“Why are you here Caroline?” It was strange seeing her act that way although I hadn’t seen her in a year.
“W-well,” she winced as she stuttered out her response. “I just had to come and make sure you were alright.” She followed her words with a smile.
I sat in silence, I was unconvinced. She must have been having a rough time. Her hair was well groomed, but she’d pulled it into a tight bun. If it were her in the past she never would have done that. She always complained that putting her hair up gave her headaches. And her normally simple but feminine clothes were replaced with a cheap button up utility shirt and some mens sweatpants. They were oversized and hung on her awkwardly, her limbs looking even thinner by comparison. I sighed, stood up and grabbed a couple glasses from my cupboard.
“Water or juice?”
“Water… please.”
“You don’t look like yourself, have you been having a hard time? Did you borrow Reid’s clothes?” I tried to ask casually, despite myself I was worried about her. A small ember of anger echoing She just shows up on my doorstep like this after a year? As if nothing happened? In my head as it was fanned into a small flame.
I grabbed my water pitcher out of the mostly empty fridge and glanced back at her. “How has this last week treated you, things have been a bit crazy right?” I asked as the tone lowered as the water level rose its sound felt oddly loud in the gap of conversation. I started filling mine after setting hers on the bar in front of her.
She stared at me blankly so I continued filling the dead air, “God, I nearly killed myself trying to grind some levels in the Underhollow.” I paused to give her a chance to jump in, wondering if she just came to listen to me talk.
“Did you not become a Candidate? I suppose not everyone would be, that might be better. It's hard to imagine you in the Underhollow fighting horned rabbits and slimes.” I laughed as I shuddered at the idea of slimes. Somehow even though I’d killed so many of them I had become even more adverse to the vile creatures.
I sat down across from her again with a small smile, it was hard not to smile as I thought of her awkwardly trying to fight monsters. She was cupping her glass and staring down at it, a loose strand of her blonde hair slipping down and brushing her knuckles. I chuckled awkwardly, “I mean don’t get me wrong, I just worry you might get hurt is all. It's a rough place if you’ve gone you’d understand it isn’t fun. Well… I guess it could be in some ways.”
She was looking at me like I was speaking Martian, I furrowed my brows. That flame of anger was growing, I was doing my best to ease the awkwardness and she wasn’t giving me anything. “What? Why are you acting like this? I’m trying to be nice despite everything. Did you just come here because you and Nicole had a falling out or something? Like seriously this is-”
Caroline’s hands came crashing down on the table suddenly as she nearly lept off of her perch on the stool. Her pale face was getting more and more red as she screamed. “You are so stupid! I knew you were reckless, but seriously Mia! What the hell? A week? It's been a day! We became Candidates this time yesterday, and the first thing I did-” she choked as her words got caught in her throat. “And you’re being nice?” Her eyes were welling up, she grimaced and looked away. She angrily wiped at her tears as she made her way over to my couch.
I was frozen just watching her as she latched onto a throw pillow. I blinked several times trying to process what I’d just heard. A day? My mind boggled as I tried to wrap it around the concept of the last week being only a day. I looked back over at her, she had a death grip on that pillow. It was like a rug had been pulled out from under me, I’d never seen her lose her composure this much.
Sure she was awkward at times when any sort of physical activity came up but other than that she was the picture of someone with their shit together. My hand was shaking as it found the top of my chair and pushed me to my feet. It was hard to get my thoughts together as my chest ached and my feet found their way to her.
“Are you alright? Do you need anything?” I squatted in front of her and reached out to console her but stopped, I had never been good at this kind of thing.
“No, I am not alright.” She snapped.
“Well, what do you want me to do? Stop the gods from turning our world into some sick game?” I threw back.
She glared at me for a moment before rolling her eyes at my comment with a scoff, “Seriously, that is what you got from what I just said?”
I gritted my teeth, I knew that wasn’t what she meant but I couldn’t put it into words. I was angry. It’s not like she had been there for me since everything happened. Why was she putting in effort now that I had finally gotten used to everything?
She took a deep breath, centering herself before continuing, “How could you just… Go down there? Without anyone else? You’re crazy…”
“Well it’s not like anyone else was around were they?” I spat out sarcastically.
“How is that my fault?!” Caroline roared, tears pooling in her eyes again. I could tell that despite her, sadness was overtaking her anger.
“You think visiting me because of something like this would just gloss over everything?! After everything I was going through! I mean it had only been a couple weeks after mom,” I paused, turning away before finishing that sentence, “died.” I couldn’t look at her while I cried about this. My pride wouldn't allow me to.
“That is not fair. I was grieving too, we were all going through it. And seriously? Trying to be nice despite everything?! You just up and disappear without a word one day randomly and now you’re saying you’re being nice despite everything? I tried to get a hold of you but you never responded and I was trying my best to be understanding and give you your space. I mean she was your mom and I get you were going through a lot but-”
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
Old painful memories were dredged up and stung at the back of my mind. I frowned, and pushed them back down. “Wait wait stop. What do you mean without a word? I talked to y’all the day before I left. You know why I left. And you seriously have the nerve to say that you get that I was going through a lot? After everything that happened and you took Nicole’s side, seriously?! Especially since it was only a couple weeks after…” I stopped, or more like I couldn’t continue. Part of me felt pathetic for not coming to terms with the loss after all this time while another reignited the anger I felt over everything all over again.
“What are you talking about? I know you and Nicole didn’t always get along but how did I take her side? And how would I know why you left if you don’t tell me? Honestly, I thought you just needed some time alone to grieve, I always thought you’d approach us when you were ready.”
I sighed and lifted an eyebrow at her, but she merely threw her hands up. So slowly, I started summarizing the event in question, “You and Nicole were roommates, a week before I left you called me to go grab something from your place and I ran into Nicole while I was there that night. And I saw… them. That's why I left, obviously. We talked about this.”
Her light brown eyes narrowed at me, “Saw them? What?”
“Them! Together! Her and Theo just …” I didn’t want to finish the sentence, I guess I still had a lot of emotions surrounding it. “I couldn’t grab whatever it was you asked for and I ran out and I called you. You didn’t pick up and I just left a voicemail about it and went home, after that the next day you and Nicole showed up with cookies talking about how happy you were that this finally came out. I am sorry I lost my temper there and really destroyed those cookies, but if I hadn’t I definitely would have punched her in her stupidly smug face.” I sighed looking at my floor, “You know… she smiled when I walked in on them. I don’t get why you would want to be friends with such a…” I had a bitter smile that faded when I looked up to find Caroline shocked and crying again.
“Why are… Is something going on? Are you okay? I’ve never seen you this emotional since that bastard Liam stood you up for junior prom.” I teased her, she didn’t cry that night but she had gotten angry and drunk at the after party. Which I learned about from the various videos she sent me, I was never one for after parties. Even though I had a lot of mixed emotions with her now at one point she was the only person I really had, I couldn’t help but fall back into our old rhythm.
“I didn’t know… Oh my god everything makes sense now.” Her words felt like ice water and shocked me out of the complacency I was slipping back into. It was frustrating to see her act oblivious after all this time. I rolled my eyes as I got up, I didn’t want to talk about it anymore.
Caroline caught my arm and pulled me to the couch next to her. “No, Mia. Please just listen to me for a minute. Remember that night, I didn’t text you, I DMed you. I had left my phone at home because I grabbed the wrong purse on the way to work. I never got any responses from you for like an hour so I asked Nicole to bring my bag. When she showed up she was rambling about how you made a fuss at our place and broke up with Theo. She was complaining about how you got mad at her because she told you it was for the best. I didn’t have a voicemail or missed call on my phone at all. I never heard it I swear!”
My thoughts were spiraling, but it was plausible. “Wait… but why that day when I met up with you because you wouldn’t stop texting me to meet you before leaving town, why did you say that it was good that everything happened and it was over now? I mean you even said that Nicole was right. Plus you said you were happy it finally came out the day after I saw them. Did you just not like Theo? Is that why you got so mad when I said I was leaving and didn’t want to talk to you anymore?” I longed to believe her, that my oldest and best friend hadn’t betrayed me. My mind was wrestling with my heart and it felt like their war would swallow me whole.
“Well duh, Theo was an ass. I never liked that guy” she chuckled, “He was the worst and didn’t treat you well so I was happy that you ended it, I thought you finally realized how much he sucked. Nicole told me the reason you were mad was because he was texting someone else and she said that we both hated him the whole time. I thought you were upset because I didn’t tell you that I thought you should leave him but I told Nicole. And obviously I’m going to be pissed if you just up and notify me that you’re leaving and don’t want to be friends anymore! Seriously!” she let out a frustrated sigh and squeezed my hands, “Why didn’t you ask me directly about the cheating?”
I dropped my head into my hands, at some point I must’ve started crying too as my face was already wet with my tears. It was beyond shocking, this whole time I’d resented the closest person to me for something she never did. A cold hand started rubbing my back, it was comforting even though I’d always hated how cold her hands were.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” We echoed back and forth to each other as we collapsed into a pile on the couch. She rambled on about her side of things, how Nicole lied to her and how she tried to reach out but I was upset that she was fine with Nicole. How she’s wanted to talk to me this whole time but I never gave her the chance. How heartbroken she was when I broke off our friendship. Part of me was worried, what if she was lying? But I’d known her for years, that's why it hurt so much when it first happened. My chest ached as I thought back over the past with a new lens. A gentle kiss met the top of my head, it dulled the pain.
“So did she delete the voicemail from your phone, you think?”
“She must’ve, you know I keep my ringer on so they probably heard the call after you left. I guess she didn’t want there to be drama since I was her roommate... Did Theo try to talk to you about ya know, him and her?”
I scoffed, “Yeah, he ran after me straight away. He didn’t even take the time to get proper clothes on and ran out in the cold in his boxers, that was kinda satisfying. He rambled about how this was the first time he had been drinking and I don’t know if he said he thought I was going to be over there? I don’t remember it well.”
“Do you think he was telling the truth? Clearly he was a cheater but I feel like I should’ve noticed if they had been together for a while.”
I shrugged, “Eh. You were working a lot at that time so there’s no telling.” I groaned, “I cannot believe I just thought you would have done that to me. I mean obviously Nicole would do something like that but”
“Nicole that little…” she muttered.
“Are you guys still…?”
“No, when our lease was up I moved out, we were fighting a lot after you left and she kept shit talking you so I couldn’t stay there anymore. I always thought that you must have been upset about something else and just needed time. I thought if I just gave you time you’d come back…” Her words stung, I felt like an idiot. Why didn’t I communicate more? For the first time in a year me and Caroline laughed and chatted and cried together as we rekindled our broken relationship. I finally let the tension that had built up over the last week go.
“OH! Oh yeah, what do you mean it’s only been a day?!” I had nearly forgotten about that conversation point, it’d likely been hours since we started catching up. Caroline’s expression dropped and she handed me her phone. The date was Saturday September 2nd, it was baffling. I had just spent a week killing myself over a quest and it had actually only been a day? I looked up at Caroline, she pressed her lips into a thin line taking her phone back. “So a week huh? The time difference is weird.” She prodded, trying not to show the concern on her face as she glanced at the floor.
“Yeah…” I trailed off as my mind wandered, before I could continue Caroline pointed towards my feet and asked “So uh… I was trying to wait till you brought it up yourself… but what's this? We should talk about what you’ve been doing this past ‘week’ don’t you think?” My gaze followed her finger to my familiar that rested on the floor at my feet.