"You are aware of how the Ixtral empire loves to challenge everyone they can to unarmed combat duels correct? When the humans had just been contacted some Ixtral snob challenged them to provide a champion with no mechanical augments. Figuring it was just the standard galactic greeting the humans accepted."

"Without bionics they're not that tough though right? What's the catch?"

"They can drastically alter their bodies, but were you aware they can outright swap them?"

"Wait seriously?"

"Yes. I believe they refer to it as 're-sheathing.' The humans held a tournament to select a fighter to represent them. When it was time to fight the Ixtral representative they changed into a body specifically grown for that fight."

"Ah. I think I can see where this is going."

"With no considerations to the standard mechanical augments or the standard genetic changes for toxin filtering, lifespan, or numerous other factors, they could make the body less overall complex. That meant they could make it bigger, stronger, and more durable, at least in the short term. Nowhere near their general standards, but strong enough considering the imposed limitations."

"What species did the Ixtral send to this assisted suicide?"

"The Ixtral sent an olath."

"Mh. Strong, but if their chitinous plates are hit with enough force to cave inward it's almost certainly fatal."

"Correct. I think the human fighter was expecting more physical resistance. Their first two attacks were dodged. They did not need to make a fourth. They seemed rather shocked at the 'ease' with which their opponent was downed. They were not even aware at the time that the single punch had eviscerated their internal organs."

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"So there I was, walking along with Jake. He was wearing very covering clothing, to the extent that one might plausibly think he was a young of another species rather than a human, they are fairly small after all."

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

"This is the guy who lost his left arm because a spaceship fell on him and he decided to have the arm entirely replaced instead of regrown right?"

"Indeed. So we're just walking along, and guess what? We get mugged. Or rather, they attempt to mug us, me and 'my child.'"

"I'm guessing that didn't go well for them."

"James takes one look at the leader of the lot, and he jabs them in the knee. From over 5.7 meters away."

"What? His arm telescoped out or something?"

"Yeah. The guy's knee was just gone. Not broken, gone."

"Humans are terrifying huh?"

"Yeah. Excellent friends, but to their enemies, a rock is more empathetic. Anyway, apparently, they're working on adapting their augments to our various physiologies, but it'll be a while."

"Because their augments depend on their resilience in order to work in the first place right?"

"Indeed. They're not very big or strong, not before modifications anyway, but they've always been durable. Their nervous systems especially."

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"So since people started being able to conjure that blue gas-ish stuff there's been like three doomsday cults, but other than that everyone's pretty much just shrugged and carried on yea?"

"Yes, your point?"

"I've noticed something. Since then, everyone seems healthier. Not much, but the timings line up."

"Hm. Now that it's pointed out, it does seem true that the average person I pass by on the streets does seem slightly healthier. Could easily be coincidence, confirmation bias, or simply too small sample size, but it does seem to be the case."

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"They survived? You're telling me you can't even kill a human when things go wrong?"

"They simply shrugged off the explosives."

"Please tell me at least they bought the attack being random speciesism, not something more coordinated?"

"Yes, the person and the news coverage seem convinced of that."

"Good. Everything has been cleaned?"

"Within two degrees of separation. It's not like there isn't always plenty of other people desperate for scraps."

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"Ya know, isn't galactic union a kinda pretentious name when only like a tenth of the galaxy's been mapped?"

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"The hacking attempt failed then?"

"I don't think it was even noticed."

"You implied it failed."

"It failed so badly it didn't register as an attack."

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*Sigh* "Rule 122: No filling hallways with gelatin."

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"It seems slightly unethical for our first proper tests of this thing to be as a weapon."

"Yes, but it is neat."

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"You know, one of the core tenets of the TGC is 'you must always be ready to escalate harder and faster than your enemy if you are to survive' for a reason."