TIMOTHY WAS MILDLY DISAPPOINTED.
He was supposed to be famous by now, but no one even noticed he was missing, except Stapes. However, he supposed having privacy was a good thing. The last thing he needed was to have someone take a picture of him last night when he was still in his McDonalds uniform.
For some reason, Timothy was almost relieved to repeat his morning ritual, as if he had missed doing in for a long time. He shaved (being careful not to cut himself this time) and showered, happy to get all the grit off himself. He had been so tired last night that he had barely been able to brush his teeth before dosing off to sleep.
He treated himself to a nice, hot breakfast (though it was already one in the afternoon) full of pancakes made from scratch. Stapes was also glad that Timothy had returned. The doctor, presumably, had not given him his favorited treats. Timothy gave Stapes an extra helping of bone-shaped doggie biscuits.
Not every day was this easy, Timothy reminded himself. Half of the time, Timothy wouldn’t even be in his house. He’d be in some cheap hotel close to the site of the dig. If not, Timothy would be in some stuffy room, staring at an old, boxy computer screen, analyzing data.
People always thought archeologists had a “cool” job. They’d imagine dramatic scenes, when a rare dinosaur bone is found, or an ancient sword. Some would describe men with ginormous magnifying glasses, polishing and piecing together pieces of beautiful pottery. In reality, most of Timothy’s work was determining that one pile of dust was older than another pile of dust, or if this bit of dirt was more important than that bit of dirt.
However, Timothy had been granted a break after his recent breakthrough, so his days were easy and carefree.
At least, they were supposed to be carefree. Unfortunately, he managed to get his dog sick and also get amnesia during his vacation.
Just before Timothy was about to leave the house to walk Stapes, his phone rang. Snorting a sigh of disgust, he picked up his cell phone and answered the call.
“What?” he yelled into the speaker, frustrated.
“Timothy!” an unnaturally cheerful doctor replied, “just the person I wanted!”
“You called me for heaven’s sake! Did you think it would be my lover who would answer the phone?”
“How are things going with your girlfriend, by the way?”
“Doctor, I know you don’t like small talk. Get to the point.”
The doctor coughed. “Ah, yes, well. You know the little glow-in-the-dark splinter—”
“Not interested. Goodbye.”
“No, no, no. Wait! WAIT!”
“What?”
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“I think I can find more of it!”
“Good for you.”
“But I need your help! I don’t have your, er, digging expertise!”
“Doctor,” Timothy growled, “what you’re asking me to do is work on my vacation.”
“Well, if you put it that way—”
“Are you out of your mind? Goodbye!” Timothy hung up on the doctor’s protests. He threw the phone across the room, before realizing that he’d regret it later. Oh, well. He picked up Stapes’s leash, and marched out the door.
And nearly hit a familiar face.
“Oh, hey Timothy! Long time no see!”
Timothy stopped dead. “You.”
“Yes, me! I did just hear you, but I didn’t see you. Of course, I did see you yesterday, but yesterday seems so long ago.”
“Please don’t tell me you were outside the whole time.”
“Well,” the doctor replied sheepishly, “I had expected you to say yes, and you didn’t have a car so…”
“You came here.”
“Yep.”
Stapes barked and yapped angrily at the doctor who had caused him so much pain. “Stapes,” Timothy command, “bite this man’s leg off, and you can have it tonight for dessert.”
“Please!” the doctor pleaded, “this can be the biggest thing in my career! And you’ll get credit for it too! And there’s this really pretty lady involved!”
“You forget it’s you who doesn’t have a girlfriend. Or any fame, for that matter.”
“Please, Timothy! I don’t know who else to turn to! And you can bring your dog. Your dog can help.”
Timothy’s curiosity perked up. What could get the doctor to plead so desperately? He had mentioned the little green splinter which, for some, reason, the doctor was so obsessed about. But Timothy refused to work on a vacation day. He decided to implement a technique he had learned from the doctor himself. “I’ll consider the proposal,” he replied professionally, “but what do I get from it?”
“Two free flu shots!”
“I can get that at my local pharmacy.”
“One free appointment!”
“Do you want me to get sick?”
“One free animal microchip removal!”
“What?”
“Oh, yeah,” the doctor remarked slyly, “I found a microchip impeded behind your dog’s collar when I x-rayed him the other day. I forgot to mention it the other day.”
“My dog’s being tracked?”
“Really quite normal, actually. I’m assuming your dog was a stray? The microchip is of no use now, though there can be complicated side-effects in the future. I could get it out pretty easily.”
“I agree!” Timothy cried, “I’ll go on this expedition! Anything! Just get the microchip out!”
“No problem. Get in the car then.”
Timothy obeyed, feeling a sense of déjà vu, though this time the doctor allowed him to sit in the front.
----------------------------------------
IN A FEW MINUTES, THE TEAM WAS ASSEMBLED.
“Timothy, meet Oakley. Oakley, Timothy.”
The two shook hands. Stapes barked to acknowledge his presence.
“Hello,” Timothy greeted politely, “Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too. Is that your dog?”
“Yes! His name is Stapes!”
“Cute!” Oakley turned to the doctor, “But couldn’t we just go inside the building to do our introductions? Why the parking lot?”
“Faster,” the doctor replied. “Also, why are you two so polite? You always treat me like garbage.”
“I bet you would’ve treated me like garbage if I couldn’t pay for my treatment,” Timothy replied.
“Man’s got to earn a living. Come on, let’s go.” The doctor headed back to the family van.
Oakley sat in the front, while Timothy had to content himself in the back seat. This time, however, the ride wasn’t as silent as the other one. Oakley and Timothy chatted, while the doctor continued to grit his teeth and yell at them for being too loud.
The party of three arrived at the tailor’s house, where they barely had time to introduce themselves before the dressmaker shooed them to the forest.
In the midst of the confusion, two small figures, a robot, and a standing cat slipped through the trees, unnoticed and unseen.