“Who stole my underwear? The Dark Lord is coming and I can’t ride to face him with my pecker hanging out!” - High Paladin Waltz “Small Pecker” Vonstein.   A series of shorts depicting the Rovaldan Lancers in their 2000 year struggle against the archenemy, The Dark Lord. Follow this not so prestigious order which guards The Bastion, a not so formidable fortress which is the obstacle standing in The Dark Lord’s way from invading the realm of Rovaldan. “Invasion? I just want to get an honest paying job and pay taxes. The Ruined Lands have terrible food and even worse entertainment. The standard of living here is truly terrible.” - An excerpt from an interview with The Dark Lord. Chapters will be short, between 400-1200 words, with at least three release a week and more if I am able. This is a serious attempt and writing not so serious fiction and thus should not be read by the faint-hearted. Controversial topics including current issues and politics may and shall be used along with tropes in a satirical manner. Read at your own risk as The Rovaldan Lancers deal with the everyday struggles of guarding a border no one want's guarded and their ongoing rivalry with The Dark Lord.