Elysif and I had returned to the inn and had started eating some roast duck that the innkeeper cooked for us when Scott finally wandered in. He was covered from head to toe in mud and smelled of manure. “I’m going to change quickly, so save some for me,” was all he said, as he trudged by us and up to his room. Both Elysif and I weren’t sure what to think about him looking like that.

“Maybe he fell in a pasture of manure or something on his way back?” I wondered aloud, trying to rationalize why he was covered in mud and manure.

“I wouldn’t be surprised, but even when drunk, he can be in control of himself, unlike most people,” Elysif said.

“So it’s unlikely. Would you like to bet on it then?” I asked with a casually entertained tone.

“Sure. How about two cents on him not falling in a pasture?” Elysif offered.

“You’re on,” I replied, before continuing to eat while we waited for Scott. When he finally returned to us clean, he sat down and started digging into the roast duck without a word.

“So, want to tell us why you were covered in mud?” Elysif asked with a devious smile that Scott quickly recognized.

“Not particularly, no,” he replied.

“Well, we want to know,” I chimed in. Scott let out a small sigh of embarrassment.

“Fine, I was walking back and some of the local brats decided I was a good target for their mud fight and some of them used manure. Happy?”

“Wow, that wasn’t what we were expecting at all,” I said as I handed my two cents to Elysif. She gave me a satisfied smile as she took it.

“You two were betting on it?” Scott asked, disappointed.

“Well, not exactly,” Elysif started to lie.

“We did,” I interrupted, being honest.

“Smart. I expected as much from you two. It doesn’t really matter, though. We are heading back to the Table tomorrow, and whoever won that bet is going to be explaining the whole situation to the higher-ups while I recover from motion sickness,” he said.

“That’s unfair,” Elysif adamantly refused with a look of disbelief.

“Too bad,” Scott replied, before taking another bite off the duck. With that, Elysif just shook her head, before returning back to the meal and changing the subject.

We left the next morning, as Scott said. He had already bought our train tickets before he arrived at the inn, which was a great help. Although, we still had to deal with Scott’s motion sickness throughout the ride. That got me wondering, though. If he is capable of moving at superhuman speeds when he is sober, but suffers from motion sickness when he rides the train drunk, then the alcohol is most definitely to blame for his motion sickness.

After a few tiring hours, we arrived back at Warwick, but as soon as we did, we had to wait for Scott to regain himself and get a hold of his innards. Once he did, however, he just decided to let us go alone, so he could find a place to nap. Thus, Elysif and I continued onward to Warwick Castle without Scott.

When we arrived, the guards recognized us and let us in with a quick show of my badge. Filing down the dimly lit hallway into the large circular chamber, the walls were still gleaming, and in the center of the room, was a large table that wasn’t there before. Seated at the table was a young woman whom I didn’t recognize, as well as Compton, Mordred, and Merlin. Silence filled the room when we stepped inside, making our entrance more ominous than I would have liked.

The first to speak up after we entered the chamber was Mordred, who was holding herself in a much more threatening way. Whoever the young woman at the table with them was, it was easy to see that Mordred disliked them. “Perfect timing. Now we can have these two settle the matter, Mama Louise.” Wait, Mama Louise? Was the young woman her? I couldn’t tell. Mama Louise was an old hag but this woman was the definition of grace. She had long black hair that was tied up in a bun with a braid around it. Her clothes were similar to a summer dress with a ball gown-like flare to it and frills. To add to that, she didn’t give off the aura that she wanted to, or could, slaughter all of us on a whim.

“Of course. However, I do not see Scott,” the young woman replied. It was definitely Mama Louise. Her tone and manner of speaking were exactly the same.

“He is suffering from motion sickness so he is currently resting,” Elysif responded.

“I see. The man never did get used to riding the train. Perhaps we should return his messenger bird privileges?” Merlin said, feeling a bit sorry for Scott.

“Do you really want him to continue sending those letters, asking for a raise? We still haven’t finished going through the ones he sent before we revoked his privileges,” Mordred replied to Merlin with a crass tone.

“If I may ask, what matter are we settling?” I asked to try and return the focus back to why we were needed.

“Oh, yes. I apologize. Mama Louise is growing impatient and would like to hear some news about the Willowisps. However, since it was never an official request, I don’t see why it is the Table’s problem as a whole. You asked Scott and his team, not Merlin or I,” Mordred replied, showing some resentment towards Mama Louise. Tension swelled through the room like a midsummer heatwave.

“We have found the source of the Willowisp attacks and have taken care of it. There shouldn’t be any more attacks from those Willowisps. I must ask, though, how is it that you look so young now?” I said to Mama Louise. Everyone seemed shocked by the question, except Mama Louise. It was like I had just called out a king for something stupid. Their shock made me hope that I had Jester’s Privilege.

“I look like this because of the elixir that Iscariot gave me. Iscariot is quite an interesting and talented man. I am glad that you have taken care of the source of the Willowisps, though. Keeping all the major families in London at bay has been quite difficult, even for myself,” Mama Louise replied with a smile.

“I see,” I responded. You could almost hear the people in the room starting to breathe again.

“Now that that has been settled, Mama Louise, please feel free to stay in one of Warwick Castle's spare rooms for the night,” Merlin said. In response, Mama Louise stood up from her chair with a gracious smile.

“Thank you, I would be delighted,” she responded with a bow, before sauntering off with a man who, I assumed, was her guide.

“Well then, on to the next matter of business,” Mordred said. “Elysif, Lou, would you give us a testimony as to what happened with the Willowisp incident?”

Between the two of us, we then told them everything that happened from fighting the Fae to me being labeled as a Time Lord. When we were done, Merlin and Mordred were intrigued by the idea of me being a Time Lord, but didn’t take it as fact. They instead wanted to talk to Rubin Reuben first, and see if he was telling the truth. Otherwise, they weren’t disturbed by anything else we had to say.

“Compton, did all of that happen?” Mordred asked. Wait, Compton was watching us? Had I known that we were being followed, then I would have acted a bit more professionally.

“Other than a few minor details that aren’t all that important, yes. That is what happened,” he responded.

“Good. We now know that you can be trusted, Lou,” Merlin stated with a congratulatory smile.

“It isn’t normal for you to trail an agent. Even a new one. Why were you having him trail us?” Elysif asked, not hiding the fact that she was pissed off at them for the act.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

“I actually agree. Why did you have me follow Scott if you wanted me to follow Lou?” Compton asked. He knew that they had asked him to trail Scott, but he had not been told to follow Lou. Perhaps they assumed that he would turn his attention towards me due to his trust in Scott and Elysif?

“Well, there is no point in hiding it any longer. It was a test for you, Compton. To see where your loyalties lie. Yes, we did also want you to take note of anything that may have come up on Lou’s first official mission, but Mordred felt like Scott was hiding something as well, so it all worked out. Despite everything, you still followed the order to spy on Scott even with him being your closest friend,” Merlin answered.

“That doesn’t make sense. Haven’t I already proven my loyalty ten times over?” Compton protested.

“Yes. However, we have decided to make you the director of the South American division and give you a seat on the Council, but we needed to know that you were truly loyal to the point of betraying a friend,” Mordred said.

””What?”” Compton and Elysif practically yelled in shock.

“I’m going to get a seat on the Council as a director?” Compton asked, questioning if what he heard was correct. Elysif was also bewildered by this revelation that she had just heard. I was unsure of what to think about it, as I didn’t know what most of that meant, but based on their reactions, it was important.

“That would make him—” Elysif said.

“Yes, the youngest director and Council member in history,” Mordred finished with a smug grin. She obviously knew that dropping that bombshell would take their attention away from the fact that he was made to spy on us.

Merlin, however, had a scowl as he rubbed his chin. He was not exactly in the here and now anymore, as he didn’t react to anything being said. It was as if he were deep in thought. Merlin had been that way since after he last spoke. I wanted to say something to him, but I was too busy trying to figure out what was being discussed.

“I have a couple of questions. What does a director, and Council member, do? Also, is there anything even happening in South America at this time?” I asked.

“The director of a sector stays here as a representative, and brings up issues within their sector that need to be discussed and resolved. As such, they are granted a seat on the Council to vote on important issues that affect the Table as a whole. Sadly, you are correct, though. There is nothing noteworthy going on in South America that the Table can be a part of. We simply have built a foundation there so that it may be useful in the future,” Mordred explained.

“So why exactly did you have him spy on us? There could have been other ways to test him,” I asked. Elysif gave me a look that told me I needed to shut up.

“To be honest, I wanted to test him the normal way, but Merlin insisted we try something unexpected in order to increase the productivity of the test. It also gave you a bit of insurance in case the Willowisps were too much for the three of you,” she said. Merlin looked at her the moment he heard his name, as if he was broken out of a trance.

“Did someone say my name? I apologize for that. I had been deep in thought,” Merlin said, apologetically.

“That’s unlike you, Merlin. Are you okay?” Mordred asked.

“Yes, I am fine,” he answered unconvincingly.

“Usually, you would have tried flirting with the closest girl that you saw in the room, or at least made one scandalous comment to me any chance you could. What is bothering you?” Mordred asked with concern.

“I am fine,” he replied again, failing to extinguish any doubt.

Before she could barrette him any more for an answer, one of the guards from outside came in. “Consul, Head Consul, one of the local authorities wants to speak with you. They say a drunk man claiming to be one of our agents was harassing people in town and has been taken into custody,” the guard said. Elysif, Compton, and I looked at each other because we all knew who they were referring to. Scott wouldn’t have, would he? Yes, yes, he would.

“Have them bring him here. I think I have an idea as to who it is, and I think all of you know as well,” Mordred said with a tired and annoyed sigh. The three of us looked down at the table to avert her disappointed gaze. We knew exactly who it was, and if it wasn’t, then we needed to find Scott.

Half an hour passed before we saw the guard stride in with Scott in tow. He had a huge grin on his face like he was pleased with himself, and his hair had several leaves stuck in it, while his clothes were patched with flakes of mud. Mordred gave him a look of indignation, while Merlin was poorly hiding an amused smile.

“So what do you have to say for yourself?” Mordred asked, like a scolding mother, before crossing her arms.

“I have no regrets, and I know that no one in this town will bother me again when I fall asleep on their front stoop,” he replied to somewhat spite her. He regretted saying that though after a fist hit him in the back of the head hard enough to knock him to the ground.

“You should be sorry. Why Silva ever took you in, I will never know,” Director Langston said, rubbing his knuckles. Scott looked up at him like he had just been betrayed by his best friend. Now that I saw his reaction, I didn’t know how he was going to react to Compton’s last mission.

“Compton, back me up here,” Scott said, getting up from the floor.

“You will not receive any sympathy from anyone in this room, Scott, especially not Director Compton,” Mordred stated, as we all avoided Scott’s eyes.

“Wait… Director? Is he the new director of the South American branch?” Scott asked, in shock.

“Yes, and he will act as such; so he will not be helping you get out of the talk we are going to be having soon,” Mordred said with a punitive expression and tone. Merlin, on the other hand, had a shit-eating grin as he sat in his chair making a whip motion at Scott.

“Well, balls,” Scott said, hanging his head with a defeated sigh.

Scott was chewed out for a good hour by Mordred, and then for another hour by his father-in-law. I feel bad for the man. What made it worse was that, while all this was happening, Compton was receiving praise after praise from random people for becoming a director. That said, Compton looked like he wanted to die from all the social interaction he was forced to partake in. He seemed like a very introverted person but worked with it whenever he needed to.

Scott, however, was taking it like a champ. All of the stereotypical chastising had no effect on his pride. However, that ended whenever Mordred said she was about to give him back his messenger bird privileges, but due to this incident, she wasn’t anymore. She still technically needed someone to report things to her though, so I was asked to send them reports every month by mail or by telegraph. When Scott realized what that meant, he gave me a dirty look, followed by a wry smile. Whatever he just thought of couldn’t be good.

After chewing Scott out, Mordred disappeared to God knows where, and Elysif, well… she had enjoyed watching Scott getting chewed out, and was now chastising him in the same manner. After a good while, we ended up spending the night in the castle, and the next morning we left on the same train as Mama Louise. She was riding in first class, unlike us, so we never actually saw her after boarding the train. The train to London was spent making sure that Scott didn’t hurl everything in his stomach, but to no avail. He ended up leaning against the railing on the back of the train and vomiting for most of the ride back.

Once we arrived back in London, we meandered back to the apartments, and instantly plopped down on our own beds, ignoring the small stack of mail that had piled up behind the door as we entered, because we were too tired to care. All for different reasons, though. Scott had puked all his energy out, Elysif was just tired, and I was puked on by Scott twice. I had been able to remove a layer in order to prevent the vomit from reaching my undershirt, and the second time was on my pants. Thankfully, none of it got on my coat, so I simply disposed of my pants and buttoned up my trench coat all the way down for the walk back.

***

The morning after, I sifted through the mail, but found nothing of major importance. Some were thank you letters to Scott for settling some matters in the past, and others were adverts. I was worried by a few death threats that Scott received in the mail, which he read aloud. He didn’t care in the slightest and told me he received them all the time. In fact, his most notorious series of death threats were written by a barkeeper who had bet him his entire stock that he couldn’t beat his champion boxer in a fight. Scott won while intoxicated, and that pissed him off pretty badly. Scott was more concerned with how much time they took to write these threats, rather than the contents written in them.

Elysif decided to come up to us later in the day, due to boredom, and the three of us decided to play cards. However, we learned very quickly that Scott could count cards. After several defeats, Elysif and I decided to go for a stroll to get out of the apartment. Though, it was more like a patrol. Only a few hours later, we were by Buckingham Palace, which was way beyond where we wanted to go, but we did have some fun. I will say that that is the last time I’ll ever take directions from a blind guy. In my defense, though, I didn’t know he was blind when I asked.

By the time we got home, it was dark, and the only light we had was the fog-covered moon and a few nearly burnt-out street lamps. In our apartment window, Scott rested on the sill, staring up at the moon like an enamored girl in a shitty follow-your-dreams-style movie. However, unlike in most of those movies, he had a bottle in his hand, so it was less dramatic, and more depressing. Much to our enjoyment, Scott didn’t notice us. Thus, Elysif and I waited outside the apartment for a while, betting on whether he would fall or not. He did, but onto the apartment floor, so we called it a draw.

Eventually, we each left for our own beds, except for Scott, who had already passed out on the floor when he fell from the windowsill. Before going to bed, I closed the window that he had fallen out of, so there wouldn’t be too many bugs attacking us in the night. As I lay in bed, the small amount of peace and quiet we had gained from our little vacation caused me to want it to last forever. Sadly, we had to start patrolling and training again tomorrow, which was going to be sooo much fun. I know when it is read like that, you probably couldn’t tell, but that was sarcasm.

To say the least, nothing of interest happened for a good while. It was mainly just small skirmishes for a while, with little to no activity from the varying monster families. Though it was assumed that none of them wanted to cross Mama Louise, even if she was no longer keeping them in check. However, on that last day of August, someone else was murdered.