As I survey my pitiful domain, I must admit things could be far worse. At least I have my good health and comfort. I sit cross-legged in my unmade bed in the midst of my bedroom which is expansive, containing not only my enormous fourposter bed, but also a dining table with four chairs, a huge copper tub, and a lovely dark wooden set of drawers. Honestly, as nice as the room was, all cut stone and big windows looking out at a new sunrise, the amount of effort I had to go through to get all this stuff hauled in here without it getting smashed to pieces had made it almost not worth it. After all, I could have just made this stuff, woven it out of magic and will. It certainly would have been simpler, but alas I do enjoy sharing this reality with some things that are not of my creation, things that can remind me of the greater world outside of my own. I gesture to the tub
“Fill up now, the usual temperature it's going to be a long day I suspect. I’ll need to work off this maudlin mood of mine.”
Of course, the tub didn’t understand all that, but the prompt “Fill up” did cause it to fill with warm steamy water. Getting out of bed, I notice to my dismay that dust has begun to once again accumulate underneath the bed and in the corners of the room. Damnation, I cleaned the place two months ago yet here I find myself again. Mumbling about the annoyance of my humanity and how it caused the continual shedding of skin cells that accumulated as dust, I settle into the warm water and muse that the world is terribly unfair. I mean, of course, it's completely fair. I’m the one who created all the dust in a roundabout fashion and I’m the one who got themselves into this whole predicament. I sigh and decide to call for Butler.
My door opens, and the face of an eldritch horror peaks through. Large, black, owl-like eyes sit above a mouth full of glittering shark teeth framed by two mandibles, all of which was overlaid by a thick, sulfur yellow-colored exoskeleton.
“Yes, sir?” It said, the voice not coming from its mouth, there were no mouth movements, but rather seeming to emanate from the creature himself without any visible orifice.
“Clean up this dust, make the bed, and check for any faults in the windows I swear this sunrise is a few minutes too early.”
“Right away sir,” replied Butler as he strode into the room. He stands about 4 feet high, and overlapping plates of exoskeleton cover the rest of his body that appears to be generally humanoid if a bit more bulky around the shoulder area, and thinner around the waist then you would ever find in your average man or women. The rest of Butler is the same yellow as his face except for two azure stripes running down the back of his arms.
I close my eyes and relax in the bath as I try to ignore the rasping sounds of butler going about his business.
“Sir I’m afraid I have checked thoroughly, and the windows seem to be in perfect working order.”
Damn it, that means that I’ve begun to lose track of the days again; never a good sign. I’ll have to lay off the wakefulness enchantments pretty soon and take a short vacation from work if I don’t want to end up overdoing it and passing out again. It scared the lab scribes half to death the last time I did that, and I had to promise it wouldn’t happen again. They had threatened to pass electricity through me till I woke up next time around. Well honestly, they hadn’t threatened me I had told them to do that, and they weren’t really that scared. They weren’t really at the point where complex emotions were a capability they had. It was just nice to project things on them so that I felt less alone in here.
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
“Sir everything is complete. I’ve also located a small bit of meaning that seems to have come attached to the tub. What would you like me to do with it?”
I open my eyes and see Butler standing next to me cradling what seems to be a few flecks of copper in his hand, though it was hard to make out against the yellow of his chitin.
“Man, I really have been enjoying these baths, I guess. Alright, Butler, put it in the offering tray for The Whale; it will add some weight to his monthly snack. Who knows, maybe that will make him a little more cheerful.”
“Yes sir.” he replies in a flat tone that I choose to interpret as slightly condescending.
“You’re quite right Butler. I really should get out of this bath and head to the lab. The work won’t do itself, and just sitting around will drive me mad!” I say and start laughing. Butler grabs me firmly with his free hand and shakes me until I stop.
“Thank you, Butler.”
———————————————————————————-
As I step into the lab, I reflect upon whether instructing Butler to stop my laughing was a good idea. Usually, I wear myself out in about a half-hour if I don’t lapse into tears, but it is terribly inefficient to sit around feeling sorry for oneself, and I have work to do.
The lab was large and fairly bare, all dark stone floors layered in neat geometric patterns. There are a few raised stone tables spaced around the lab with different objects on them, mostly severed body parts. All of the tables have a few creatures similar to Butler clustered around them, with the only visual difference being that they are all a uniform sky blue. Closer inspection revealed that their hands had much finer plates of chitin covering them, allowing for a wider range of movement than Butler was capable of. Some of the creatures were beside the tables slowly moving or manipulating the objects while the others looked on with expressions of intense focus. There is always one in each group that takes careful notes on a long scroll of thin paper, writing down numbers that are whispered to it by random group members. One of the groups straighten up and look over at me expectantly. I stroll over and look directly at the member holding the scroll. in the creature’s eyes, a small bit of glittering silver can be seen.
“So you’ve finished the measurements on object 34, eh? I had hoped those would be done by the time I got back here. Are the patterns activating as I suspected, or are we going to have to do a deeper deconstruction?”
“We are noticing steady activation in the areas you noted as well as area B-5 which you noted is probably used for some kind of friction reduction. We suspect it is related to the function.” The Scribe droned back, “ We are fairly confident that we can move on to live testing to check energy efficiency and merely await your permission to proceed.”
“Alright, but limit the testing to between energy levels one and three or the costs begin to outweigh the benefits.”
I glance down at object 34, a raggedly severed index finger covered in light green skin. It had probably come from one minor Feyling or another during one of the battles near the end. I had given the command to grab whatever bits of the dead non-humans that could be safely removed and transported. The pieces were a wealth of information just waiting to be teased out with slow methodical prodding and experimentation. This particular digit had shown unlikely flexibility and grip strength during its breakdown. I suspect this Feyling had a particular focus on something requiring a great deal of both of those qualities, perhaps an archer or a climber. It didn’t particularly matter now; after all, it is just a finger.
Another of the blue creatures drew near to me, this one has come from a door in the back of the room and did not seem to be affiliated with any of the research teams. This was further confirmed when we made eye contact and a coppery gleam could be seen in his eyes.
“Sir, important news for you from the Seal room.”
“ Shit, have we triggered the Seal? I knew the probes we used this round might activate a fail-safe, but I had hoped they wouldn’t this time. Alright, how much have we lost before it could be shut down? I swear if the Borer has lost any more assistants I’m going to have to redo some of his basic patterns.”
“No, Sir, the Borer wishes to inform you that he has found a pore in the seal and he requires your presence immediately.”