The first way to die in a fantasy world is easy. It is to die in a mundane world first.

A long time ago, Yennifer decided that life had no meaning. Not for her, or a saint –not a president, or a queen. Yennifer learned of the dinosaurs that roamed billions of years ago. She learned of how young humans were in the mortal realm. She learned that even if her people killed off their planet, it would keep spinning. The world would live without them. And so, she decided to do whatever she wanted.

The first time she thought that, she dove into the ocean at midnight and moonbathed with salt stinging her eyes.

The second time she thought that, she quit her job.

The third time she thought that, she killed herself.

Not intentionally, but the effect was the same.

Yennifer had downed one too many drinks and danced one too many dances, and found herself caught unawares when a knife was stabbed at her just right to knick an artery. She never saw the face of whoever killed her. Not that she really cared –she was, after all, rather dead. For a while.

Until with a gasp she awoke in a world of swords and sorcery and sin.

Above her, was a beautiful blue sky that looked much like her old world. The sun was the same –there were no dual moons hanging in the distance, no oddly colored flora. The only odd thing was the overgrown lizard sitting across from her. It’s scales were a verdant green and it had teeth longer than Yennifer’s arm.

Yennifer did the only sensible thing. She screamed. And she ran. Away from the dragon, obviously.

That did not stop the dragon from noticing her and lazily raising its head to watch the woman run, in a zig zag, towards a cliff. The dragon contemplated warning the woman, but reminded himself she had simply appeared in his clearing and rudely began screaming. She had disturbed his nap! Besides, anyone who could make it to the plateau on his mountain could likely fly anyway. The dragon laid his head back down and closed his eyes. He happily waited until the sounds of the woman running faded into the distance.

Yennifer, however, was not happily doing anything as she had found herself stuck between two terrifying options. She could go back to the dragon, hope it understood English, and explain, ‘Hello yes I think you are a dragon and I am not from here so pardon me but could you direct me to a human town?’ Then she gave it even odds she either was ignored or got skewered and roasted before becoming a dragons mid afternoon snack.

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That would be a terribly embarrassing way to die in a fantasy world.

It would, for our purposes, also be the first way to die in a fantasy.

Yennifer decided that was a rather funny thought and snorted as she stared down the cliff. The second way to die would be to jump down.

In her head she made a list.

Ways to die in a fantasy world:

1. Skewered and eaten by a dragon

2. Fall off a cliff

To be fair, in a perfectly mundane world one could die by cliff. But Yennifer decided any way to die in a fantasy world counted and promptly kicked a bush near to her and decided if she should add ‘potentially eating these real berries that could either be poisonous or give out some unknown boon’. She chose not to. Best to limit the list to actual sure things. Which being skewered by the dragon was not. Yennifer was sure enough about that, meanwhile she was not even hungry enough to eat these berries and dying by berry was also embarrassing. If she chose to eat the berries and they were poison she would add them to the list later. Not now.

Meanwhile, the dragon sniffed, feeling mildly offended for some indiscernible reason. He had never eaten human. Why the thought popped into his head, he wasn’t sure. But then he remembered the woman running away just minutes before and decided really who cares where the thought came from. His nap! He had only been sleeping for three years! He wanted another four at least.

Yennifer had to decide. Dragon or cliff? Then she decided not to decide at all and began exploring the plateau’s forested rim and attempted to find a way down —there were dragons on this mountain so perhaps there were stairs too.

The sun was setting on the horizon when, in the middle of an unfortunately normal looking forest, she had to give in and admit that the normal looking forest was just a forest and was not hiding conveniently placed steps. That was when her stomach rumbled and she found herself face to face with a bush of the same teal berries she briefly considered might be poisonous.

“If you kill me,” she hissed down to the berries, “I will haunt your soil and make you wither!”

Pulling back her hair, which she noticed was now a fine pink rather than the dark color she used to have —Yennifer resolved herself not to ask any more questions about that— she leaned down and plucked two berries from the bush and gave them a whiff. They were round like tomatoes but when she squeezed them and sniffed the juices rather than an acidic smell a thick savory wave hit her nose.

“You are going to do something horrible to me, I know it,” Yennifer sighed and decided it didn’t really matter if it was dragons or a berry. But also a single berry was unlikely to kill her immediately and maybe it was edible anyway. She would probably be fine.

Just in case, she updated her list.

Ways to (possibly) die in a fantasy world:

1. Eating weird teal berries that smell like cooked meat that are actually poison

And then bit down.

As she chewed, the flavor of brisket rolled through her mouth. Suspiciously delicious was what Yennifer came to call the berries.

And she was kind of right. As soon as she felt the relief of food hitting her stomach, she felt the revulsion of throwing it back up. And the cramps that come along with one’s body rejecting poison. Soon enough she began seizing with the toxins and lost consciousness.

And then she was dead.