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The Salt & The Sky [Book 1 Stubbed July 1st]
6.7 - The Opposite of Interesting

6.7 - The Opposite of Interesting

Dan was thirty-one years old. He was a low-ranking administrator for a martially-inclined sect. He enjoyed spicy food. He was slowly edging towards the fifth realm. He was not currently in a relationship.

There were a lot of facts that Dan could state about himself. But to put it succinctly – he was not, in his rather informed opinion, what one would call a very interesting person.

And that was fine – preferable, even. Interesting often intersected with troublesome, after all. Just look at some of his peers, if you needed proof. There was Hung Fot, who had blown up his rooms no less than three times doing experimental alchemy. Gin Ban, who always seemed to be caught in some embezzling scheme or another – sometimes as the perpetrator, other times the victim. Bu Guanyin, who had once bitten a young lady’s finger off when she insulted his spellwork during a spar.

And of course, there was Lu, though some people would debate the label of interesting. Dan disagreed with those people; there was simply no other word for someone who had been beaten nearly to death for spying on the women's baths… And then decided to try it again. No one even knew how he had been getting in – those rooms were as hardened as any vault.

…A-hem, not that he knew that from personal experience, or anything. Anyway, Dan felt that was more worthy of the title troublesome than any number of alchemical mishaps.

And all those examples were within the one, singular year of admittance. He knew through ample secretarial experience that each year had its own interesting disciples. He spoke to them regularly.

In fact, he was speaking to one right now. And like every time an interesting person came up to his desk, he employed a secret strategy. One that he had developed through years of practise.

“I’m sorry sir, but I simply can’t help you.” He spoke in the blandest possible tone, keeping his smile faint and his eyes vacuous.

Tai Sho’s expression was the direct opposite, though it looked very similar; every part of his expression radiated an icy danger, from the amused twinkle in his eye to his charismatically playful smile. In any other situation, the man’s anger would have been terrifying – but the front desk of the administration wing was an impenetrable shield, so long as you obeyed the labyrinthine rituals that powered its existence.

In order to defeat trouble, you must simply make yourself as uninteresting as possible. Balance the scales. Since he had begun employing this secret method, his troubles with interesting people had decreased to less than half.

Tai Sho’s smile was immaculate, his teeth gleaming by the illusory light of a beauty spell. “Please, administrator. Surely you can at least query the archives?”

It was the third time he had asked that question, and Dan gave the same response. “As I’ve said, sir, access to restricted information requires an Elder to be present. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

The man's smile was wooden, for all that it looked like polished gold. "No, thank you."

The next day, he returned with a different argument. Dan rejected him, as he continued to lack the necessary credentials. And then the next day he returned, and Dan rejected him again. And the next day he returned…

As summer progressed, grappling with Tai Sho became an expected daily occurrence.

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Lu took a moment to admire the décor of the administrative wing for what might possibly be the last time. No, no, don’t think that way. It’s just a simple diplomatic/rescue mission. Nothing to worry about.

But his internal monologue couldn’t dispel the small sense of doom that had been building as the ‘Bigger Sit’ approached. You’ve got all your ducks in a row, Lu. Pills, treasures, spells, and on top of that there’s everything the rest of the sect will be doing… There’s simply no chance of failure, so there’s no need to dwell on it! A vague ‘bad feeling?’ That’s just nerves! Yes, he was sure everything would work out – with the number of disciples the sect was sending, it would take a catastrophe of unreasonable proportions to endanger the mission.

He sighed. It really was a beautiful environment, but he wasn’t in the mood to enjoy it. I suppose I’ll just get on with it. Reluctantly, he made his way past the lavishly appointed entrance to the front desks. As he approached, the sound of a very subdued argument came into focus.

There was a bit of a line, and from the expressions of the three waiting disciples towards the one at the desk, the culprit was obvious. It was a well-clothed man, who Lu thought was probably somewhere in the core realms based on the solidity of his spiritual sense.

Very well-put-together man. Good complexion. Lu shook his head. It’s too bad he doesn’t comport himself better. Causing a scene in the administrative wing? Rude, very rude. Also, very pointless.

“Yes, I know. But I’m telling you, I’ve been give special dispensation from Elder Seventh Wheel-“

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

A cold, dead voice cut him off. “If the Elder is not physically present, then I’m afraid I can’t help you sir.” Ah, that’s Administrator Dan. Apologies, mystery senior, but you are beseeching a heart of stone. The core disciple became more frustrated, some of his sense leaking out – but then all at once he seemed to master himself. Any trace of agitation on his face or posture melted away like morning frost. He looked back, sweeping his eyes over the other disciples. His eyes seemed to linger on Lu for a fraction of a moment before continuing and turning back to Dan. “Ah, I suppose I’m being a bit of a bother, aren’t I? Pardon me.” He stepped to the side, and bowed shallowly to the next man in line. “I shouldn’t be holding up my juniors; I’ll just wait patiently for another chance to make my case.”

The man raised an eyebrow, but the corpse of a soft “Can I help you, sir?” whispered from Dan's lips brought him forward. The line moved.

But as it went, Lu couldn’t help but let his eyes be drawn to the core disciple. It wasn’t anyone he knew, though that wasn’t surprising; the core disciples tended to keep to themselves, and didn’t mingle nearly as much as the outer and inner disciples. But still, something about him seems familiar. Perhaps I encountered him briefly in some past mission or the like?

He thought it unlikely; the man was striking, beauty arts causing him to resemble the subject of a master artist’s painting, even as he simply leaned against the counter. His simple arms-crossed posture was lit like a professional stage play. He seemed perfect, not in any uncanny way like overuse of layered arts could sometimes produce, but rather like the arts were merely a thin layer of paint applied to an immaculately carved statue. I would definitely recall a face like that. He’s nearly as handsome as I am!

And it seemed the senior reciprocated the attention. As the disciple in front of Lu stepped up to the front desk, the man beckoned him over. Lu glanced back towards the entrance, but it seemed there would be no one taking his spot if he stepped out of line. Ah, but should I really be talking to this person, who held up his fellow disciples and argued with the clerk?

…Well, of course, he is a core disciple. It would be quite rude on my part, to spurn his summons. He stepped to the side of the counter, drawing up next to the mystery senior. And who hasn’t had reason to quarrel with the bureaucracy, now and then? Certainly, they don’t make it easy on us normal disciples!

“Greeting, senior. You wished to speak with me?”

“Yes, I did.” He was wearing paint on his lips, the same colour as his favourite- no, the next moment it had shifted slightly in response to the movement of his mouth. What kind of art is that? Ah, I wonder if I can coerce the spellform out of him; it must be quite rare if I’ve never seen it before. “You are Lu, yes? Bull’s friend?”

Lu blinked. “Ah, yes. Bull and I have been friends for quite a while.”

The man’s expression became pained. “Would you happen to know what’s become of him? I’ve been asking around, but… Well, nobody seems to know where he is. If he’s even…” Alive, his expression said where his voice failed.

Lu’s heart swelled with empathy. “Oh dear, I didn’t think it was-“ No, I knew it was a secret. But as a core disciple, with the ear of an Elder, shouldn’t his influence be enough to..? The secret of the Sixth Reality was kept much looser these days, so it should have been trivial for the man to get hold of Bull’s whereabouts. Perhaps he’s being ostracised deliberately? “Before I say anything else, you are aware of the business in the, ah, the swamp, yes?”

His eyes flashed. “So it is related. I assumed, but…” Then his gaze shifted past Lu, to the other occupants of the room. “Perhaps it’s best not to speak here. Could I trouble you to visit me in my rooms, brother Lu?”

“Ah, I…” He glanced back himself. Again, not a secret secret… But if there are any foreigners visiting the sect, the administrative wing is where they’d be. “I do have some business to take care of, senior.”

He nodded. “Very well. Please, come to the core sect at your earliest opportunity; ask after Tai Sho, and I’ll be notified.” He ceased leaning on the edge of the desk, his arms uncrossing. He bowed shallowly, and the way light dappled through his hair called to mind a quiet forest glade. “I appreciate anything you could tell me.”

He left, and Lu watched him go before turning his attention to the front desk with a complicated expression. A pair of new disciples had managed to slip into the line without his notice, but that was a minor annoyance at worst. Ah, I’m not about to reveal anything sensitive, am I? He had no idea how much of a secret Bull’s location actually was – he had known from the start, after all. I’ll speak to an Elder before doing anything rash.

He stepped back into line, and soon he was face to face with Administrator Dan.

“How can I help you today, sir?”

From under his robes, Lu drew two objects: a small leather coin purse, inscribed with complex repeating patterns, and a stiff card of parchment, folded once and bound with thread. “I’d like for these items to be held, to be relinquished to the sect in the event of my death.”

The administrator’s eyes gained a spark that almost, almost made them seem alive. “Of course, sir. The card is the testament?”

“Yes, exactly.” Everything I’ve learned, all my experiments. If I die, hopefully someone will benefit from the work. Again, the mission should be as safe as could be, but… It’s a matter of mental peace. Yes, peace of mind is very important, more important than a spare spacial treasure.

Dan took the items, and bowed. “They’ll be stored with the utmost care, Disciple Lu. And of course, if at any time you should wish to retrieve them, you need only ask.” The look of sympathy on the man’s face was unsettling. Like watching a demon handing out candy to a group of children.

“Thank you, Sir Dan.”

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Dan handed the treasure and final testament to the vault guards, as always making sure to not look too closely at the servile figures – doing so always gave him a terrible headache, and it was poor etiquette besides.

Busy day for that grimness. Already there had been five disciples moving to set up an inheritance, and more who were updating an existing one. It isn’t even noon. Is there a secret mission I haven’t heard about? Have we been drafted into a war..? He couldn’t think of any other situation that would cause so many disciples to prepare for their deaths all at once.

He stood in place a moment, lost in thought, before shaking it off. No, no. There’s no way they’d be pressing men like Lu into a violent conflict – not before they went through the rest of us, at least. More likely it was something an eccentric Elder was pressing them into.

Well, it was none of his business, anyway. Dan headed back to his desk, internally cursing the scheduling conflict that meant he would be the only one manning the front for the next week straight.

He accepted over a dozen more inheritances before the day was done.