The Mordor War was a military conflict fought between the United States of America and the Dark Land of Mordor in the years 2022-2028. The official cause of the war was Sauron's failure to comply with UN resolution 3496 banning the forging and proliferation of Rings of Power.
Almost immediately after the American invasion started, widespread protests sparked all over the world, denouncing the war as a racist attack on the last Orc nation on the planet and hinting the true motive for the invasion was America's desire to take over the ancient secrets of Dark Sorcery for corporate use.
US officials denied the allegations and claimed the invasion was part of the greater War on Darkness, citing the rise of despair and madness in the world, as well as scientific proofs that the sky considerably darkened over the decade since the alleged forging of the Ring.
Five days into the protests, a CNN report exposed that most of the demonstrations were financed and organized by the alleged war criminal Morgoth. This had significantly undermined the protests' influence on American public opinion and enabled the US government to send more troops and Tolkienist consultants to the war zone.
A tragic and unforeseen side-effect of this report was the rise of anti-dark sentiments in America, which resulted in many heavy metal and fantasy fans being assaulted and killed in the streets.
Mordor, whose regular army was technologically inferior to the US forces and numbered only tens of thousands, responded with an unprecedented campaign of terror and guerrilla warfare. Thousands were killed in the first two weeks of the fighting and hundreds were enslaved to the alleged power of the Dark Ring.
Especially demoralizing were the terror attacks carried out by the nine ringwraiths, whose invisibility and incorporeality made them practically impossible for law-enforcement agencies within the US to locate and neutralize. Of special infamy were the Yearly Tolkienist Convention Massacre (see "Ironic Attack, The" for more details) and the Siege of the White Tower, in which the whole Nine gathered to launch a devastating attack on Washington DC, leaving 347 people dead, including President Google Moon. Many of Washington's historic landmarks were also vandalized during the attack.
The siege was eventually broken when a young White House intern named Emile Stone managed to slay the nine's Black Captain, which caused the ringwraiths to retreat to Mordor for reorganization. Many of the survivors became less and less real until eventually disappearing altogether.
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Later that year, a scandal erupted regarding the alleged torture of a number of Orcish POWs who were questioned regarding a possible cure for the condition. However, it was latter proved that the videos used as evidence for the alleged abuses were counterfeits created with the dark sorcery and the unbending will of Sauron. Sauron was not available for comments, but Warlord Muzh'zahagan told AP, "my master's will is law; that which he wills becomes so." Many legal commentators assumed this cryptic statement was actually made to support an insanity plea in case Sauron was captured and tried for crime against humanity.
These attacks and numerous other scandals had a devastating effect on American public morale, which delayed further troop deployment to Mordor and increased military causalities from Orc and Dragon attacks. Concurrently, nationwide protests broke out in the US under the motto "where is the ring?," a reference to growing public impatience with the CIA's failure to locate any Rings of Power allegedly forged by Sauron, raising concerns regarding the legality of the war. The idiom "like a ring in Mordor" was born at the time when Lt. General Robert Williams responded to an allegation made by a CBS reporter with the words "how the hell can you spot a goddamn ring in the Dark Land of Mordor?!"
Videos of slain dragons being incinerated by US troops caused massive protests by PETA and related organizations under the motto "don't let them kill the dragons!" Five policemen and twelve protesters were killed during the protests.
With American casualties mounting and unsettling images of war drums made from human skin or marines corrupted into cannibalistic abominations spreading on popular web sites, President Zhao Xin-Lewinski ordered the beginning of "Operation Sun Ray," which was denounced by the UN as genocidal and devastating to Mordor's unique darkness-based ecology. Pressure notwithstanding, the operation commenced, killing millions of Orcs and toppling the historic fortress of Cirith Ungol (UNESCO World Heritage Site since 2026). The operation, however, failed to break the might of Mordor as the concentrated darkness of Barad-dûr could withstand even the sunlight, as it had withstood countless conventional bombardments before.
The war finally came to an abrupt end when a group of illegal Orc immigrants led by the human human rights activist Jean-Paul Malebranche managed to destroy the original U.S Constitution in the elemental fires of Mount Rushmore, which resulted in the immediate fall of the United States and the dispersion of its forces.