Part 1.

Me and Tamaki-san had delivered the pairs work already finished exactly thirty minutes ago. Once our teacher confirmed that it had reached her email, Tamaki-san logged out of her APA without even saying goodbye. I was currently sitting in the classroom waiting for the first recess of the day to come to an end and, as usual, the whole school was shrouded in its characteristic sepulchral silence.

As I rested my head on my right hand, I looked at the reflection of myself in the window right next to me. Then I began to remember all those times I had been rejected by the students at this school. I was beginning to question the "reason" why I was still trying. All the words Tamaki-san had said to me had made me begin to doubt my actions. After all, I have been trying to change the mentality of everyone at school for almost two years now without any positive results for me.

Of the nineteen students in the classroom, not counting myself, only eight students are still talking to me, including Tamaki-san since she is the class representative. The rest of my classmates ignore me every time I speak to them. The only time they are forced to talk to me is when they do this weird pair work.

If I had to say something about the teachers, it may sound strange, but it is even more difficult to have a conversation with them than with the students themselves. This is because in the entire time a class lasts, the APA of the professor in charge at that moment never moves from his place at the front of the classroom. He is always standing there while explaining the subject and then answering our questions through the school's intranet chat. After all, this is what education is like in all schools here in Japan.

I pressed my lips tightly together as I kept asking myself. Why do I keep trying? Why do I keep torturing myself? Will I get any kind of benefit out of what I'm doing? All I was accomplishing was making my life as a student even more miserable than it already is. But even after all the failures I have had throughout all this time, what is the reason why I still keep doing it?

As I closed my eyes, little by little the memories of that day appeared in my head.

The memories were images of someone else's student life, images that showed that person in a different country, in a different school, with completely different students and teachers than here.

I remember that was the day I decided to stop using my APA forever.

Part 2.

It was an afternoon after school almost three years ago, I was sitting in the dining room of my house with my eyes pointed to the transparent visor I was holding in my hands which I used a few minutes ago to connect to the school APA. At that time, I was a junior high school student.

—Hey Minoru, Is something wrong…? You look quite depressed.

These were the words of my aunt, my mother's older sister who was sitting in front of me. She was used to visiting our family once or twice a month, however, what struck me the most was that my aunt did it without using her APA which was quite rare for me. Her name was Hikaru Miyagawa. At that time, she was thirty years old, although she didn't look that age at all. She had orange hair just like me, with two long pigtails in front and back that curved at the tip.

—Come on, you should change that face! Aren't you happy that your aunt came to see you? You have to smile! Smile! Just like me!

Showing a huge smile my aunt told me as she stroked my hair back and forth to the point of messing it up, so I tried to explain to her how I felt.

—It's just, that lately every day has become quite monotonous and boring for me....

—What do you mean?

—Well, a couple of weeks ago I got to thinking and I realized that the only people I can engage in a decent conversation with are my parents here at home and occasionally with you aunt, I don’t have anyone else. In school as we are all occupying our APA, it is very difficult for me to find an occasion to exchange words with one of my classmates.

Hearing this, my aunt crossed her arms and answered me.

—I can get an idea of how you feel right now, not having someone your own age to talk to must be pretty frustrating for you... It also brings back some memories of the time when I was a university student. I think I also completely failed to make any friends.

—¿Friends?

I wondered with surprise when I heard that word coming out of my aunt mouth. I remember that at some point in my life my parents had explained its meaning to me, however, over the years I had completely forgotten its meaning.

My aunt continued talking.

—It's true, the word friend is not used very much here in Japan nowadays. Because of the situation of the people in this country, over the years it has gradually lost its meaning. Well, I don't remember the last time I used that word either....

Then to my surprise, she suddenly put her arm on the table leaning in my direction, then with the index finger of her right hand raised she began to explain her meaning to me to refresh my memory.

—Listen Minoru, a friend is someone you hang out with regularly. It's a person with you share the same interests, hobbies and live endless fun times together. I think it may be a little difficult for you to understand since you have never met someone you can call a friend.

Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

—So, Aunt Hikaru. Have you ever met anyone you could call a friend?

That question left my aunt speechless for a few seconds.

—The truth is... I was lucky enough to meet people I could call friends. Unfortunately, I stopped talking to them a long time ago.

—Why!? What is the reason you stopped talking to your friends?

—When I was almost your age, I applied for a scholarship to study abroad. I spent three long years attending classes at a school outside of Japan. When I finally completed my stay and returned, the passing years caused me to lose contact with all the friends I had made... After all, we each made our own separate lives.

After a second silence from my aunt, another smile came to her face. Then she continued.

—Despite all that, I don't regret making the decision to spend the last three years of my school life in a school outside Japan. In the end I was able to make a lot of good memories with all of them. It was a once in a lifetime experience for me, that's the way I felt about it.

Seeing my aunt happy face as she said those words, I couldn't resist asking her.

—Was it really so amazing to attend that school?

My aunt eyes lit up, then she leaned both elbows on the table while holding her face with her hands on her cheeks and looking at me with enthusiasm.

—Do you want me to tell you how my student life was during those three years in that school?

When I saw my aunt face, my heart began to beat very fast and at the same time a small shiver ran through my whole body; and without even thinking about it for a second, I answered her with all my strength.

—Yes, please!

Part 3.

The minutes passed as if they were seconds while with each word that came out of the mouth of my Aunt Hikaru my heart was accelerating more and more. She was telling me about all the obstacles she had to overcome during her three years in that school, how she was getting to know one by one those people she could call friends and all those experiences she was able to live with them, that was a student life that I could hardly imagine. A school where students and teachers interacted with each other. A country so far behind in technology compared to Japan that APA did not exist.

—It's true Minoru! I have a lot of pictures saved in the memory of my visor. Let me go get it to show them to you, I'll be right back.

With that said, my aunt got up from her seat and headed to the main hall where her purse was located. After a few seconds, she returned to her seat with her visor on.

—Are you ready?

—Y-yes!

Then, with the push of a button, each of the pictures were sent to my visor.

Piip—

One by one these pictures were appearing in front of my eyes through my visor as if they were shooting stars. Pictures in which four people appeared, two men and two women, including my aunt. These pictures illustrated several places where my aunt appeared sharing with her friends in different situations. In the classroom talking with their desks next to each other as they waited for the bell to ring to signal the end of recess, on the roof of the school sharing lunch under a huge blue sky, laughing with a teacher they met casually walking down the school hallway, sharing after-school karaoke, and countless other situations. There were so many moments captured in pictures that made every part of my body want to scream, "I wish I had a student life like that too!"

Then, immersed in this desire to replicate the same path my aunt followed, I asked her.

—Do you think I can go to the same school?

—Unfortunately, scholarships to study abroad ceased to exist a couple of years ago. As you should already know, Japan borders are closed to all other countries, the only way in or out is with a special permit which has too many requirements.

—It's true...

I said to my aunt despondently, then she took her visor off and as she looked down, she began to caress the locket around her neck with a nostalgic expression.

—You know, when I returned to Japan from those three years, I had already made up my mind to study to become a teacher. Once I entered the university, I wanted to recreate all those nice experiences I had with my friends outside the country. However, I came up against a very difficult wall to overcome that was always there....

—A wall?

—In other words, an APA. After a year of trying to approach my classmates over and over again, I finally gave up. Just like that, realizing the role that teachers play with their students here in Japan, I decided to stop studying to become a teacher.

Then I had realized, although it was rather obvious, that perhaps the reason was because I was occupying one? As long as APA existed in Japan and people were still interested in occupying them, none of the pictures my aunt had shown me were going to come true for me.

—You may be right Aunt Hikaru, however, all those stories you told me, and all those pictures you showed me.... I'm sure any student would wish to have a life like that! That's why...!

—U-uh!?

The impulse I felt at that moment caused me to rise abruptly from my seat as I brought my right hand to my chest to reaffirm the words I was about to say.

—I'm going to change my life as a student! Not by attending a school in another country, but here in Japan! Then I will be the one to show you pictures with my friends.

Immediately my aunt was stunned by what I had just said. After a silence between the two of us, she said to me.

—If that's what you want, I'll be cheering you on.

As she said those words to me, for some reason, the smile my Aunt Hikaru showed me at that moment was forced.

Part 4.

It is now Monday, February 15th. It has been almost three years since I had that conversation with my Aunt Hikaru and made the decision to stop using my APA to attend classes. That means that I have been trying to change my life as a student for all that time without making a single worthwhile memory. I now fully understand all that my aunt had to go through when she was trying to do the same thing back when she was attending university.

The school year will end in March, so next year will already be my last year as a high school student, then I will have to decide where I will go to university. At this point, I should have given up a couple of months ago. However, why can't I get all those stories and pictures out of my head? Just remembering them makes me want to scream the phrase in my mind again, "I wish I had a student life like that too!"

I didn't know how, but I had to reverse my current situation. I am not allowed to give up.