Quinn wakes up early in the morning by force of training. She’s alert, she knew something was wrong, that the gaping maw she stares down at just yesterday night was going to close in on her and bites; swallowing her forever.

Yet, here she is. In the embrace of her target, enjoying the warm hug of her enemy, daring to hope. It has been such a long time since she dared, but she wants to. For reasons that put fear and bliss both in her heart, she wishes with all of her might that she can trust Ana to have confidence in her.

After all, she was honest and straightforward. Even if she doesn’t feel the same way as Quinn, she at least trusts her enough to invite her back to her room after such a revelation by her closest allies and advisers.

With that in mind, Quinn carefully pulls herself away from Ana, squashing down all regrets and doubts as she also puts back the letter from the Crown Prince—her impatient and arrogant client—to where she originally found it.

She was sure Ana won’t be persuaded by it, it was obvious that the letter seeks to force Quinn’s hands, all they need to do is to find a way out of it together, and they will be fine.

Quinn smiles at that idea, the idea that she no longer has to be alone, pretending she enjoys being looked upon with disdain, having all interactions ends up being nothing but hostile power play.

Still, the smile fades as she steels herself for the small chance Ana will betray her, an idea that cuts deep into her soul as she walks away, thinking of all the ways she can escape and end her in the process.

That kind of thinking moves her body into action, giving her reasons to be prepared not just to face Ana; but the entire battlements and escapes with her life. She has a few ideas already growing in her skull, she just needs a dozen more.

Each one of them must be simpler than the last, to make sure there’s as little need for the contingencies to be activated at all. She has walked the fortress enough times to know all the escapes, to recognize the route which the soldiers take when they keep watch.

Still, she does it again. Measure twice, cut once. And it helps, she notices small differences in their pattern and on the way they look at her. She thinks it’s a mistake at first, paranoia born out of a mind too focused on a task, a liability at a place so full of potential enemies.

However, Ana confirms her worst fear the next day they meet.

They both have been busy with their own business, with Ana trapped in a great many meetings and Quinn preparing herself for the worst outcome she can imagine in the entirety of her adult life.

There, on the next afternoon, Ana seeks Quinn out again before she can get out of the encampment to recheck the surrounding areas and how deeply the winter had affected them.

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Her offer was simple. “Do you mind sharing the table with me again this afternoon?” And undeniable.

With a smile, “But, of course!” Quinn accepted in a mock bow, hiding a sincere mirth brewing on her face. “Let us!” Something that is gone when she reaches out and Ana stiffen on her hand, instead of relaxing.

When Quinn tries to look at her face, she avoids the gaze instead, forcing Quinn into a corner of genuine confusion. Did she believe them? Is she afraid of me? Why is she acting like this?

A million questions pass through her brain with every step they take. Though, when Ana closes her door and they both have been seated, there’s only one way she can express them.

“Ana!”

“Yes?” she replied, her voice so innocent Quinn almost believe her lie.

“Have I… done something to antagonize you? Is this about me leaving the bed?”

“No,” she answers as she begins to eat, clearly signaling for Quinn to stop pursuing the topic, something that she does with a nod and a fake cheer. “Alright, then!” As she starts their usual ritual of small talks.

And again, signs that cause alarm to sounds in Quinn’s head rises. The woman was answering her, though only politely. The interest she holds for the conversation is seemingly out of pity more than anything else.

The same are true for their conversation after and their nightly activities. For a fortnight their ritual stands, but it stands empty. The candle wasn’t lit, the feeling that causes flutters in her stomach wasn’t gone, but churned and turned into something else.

Quinn understands why, though she didn’t dare to leave; finding the thought of being so far from Ana, whose touch these past weeks have been nothing but cold and practiced, almost bored: frostbite to the blossoming love in Quinn’s heart.

As the realization dawns on Quinn, she breathes a heavy sigh.

There’s no more denying it, she’s indeed fond of the woman.

Not just because of the contour of her face, the shape of her breast, the way their skin mingles and connects perfectly like it was always meant to be. It wasn’t just because how kind she has been treating Quinn, how willing she’s to die for her, how despite all the tough and cold behavior, she’s still one of the most thoughtful and loving person Quinn ever has the pleasure to meet.

Though, clearly, she has expected too much, too soon, and for far too little of a price. And while the woman trusts her still, she already knew Quinn was hiding something from her, and so does her council.

Secrets that even now, after they’ve seen each other naked and vulnerable, Quinn still guards jealously as if her life were entirely dependent on it. Perhaps they are, yet Quinn couldn’t find it in her to care, not anymore.

Secrets that she shall now use as payment.

She will bare herself free of masks and affectations, discarding all expectations and notions; so that she may see her true and unbidden, and judge her solely upon that.

With that thought in mind, Quinn stands up from the bed they share and walk to Ana’s side. The woman was sleeping peacefully still, a sign of confidence that makes Quinn feel more optimistic about her plan.

Accompanied by that warm feeling. “Ana.” She gently shakes her until she’s awake.

“Quinn?” she answers, motes of dream floating through her word still.

“Yes.”

“Is there something you need?”

“A quick talk, if you don’t mind.”

“I do not,” she swiftly sits up and drags herself back with caution coloring her face, giving Quinn a space to sit on the bed again.

Trying her best to ignore such an expression. “Thank you!” Quinn continues trudging forward, finding herself unwilling to stop the very thing that she has started in the hope of salvaging their relationship.

Ana nods, allowing Quinn to begin by pulling out a knife from thin air with a self-deprecating smile as she asks: “Now! Do you trust me, Ana?”