What is my 1000-year-old monster self to do when I’ve failed my immortal ascension? Time travel — accidentally — and wind up back in my 9-year-old body, needing to re-cultivate, of course. But after that? Get REVENGE! Muahahahaha!  But the idiot who killed me — also accidentally — was the main character of the dumb harem Xianxia I transmigrated into. But wait. Wasn’t he only 7 or 8 at this point in time? Well, since I can’t harm a child or the main character without suffering in some way, then I’ll just have to raise him better, faster, stronger, and loyal! Muahahahaha! This is a Xianxia comedy and satire by the author of Tanking Hits and Tome of Stealth. But it is also a series of interconnected and chronological short stories (featuring the same main characters). For example, it’s similar to the structure of Fred the Vampire Accountant series by the wonderful Drew Hayes. Updates Every Friday (2:15PM PST).  Cover art created with MidJourney and edited by the author. Typography by the author. Other art within the story ranges from original author created art, commissioned art, edited stock photos and edited AI art. If you're curious about a specific image, just ask the author and they'll let you know. If you're curious about why there is only one chapter out a week, that is berceuse the author spends 10 hours over three or four days editing each chapter, ensuring the quality and humor. These hours are mentally exhausting. Comedy is hard. Chapter images are currently broken but I am working on fixing them.