“Match set!” the referee announced, “Furukawa Saki from Setagaya Gakuen won!”

I’m exhausted, my knees are almost gone, my arms are getting weak. I can’t aim where I want the ball to go. My throat’s parched. My whole body is shaking from exhaustion.

This isn’t working out.

I returned to my team after my match.

Coach Koji was staring at me.

“I’m sorry coach. I have no excuses.” I said whilst preparing myself to get scolded at.

He took out a big sigh, “Just sit down, it’s not like the end of the world if you lose one match.” I was surprised at first, because I thought that he would lash out about ‘improvement’ and stuff.

I sat on the bench where some of my teammates are.

“Coach Koji is right, Murakami-san. We all have our bad days.” Tokino-kun who was sitting beside me said.

Today isn’t just a ‘bad day’.

My loss today not only affects me, but it also affects the whole school. Us players aren’t chosen casually by the coach and the principal so we can play a game of tennis, we’re playing because the school expects us to win. My loss at the preliminaries, it’s humiliating not only to me, but to the school as well. Also, this school is owned by Hiro’s dad.

A lot of my teammates were comforting me, telling me that “You’ll get another chance” or “You did your best”. None of them are really helping though. I do appreciate the concern.

Ai-chan was next after my match.

I already knew she’s going to win, so I didn’t bother watching.

I went outside from the stadium to get some fresh air. My chest still feels tight. I thought that I could get off some steam with a game of tennis, but it made the feeling even worst. I feel so sorry for myself. Even though I’ve done my hardest to balance my home and school life, it still lead to failure.

No, I failed because I wasn’t trying hard enough. I didn’t had the courage to talk things out with my dad and what he is feeling. I just assumed that if I continue being the ‘good’ child somehow everything would fall into place. I also didn’t bother about my Ren’s feelings; he didn’t felt at home. That’s why he made his own.

No use in thinking about it.

I went to the convenience store. An ice cream is what I need right now.

A few minutes of walking, I arrived at a store. I bought a melon flavored popsicle and ate it outside the store after I bought it.

Mom used to buy me and Ren ice cream whenever we went shopping for groceries.

………...

I looked both of my hands individually, comparing it to my hands when I was a little kid. The size of my hands back then are half the size of my hands now. It’s so different.

“Why do you always look at that flower?”

Hiro’s voice suddenly appeared inside my head.

A flower, huh? I totally pushed him away when he offered me help. I really am a selfish person like he said.

Why can’t life be easier? Why do we have to endure living in this world when the older you get the shittier life can be? Why do we always cause misunderstandings between our closest friends or families? Why do we always say the wrong things?

“Hana.” I heard Hiro’s voice again called out to me, but this time he’s actually there.

His eyebrows were frowning, and his eyes saddened. But there was a hint of smile on his lips.

The only word that came out of my mouth was, “Hey.”

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He looks from left to right while he walks towards me, “I saw your match.” he gestures his hand pointing where the stadium is.

“Oh, guess you saw that.” my pathetic side.

“Yeah, you were pretty pathetic back there.” he chuckles.

I accidentally chuckle too, “You’re so mean.”

He giggles, “sorry.”

Silence.

A bit of my popsicle melted, touching my fingers. I wiped my hands before I finish eating it.

I offered to buy him some, but he politely refused.

I finished eating and threw away the stick in a bin.

Going back to the stadium was my first line of thought, but I needed to talk to Hiro. So, I waited.

How do I talk to him? How do I clear up the conflict between us?

“Hey, umm.” Hiro broke the silence between us, “What do you see me as?”

I was baffled by his unusual deep question……no, it’s actually not a deep question. It’s a simple question but with a complex answer.

Hiro isn’t just a typical best friend, he’s a lot of things. He was my first friend. He is my first love. He is my supporter. He is like a family. He’s someone I look up to. He’s an inspiration. Hiro Takeda means a lot for me.

But before I could answer, he answered his question first, “Because for me, I see you as someone very important to my life……. You’re my idol. The ideal person that I want to be. A strong-willed person that can battle any trials that may come their way. When I first saw your family, your house and the loss that you’ve endured, I thought to myself, ‘how is she still this bright?’ ‘how can she still smile like that when the place she calls home is a mess.’ If I was in your shoes, I would’ve given up.” he interrupts himself, “Sorry, I’m getting a little off topic here. The answer to my question is that you’re someone important to me. And I don’t want to see the people important to me getting hurt. If I see them hurting, I feel like I’m getting hurt too. When I saw you holding back your tears, it made me want to cry for your sake. It just hurts……... so tell me Hana, what kind of person do you see me as?”

I’ve heard that word before, “important”.

Back when I first heard it, he was talking to Hinata Yoshikawa. I felt so happy that he saw me as an important person to him. But now, what I’m feeling is……. relief.

I started crying again.

I’m glad that someone cares about me. Someone was crying for me. Someone was looking after me. Someone saw my efforts.

I’m not alone.

Hiro took me into his arms while I cried in relief.

“I told you, remember? If you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m always here.”

“I’m sorry, Hiro.”

His arms were so big and soft while he comforts me. I put some of my weight onto him.

A couple of minutes passed by, I recovered.

Even though I’m done, he still wouldn’t let go of me.

“I’m sorry, but can we stay like this for a little longer?” he asked as he tighten his grip a little.

“……sure.” my heart was beating loudly as he said that.

A couple of people passed by. Even though I can’t see them because my face is on Hiro’s chest, their gaze made me attempt to push Hiro away in embarrassment. Yet, Hiro still kept his arms.

We looked like a couple right now.

A little part of me was happy that we look like a couple. But this is Hiro. He always does something extra ordinary. Hugging someone is probably the thing he does to comfort people. So, I didn’t ponder about it too much.

“We probably looked like a lovers to them, huh.” he jokingly said to me.

I giggled, “I was thinking about the same thing…… but I don’t mind.”

“……… you don’t mind if we looked like a couple?” he asked.

“Yup, I wouldn’t mind it.”

His chest shivered a bit and his heart started to beat louder and faster.

“Then, can you be my girlfriend from now on?” he asked.

Huh?

I raised my head to see what kind of face he has right now.

As I made eye contact to him, his gaze kept avoiding my eyes but would always come back to me.

“Y—yes.” I answered in the heat of the moment, “Ah, wait! Since when?!” I took back my answer and asked.

He giggled, “For a long, long time. I’ve always liked you. Did you know why I approached you back then?”

“Since that long?”

“Yeah, you were so hard to get.” he teasingly said, “So? Are we officially a couple now?”

My head is floating.

I put my head onto his chest again and answered loud enough that only he could hear me, “Yes. I’ll be happy to.”

Rubbing my forehead to him made the floating feeling I have to get intense.

Even though today we had started on the wrong foot, by the end we made it work.

Today was one of my happiest moments.