Chapter 1

Vow

  I had never seriously considered suicide until this moment. With a lethal dose of morphine at my disposal, I could end all my problems painlessly. My constant state of fear from infected pounding on the walls haunted me every night. Their faces etched into my nightmares. A full week had passed since the outbreak had spread to California. My parents were researchers at WHO and had gone to the lab late that night. They never returned. For 3 days after that night, I had been a wreck. I didn’t eat or sleep. I was scared shitless. The only thing that kept me from killing myself was my baby brother, Noah. Whenever the thought of suicide popped into my head, I reminded myself that if I took my own life, he would slowly starve to death. I was the only person left in the world who could take care of him. The only way I would be able to kill myself without any guilt would be to smother him so he dies a quick and painless death. Just the thought alone made me sick to the stomach. How selfish could I possibly be, I thought to myself. I had to be strong for my brother’s sake. I made a vow that day, that no matter what, I would always protect him.

  Electricity was out, and the fact that I was stuck in a 2 bedroom apartment meant that I had a lot of free time on my hands. I spent the majority of it thinking and planning. My first question was, “What is my goal?” I’m trying to ensure that my brother and I are able to make it out of this alive and well. In order to that, we would need to wait out the virus for as long as possible. I need to figure out how long we can last given the amount of food and water we currently have. The very first thing I realize is half the food in the fridge is useless. Fuck. Since the electricity is out, all the food had gone bad. Had I been smarter, I could’ve realized this sooner. I salvage a few edible items. Then I check the non-perishables. We have plenty of snacks. Chips, granola bars, peanuts, and animal crackers. We also have some canned peaches and spam. If I ration, I could probably scrape by with a little less than 3 weeks. Thankfully, my brother has his own food. They’re little Gerber food packs that don’t need to be kept cold or need to be heated up. They don’t spoil for a long time, and luckily, my parents bought plenty of it. My brother could easily survive a month if he rationed 2 meals a day instead of 3.

  However, there was a bigger problem. Water. Unlike food, you can’t really ration it. It’s much easier to dehydrate than it is to starve. Water also takes up a lot more space. I hadn’t considered this before the water shut off. All we had left were 3 dozen bottled waters, saved in case of a hurricane or some other natural disaster. Grateful that we won’t dehydrate, I figure I can drink half a bottle a day and my brother can drink a quarter. That gives me less than 2 weeks.

  Although 2 weeks is incredibly short, it should be enough time for me to figure out a way to gather more supplies. The most obvious way is to simply leave the building and find places to raid. The most obvious problem is that I would probably get killed before I even got both feet out the door. Maybe I could wait it out? Maybe they could cure the virus before our 2 weeks and everything will be ok. Although it was a possibility, the likeliness of that happening was slim. I needed a concrete plan that would have a guaranteed or at least a very high chance of success. So in order to get more supplies, I would need to physically exit the building. I can’t exit through the front door. Even after a week, I could still hear the sounds of fists pounding on the wall and the occasional scream. They were still present in the building and they weren’t going anywhere anytime soon. That only leaves the windows and the balcony. An exit from the windows would be impossible. Not only are they extremely small windows, but there’s also nothing to hang on to. There’s no ledges I can slow my fall with. Even though I live on the 5th floor (the lowest floor), a drop from this height would most definitely break my legs which is practically the same thing as handing myself over to the infected. That only leaves the balcony. As I step outside the balcony, I get an idea. An extremely stupid idea that will probably get me killed.

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  From my balcony, directly to the right, is my neighbor’s balcony. Not directly to the right, I suppose. There’s a 15-foot gap between us. Even in a hypothetical situation where I have a running start and no walls to block me, that’s a risk I wouldn’t want to take. If I slip up and die, my brother will be the one to suffer, not me. That leaves me with Plan B. The balcony directly above me. Even though getting up the balcony itself is harder, the distance between my railing and the ledge above is only about 5 or 6 feet. If I can find a way to secure myself onto the rail and figure out a way to get back onto my balcony safely, it would be a good chance to buy us a couple more days. I settle upon a hanger and an ethernet cable. I knot the cable to the hanger in order to create a makeshift grappling hook. I know that if I put all my weight onto the hanger, it will snap. Its only purpose is to guide me and to act as a safety net in case I fuck up. I’ll use the cable to support myself for a brief moment while I use the railing and ledge to jump up. To get down, I’ll hang off the side and use the cable to slowly descend until my foot makes contact with the rail. It’s definitely risky but I have no other choice at the moment.

  As I climb onto the rail, I start getting second thoughts and my hands start sweating as I realize a small mistake could cost me and my brother’s life. As my hand grips onto the ledge of the balcony above, the hanger slightly breaks off. This scares me to the point where I’m frozen in fear. No turning back now. Using every ounce of courage that I could muster, I let go of the railing and jump up. My left-hand shoots up faster than it ever has in my life and I manage to catch the rail. Slowly, I pull myself up. And at that moment, I realize all the flaws in my stupid plan. The best-case scenario is that no one is inside the apartment and there are ample supplies. Great. However, what if there was still a healthy person inside? Would they help me or kill me? What if there was an infected inside? How would I even get inside, to begin with? I would have to smash the sliding door to get in but I don’t think my knuckles are strong enough to break the glass. As these thoughts enter my mind, I manage to see the inside of the apartment. The sliding door was wide open and the drapes were pulled back so I could see everything inside without having to commit. Another fatal flaw in my plan that could’ve cost me my life. As I scan the room, I notice that the entire place is a wreck. I can rule out the possibility that there’s a healthy person in there. He most likely got killed or fled when he had the chance. That’s when I see it. The actual door to the apartment is wide open. Before my brain can even process what that means, a slender figure that had been standing by the wall the entire time moves. I’m paralyzed with fear. My only option is to drop down the ledge to the safety of my apartment. But as I look down, I see the drop which only makes me more afraid. My heart is beating out of my chest. My hands are so sweaty I may as well have just washed my hands. The infected walks towards me, with nothing but bloodlust in his eyes. I grab the cable and prepare to drop down when it snaps. I look back up to see him charging at me with his teeth bared. I let go of the railing and go into a freefall. Everything seems to go in slow motion as I fall. I reach out for the railing from my apartment. I miss. This is it. Then I see the cable hanging down from the railing. I had tied down the base of the cable in case this very thing happened. I quickly grab the thin ethernet cable and grab the edge of the railing pulling myself back into the comfort of my own home. Had I held on to the cable a second longer, it would have snapped.