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4.42 - Bilgrob

There was a strange sense of comfort that came from the mad scramble. While it was a time of danger, Theo enjoyed watching the army assemble themselves in the harbor. They were an army now. If the adventurers wanted to call themselves something else, that was fine. But as they arrayed in their practiced formations, they looked like an army to the alchemist. He made his way to the harbor, checking in with Aarok and Luras at their command post to get an update.

“All this for a single ship?” Theo asked, letting out a disappointed sigh. “See, if my guns were operational, we could just sink it.”

From his perch on the wall, Theo could see the approaching boat clearly. Even calling it a ‘boat’ was generous. Logs were lashed together with strips of leather, a single man standing aboard and rowing. The figure was massive. At least twice as tall as a Half-Ogre, holding similar enough characteristics for the alchemist to figure it out. A lone Ogre rowed a raft for thousands of miles.

“Slagrot is far, right?” Theo asked. “Did this guy row that dinky raft all the way from Slagrot? Am I missing something?”

Aarok grunted. “Best to be careful. Right?”

“Yeah, I guess. Let’s see how he gets up the canal.”

Sarisa left with Tresk to join the stealther unit of the army. They ranged down the canal, heading off to gather intelligence on the approaching Ogre. Since it was a day meant for relaxation, Theo withdrew a chair from his inventory and sat down. Reports flooded in through the administration screen as he worked on his book. Compared to Basic Drogramath Alchemy—a book that he’d long-since abandoned—his approach was practical. Instead of hiding information in poems about dead Drogramathi warriors, he presented all the information in readable Qavelli.

“Rowan, do you know if there’s something like a printing press we can buy?” Theo asked, knowing that the man was always lurking nearby.

“Something to make books? Yeah.”

“Keep an eye out for one. I need to make at least one copy for Salire when I’m finished.”

Aarok cleared his throat. “The Ogre approaches. Want to talk to him, or should I just drop a large stone on his head?”

“He’s a fast one, huh?” Theo asked, standing to look over the wall. The Ogre was waving up at them, a stupid expression on his tusked face. The alchemist cleared his throat, shouting, so his voice carried. “Hello there! Who the hell are you?”

“An emissary! From Slagrot, come to parlay with the leader of the lost tribe!”

“He’s talking about you,” Luras chuckled, digging his elbow into Theo’s ribs.

“I never got the hang of it—does anyone know what level he is?”

“50.”

Theo could only shrug. The Ogre below bobbed in the turgid canal, only held where he was by the upgrade effect from the harbor. The alchemist turned to Aarok. “Your call.”

“Open the gate!” Aarok shouted, looking down at the Ogre below. “We’ll meet you in the harbor.”

That seemed to satisfy those gathered. While Aarok assembled his army in a defensive formation in the harbor, the approaching Ogre didn’t care. He paddled his way through the wide span of water, wrapping a leather rope around a piling. When he dismounted the raft, the dock flexed under his weight. Theo moved in for closer inspection, descending the battlements and joining the crowds on the dock. The Ogre was massive, as expected. His skin was a far darker shade than the Half-Ogres of the town, close to the edge of dark red-brown than ocher. He wore robes of puke-green that did nothing to hide his massive gut.

“You must be the leader!” The Ogre shouted, gesturing at Luras. “I can feel the power of Baelthar flowing through you.”

Luras shuffled awkwardly on the deck, gesturing to Theo.

“You’re led by a Demon? Oh, that’s what my Patron meant…” the Ogre trailed off, approaching Theo with reverent steps. He knelt at the alchemist’s feet, bowing his head. Even on his knees, the Ogre was as tall as him. “The Ogre Empire sends its regards, mighty Demon. My patron has urged me to make introductions for our two peoples. To reunite our lost tribe.”

Theo cleared his throat. “Uh… Rise, Mister… What’s your name?”

“Bilgrob,” the Ogre said, rising to his full height. “Worshiper of Spit.”

“Huh. Spit, eh? Alright. Rowan, could you please fetch us beer and bring it to my garden.”

Rowan bowed.

“Several kegs, if you don’t mind,” Bilgrob said. Rowan nodded, then vanished.

“Come with me, Bilgrob. I’ll be honest. I don’t know if I have a chair large enough for you.”

“I’m content sitting on the floor, mister… Well, I didn’t get your name, did I?”

“Theo. Archduke of the Southlands Alliance.”

“Oh, and a mighty alliance it must be.”

Bilgrob seemed interested in gawking at everything as they passed by. Whatever thoughts stirred in that massive head of his were kept there, only coming out as interested hums. True to his word, the Ogre sat on the ground as Rowan produced several kegs of Rivers and Daub mead.

“I brought my own cup,” Bilgrob said, holding out a barrel with a handle.

“Certainly,” Rowan said, emptying an entire cask of mead into the ‘mug’. “I’ll be near.”

“As will two others, apparently,” Bilgrob said with a chuckle. With a wave of his hand, the garden shook with magical power. Sarisa and Tresk were revealed lurking in the bushes. They shared an awkward look, then removed themselves from the tangle of growth.

Theo nodded, sipping on his mead. “Where do we start? You said you worshiped Spit?”

“My Lord Spit, yes. Ogre Patron of Curing Things Most of the Time.”

“That’s a mouthful. Why exactly did he send you here?”

“My patron wants to bring the Ogre Empire close to its lost children, including those in Broken Tusk. He sent me here as a peace offering. To cure your sick and mend your wounded, but… It appears the lost tribe has a powerful alchemist amongst them. Interesting.”

“I had assumed you were coming to establish trade relations. Does Spit want you to help with the tide of undead?”

“Ah, so you knew I was coming. A powerful alchemist indeed,” Bilgrob stopped speaking for a moment, looking up into the sky. His brow furrowed. “Does the wizard normally spy on you like this?”

“Huh?”

“A scrying spell,” Bilgrob said, reaching up as though plucking a thread from the air. He yanked hard, and the air shimmered with power, then fizzled out. “Hah! That’ll have that pesky wizard on his ass for an hour.”

Theo chuckled nervously. “The town wizard is just excited for a visitor. Especially one from Slagrot.”

It was impossible to read Bilgrob’s true intentions, but Theo felt no malice from the man. His faith in Spit was strong, but the Ogre patron didn’t seem evil. At least the mead was good.

“What do you think of my proposal, Archduke?”

“Ah, what was that exactly? Your proposal, that is.”

“I’d like to stay in your town. Provide healing where I can. In exchange, I want to act as a liaison for the Southlands Alliance and the Ogre Empire.”

Theo sipped his mead, thinking for a long time about this. The exchange seemed more generous than any he’d seen from the other nations. While his experience was minimal, this was a pleasant change. “That sounds agreeable to me. I have to ask if you’re willing to sign a contract.”

“A magically binding contract? Certainly!”

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

Theo and Bilgrob worked on the contract together. They chatted as they went through the sections of the writing. The alchemist left the section on the Ogre’s responsibilities loose. He focused on protections for the town and the alliance, wording it with grave intent. While he wasn’t sure if it would work, he hoped that the phrasing of the contract would provide a more brutal punishment.

When both parties were finished, signing the contract together, Bilgrob tilted his head to the side. He squinted, then dug some wax out of his ear. “My patron’s voice is muted here. There is a very strange confluence of energies here.”

“Hey, that’s a thousand gold word around here,” Theo chuckled. “Investigate, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t alter the flow of heavenly power.”

Bilgrob smacked his lips, as though he were tasting the air. “I don’t recognize this realm of power. A new realm, maybe? No, tastes too strange. Too weird. Hmmm…”

“We’ll just sweep that under the rug for now. Make introductions to the town. Meet with my administrative staff to get started.”

“Alright,” Bilgrob said, trailing off. He muttered to himself, standing up before jumping over the iron fence.

“That went well,” Tresk said, coming over.

Bilgrob was nice. Nicer than Theo expected him to be. The Ogre suspected the energies in the air were strange and it was hard to blame him. Anyone who was trained to detect godly realms would have noticed something was weird. Instead of focusing on how that would go wrong, he centered his mind on how it could go right. The more help they had with the unwieldy realms, the better.

“Right,” Theo said, reclining further into his chair. He withdrew his book and some scrimshaw to practice his magic.

“Aren’t we gonna follow him around? Make sure he’s cool?” Tresk asked, huffing.

“You said we were relaxing.” Theo took another sip of his beer. “Right now, I wanna hang out in the garden and write about alchemy.”

Tresk took a deep breath. She found a chair nearby and sat down, fidgeting with her leather armor. “I didn’t think you’d want to take it easy.”

“Well, I’m calling your bluff.”

While there were many ways to use wards, Theo felt his ability to wield them was still an infant’s grasp of the world. His current strategy was to attach the wards to objects and throw them. That was an alchemist’s thought process. His first brush with the true application of the wards was to apply them to a stone in front of town. The shielding effect was impressive, and there was no reason they couldn’t do that more often.

Theo sent mental commands to his golem network. He commanded his metal golems to find boulders and space them around the outside of the wall. Tresk seemed happy enough to sit around in the garden for a few minutes, but ‌she was too bored to stay there.

“Ugh, why don’t we go walk around or something?” Tresk asked. She had only lasted about 10 minutes.

“Sure,” Theo said, putting his notebook back into his inventory. The few [Lesser Hallow Ground] totems he’d created gave him a little experience. The real experience would be in enchanting the boulders the golems were collecting.

The group headed off. Tresk, Theo, and Alex led the way with Sarisa and Rowan lurking in the shadows behind them. Alise updated the notes for the day in the shared administrator interface. Bilgrob was a big hit within town, but that came with some drawbacks. Spit’s magic was a strange thing, and it was something the alchemist wanted to witness for himself. But there were citizens with sicknesses that the Ogre was happy to cure.

It wasn’t hard to convince Tresk to let him enchant the rocks the golems brought. It wasn’t like grinding other cores. Grinding the [Toru’aun Mage’s Core] was like chanting weird poetry while in a seated position. The Marshling qualified that as relaxation time, even if she was looking for ways out of her own promise. She was stubborn like that. The alchemist’s mage core rolled over to 10 sometime before dusk. With it came the task of searching through endless abilities.

“Still not sure I understand what it means to be a wizard,” Theo said, scrolling through that list.

“Don’t look at me. I’m a stabber. I stab.”

Theo nodded. There was one ability he was interested in taking. He inspected the description before going through with it.

[Ward Propagation]

Toru’aun Demon Mage Skill

Rare

Infuse your wards with a feedback loop that consumes raw power.

Effect:

Double the length of all your wards.

Not every ability pick was going to be amazing. Some were just alright, but at least this one had great utility. If his magic could linger for a longer time, he wouldn’t have to tend his little rock barriers outside of the town. He selected those, then moved on to a pathetically sized boulder the golems had collected.

For now, Theo was warding the stones with [Lesser Hallow Ground], and some [Lesser Reveal]. It was unlikely that the undead would make it this far, but the ghosts got him thinking. When they attacked the town, there was little defense against them. Now with his rocks running off the [Detect Enemy] trigger, he’d feel safer. His mind lingered on defensive weapons as he walked the wall’s exterior. It was too difficult to walk the section of land between the eastern gate and the area near Ziz’s quarry, so they mounted the battlements from the inside.

“Do you think I’m too paranoid?” Theo asked, looking down at a pair of golems. They were shoving their weight against a giant boulder.

“Damn, I don’t think you’re paranoid enough! There could be ghosts anywhere. Undead rolling up the hills in a blink—we’d never know!”

“I’m having trouble here. Even with the connection I can’t tell if you’re joking.”

“Oh, I’m as serious as a heart attack. Just the thought of those boney bastards at Gronro gives me the creeps. We gotta purge them all, Theo. They gotta die.”

“Not sure if you can kill an undead. They’re already dead, right?”

“You know what I mean.”

“We’re already doing everything we can to develop the adventurers in town. I’ll be happy as long as the rail gun works.”

“Nah, we gotta think bigger. Like… We gotta think about making an undead nuke.”

“Not sure about that one. I have a few ideas for anti-undead weapons, but a nuke isn’t one.”

“Bah. No fun. Why not?”

That was hard to explain in a few words. Theo thought about it as they walked around. The effect of bombs didn’t normally compound. The best he could do was make an improvised bomb… Maybe dunk it in a barrel of [Hallow Ground Essence]? The alchemist wasn’t confident that the mechanics would work out on that one. It would make more sense just to bomb all the undead back to the hells.

“Thinking on that…”

“You didn’t answer the question!” Tresk shouted, stomping her foot.

“You can read my mind.”

“Yeah, but it’s rude.”

Theo explained why an anti-undead nuke might not work. He wasn’t confident either way, but Tresk was happy with any explanations.

“So, people often say ‘hells’. But we don’t have hell, do we? Not the way we had it back on Earth.”

“Your mistake is equating this place to the old place, my dude. It’s just a way of saying things.”

They moved off to hang out at Ziz’s quarry for a while. The masons were resting and planning for their next move. They were a group in town that seemed like their own country. While they interacted with everyone, and were true Broken Tuskers, their level of organization and drive was unending. The Half-Ogres were happy to chat, and even happier to make fun of Theo for taking a day off. As always, they offered beer.

“It’s impolite not to accept, Theo.” Tresk had already chugged down several mugs. “Nothing wrong with a little day drinking.”

Theo popped [Mana Pills] as he walked around the quarry, warding whatever he could find. He stooped low, inspecting the plants that grew there. Nothing alchemically valuable seemed to grow in the northern hills, aside from stray [Stone Flowers] and [Roc Berry] bushes. One plan he had from long ago had never come to fruition, and it was mildly disappointing. With so much godly power in the air, making plants grow faster, he expected that power to change the local reagents. Alex joined him near a bush, poking at it with her bill.

I feel your disappointment.

“No… I mean, yes. I’m moderately disappointed.” Theo took the [Stone Flower] in his hands, watching it crumble. The uncultivated version wasn’t of much use. “But you can’t hold it over yourself when something doesn’t work. You’re going to fail in life. But the more you fail, the better you get.”

Alright, dad.

“Oh, you’re sassy today.”

Alex honked. I’m close to getting my nature affinity. So close.

Shadows swirled behind Theo. He didn’t turn to regard Sarisa when she came out from the shadow of a pile of stone. “I’m organizing a garden party tonight.”

“Oh?” Theo turned, regarding his assistant. “What’s the occasion?”

“Bilgrob’s arrival. I just wanted to know who to invite.”

“The normal people… Make sure to invite Salire, though. I don’t want her to think I’m neglecting her.”

“Not to be rude, sir…”

“I don’t have eyes for her,” Theo said, shaking his head. “Well, maybe I do. But not in that way, it would be weird. Like a teacher getting with a student, you know?”

“I’m not sure I do.”

“From the start, Salire just wanted to learn alchemy. When she couldn’t she settled for the shopkeeper position. Now, she might get a core. I’m the teacher, she’s the student. There’s trust in that, Sarisa. Trust I don’t want to break.”

“Also you’re leashed to an angry lizard.”

Theo looked over at his angry lizard, who was downing another mug of beer with the Half-Ogres. There were a lot of Marshlings in town, but that one was his. When he first heard about the life-partner bond, he was told it would leave him devoid of romance in his life. He had pushed it out of his mind, but those were rumors. Things that Throk said in the early days of his arrival in Broken Tusk. The system message he saw when he took the bond didn’t mention that at all.

“I’m wondering how much of what people understand about the Tara’hek is true. I don’t think it places restrictions on romantic interest.”

Sarisa scoffed, looking down at herself. She looked all around, as though searching for other examples of romantic partners. “Surely not. I’d be running through every house in town if I was the Archduchess. If you know what I mean.”

“I’m afraid I know exactly what you mean.”

Theo reached for the familiar silver chain at his neck. Something that hadn’t hung there since he was on Earth. No matter how much he practiced away that motion, it never faded. He wouldn’t trade his bond with Tresk for anything. She was a powerful ally. But that hole in his heart still throbbed occasionally. Jagged edges that would never be smoothed clean by time seemed to prickle in his chest. Made worse by the idea that maybe she had survived. Against all odds, maybe she made it to this world.

The alchemist almost stumbled forward. Powerful arms wrapped themselves around him. The unmistakable smell of the swamp and onions. Slightly wet skin pressed against his cheek. “Not everything ends like in the stories, Theo,” Tresk said. “Not every love is the same.”

Theo rose to his feet, bringing Tresk with him. She dangled from his neck, unwilling to let go. He placed his hand over hers and nodded. “I suppose we have a garden party to attend.”