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Spinning The Wheels
Episode #2 - Welcome to the Jungle

Episode #2 - Welcome to the Jungle

Episode 2# - Welcome to the Jungle.

What is all this racket,  thought Eric as he was rudely woken up by one of the hunters the following morning. He immediately noticed that the camp had been broken up already. The hunters were ready to leave, dragging their spoils behind them on improvised sleds made of palm leaves.

“We are leaving,”  said Lajos.

“We are not going by boat?”  asked Eric.

“If we could afford boats, we wouldn’t be here,”  said Pogar as he laughed, “Why don’t you tell your friend where we are going.”

“The jungle?”  asked Eric.

“The jungle,”  answered Lajos.

I am so screwed, thought Eric as he remembered his one and only encounter with nature. A disastrous camping trip in his childhood where he had unwittingly poisoned four people, including the guide.  

The first few hours of the trek were uneventful. Occasionally the trio of hunters mentioned things that Eric should look out for, things such as edible fruits, poisonous plants or animal tracks. Most of it went in the one ear and out from the other, but some of the information about plants stuck to Eric’s surprise.

After half a day of walking, the hunters stopped in their tracks. Eric didn’t know what they had seen, but it was obvious that they saw something which worried them greatly. “What’s wrong Lajos?”

“Egg sac.”

“Egg sac? Why is that such a big concern?”  asked Eric.

“Since you really don’t want to meet the mother,”  said Lajos as he pointed at an egg sac which was at least six feet across and housed at least a few thousand orange sized spider eggs.

“Holy shit,”  said Eric, “Are those spiders?”

“Only if they hatch,”  said Lajos.

Lajos and Pogar started pouring alcohol onto the egg sac. The chubby hunter, lit a torch. It didn’t take long for the whole thing to catch fire. Thick, black smoke rose up, finding its way through the green ceiling above.

“Won’t the mother notice and come back?”  asked Eric.

“Unlikely. They were left to fend for themselves,”  said Lajos.

“That’s harsh.”

“That’s the jungle for you,”  said Pogar while laughing.

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Two days later the group arrived at a small stream, where they stopped to refill their water supply. The hunters were in high spirits since they had not encountered any danger beside the long forgotten egg sac.

While the hunters were filling their water bottles, Eric squatted behind some foliage to answer nature’s call. Once he finished, he quickly grabbed some leaves and started wiping. He felt something waxy and slimy, whatever he just used to clean his ass, it sure as hell wasn’t a leaf.

“That’s disgusting,”  said Eric when he spotted a small frog, leaping away. Before the incident, the frog was bright green, but now it was mostly brown.

“Hurry up traveler, plenty of time to rest once you’re dead,”  said Pogar.

Why do I want to taste him,  thought Eric as he looked at Pogar through the bush.

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That was one fucked up dream, thought Eric as he woke up. I would never do such a thing. 

When his eyes opened, Eric realized something was amiss. Why is everything so green, why is everything upside down? 

He tried moving his arms, but discovered he was unable to do so. He pushed his chin towards his chest, hoping to discover what bound him. What he saw terrified him, he was stuck in a cocoon, hanging high up in the trees. He immediately remembered the egg sac they had burned a few days ago. I don’t want to be sucked dry by a giant spider!

[You have gained 3 followers. You currently have 15 followers]

Huh? When did I gain followers, thought Eric, obviously surprised by the notification.

“It seems my little chef is finally awake,”  said a female who’s voice was smoother than honey.

“Whoever is there, please get me out of here,”  said Eric.

“I am afraid, I can’t do that yet,”  said the voice.

“Why not?”  Eric asked desperately.

The laugh that followed was contagious, and sounded more like an evil cackle than an expression of amusement. When the laughter stopped and the owner of the voice showed herself Eric realized his stupidity. The young woman in front of him would have been every pubescent boy’s wet dream if she wasn’t hanging by a silk thread coming from her spinnerets.

“Since I put you in there,”  the half-woman, half-spider said.

“Are you going to eat me?”  Eric asked, gulping.

“That would be a waste,”  she said.

A waste? What is this thing talking about, Eric thought to himself as he asked, “What do you mean?”

“I have never met a like-minded chef before,”  she said.

“My Frittata is pretty amazing, but I never prepared anything in this world,”  Eric said without thinking. Why the hell did I say that? If she says that I am a chef then I am.  

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,”  the arachne said as she lowered Eric towards the jungle floor below.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

Eric started to salivate, the multitude of aromas lingering in the air were simply amazing.

Steak, gorgeously rosy pink from the edge all the way to the center with a deep, mahogany crust and a hint of char. Because of its slow cooking, what normally would be a tender steak on its own was now almost buttery-smooth, with the sweet aroma of smoke deeply infused into its surface. If only the fat hunter hadn’t provide the cut, it would have been sublime.

Lajos and Pogar had been turned into equally splendid dishes, creating an extraordinary feast for anyone who enjoyed the taste of human flesh.

Eric knew deep down that he was the one who had slaughtered the hunting party, but this wasn’t what was currently freaking him out. When he looked at Lojas, he realized that he had forgotten to add the mango sauce.

[Your skill in Cannibalistic Cooking has increased. Extra recipes have been added to Eric Gast’s Guilt Free Cookbook, Volume I]

When the message popped into his mind Eric was disgusted. What is this world doing to me? I never wanted to kill those men, I never wanted to eat them.

When Lydia saw Eric’s expression she instinctively knew that he had never consciously intended to prepare this scrumptious feast. This knowledge didn’t stop her from enjoying the now cold leftovers.

The way she ate surprised Eric. He had expected that her delicate features would transform into a nightmarish monstrosity capable of eating everything in a few bites, but he had not expected her to bring out a knife, fork and napkin, following fine dining etiquette as much as was possible in the middle of the jungle. The way she finished all his dishes was almost elegant. There is something terribly wrong with me.

Once Lydia finished her meal she turned to face Eric.

“I won’t eat you,”  she said, obviously thinking, yet.

“What’s the catch?”  asked Eric, realizing that only giant spiders or equally dangerous monsters enjoyed the luxury of a free lunch in the jungle.

“You’ll have to continuously satisfy me,”  she said as she covered his face with spider silk.

With most of his senses locked Eric had no idea where the arachne was taking him. He attempted to count the hours, but after a few had passed, he lost track of time as well. He couldn’t even distinguish between day and night anymore.

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Eventually Lydia removed Eric from his cocoon.

His expectations were betrayed when he wasn’t released inside a dark dungeon or cave, but instead on the porch of what looked like a regular wooden house. The dimensions of the house were considerably larger than those of a human house, but that was to be expected considering Lydia’s proportions.

The location was equally unexpected. They were in the middle of a lake. Is it build on stilts?

Lydia used one of her spider legs to push Eric through the open front door. He would have to ask his questions about the external structure of the house another time. The interior design of the house was pragmatic. There was a combined living room and kitchen and one more room which Eric guessed to be a bedroom.

“Take those rags off.”

Eric looked at the leftovers of his burlap sack which were covered in what he hoped to be dried up blood and had to agree that what remained of his outfit would be impressively pathetic even by a hobo’s standards. He obeyed her command, leaving him naked.

The arachne picked up the piece of clothing with a grimace. It reminded Eric of the face his old neighbor made whenever he had to pick up his dog’s shit. At least she doesn’t have to carry a bag of hot poop around. The thought of Lydia carrying around a bag of dog do instead of his rags brought a smile to his face.

Lydia quickly threw the burlap sack into the lake behind her. After finishing this disgusting, but necessary task she shut the door behind her.

When the arachne pushed him towards what he assumed to be the bedchamber Eric objected, “What are you planning?”

“I already told you before,”  she said with a smirk.

Inside the bedroom, there was no bed. There were no spider webs in any of the other rooms, but here the walls, the roof and even the floor was covered with a thick web.

Lydia effortlessly threw Eric backwards against the wall. Even if he tried to run, it would be pointless. The sticky web allowed very little movement.

She can’t mean that, right? No, this has to be a joke. I can’t lose my virginity to a bloody spider.

Eric’s protests fell on deaf ears. Lydia came closer and closer to his naked body, placing both her human hands on top of his chest, digging her fingers into the little chest hair that he possessed.

“Mhm-hmm. Athletic, but no strength to speak off. Hopefully your stamina is less disappointing.”

[You have gained 2 followers. You currently have 17 followers]

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Several hours later, the durability of Eric’s weapon reached zero, Lydia stopped her assault. Her flushed skin did not immediately return to its usual porcelain complexion.

“I expected to bite you out of habit after the grand finale.”

Eric had not forgotten that he had gotten awfully close to becoming just another skeleton in Lydia’s closet. Her poisonous fangs had been hard to ignore when they were scraping against his neck during coitus.

“Why didn’t you?”

“You’re just lucky,”  Lydia said, smiling sweetly.

Eric couldn’t resist laughing at the remark.

Murder, check. Cannibalism, check. Reverse rape, check. Sharks, spiders, check. Stuck in the middle of fuck knows where, check. Yes… I am quite lucky.

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