"STRANGE."
"Yes, very," Oakley agreed. Just before she exited the ship, the rabbits injected her with something that immediately sobered her up. Apparently she had gone insane for a while, and she did have very strange memories of cats and crawling.
"Well," Timothy said, throwing his hands up. "That's that."
"I wonder," the doctor mused, "how much money I've lost."
"You recovered fast," Oakley said dryly.
"But doc," Timothy said, "now we know for certain that the glowing thing was alien. You could get millions from discovering a new element! You know how much scientists would pay for such an insignificant thing."
"Don't you remember?" the doctor grumbled. "I took off my coat. The shard was in my coat pocket."
Oakley stared blankly at the doctor, wanting to express all her disbelieve at the doctor's idiocy in a single word. But suddenly, almost as if against her will, she uttered a giggle, and burst into a hearty laughter, throwing her head back and howling. Her laughed echoed across the large open field they had been dropped into.
After a few moments of confusion, Timothy managed to catch Oakley's eye. It turned out he did not only catch her eye, but also her contagious laughter and he too began to double over and laugh, tears squeezing out of her eyes.
Only the doctor remained stoic and serious, his frown deepening each passing second. He despised inside jokes he did not understand, and especially jokes that arise from his own words.
"I don't see anything to laugh about," he said coldly, though this only seemed to spark a fresh round of giggles.
"Oh, doc, look at you," Oakley gasped. "Remaining cool and collected like a professional medical man should. But we lowly patients enjoy a good laugh."
"Laugh about what?" the doctor demanded.
"Doctor!" Timothy exclaimed reproachfully. "We just escaped from alien rabbits, while driving around the country chasing a thirteen-year-old. And here you are, worrying about money and time when you can just stop and think about spaceships and aliens. Don’t you think that deserves a good laugh?"
The doctor remained motionless. "I don't like jokes to be made at my expense."
Oakley and Timothy's laughter instantly ceased. But after one glance, they erupted in loud squeals, screeching fragments of sentences.
"He…he…" Timothy gasped, "he said…"
Apparently, this was all that was needed to spark shrieks of joy from Oakley. "St—stop it! Stop making me laugh!"
"But he said—"
"Ah! Stop! The doctor might actually need to mend my broken ribs now!"
"You stop! You heard him, he doesn't want jokes made at his expense!"
"It's getting late. We need to find our car," the doctor said without amusement.
"Ha! You heard that?"
"I heard that? Yes I did! We'll be back before supper Ma!"
"Ha!"
And like all good stories, the sun set on the silhouette of a large brave man dragging two limp bodies behind him.
----------------------------------------
"NICK, HOW DID YOU KNOW WHERE I WAS?"
It had been a week after the rabbits have left from Earth. Nick and Exflibberaguil sat in a little clearing in a forest, staring at the pitch-black ship.
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"You told me on Conspearisee, remember?" Nick replied, not looking at him.
"No, before that. How did you know I was on the ship when he 'rescued' me?"
"Oh, that," Nick sighed, stretching out her legs and shaking her head. "Stars don't blink."
"Pardon?"
"Never mind. But I have I question for you. Why Conspearisee?"
"What do you mean, why?" Exflibberaguil asked, genuinely confused.
"It's terrible spelling."
"All the good domain names were taken," he pointed out. "And then I saw a spear lying on the side of my desk. It used to be a convict, you know, when it still had batteries. But now it only serves juice."
Nick furrowed her brow, trying to follow Exflibberaguil's strange explanation. "Ah, I see. Con-spear-I-see. Clever."
"Really? I didn't think so at the time. I was just getting desperate. But I suppose Sodriew like it."
"Ha," Nick chuckled softly looking to the side. "Why do you insist on calling us Sodriew? You have perfect English."
Exflibberaguil shrugged. "Because—what's the saying—call a spade a spade? That's why."
"What?"
"Did you never notice?" Exflibberaguil exclaimed. "Here, let me show you." He reached for a nearby twig, and began writing in the dirt.
Nick looked over reluctantly, still unable to meet his eye. Exflibberaguil didn't seem to mind. He was intent on his writing.
DRIEW
"Driew," Nick said, "or Earth."
Exflibberaguil didn't reply. He cleared the leaves under the word, and began writing another word.
DRIEW
WEIRD
Nick took several seconds to comprehend it, before suddenly throwing her head back and groaned. "Oh, I'm such an idiot. You've been insulting me all this time?"
Exflibberaguil smiled and shrugged. "It was a test. You failed."
"I can't believe it. You've been calling my planet weird, and all us humans weirdos."
"I can find no better description."
Nick shook her head, but giggling despite herself. "You know, a few days ago I had been thinking about how I'm a cracked oyster. But I've decided that you are not an oyster at all. I think you're a mussel."
"A mussel? Why?"
Nick laughed. "Well, you can hardly be called an oyster like the rest of use humans. And Mussel sounds like Mustela, and that's good enough for me."
"The simplicity of your brain never ceases to amaze me."
"Are you quoting your ferret?"
"Maybe," Exflibberaguil said sheepishly. "My insults have been deteriorating in quality when the only thing I can practice them against is my translator, who just begins to smack talk me in another language I don't know if I ever get too good at my game."
Nick pouted, but said nothing. They lapsed into a silence, admiring the dappled sunlight on the leaves. Though it was peaceful, she knew there was one question left unasked.
"So," Exflibberaguil said finally, in a quiet voice, "what are you going to do?"
Nick was glad he asked first. "After all the police stop obsessing over me? I'll go visit my mom, I guess. She'll be let out soon. And in the meantime, I'll make the most out of my current situation with my cousins. I managed to take care of that eight-year old by beating him at his favorite video game, and I'll try to get a little money from my art online so my uncle would stop glaring at me. "
"Art?"
"Why not?" Nick said, as if she was arguing. Her face turned red. "I have hobbies too."
Exflibberaguil laughed softly, his chuckles fading away into another period of silence.
"Well? Aren't you going to ask me what I'm going to do?" Exflibberaguil asked at last.
Nick looked away. "Is that necessary?" she asked meekly.
"I'm going to tell you anyway," Exflibberaguil replied firmly, "though I suppose you already know. I'll have to leave."
Nick nodded. "I know."
"Now, as a matter of fact."
"Now? It's the middle of the day! You'll be seen for sure."
"Good. I'll play final prank on your Sodriew before I leave."
Nick sighed. "You can pass as a human, you know."
"A human, and a kidnapper," Exflibberaguil pointed out. "But aside from that, you only saved your own planet. In fact, you probably made the situation worse for the sophisticated planets. I have to fight."
"I know," Nick whispered. She glanced at him. "But did I do anything to help?"
"Of course!" Exflibberaguil exclaimed, grinning lopsidedly. "You taught me loads?"
"Really?"
"Sure! Like, um, never take a sidekick."
Nick snorted and began giggling, though a emotion swelled in her chest. Exflibberaguil laughed along, keeping an eye on her.
"Are you…crying?" he asked suddenly.
"No!" Nick shouted loudly. "I'm…I'm sensitive!"
"Still crying," Exflibberaguil teased.
"I'm sensitive to the heat!" she screamed. "My eyes are sweating!"
They paused, realizing what Nick said. Then they resumed their laughter, with Nick hastily wiping away her tears.
"Well then," Exflibberaguil panted once he recovered. "G'bye."
"Bye," Nick replied with a small wave.
Exflibberaguil clambered into his ship, climbing the steps by twos. Just as the staircase began to retract and close, he turned around and gave a small smile.
Nick smiled back, though her puffy red eyes gave her away.
The door shut with a puff and a click. Nick stared at it as it began to hum. A light blinked on it's consuming black body. It coughed, and just as Nick began to worry it was malfunctioning, it blew up a great cloud of dust and smoke. Nick staggered back, shielding her eyes from the debris. A great wind howled in the trees, breaking branches and swaying trees.
When the dust settled back, it was gone.