I stared at the phone in my hands. It still had no reception or internet. But the email notification proved that the problem wasn't with my phone, it was the location I was in.

Does this mean I was just in an area with bad reception?

Wait. Does this have something to do with the time loop? Like it's blocking the area off somehow? If I go far enough, would I be able to break free from it?

My heart pounded at the thought. All thoughts of checking the email were forgotten. I grabbed both oars firmly and rowed towards the opposite shore with renewed energy. The rain was drizzling down persistently, making the oars slippery on my hands.

A profound sense of relief washed over me. I had tried not to think about the time loop since there was nothing I could do, but the idea that I might be stuck repeating the same hour for eternity had been weighing heavily on my mind. It was a fate worse than death.

At first, I wanted to deny it, to dismiss it as a hallucination. But running away from reality disgusted me. Sure, I frequently twisted reality to conform to my worldview. I could even justify all the distasteful actions I’ve done for my own convenience. But I had never rejected reality in its entirety.

Since I had to accept it, as unbelievable as it was, I twisted my perspective of the time loop. I only thought about the positive aspects, thinking of it as a second chance. But deep down I was afraid. I could admit that now. That I was afraid I was doomed to stagnate, like a hamster running in a hamster wheel.

A moment of inattention sent the raft spinning wildly. I spent some time correcting its course, cursing myself.

Although receiving the email right then might just be a coincidence, I chose to believe it was a clue to breaking free from the time loop. I needed to believe it. I needed to believe that the time loop was somehow messing up my phone, and that the email I had just received was because I had travelled far enough away for its influence to waver. If I could only cross this river, everything would go back to normal. Burning to death, being run over, the weird weather, everything will just be a bad memory, a passing dream. The boy's death too, would be…

The boy... He must be dead by now, huh?

This was supposed to be a practice run. I told myself I would turn back once I found a viable way to cross the river. I wouldn’t really abandon the boy to his fate. Would I? Could I?

I glanced down at the time. It was 11:45. According to my estimation, the raft would run aground in another 5 minutes. Which meant I would have 10 minutes to reach the tower afterwards. It would be a bit tight, but doable. I didn’t even need to do it this run. If I practice my rowing a few more times in future runs, I could do it faster and would have even more time to spare. Enough to take a shower, change to a spare suit, and compose myself before the presentation.

It would be perfect. All I had to do to bring that bright future to fruition was ignore the boy's death. Saving him would just take too long. By the time I grabbed all the balloons, it would be 11:30. The fire would start at around 11:40. Even if I sprinted with all my might after saving the boy, it was physically impossible to reach the left path before the fire started. And so…

Could I leave the boy to his death? My lips twisted to a bitter smile.

Deep down I knew I could. Wasn’t I doing it right now? Even while I debated this, my body was still rowing, bringing me closer to the opposite shore.

I told myself it was just to check, and I would turn back. But this wouldn’t be the first time I’ve lied to myself. I thought I might break out of the time loop if I could only reach the tower before noon. But I was lying to myself then too. I needed a way to stave off despair. Even if it was a false hope. Who knew that I was actually on to something? That timely email was a sign I’m on the right track, wasn’t it? It felt like one. Or was I lying to myself again?

It doesn’t matter regardless. What matters is I believe I would break out of the time loop once I reach the opposite shore. I should turn back now. It’s not too late.

I kept rowing.

Stop!

I heaved on the oars, grunting with effort. I couldn’t stop myself. My body knew what I really wanted. I want to reach the tower, deliver my presentation smoothly, get promoted to CMO, and forget all this had ever happened.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

I had already abandoned the boy, and my mind was playing catch up. I abandoned him this run, and even before that, on the very first run. Didn't I leave the boy to his fate even though I knew it was dangerous? I didn't know he would die of course, but I knew jumping around like that was dangerous.

The rain grew heavier, the sound of raindrops on the river filling the world around me. It was dark now, as dark as night despite still being near noon. It was dark enough that I had trouble seeing where I was going. The Stratos Tower shone like a beacon in front of me, a beckoning lighthouse showing the way to a bright future.

I tucked both oars inside the raft. It had enough momentum to reach the shore even without my intervention and I was afraid I would mess it up. I closed my eyes and cradled my head in my arms, wracked with guilt and indecision.

For my own future, I had given my best effort in anything required of me. I sacrificed free time to study, sacrificed my social life for work, even went against my conscience for success. For my bright future, I would do anything… even leave a boy to suffer certain death. It wasn’t my fault. This was just the shape of the world. Survival of the fittest. Even though it had been cloaked under a veneer of civility in recent times, the world had always been about survival of the fittest.

It was about competition. Even just being born involved competition. I recalled what my former colleague told me—that the probability of a specific egg and sperm cell meeting was 1 in 400 quadrillion. He was a bastard, but he had a point. To live is to struggle, to compete.

If you want a safe, easy life, you need a good job. Getting a good job meant competing with others for the same job. There was nothing wrong with that. Competition was crucial to differentiate wheat from chaff.

As my parents often tell me, I had to be the best. There was no place for weak-willed sympathy for your competition. There was nothing wrong with putting yourself first. Everybody does that.

A dark chuckle escaped my lips. Even the people I’ve condemned recently did no wrong. The cars on the street and crowd around the demolition site weren’t obligated to help. They were putting themselves first—as they should. It was foolish of me to expect aid from them. It was even more foolish to be disappointed and condemn them for refusing. The world is not that soft. So why was I hesitating?

Just abandon the child. Why was it my responsibility to prevent his death in the first place? I didn't cause it. He chose to leap headlong into his death. Even after I explained it all to him and he knew he would die; he chose to jump anyway. Why should I bother saving him when he doesn’t want to be saved? The one time I committed to helping the boy, all I received in return were tears and a heartbroken expression full of blame.

I could have everything I had ever wanted, everything I had worked hard for all my life. I just had to turn a blind eye to the boy’s death. Wasn't this just who I was as a person? Someone who could look away from people's suffering if it benefitted me, if I didn't directly cause the suffering, if it wasn't right in front of my eyes. If, if...

It was all excuses. I knew I’m not a good man. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. I helped the boy because I didn't want to feel guilty for his death. To soothe what’s left of my withered conscience.

So why am I still feeling so guilty? Why can't I get him out of my mind? Why?!

The raft grated on gravel, jolting me out of my thoughts. I had arrived on the opposite shore. But I couldn’t bring myself to step off the raft. Thunder roared above me, and I was soaked to my skin from the pouring rain. But I could barely feel it, lost in my thoughts.

I was too greedy. I wanted to make it to the Stratos Tower before noon, but I also wanted to prevent the child's death. Not out of the goodness of my heart, but because I’ve had enough of nightmares. It would've been perfect if I was someone who could ignore the child's plight, or if I was someone who could sacrifice my own future for the life of a child. But I wasn't. I was too half-baked.

My eyes fell on the battered digital watch on my left wrist. It was 11:49.

I was just like this watch. Worn and battered. It wasn't a fancy, analogue watch that exudes class and atmosphere, more a fashion statement than a timekeeping tool. It also wasn't a sleek smartwatch with a thousand and one functions that could keep up with the demands of the modern era. It was simple, boring, half-baked, and easily replaced. Just like me.

A sad smile touched my lips. It wasn't that I couldn't decide to abandon the child. Deep down, I knew the choice had already been made. But I couldn't commit. I didn't have enough determination.

I craned my head to look at the brightly lit Stratos Tower in front of me. It was so close. All I had to do now was run to it. Once I got far enough away from that weird street, the time loop would lose effect. It had to. Why else would I be able to receive that email otherwise?

I exhaled. I’ve made my decision, even my own body is urging me to take the step. All I had to do was let go and let instincts guide me.

I stepped off the raft. Just one small step forward, but my world shook as I did. It felt like I had surrendered something important to me, something precious and irreplaceable. The world seemed just a little bit colder and colorless. I shivered in the rain, feeling miserable.

I closed my eyes and grieved for a moment. I knew the feeling would pass. I had taken the same step countless times before. To move forward, you had to sacrifice what’s precious to you.

Now I had to live with my decision. I glanced down at the time—it was 11:55.

I’m going to be late for the presentation.

I was behind schedule and regretted the impulsive decision to step on the shore. I should’ve used the time loop more strategically and prepared myself better. But I knew I couldn’t. It had to be this run.

With that thought, I ran for the tower. Whether I was out of the time loop or not will be revealed in several minutes. In the meantime, I would act as if I had and strive to make it in time for the presentation. I had sacrificed too much to do anything else.

The rain continued pouring, blurring my vision.