Dave stared at Zorg, his mouth hanging open in a most ungodly manner. He took a sip of the "tea" and immediately regretted it, his taste buds screaming in protest. "I'm sorry, did you just say 'rite of passage'? There are more gods who've lost their powers?"

Zorg grinned, seeming to enjoy Dave's discomfort. "Oh, loads! You wouldn't believe how many deities have popped in for a chat over the years. Zeus, Odin, even that bloke Ra. All fallen victim to the ol' omnipotence paradox."

Dave sputtered, nearly choking on his tea. "But... but I've never heard of this happening before! And I'm supposed to be all-knowing... or at least I was."

"Ah, see, that's the catch," Zorg said, waggling his finger. "Once you lose your omnipotence, you also lose the memory of other gods losing theirs. Keeps the cosmic balance, or so I'm told. It's all very hush-hush."

Dave slumped onto a conveniently placed tree stump that served as a chair. "So, what you're telling me is that I'm just another in a long line of duped deities? That's... that's..."

"Hilarious?" Zorg offered helpfully.

"I was going to say 'mortifying,' but sure, let's go with hilarious," Dave grumbled. "So, wise guy, if you've seen this all before, I suppose you know how to fix it?"

Zorg's face lit up like a child on Christmas morning. "Oh yes! It's quite simple, really. All you have to do is..." He paused dramatically, "...complete three impossible tasks!"

Dave waited for the punchline. When none came, he sighed deeply. "Three impossible tasks. Of course. Because that makes perfect sense. Care to elaborate?"

Zorg began pacing excitedly around the hut, nearly knocking over a precariously balanced stack of stone tablets. "Well, you see, to regain your omnipotence, you must prove that you can overcome paradoxes. So, task number one: you must create a stone so heavy that you cannot lift it, and then lift it!"

Dave pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. "And how exactly am I supposed to do that without my powers?"

"That's the fun part!" Zorg exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "You have to figure it out as a mortal. It's like a team-building exercise, but for your divinity."

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"Alright," Dave said, already regretting asking, "what's the second task?"

Zorg's eyes twinkled mischievously. "You must travel to yesterday and convince your past self not to create humans in the first place. Thus preventing this whole mess from ever happening!"

Dave blinked slowly. "But... if I prevent it from happening, then I wouldn't be here to prevent it from happening, which means it would happen, which means I would be here to prevent it... oh, for the love of me, my head hurts."

"Exactly!" Zorg beamed. "You're getting it now!"

"I'm really not," Dave muttered. "And the third task? Let me guess, I have to count to infinity twice?"

Zorg looked offended. "Don't be ridiculous. The third task is simple. You must find the universal answer to the question of life, the universe, and everything."

Dave perked up slightly. "Oh, that's easy. It's 42."

Zorg shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid not. That was the old answer. It's been updated recently. Cosmic inflation and all that, you know."

Dave slumped back onto his stump-chair, feeling utterly defeated. "So, let me get this straight. To regain my godhood, I need to perform three logically impossible tasks, without any powers, all while being a mere mortal?"

Zorg nodded enthusiastically. "That's the spirit! And don't worry, I'll be coming along to help. Well, 'help' might be a strong word. Let's say I'll be there to offer moral support and witty commentary."

As Dave contemplated the absurdity of his situation, he couldn't help but wonder if staying a mortal might be the easier option. But then he remembered the cosmic bus ride and shuddered. No, he had to regain his powers. The universe clearly needed adult supervision.

"Alright, Zorg," Dave said, standing up with newfound determination. "Let's do this. Where do we start?"

Zorg grinned, reaching behind his back and pulling out a comically oversized backpack. "First things first. We're going to need supplies. How do you feel about cheese sandwiches and ridiculously long lengths of string?"

And so, the fallen god and the paradox-loving human set off on their impossible quest, blissfully unaware