The Angel Express - 5:30 PM

Jamie wasn’t the only one who was paying apt attention, everyone else was at the edges of their seats. Not that I could blame them; the loot gained was bound to be stellar considering what it had come from. I didn’t start with the loot the Dealer collected for me, though.

“This is the MVP prize, the Atlantean Launcher Maul,” I said, holding my hand over the table. “It also isn’t complete yet.”

The furniture creaked as a large, heavy slab fell on it. The item was made from the same green metal that most Atlantean technology was fashioned from, and had slots for two things, a harpoon and a hammer. I pulled up the description and sent it to everyone present.

<<<>>>

[[Item]]

Atlantean Launcher Maul Shell

This item has slots for the Harpoon of Atlantean Might and the Warhammer of Atlantean Valor. Once one or both items are placed inside the shell, it will transform into the Atlantean Launcher Maul.

<<<>>>

“It’s meant to become a shapeshifting weapon between the harpoon I got from the honor guard I fought, the maul you got from yours, and then a harpoon gun,” I explained. “This is a very versatile item, like my old Writhing Belt Whip except that it has three forms instead of two. Not only that, but whether or not it’s a harpoon or a hammer, you’ll gain the skills and passives of the original weapons. The gun part has its own. And, to top it all off, it’s a growth type.”

“Varying stats depending on its form?” Jamie asked, running her hand along the shell.

“Yup.”

She nodded. “How does it deal with ammunition?”

“There’s a skill attached to the launcher that lets you reload no matter how far you shoot the harpoon, so it teleports back,” I answered. “You also have an option to add a chain to it that automatically pulls back your ammunition and whatever it’s stuck to.”

Jamie nodded again before her face soured. “But you have two of the three pieces.”

“And you’re our Weapon Master,” I shot back. “So if it’s something you want, then I’ll gladly hand them both over. It’ll count as one weapon for your class abilities. However, it will be at the cost of your bargaining power.”

While many classes received different abilities for offense, defense, support, or other such things, a Weapon Master only received Masteries. Jamie wasn’t very flashy compared to the rest of us, but she was still very dangerous. Each Mastery ability increased both accuracy and damage by a set amount, and they stacked. Any weapon in her hands was far more powerful than the same one in ours.

“Just what she needs, another big gun,” Jeff joked.

“I can always use another big gun,” Jamie muttered, agreeing. She looked conflicted, and I let her have some time to think. Then, she turned to look at me, intense greed in her voice. “Would you take it if you were me?”

“If I were a Weapon Master? Yes, in a heartbeat,” I said. “It’s a modular ranged, finesse, and heavy weapon that can be selected as one of your Mastery abilities. On top of that, you already have Spear and Gun Mastery, which will help here, and probably some kind of Hammer Mastery? I’m a little iffier on that one. What I’m getting at is, you can stack a lot of damage and accuracy buffs on this thing.”

“Fuck it, I’m in,” she said after a few more seconds of contemplation.

Swiping open her inventory, she grabbed the Warhammer of Atlantean Valor and put it into the slot made for it. I held my hand over the shell and dropped the Harpoon of Atlantean Might into its place. The shell glowed brightly, obscuring its form before the light changed shape. When it dimmed, a sleek, loaded harpoon gun was laying there.

Jamie, laughing, immediately snatched it up. Her eyes skimmed over the text as we all looked at her expectantly, but she was too engrossed in the description. After a few awkward seconds, I reached over, tapped it, and sent the description to the others.

<<<>>>

[[Item]]

Atlantean Launcher Maul

(Modular Weapon; Growth Item, kill 10 bosses to upgrade; Weapon Transformation skill acquired)

(Launcher form; +30 Dexterity, Chained Ammunition skill acquired, Return Harpoon skill acquired, Barbed Tenacity passive acquired)

(Harpoon form; +20 Dexterity, +10 Constitution, Flow Control skill acquired, Wave Crash skill acquired, Underwater Acclimation passive acquired, Valorous Mentality passive acquired)

(Warhammer form; +20 Strength, +10 Constitution, Flow Control skill acquired, Wave Crash skill acquired, Underwater Acclimation passive acquired, Valorous Mentality passive acquired)

<<<>>>

I closed out the menu before going into the long list of skills and passives, but gave everyone else time to read the text. It really was gear worthy of being called an MVP weapon, and I was pretty sure Jamie was going to end up with it eventually.

Reaching into the Dealer’s extradimensional grab bag, I pulled out My Golden Bowling Ball and sent it straight to my inventory. That wasn’t loot, that was a necessity. It didn’t stop Jamie from eying it for the split second it was out before transforming her new baby into a warhammer with a head as big as her own and a four foot handle. She set it across her lap.

Chuckling at her attention, I retrieved a skill book. The brown leather cover had a person in one corner in the same minimalist art style as every other one I had seen. There were arrows pointing to others, including one with gills, one with a gas mask, and more. I opened it up to see that it gave the passive Instant Adaptability.

“Alright, this one is pretty fun,” I said, setting it on the table. Since the book itself only gave the name and not the description, I had to explain it. “This one will basically adapt your body to wherever you are. Underwater? You can now breathe it. Poison swamp? You can breathe it. Volcano? You can survive the heat, but you’ll still take massive damage if you step in lava. It’s really good at making just about anywhere comfortable.”

Jamie nodded. “Okay. It’s interesting, but not exactly the kind of thing I’m excited about. My armor keeps me pretty comfortable, and for anything else there’s items.”

I could easily argue with her statement, but that was just her line of thinking. She also wasn’t wrong, I simply preferred to not to worry about carrying so many different things.

Not that I was carrying an excess of things now. I carried exactly as much as I needed. The stuff I had picked out was necessary and I would use them eventually.

Before I could go full hoarder, I pulled out the next item from the bag and stared. It was a folded bundle of cloth.

“Hard, hard pass,” Jamie said immediately, bringing her arms up in an X shape.

“Warmonger, that’s absolutely horrid,” Mercury stated, trying not to laugh.

Standing up, I unfolded the cloth until I was holding a trench coat. It was covered in blue, brown, and white squares of various sizes, each showing off palm trees and tropical flowers. There was a sash to go around the waist that was made of the same materials as the rest, and there were two sets of black buttons.

“Is that a Hawaiian trench coat?” Kayla asked, adjusting her glasses. “Did a goddamn eldritch monstrosity really give you a Hawaiian trench coat as a prize? Or is the Dealer just messing with you?”

I grimaced as I pulled up the description, unable to help the maddening, strangled laugh that came after. “No, it definitely came from the Nautilus,” I said confidently, sending them what I had just read.

<<<>>>

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

[[Item]]

Trench Coat of the Mad Captain

(Unique Item; +10 Constitution, +20 Willpower, +10 Wisdom, Madman’s Will skill acquired, Starstone Constellation skill acquired, Captain’s Know-How passive acquired, Find Polaris passive acquired)

[[Skill]]

Madman’s Will

You can cause insanity in an opponent with a glance. By looking into another’s eyes and paying a low cost of Mental Points, you can cause them to become overly paranoid, suffer delusions, and see hallucinations. You cannot choose how this skill affects any person specifically, and it’s efficacy is based on the difference between your Willpower stat and their defensive mental stat. If they do not have a defensive mental stat, their resistance depends on their highest stat divided by 2. At a higher cost, you can project Madman’s Will as an aura that affects everyone inside a radius as far out as 1 foot per point of Willpower. At your discretion, some beings can be spared the weight of your will.

[[Skill]]

Starstone Constellation

As long as you wear this item, you are constantly followed by a number of glowing Starstones equal to Willpower/10. They hover around you in a unique pattern specific to you, but are incorporeal and cannot be touched until they are used. These Starstones can be fired at an individual no further away from you than a number of feet equal to your Wisdom stat, dealing bludgeoning and fire damage equal to your Willpower to anything it hits. Any Starstones used this way respawn after 5 minutes.

[[Passive]]

Captain’s Know-How

You automatically know how to operate any vessel that you have been acknowledged as the captain of by its crew.

[[Passive]]

Find Polaris

You always know which direction Polaris, the North Star, is in.

<<<>>>

“And it’s…” I sighed. “It’s certainly a unique item, I will give it that.”

“That’ll give you another aura, right?” Jeff asked as he read through it. “Scary, calm, and now insanity?”

“Yeah, you got it,” I confirmed. “Tyrant’s Will filled people with dread, Peacekeeper’s Will made them calm, and now I could cause insanity all around. That’s a really dangerous thing to play around with, though. It’s framed the same way as my other two, but what the system isn’t saying is that it lingers. I could pulse insanity in here and you’d all be paranoid for at least an hour, Kayla and her stats being the probable exception.”

Jeff looked at the coat again, stroking his beard. “So, it’s very dangerous, then.”

“Everything is, but yes. I’ll need a good reason to use it.”

The passives were fun for what they were, but I was really looking forward to seeing the Starstone Constellation. There were a few different patterns I was expecting that seemed obvious, but I couldn’t deny being excited about putting on what really was a Hawaiian trench coat.

“How’s it compare to the black coat you have now?” Kayla snickered, knowing full well it wouldn’t be as good as this.

I sighed again, more forcefully and dramatically, before looking at Jamie. She immediately shook her head. “That’s all yours, boss,” she said with a grin.

“Then I guess it’s all mine.”

Standing up, I pulled the trench coat on. It was sized for someone much larger than I was, but changed to become tailor fit. I didn’t close it up, instead letting it hang open and show off my comfortable, non-magical clothes underneath.

I became acutely aware of the Starstones that appeared. They twinkled like their namesake and scattered behind me like a pair of folded wings. There were only a handful now, but my Willpower got much higher when I was wearing my gear. I was going to have a lot of ammunition then.

Mercury attempted to reach out and touch one. His hand went right through, just as the skill said would happen. “You’re not going to be stealthy at all in this,” he said.

“That’s not true,” I argued. “I can be stealthy after shooting every Starstone away from me. Then I’ll have five minutes of not being shiny.”

“You’re certainly making a statement, Franklin,” Jamie said. “But, c’mon, that’s obviously yours. What’s next?”

Rolling my eyes, I couldn’t help my smile before I sat back down. The trench coat was comfortable, at least. Reaching into the bag, I pulled out another skill book. This one had a person in the middle and two outfits on either side of them. I brought up the description and nodded approvingly.

“Fashion Indecision,” I said, holding it up. “Basically, you select a slot like shoes, shirt, head, glasses, and so forth, and you can equip two similar items. Whichever one you put on last will be what shows to the outside world.”

“That sounds absurdly strong,” Jeff said. “With that, couldn’t you wear your old coat and this one and get everything from both?”

I nodded. “That’s exactly what it does, yes.”

Jamie stared at the book. It was much better than the last one in sheer stats, skills, and passives. Honestly, I wanted it for myself as well. This would be great once I got the Boots of the Warmongering Mystic, the next of the set available to drop, since it would allow me to continue using my Heelies of the Twice Blessed at the same time.

Before she could claim it, I pulled out the final item. It was a piece of jerky that immediately filled the dining car with the scent of spices and pepper. The kinds that would melt your tongue. Kayla, Jeff, and Mercury recoiled at the smell, but Jamie and I were fine. I grabbed the description and sent it out.

<<<>>>

[[Item]]

Saltation Jerky

This meat is only edible to those who are no longer Human. Once it has been consumed, you may choose an evolution suitable for your race. This evolution comes with a higher stat ceiling and new skills.

<<<>>>

“This is definitely the Writhing Guardian’s drop,” I said. “We must have got it because we’re both half of something. The coat might be a unique item, but this is a lot more powerful than it appears at first glance.”

“Guess it was a good thing that Jeremiah asshole shot me,” Jamie said with a hint of self-depreciation. She reached out for the Instant Adaptability skill book and shoved it towards me. “Definitely not going to take this. I’m going to have to think about it.”

Nodding, I took the skill book and opened it to learn the passive it contained.

<<<>>>

[[Passive]]

Instant Adaptability

You gain the ability to adapt to any environment the moment you step foot in it. This will make small changes to your body in order to operate, though your shape will always be yours. Hazards in your environment will still be able to hurt you.

<<<>>>

Nothing happened when I accepted the passive, but I was already pretty comfortable to begin with.

“Nice, happy for you, but can you put that jerky away?” Mercury asked, and I turned to see him with his shirt over his nose. “That thing smells disturbing.”

I glanced at Jamie, who sighed. “I’ll decide later,” she said, gesturing for me to go ahead. “Both sound really good. The skill book definitely calls to me, but should I really give up the chance to become more Draconic?”

“Truly, that is one of life’s great dilemmas,” I said, laughing. I pulled the jerky and the skill book into my inventory and Pushed the Dealer’s bag to hang on a hook behind the bar. He would definitely charge me for that later if I took it for myself. Nothing was free. “But you best decide before we make it to New York, otherwise I’m going to.”

The Weapon Master looked like she was about to argue, but simply nodded. “I guess that’s more than fair.”

“And if you decide you don’t want either, I’ll be happy to take that skill book off your hands,” Jeff said. “Just saying.”

“Sure, because you don’t already wear gear like you picked things out of a thrift shop at random,” I laughed.

“Hey, it’s the best stuff,” he defended, crossing his arms. “Not my fault I’m not lucky enough to get a bunch of stuff that matches.”

“Honey, Anthony’s about to wear a Hawaiian trench coat,” Kayla said, shaking her head sadly.

Jeff nodded. “Yeah, you’re right! He’s got no room to complain about my lack of style.”

“I can complain about two things,” I replied, rolling my eyes with a smile. “Besides, you both got most of the stuff I would have picked up by now. If you want big loot, then you go fight big bosses.”

“Sounds more than fair to me,” Jamie said smugly.

“Though, speaking of big loot,” I continued, looking at Mercury. “How’s that Sensory Control skill working for Bethany?”

Bethany was Mercury’s little sister. As the guild’s Tea Witch, she was in charge of creating health potions, resource potions, and more for the party in the form of tea. Since we had a greenhouse car to grow all of our own ingredients, her output had been phenomenal so far.

However, Bethany had also been deaf before the system dropped. When it appeared, it fixed her ears so that she could hear again. That had an adverse effect on the girl. All of a sudden, everything was loud and scary and she was prone to suffering from sensory overload. They did what they had to do to make things manageable, but it was tough. She knew ASL, but no English just yet. We were taking things one step at a time.

“Oh, she looooves it,” he said, drawing out the word. “She was getting tired of wearing those headphones all the time. Like, I know that was the best we could do at the time, but this is a whole different quality of life thing, you know?”

“Yeah, I hear you,” I responded, smiling. “I’m glad it’s working out for her. I figured it was worth going off the beaten path for.”

<<<>>>

[[Patron Message]]

Ant, I have news from New York. Would you please call everyone to the Patron car? I’d like to finally meet everyone and give them the news.

<<<>>>

Clapping my hands, I stood up. “Alright, Sara has some news for us,” I said with a smile. “Mercury, please grab your sister, Jamie, please grab Ash, and then everyone’ll finally meet our elusive Guardian Angel.”