DING DING DING
Echoed the bells through the halls, announcing the end of the mandatory daily classes.
Hearing it, the teacher and the students of age fifteen, prepared their possessions in order to leave.
However, just before the teacher left, his mouth spat out a few words. Those words made the students groan in displeasure, as none of them liked having homework assigned for the day. After all, was it not enough that they spent so much of their precious childhood already cramming everything they could into their still-growing minds?
Still, as entitled the students were to their feelings, every one of them had long learned of the uselessness of complaining out loud, therefore, aside from the groans, they kept their mouths from voicing their feelings.
Instead, they replied with ‘Yes, Teacher’ and eagerly awaited said teacher to leave the classroom so they too could take their leave and finally escape school for the day. Nevertheless, as eager as they were to leave, rushing for the exit was a bad idea because it signaled that their upbringing and teachings had room for improvement. Hence, leaving the classroom and the school was an organized and stressless exercise in the form of patient behavior.
While waiting for her turn, indicated by the clicks one belonged in and their popularity within them, Hannah displayed no abnormal behavior or remorse at being the last one to leave out of thirty students in her class.
To others, it may sound bad, but to her, it was a blessing in disguise, most of the time, and there were many reasons for that.
The main one was her average looks, while her average bodily curves made her even more average. On top of that, Hannah was far more petite when compared to the other girls her age. Adding on top of that, the brown bangs hanging from her forehead hid much of her face, so her countenance made her seem distrustful, thereby signifying why Hannah ranked so low with her fellow students.
Nonetheless, since she was a girl, her being the last one to leave was a present anomaly not seen in the other freshmen classes, or the entire school, for that matter.
The reason?
A constant aura of coldness and gloominess surrounded her. Only this one was not imaginative, but a literal one, as the few boys sitting near her desk confirmed. Naturally, teenagers being teenagers, a secret test was concluded just to confirm Hannah’s cold and gloomy aura. But much to their disappointment, the thermometer failed to display any abnormality they all felt.
Either way, in truth, Hannah’s aura made most students, and people in general, instinctively veer out of her way.
As a result, most chose to ignore or outright forget about her.
At the beginning of the school year, when everybody was nervous about entering high school, a few girls tried to befriend Hannah despite trying their best to ignore their hair-raising goosebumps and shivering spines from unconsciously affecting them.
Nonetheless, Hannah’s harsh remarks alienated all of them, even the adolescent hormonally-filled boys.
Having already prepared her school bag, Hannah awaited the moment when everybody else was gone and made her way outside the school. However, just as she was about to leave the building, altogether, her brown eyes spotted three girls with pretty faces, and bountiful chests, stepping in her way.
Sarrah, blond-haired and blue-eyed, pointed at the restroom designated for girls, while Tina and Charli quickly surrounded Hannah from the left and right. Then, Tina and Charlie leaned in on Hannah’s shoulders before covertly grasping her two arms to force Hannah inside said restroom.
Hannah, seeing and feeling everything going on, knew what awaited her. Still, even knowing it was coming, her face made no distinct expression regarding the upcoming bullying event.
It was as if it simply was of no consequence to her, and that fact could be seen within her brown eyes because there was not one tiny shred of will to fight or resist the three girls when they grabbed her by the arms and pulled her inside.
Once inside, Tina and Charlie pinned Hannah to a wall and held her there while Sarrah, the blond and blue-eyed bully, cursed at Hannah’s existence while pulling on her shoulder-length brown hair before lightly slapping on her face to avoid leaving long-lasting markings.
All of it was to assert her own dominance over Hannah.
Hannah knew that. Nevertheless, as usual with the events, she simply made no outward display of being bothered by her attempts of coercion.
If outsiders saw this, they would assume that Hannah did not feel the pain. In fact, it was the opposite. Hannah was far more sensitive to pain than normal humans. The difference, however, was that, unlike typical humans, Hannah welcomed the pain, and gladly at that, because it brought out something from within her mind.
Because that something was better than the void of meaningless she lived in.
Watching the angry grunts of displeasure, the freshmen school beauty produced by not receiving the acknowledgment of superiority, made Hannah wonder why she even bothered living her life.
In truth, she asked herself that constantly, and had it not been for the pills she was made to swallow since she was eight, she probably would have already killed herself. Not like it was that hard, after all, all it took was one misstep on her way to school, and she would be trampled by a car or truck.
Barring the simple way out? There was still jumping from the school rooftop. That was enough height to kill her. Yes, it would be marginally harder to accomplish ever since the last time a student jumped off of the building, at least if the rumors she heard were correct, but it was doable if she could just muster the proper emotional motivation to do it.
In the end, there was the knife-to-wrist method of slowly bleeding and wasting away.
However, despite having thought of it many times, Hannah disliked it because it reminded her of something else. Something she tried to hide and forget about every day. Only never succeeding because its constant reminder always reminded her of it, like in this very moment when her eyes witnessed a giant tentacle reach out from the top of her head only to plunge into the prima-donna of the freshmen year.
Almost instantly, Hannah sensed the Fear bubbling within Sarrah.
Almost immediately, Hannah felt the sucking sensations emanating from the prima-donna of the first years.
Used to it, Hannah ignored the tentacular hallucination, the sensations it delivered to her, the flavors it shared, or the chortling and chirping sounds it conveyed from out of nowhere.
Once it was over, Hannah spoke. “Are you done?” She asked Sarrah, the blond and blue-eyed prima-donna no longer able to hide her fear-based emotional response.
Then, that same fear-based emotional response switched to anger, resulting in a fist blow to Hannah’s stomach.
Taking a moment and a deep breath, the prima-donna with blond hair, making her look like a prettied-up doll, replied. “I am now, FREAK.” In the same instance, the other two girls released their hold on Hannah, causing her body to plop down on the tiled floor.
“Let’s go.” With the order given, the three bullies left Hannah to her own devices.
Once the three bullies were gone, Hannah slowly stood up.
With somewhat weak steps, she reached one of the sinks and opened the valve to pour out cold water. With it, she washed her face and straightened her hair since being seen otherwise only brought more attention to her door.
All the while fixing her appearance, Hannah distinctly ignored the silver tentacle veering out of her head and tapping the top of her head alongside the chorting and chirping sound telling her she had been a good girl.
Done petting her, the silver tentacle vanished back inside Hannah’s head.
In the same instant, the hallucination withdrew, Hannah quickly took a plastic container from her school bag. Then, urgently opening the plastic container, and grabbing the pills it contained, she swallowed them down her throat with some water on the side to lubricate the process.
That done, and after fixing the last few displaced strands of hair, Hannah hung her school back from her left shoulder and made her way out of the school building.
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Just like the last time it happened, Hannah got grabbed and shoved into the restroom.
Just like the previous time, Hannah was ganged on by three fifteen-year-old girls, with two holding her hands and pushing her against the wall while the third one cursed, slapped, and hit her in the stomach.
Pain flared, for a single moment, but Hannah failed to utter or display any indication it affected her.
The third girl, Sarrah, did not like that one bit.
It made her hair stand and her spine tingle from bodily reactions she barely recognized, much less understood.
“DAMN FREAK!” Sarrah shouted. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Not quite seeing the response, nor liking the emotionless brown eyes gazing back at her, she quickly slapped Hannah again. “Say something.”
“Are you done?” Hannah said, but it was clear to her those were not the words her bully desired.
“Gggrrr…” Slapping once again, Sarrah realized that she had used too much force. Now her palm would stay on the girl's face for quite a while. Just as she wanted to slap again to release her frustrations once more, her shivering body felt that sucking sensation forced on her again. And just like every other time, and that first time that had started all this, the fifteen-year-old prima-donna of the freshmen’s year cursed out loud. “You… DAMN FREEK.”
However, unlike the previous day, just shouting was not enough to release her frustrations, yet it was evident that physical violence was not phasing Hannah. Unsure of how to make her submit, the blond bully noticed the bag on the tiled floor. Setting her eyes on it, Sarrah crouched down and opened up the zipper to take a look at what was hidden.
It did not take long for her to find something in the form of a plastic box. Shaking it a few times, it was clear that something was inside.
“What’s this?” The blond bully asked, only no answer reached her ears. Yet, somehow the brown eyes seemed more expressive than before. “Fine… If you don't say it, let's open it.”
Open she did, but what she saw was not what she expected.
Taking her eyes from the pills, Sarrah stared at Hannah’s brown emotionless eyes that seemed to contain a chill within them. ”Drugs? Is that what makes you a… FREAK?”
“Tell me!!!” The blond girl demanded, but Hannah simply stayed silent.
“Hmph…” Grunting in displeasure, the Sarrah settled her blue eyes on a toilet stall. Quickly opening the door, the toilet was within her view. Placing the plastic box above the toilet, the blond bully took one last glance at Hannah before quickly tilting the box and dropping every single pill inside the toilet before pulling on the plug and flushing everything down into the sewer.
Done with the deed, she turned around and settled her blue eyes on Hannah. When she did, she noticed Hannah’s body shaking, her mouth opening and closing, all while her face tried to express something, yet failed every time.
However, it was in the brown eyes that the blond bully finally understood the truth.
She had found the Freak’s weakness.
Grasping on the moment, her haughty voice spoke with a commanding tone. “There… From now on if you don't behave, I will do it again, and again, and again… Understood, FREAK?”
Hannah made no reply.
Instead, her eyes settled on the toilet.
Moments later, images flashed through her mind. They forced her to struggle against her holders. The two girls, Tina and Charlie, clearly not having expected the abrupt change in Hannah’s behavior failed to keep her in check. As such, Hannah easily freed herself and rushed for the toilet, and even pushed aside her blond bully before sticking her hand inside the toilet water to try and fish out any of the pills.
Nonetheless, it was already too late.
The swirling whirlpool of water had been just too strong to leave anything behind.
Seeing the strong reaction from Hannah, the two bullies that had held Hannah all this time she was bullied, their faces showed instant regret.
“J.J… Just what kind of pills were that?” One of them, Tina, urgently asked. “She won't die without them right?”
“I… I don't know.” The second one, Charlie, replied with worry on her face.
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“Stop making it seem so tragic. It's just some pills. New ones can be bought easily.” Sarrah quickly commented. “Also. Remember the Geek?” The blond bully posited and her two henchwomen nodded. “Whatever the Freek’s problem is, it wasn't major enough to be life-threatening. Otherwise, the whole school would have known about it already just like with the Geek. Anyway… We got the message across. Let's go.”
“O… Ok.” The two girls answered and followed their leader out of the female toilet.
Still, their faces had that regretful expression, although they tried their best to hide them.
Meanwhile, back inside, Hannah simply stared at the toilet that had doomed her for an entire week and a half before the next batch of pills reached her hands. After all, while it was true that she, or her mother, in this case, could go to the drug store and get new ones, they would cost money.
A lot of money.
Money, her mother struggled to earn already.
No… There was no way Hannah, even emotionless as she was right in this moment, could allow herself to be that heartless.
No… Her mother was already doing everything she could to provide for her, even to the point of selling her body.
No… If there was one thing the drugs were good for, aside from inhibiting her emotions to a large degree, it was that they had allowed Hannah an understanding of the world of pure logic, or at least something resembling it. And that logic had told her of what kind of sacrifice her mother made on a daily basis just for her to grow up, much less the undeniable need for all the drugs that made her resemble a robot more than a human being.
No… Even Hannah was not that cruel.
No… All she had to do was endure for a week and a half. It was doable.
No… It would be doable.
All Hannah had to do was act as if everything was peachy, as it was with the pills, at least in front of her mother.
Yes… She could do it.
Yes… She could endure and pretend everything was fine.
Yes… She could do it.
It was just ten days.
Just ten days.
Ten
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That day, Hannah had gone home and behaved as usual as she did, by acting as if nothing had happened and nothing had perturbed her mind.
The next day and the one after that, business was as usual, home to school, school to home.
Long used to treating her as if she did not exist, her classmates made no trouble for her. The exception to the rule, Sarrah, the prima-donna of the freshman year, also kept away from her for the time being, and when she did, so did her two henchwomen.
As such, through the normality of the day, the absence of bullying, and the somewhat longer timeframe for her body to detox from the drugs, Hannah managed to build up a small amount of confidence to emulate her usual robot-like state of mind.
Then as if it was meant to happen, like the second hand of a clock returning to its appointed time, on the fifth day, just as Hannah was about to leave the school building, she noticed her three bullies.
Like a deer staring into the headlights of an oncoming car, Hannah’s eyes opened wide as she froze on the spot. Images flashed through her mind. Images that she had tried to forget, or at best ignore, yet now, in this very moment, returned with crystal clear clarity.
A few moments passed.
Hannah blankly stared at Sarrah’s blond hair, blue eyes, and pretty face.
Sarrah returned the same stare, yet it was clear hers contained a lot of attitude. An attitude that formulated its own superiority by disregarding that of others like with Hannah’s behavior, and when it did, Sarrah almost instantly lost all interest in this girl she had conquered.
Instead, the blond bully just grunted briefly with pleasure and bid her two henchwomen to follow her.
There was no bullying on this day, but maybe it would have been better if there had been.
Then at least, the pain would have told Hannah’s mind of the difference between a past memory and a present memory reliving a past memory. Hence, without the drugs inhibiting her bodily responses to some degree, a small chink in Hannah’s armor of confidence manifested.
Thus, when it did, like a dam that could not contain its overflowing waters, Hannah’s body without the drugs urgently generated larger doses of Fear based chemicals to deal with the stress the memories produced.
When those chemicals and that Fear appeared, a response, a sensation, a phenomenon, only Hannah could sense and feel, arose within her body.
It was as if her body and mind recognized a predator's presence nearby, yet could not understand where it was coming from or how it was observing them. Wherever it may have presided, it did not matter to Hannah the hair all over her body perked up as if electrified. Her spine produced a shivering response traveling up and down her body, and it only grew stronger the more Fear her body generated.
That was when Hannah’s resolve, manifested just a few days ago, finally revealed its presence to remind her of the promise she had made to herself.
A promise, if not for her own sake, then for the sake of her mother who had sacrificed so much already for her because doing otherwise would only besmirch said sacrifice, and that was the only thing Hannah’s mind refused to allow.
That was also the main reason why Hannah only ever thought but never went through her own un-aliving process.
Reminded of it, Hannah quickly recalled the countermeasures she reasoned off just for such a scenario.
In the same instant, she hit her lower lip to let the pain distract her mind and body. Once that was accomplished, and the pain flourished, she began chanting words inside her head.
I am… I am fine… There is nothing wrong with me… There is nothing wrong…
Desperately clutching onto those words, part of Hannah’s mind refocused itself from the Fear and pain.
When it did, so did her body.
Only it was clear to Hannah, even without being conscious of it, that the upcoming days would not be as easy as the first five days had made it out to be. After all, now the monster, her doctors told her was just a hallucination, had truly been woken and been alerted of Hannah’s changing circumstances.
It had happened before when the times were tough for her mother. Hence, with no pills to inhibit her emotions, the monster was free to torture and feast upon Hannah’s Fear every night.
Tossing aside the flashing memories, as best as she could, Hannah continued chanting till she truly calmed down somewhat.
Then, she took her first steps back home.
Just as expected, that very same night, the monster appeared to Hannah.
Long ago, Hannah had realized that she was lucid every night she fell asleep.
Long ago, Hannah had understood that she was bound to visit her old bedroom every night without fail.
Long ago, Hannah had gotten used to just laying there on that old bed without the ability to do anything because of the drugs coursing through her systems, yet now, just a few days after she had taken the last of them, Hannah already noted their effect wearing off of her.
How did Hannah know that exactly? She did not know. All she knew was that the paralyzing effect was slowly coming to an end. And although it would take a few more days for it to completely do so, Hannah already knew what awaited her.
Not only because she had experienced it before, but also because she was told about it by the large tentacular monster hanging and occupying most of her bedroom ceiling.
The monster was in the shape of an octopus, only it was clearly not one despite the tentacles arrayed around its bulbous main body upon which a large white dot existed.
Although the white dot remained right in the center of the bulbous main body, Hannah had seen it flow around the main body as if its main body was more watery in composition than simple flesh.
Either way, Hannah was certain that the white dot was an eye because its gaze contained a definitive but cold intelligence.
Had it not been for the drugs paralyzing her, and thus making her unresponsive to the monster's machinations, there was no doubt that it would have descended from the ceiling to cradle her within its many tentacles before slowly but surely exposing Hannah to its monstrous desires to torture and feast
Being unbothered by the monster's unerring stare would be a mild statement at the best of times, when she was drugged to hell and back, but knowing that very soon that wouldn't be the case, a small brief spike of Fear rose to Hannah’s attention.
When it did, a sudden twitch of her right arm manifested, and with its manifestation, the white dot on the monster's bulbous body twitched in response just that tiny bit as its gaze shifted to said arm.
In the very same instance, a confirmation reached both Hannah and the monster, only one, however, was happy about it.
The chorting and chirping sounds were the best indicator of that happiness.
Nevertheless, for Hannah, the worst thing about the sounds was that she understood them, and the inherent promise contained within the chorting and chirping sounds.
The promise was that, at last, the monster could take the last needed step to feast on her Soul.
“You look somewhat pale there? Are you having nightmares again?” Hannah heard her worried mother voice out.
“No.” Hannah lied instantly, with as much of a neutral facial expression, and a blank vocal tone, as she could. “Just stayed up a bit longer than I should have been playing on my GameBoy.”
“Alright.” Hannah’s mother, Hailey, responded. “Try not playing for too long on it. You know it's not good for the eyes. Alright?”
“Yes, Mom!” Hanah replied with a monotonous voice. “Speaking of nightmares. In four days, the last batch of the pills will be gone.”
“Already?” The mother whispered, all while trying her best to hide her pain and sorrow.
Having lived with just her mother for the last seven years, Hannah easily read her mother's facial expressions. Almost instantly, she felt something trying to rise from within her, because it was evident that something bad had occurred.
“Listen, Honey…” Hearing it, it was as if Hannah’s face got a shade whiter instantly, yet she did not interrupt her mother. “There was some trouble at work. A customer refused to pay. So the payment may come somewhat later. Not too much, a week at most. Ok…” Hailey voiced out, but even she knew that her words lacked any surety or guarantee. “Once the payment is done, I'll visit the drug store for your pills. Ok…”
Nodding somewhat absently, Hannah replied. “I... It's fine, mom. You know it takes a while for my body to flush out the drugs anyway. I… I will be fine.”
“I know you will.” Hailey declared with pride, though a somewhat distant one.
Leaving the kitchen counter where she was making breakfast, Hailey closed in on Hannah to hug her before setting aside the long brown bangs of hair slightly covering her daughter’s brown eyes and giving her daughter a kiss on the forehead.
“You're a strong girl, just like me.” After nodding and rubbing Hannah’s back a few more times, Hailey returned to breakfast making.
In the same instant, her mother’s back faced her, Hannah bit her lower lip very hard before promising that she would endure.
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As if in a trance, Hannah breezed through the sixth day.
On the sixth night, on the other hand, Hannah endured more hungry stares while she tried her best to wiggle her body. There was success, but it would not have been such an expedited process had the monster not been encouraging her to do just that.
In a way, the arrogance of the monster made the inexperienced Hannah fight just that tiny bit more to regain her autonomy as a human being.
On the seventh day, there was little that could take Hannah’s mind off of her very recent nightly routine, namely in the fact that she was trying her best to fight back against the monster, or at the very least avoid it by herself and not medication.
However, what truly set this encounter different from anything before was that the monster refused to do anything to her. Instead, it just remained on the ceiling and chirped its delightful encouraging mood at her.
As such, on the seventh day, much of Hannah’s mind was preoccupied with imagining the possibilities of her demise and her possible escape from the clutches of the tentacular monster.
In the end, all her solutions amounted to getting away from the monster while it gave her the chance, hence on the seventh night Hannah found her courage and managed to crawl off of her bed. Then to the door leading outside her old bedroom, which just could not seem to vanish into history as it followed her even after her mother had them move away to a different city in fear that their old residence became haunted.
After the bedroom door, Hannah crawled into the hallway which presented her with a few options, unlike their new place which barely had enough room for two people.
Either way, in truth, there was little to explore for Hannah.
Still, it was the effort that made her feel like she was doing something because anything was better than constantly staring at a monstrosity hanging above her. Only, as if her thoughts summoned it, her ears made her turn her head before gazing at the tentacular monstrosity crawling through the bedroom door, only it still treated the ceiling as its floor.
As if only now noticing her gaze, the monster once again began chirping its encouragement song.
Deciding to ignore it for the moment since it was clear, she was safe from it for the moment, Hannah spent all of her efforts crawling through her old home.
The home before her father died and everything fell apart when the very same father left her mother with a monstrous debt to repay while taking care of a child who could not seem to sleep without nightmares, could not live without drugs keeping her sane, could not…
Ceasing all movements, Hannah stared at the end of the hallway after a particular bend to the right.
Specifically, she stared at the door found at the end.
A door that had belonged to her father.
A father she would have no doubt learned to hate had it not been for the drugs and her mother's insistent reminder that he was a good man.
Now, she simply ignored his memories, as if they never existed.
Yet, that same father had loved her to death before his actual death, and despite having thought of doing so a million times, Hannah never threw away the last birthday present he gave her.
A present she still used to this very day in the form of a GameBoy, alongside a few games that after seven years of playing she had mastered entirely.
Her only form of true entertainment aside, Hannah refused to move one inch closer to the door leading to her father's workshop.
Not only because of the unknown that it represented, as Hannah had, in fact, never, ever set foot inside it before, but also because, for some reason, it glowed to her brown eyes.
It wasn't a weird color or anything like that. Just a simple natural brown, like most doors possessed. However, when compared to the silver sheen that infused and cloaked everything in her old home, it was clear Hannah was looking at an anomaly, hence she dared not reach closer to it.
It took a few moments for Hannah to come out of her stupor.
At that same moment, she unconsciously glanced back and up to take note of the monster in the house. Only after it was confirmed that the monster still refused to jump and torture her with its presence, did Hannah finally take a better and more detailed examination of the door, the hallway, and herself.
That was when she noticed her own colors resisting the coating of the silver reaching for her. In fact, when she examined the details, everything her body touched to some degree had regained its own shine, hence when gazing behind her, Hannah saw a trail as if she were a snail leaving its slime upon her wake.
However, the more distant the trail was, from her current position, the more it thinned out of existence.
Thus, considering everything, her own current state, her surroundings, and the monster in question, Hannah applied some logic to her problem. When she did, grunting with effort she used the hallway wall as a makeshift helper to help her stand on two wobbly legs.
With every step that she took, the paralyzing sensations on her body seemed to weaken just a tad faster.
Whether it was her imagination or not, Hannah walked slowly, like a grandma on the brink of death, and reached the glowing door leading to her father’s workshop/office.
Unfortunately, it was as if it was not meant to be.
Click Click Click
“L… L… Locked?” Hannah whispered to herself in realization. Only this enlightenment stemmed from a distant memory, a memory of when she was but a little girl trying yet failing at the very same problem she did now. Luckily, the flashing memory told her of the solution.
“K… Key… I… I need the key.”
“Where is the key?”