True to what Shadowheart had said, Lae’zel woke them up at the crack of dawn when she started honing her blades. The sharp grinding sound pulled Hermey from the dark expanse of sleep he’d found himself falling into. Back home in the North Pole, sleeping felt like being tucked into a warm embrace against the cold, but here it felt more like trying to fight your own demons in the dark of the night.

Hermey rose to an elbow and looked out at the already bustling camp. Astarion stood on his own in front of his tent, a book open in his hands. While he occasionally flipped a page, Hermey saw his ears twitch occasionally, as though he was more interested in hearing the conversation that Wyll, Gale, and Shadowheart were having by the campfire. Karlach was also in front of her own tent, but rather than paying attention to the rest of them, she was simply dancing to herself.

Hermey pushed himself up from the ground, throwing his pants into the dirt - apparently sometime during the night, he’d grabbed them to use as a makeshift blanket. He supposed it was better than nothing, as he righted his shift-like shirt and started toward Karlach - she had been nice to him yesterday, after all, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for a crowd just yet.. The shirt didn’t offer him much in terms of modesty, especially compared to the multi-piece suit that he was used to wearing at all times, but he couldn’t deny that he was grateful for how cool it’d been in the night. He knew he shouldn’t feel bothered with modesty after last night, though - half of the camp had been running around in their underthings, so wearing the equivalent of a nightdress would certainly be plenty.

“Hey there, short stuff!” Karlach said cheerfully, stopping her dance midmovement to face him as he approached. He stopped several feet away from her tent - even from that distance, he could feel the heat radiating from her. What was it with this place and heat? “Get enough sleep?”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever have enough sleep to deal with this place,” he answered truthfully, rubbing his eyes. He was still exhausted in a way that felt like it radiated from his soul - something that even the best night’s sleep wouldn’t fix, and he certainly wouldn’t get that here.

Karlach chuckled. “Yeah, the ground is a bitch to get used to if you’ve spent your whole life sleeping in beds. But you’ll get used to it eventually.” She jumped lightly, swinging one foot back and then bobbing, throwing a couple of punches into the air. “You ready for today?”

Hermey rubbed his neck, trying to relieve the ache in his muscles. He wasn’t sure he believed Karlach about the whole getting used to sleeping on the ground thing, but anything was possible if he lived long enough to see it. “Did they decide what we were doing? Last I heard we were putting it up for a vote this morning.”

“Yep, we already did, and Lae’zel lost - hence why the angry sharpening,” she said, bobbing her head in the direction of Lae’zel’s tent. “I was kind of surprised that they didn’t wake you for it, but I think some people in this group have trust issues.” She stopped bobbing for a second as though she needed the stillness to think, then continued. “Well, most of us have trust issues in some way. It’s a wonder we’ve gotten this far without killing each other yet.”

“Is it because of the, you know,” Hermey said, tapping the left side of his head. While a part of him had definitely gotten used to that part of this, he realized, he still felt like he could feel the squirming in his head if he tried hard enough.

“The tadpoles? Probably. We don’t have to like each other if we all have the same goal, I guess. Although I am kind of surprised that Shawdowheart and Lae’zel haven’t killed each other yet.”

Hermey looked over at where Shadowheart still talked with Wyll and Gale. Her face was a schooled mask of calm, but he could sense from the way she tapped her fingers under her crossed arms that she was agitated. “Is there a lot of killing around here?” he asked, trying to keep his voice steady and failing.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

“Define a lot,” Karlach said, clearly not noticing his anxiety as she boxed the air. “Compared to Avernus, no, there’s hardly any. Compared to the way this North Pole place sounds, probably.”

Hermey didn’t know what this ‘Avernus’ was, and he was about to ask when he heard the sounds of feet approaching. He whipped around, ready to run if there was danger, but it was only the group who’d been talking by the fire.

“Good morning!” Gale said cheerfully, waving a hand at the two of them. At least with his long purple robes, Hermey thought, he wasn’t the only one wearing something akin to a dress. Although it looked like Gale felt significantly more at home with it than Hermey was. “How did you sleep?”

“Better than I would have expected, for sleeping on the ground,” Hermey said, forcing a smile to his face. He was happy to see them, after all - with Lae’zel and Astarion missing from the group for the moment, he was surrounded by people who solely wanted him around. That was only the second time in his life that had happened, he thought, his stomach sinking below even the dirt on the ground. Rudolph had never not wanted him around, except for when it was Hermey’s safety, and Hermey hadn’t even been able to find him when he went missing. He let the hope that Yukon Cornelius had found him flit through his heart before he put it away for now. Hope would do nothing but get him killed out here.

“Glad to hear it!” Gale said, finally reaching them and bending down to give Hermey’s shoulder a quick, reassuring squeeze. “I had a similar experience my first night out here. Compared to my tower in Waterdeep, the woods don’t have the best amenities. I debated conjuring a bed for myself, but that level of magic use would leave me woefully unprepared should we need to fight.”

Hermey swallowed, a knot instantly appearing in his throat. “Do you think we’re going to need to fight today?”

“Probably,” Gale said with a shrug. “But if it’s just a couple of goblins, that’s what we’ve got Karlach and Lae’zel for.” Hermey turned back to look at Karlach, who shot him a wink.

“You’re sending the women into the fight?” Hermey nearly yelped as his blood pressure spiked. What kind of world had he landed in? Back at the North Pole, in case there was ever an attack from the Abominable and Santa wasn’t around to fix it, the plan was for the women and children to hide in the back room while the men did whatever they could. He’d never even considered women joining a battle with them.

He heard Karlach sigh behind him as Shadowheart rolled her eyes behind Gale, and he turned just in time to see her pull her warhammer out of its strap on her back and slam it into the ground. Dirt flew around and they all shielded their eyes. When all that was left was dust, Hermey turned back to her and gulped. The hole in the ground from the strike of the hammer was nearly as big as he was. Noted.

“As demonstrated,” Gale said, still waving away the dust from in front of his face, “of course we’re sending out best fighters into the battles. Astarion, too, although his isn’t so much strength as it is…”

Gale trailed off, and Hermey turned to follow his eyes as Astarion joined their group. “His speed, his stealth, and his unnaturally good looks?” he finished for him.

“You took the words right out of my mouth,” Gale said, with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I highly doubt that even Mystra herself has that kind of power,” Astarion said, flashing him a quick grin that might have been closer to a snarl. “So, have we decided what we’re doing with our new snack, yet?” Astarion’s dark red eyes turned toward Hermey, and he instantly wished they wouldn’t have. While it looked to Hermey that he may have been trying to be nice, there was something almost predatory about the way the elf’s eyes swept over him.

“We are not deciding anything without asking him first,” Shadowheart scolded him.

“A pity,” Astarion said, his lips twitching into a small smirk.

“And that’s exactly what we were coming over here to ask, Hermey,” Wyll said. He took an almost microscopic step toward Hermey, but Hermey doubted that it would make any sort of a difference if Astarion decided that he wanted him dead. Wyll’s rapier hung at his side, and if Astarion was as quick as he claimed to be, he would be able to get to Hermey before Wyll was able to grab his weapon. Wyll took more more heartbeat to watch Astarion, then turned toward Hermey. “Astarion and Karlach stated that when they found you, you didn’t try to fight, and you had no weapons on your person. We just need to know if you have any fighting experience, and what kind of weapons you might use. We have a few spares around here, although not many, I’m afraid, though that might change when we get to the goblin camp.”

Hermey’s heart sank again, although not as far as it did when he thought of his friend. “No,” he admitted, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. “We never had a reason to fight back in the North Pole. Even when I left, the only thing we might have had to fight was the Abominable, and it was always a better bet to run from it than to fight it.”

Shadowheart and Wyll both looked like they wanted to ask some follow-up questions about what he’d said, maybe in an attempt to find out more about the threat of the Abominable, but Gale started before either of them could ask. “Of course,” he said, nodding sagely. “I’d figured as much after our conversation yesterday. However, if you don’t mind me indulging, I have an idea that I’d like to try out.”