Chapter 2: Unlucky Dale, A Mob Main Character

“Are you sure you don’t want to know more about what we did to you?” Maya asked.

“Unless it can help me get out of here, no.” Dale said.

“It might, but that’s extremely unlikely.” Maya said.

“...Worth a shot. Shoot, what do you got for me?” Dale asked.

“Well, what we’ve implemented into your mana is a magic core. That alone boosts the amount of magic you can use at any given time.” Maya said.

“Hm. True, I can feel a massive increase in the amount of- holy shit." Dale said, so surprised that he gave himself a migrane.

"I think I know what you mean by avatar of god, now. But seriously, that shit made my head hurt.” Dale said.

“No, you don’t know the half of it, Dale. You and the core aren’t completely merged yet, so you aren’t able to access more than the smallest amount of power from it. And there are a decent amount of people out there who have mana equal to or greater than what you have right now. Besides, that’s not the cool thing. You may be a random nobody-“

“Thanks.” Dale muttered.

“-, but that thing can pretty much give you plot armor. You’re basically like the main character right now.” Maya said.

“And what the fuck does that mean?” Dale asked.

Maya froze.

“You have no idea what it means, do you?” Dale sighed.

Maya slumped her shoulders.

“No. I was just reading off of this guidebook trying to sound smart.” Maya said, holding up a thin and floppy book.

“Maya, I found a cute little caterpillar! Look!” The other person in religious garbs interrupted.

“Zaz, that’s not what we’re here for,” Maya said, annoyed.

“Then what should I be doing?” Zaz asked.

“Um. Just do something. It doesn’t matter.” Maya said.

Zaz threw the caterpillar at her, and Maya freaked out.

“Eeeeeek!!! Get it off! Get it off!” Maya shouted, flailing about.

“You’re the one who told me to do something.” Zaz grinned, mischievously.

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Maya ran after her, and Zaz stayed just barely out of her reach at all times, mocking her.

This continued for quite a while.

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“I was kidnapped by these fucking idiots? Seriously? What the fuck? Why me?” Dale asked.

A boom resounded in his head.

"Oh my fucking god that fucking hurts! What the shit!" Dale shouted.

“Hello? Hello? Ah. Can you hear me?” A voice asked.

“Ow. I think I’ve said this before, but fuck it, I’ll say it again. What the fuck.” Dale said, scowling.

“So you can hear me. Good, good. You asked why you were kidnapped, right?” The voice asked.

“Well, yeah, but-“ Dale said.

“It’s because I was bored.” The voice said.

“...you’re god?” Dale asked.

“Glad I don’t have to literally spell it out for you. Yeah, I’m god.” God said.

“You sound a lot less intense and serious than I thought you would. So what’s up with the lightning and thunder from before?” Dale asked.

“What, that? Ha! Yeah, that gets everyone. It’s a light machine and a noisemaker. Basically, you got duped. Idiot.” God said.

“......Fuck you.” Dale said.

“Wow, so mean. You hurt my feelings.” God faked.

“You’re that kind of person, aren’t you. Ugghhhh.” Dale groaned.

“Yup. Annoying god, at your least convenient time, and not at your service. Get it?” God said.

“Yeah, I get it. But it sounds stupid.” Dale said.

“Ruuude. You do realize you’re talking to god, right?” God asked.

“Huh? Oh. You act like one of my old friends, so I kinda felt a little less stressed. It’s kinda nice when you aren’t alone in a situation like this, somehow. Also, I'd prefer to keep pretending that you aren't actually god, and I've just gone insane.” Dale said.

“Dale. You’re weird. Eh, whatever. I’m fine with you being casual with me. Oh, speaking of that old friend! We’re going to be stalking her. What a coincidence. Are we sure you aren’t a main character?” God laughed.

Dale thought for a moment, trying to pick apart what he meant.

“.....If you mean the star of a story, I think I’m the star of my own story.” Dale said.

“Actually, that’s pretty close to what I mean, yeah. I’ve never heard that phrase outside of movies, though.” God said.

“Movies? Not sure what that means, but it’s what my mom always told me when I was little.” Dale said.

“Hm.... You aren’t exactly a mob, but you definitely aren’t even a minor side character. A little bit of a bent cookie cutter shaped you. But you can’t break the mold. I see. Maybe that’s the ultimate mob character. You seem...Bland. Hollow. An empty character.” God said, studying Dale.

“You explained nothing. Or I just didn’t understand your explanation.” Dale said.

“Well, this world is different after all. Speaking of, did you know that the friend you talked about before is actually someone from that world who reincarnated here?” God asked.

“Yeah, I think so. A lot of what you said sounds familiar. But she acts like you, so I never understood jack shit. The only reason I knew she was serious was because of the crazy things she did all the time.... Now, whenever I think back, I always point at her and say “that’s someone who can do something with their life”. To be honest, I’m rather jealous of her. Well...Jealous isn’t the right word.” Dale sighed.

“....She also seemed to avoid me, so we weren’t too close. We got a little bit closer eventually, but then I moved. I haven’t seen her since, and I doubt she even remembers me.” Dale said.

“Darn, thought that would surprise you. You're boring... Hm. I’m going to check something. Seeya in a bit, Dale.” God said.

“Hey, wait, wha-” Dale started.

God had disappeared from his head before he could even say hey.