Wei Cabbage-Heart wanted to be a mighty cultivator who called down heaven's thunder. Unfortunately, heaven's thunder called back and killed him, and now I'm stuck in his body with uselessly wide spiritual meridians. Throwing lightning bolts? Fighting young masters? Pursuing immortality through meditation and pills? Nah, I'm good. I'm going to grow people instead. From corpses. Like cabbages. Armed with nothing but a sturdy shovel, a general understanding of cultivation, and a reluctant spirit beast adviser bird-person who keeps threatening to eat me, I'm going to revolutionize the cultivation world through explosive gardening and questionable corpse disposal techniques. Join Cabbage-Heart as he:-Turns an infamous young mistress into fertilizer-Adopts a critically depressed banshee-Creates an army of questionable violet cabbage Short story participant in the January 2025 Community Magazine Contest [Dead men tell the best tales]!