already gave me any pills i ask to grow stronger cultivating, but i needed to 'refine' them and having 'strong foundation'. both required cultivating.

after thousands of years of being like that, mostly bugging others and lazing around, learning, inspiring, and doing as i please, going to places with great view and the likes meeting interesting individuals, always avoiding treasures and giving all i have when finding something, and never walking in dangerous places alone, i was already considered being a 'bizzare' person. there were a few who were interested me, but none ever kept up with my randomness, so i never had a partner as i grew older. i enjoyed drinking and eating and even began to bother a well-known wine maker until she listens to what i said and make me a batch the way i want, paying her ofcourse.

the drink she made was so good, so heavenly, that i was enlightened. holding back and going to isolation at the risk of letting it slightly dissipate, it took a whole year of time, and it helped me stregthen my enlightening, a few stages later and at one point just looking at a mountain caused me to have enlightment! i had began to hold back since then, ignoring the drawbacks. it began from a few days, then months, then years, than, only after several small enlightments gathered annoying me, to until i had a big one i couldn't resist. at that point i was glad to let it dissipate. i was talented, i had more enlightment than the average person, and it only got stronger as i got stronger myself. still- it took my time, and it got longer as i grew older and found out just how many things in the world i don't know yet. i had no time to waste, even if i had, i didn't want to!

at one i point went to an isolation to breaktrough. when i went out, my sister married.

she married to a rude guy which always mocked me.

they always fought, he insulting, she defending.

i went to isolation for a few hundred years, not a lot at the time, all things considered, yet still too much in my view. when i went out, they still fought, but they were married.

she still defended, he still insulted, but it had a different flavor to it. the worst part was i didn't even notice. it took me years after i came back, to hear someone casually mention this- my own sister, married, and i didn't know!

it was at this point i began to hold off those things with a passion. enlightment? hang! i would learn a bit at a time instead of sleeping, the only reason i tried in the first place was the constant buzzing that was bugging me and that there is no way to get rid of this! than, as i learned more from my friend, i found even proffesions had enlightments! yet they were stuck at the back of the group, letting be unable to reach them right away.

working hard, i learned to pass my enlightments to others. it was a difficult teaching method which was more trouble than its worth, still, it did help, ever so slightly. sometimes a burst of enlightment would take over my speech, forcing me to say the principle to learn it, other time it just took over my train of thought, causing me to forget what i said or to look randomly into space as i fought it in my head- it became to be the same as a disease to me, though i gained my first title- the muse, one which i kept throughout my life.

at that time, i began to hold off cultivation and instead used my family and friends help to cultivate, though i kept it from them. pills, herbs, specialised foods, spiritual wine, energising arrays, special devices my friend made just to see if it would actually work or help.

having passed several stages like this, skimping on her foundations more and ignoring her enlightments, and even going to harmful enviroments that make it worse, and even getting poisoned- not a big deal for a cultivator- she began to have to seriously fight. it doesn't matter how much she wants to deny it, it is a cultivation world. and she had to fight with her life on her line several times as she got older. but now, her foundations are mixed and she wasn't good at in fighting in the first place, she barely survived, and though her sister used her pharmacy knowledge to heal her, there were some hidden, small, unimportant damages made. they kept piling up, chipping at her foundation that had barely held itself.

everything kept on festering under the surface, adding up little by little as she ignored it. a slight energy attack she didn't treat fast enough, a fatal hit reaching the bone and leaving a small mark after being healed, slight poisoning of a certain cell, too minor to even cause an affect big enough for her to notice to have it treated.

she was getting closer to death's door yet, even than, even with that negligence, she was still not there, she could still save herself. and so, after barely passing into a very important stage, one which was the reason why the realm was named as 'the realm of gods', and having someone check her 'affinity' for the next part by a trusted person, he looked at her and told her about her misdeed, that she could never truly be great and that every stage from now on would be a challenge, making it hard to even keep her life. he told her what she needs to do to fix it, giving her some hope about how she could survive, fixing that damage. then, he gave her a verdict- for as long as she continue the way she had, her cultivation would collapse and her life would leave her.

and so, she made the worst decision anyone in her position, any position actually, could ever make, dooming her death as inavitable.