I found myself in a sterile white room, extending further than I could see in all directions. There were no noticeable light sources but it was almost too bright.

"Fuck, did I die?" Even to my own ears, my voice sounded panicked.

Shit, who was going to take care of Ruger, my German Wolfhound buddy? He had just turned 2 last month. He was going to be so upset. I could already see him stressing out.

Maybe my parents could take him in. He was well behaved, and had just finished an obedience course. So they should have no problem handling him.

"No, you actually didn't die. Stop wasting time with useless worrying." A cheerless voice intoned.

I spun around, I was sure there hadn't been anyone or anything there before.

"What the...Who are you?" Perhaps not the best approach in an unknown situation, but what else was I going to ask.

A faceless, something, sat at a simple black desk, with nothing on it. A glowing human shaped being in a dull gray business suit, the lack of a face didn't stop me from feeling stared at.

"Please sit, Mr. Crestwood. While I have more time than you could possibly conceive, you are on something of a clock." The thing gesture at a chair, that wasn't there before it suggested sitting.

Yeah, this was all kinds of screwed up. Yet, somehow I didn't feel like I had a choice. So, yeah, I sat, while poking at my own skull to see if it had gone soft. I didn't think I was insane, or hallucinating, but how would I know?

"Please review the Offer Packet." Again it gestured at a piece of white paper that just appeared out of nowhere. The paper read: The undersigned will gain access to the SMC Store of Powers and Items, in exchange for employment.

"Employment to do what? What kind of powers? Who are you people?" I was bordering on pissed off while still being half frightened out of my gourd.

I kept asking for several minutes, and the only response I got back was, "Please Sign." It refused to answer what it meant that I didn't die. It just sat there.

In a surge of furious emotion I started ranting and yelling. No reaction. Despite that, once I had gotten started, it took a while to wind down. I felt a little better though.

To tell the truth, I had no idea what to make of all this. I stared into the distance, risking blindness from the glare. My inner hamster wheel was churning, but neither of us saw another way out of this.

Eventually, it sank in, nothing would change until I signed. But I still didn't want to comply, I hated being forced into this. Whatever this was.

I had thought a few times about attacking the Desk Thing, but each time some primal survival instinct screamed that would be the last thing I ever did.

I tired hitting myself a few times. No reaction, and no change in the situation other than a sore hand. When I walked far enough away from the desk, it just appeared in front of me again. I tried running, same deal. When exhaustion set in, I went to sleep, sort of. However, long my fitful nap lasted, nothing had changed.

"FUCK!"

My mind was having a really hard time accepting this. Part of me thought I had died, whatever the Thing had said, and this was my afterlife. What had I done to possibly deserve this?

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

I sighed as a sense of fatalism set in. I didn't see anything else to do, I signed the paper.

"Please step through the door." The Desk Thing pointed to a green door that appeared behind me. Fine. Anything was better than this place. I opened the door and stepped through.

The same type of room but in green. Another desk this time silver colored. Another Desk Thing this time wearing a black suit.

Seems I was wrong.

"What now?!" I yelled in frustration. I had thought I would be done with this. I wanted out of this place.

"Please attach the Bonding Branch to your left wrist." It waved at a short and odd looking branch, with soft looking silver gray bark and nine purple leaves, jutting off of three smaller branchings.

"How do I do that?" Not actually expecting an answer. Why should they start now?

"Just place it near your skin, on your left wrist, it will take care of the rest." I gritted my teeth, but complied, certain I'd get trapped in the same fucking loop as last time if I didn't. The branch wrapped around my arm of it's own accord. Thousands of tiny green fibers burrowed into my skin, each intrusion was accompanied by pulsing waves of something I didn't have the words for yet. I felt deeply distrubed.

"What the hell?" I tried shaking it off my arm. Way too late for that. I only slightly calmed down when I realized it didn't hurt, in fact it felt almost soothing.

Several lines of golden letters, (Runes? Hieroglyphs?) appeared in my mind. They kept altering until finally...

[ Welcome to the Great Tree System ]

[ Please Think 'System' to complete the bonding process ]

Alright? 'System.'

[ Name: Ryan Crestwood

Class: N/A

Race: Human (Terra 213,451)

Body: 5 / Reflex: 4 / Tech: 5 / Intelligence: 3 / Cool: 3 / Will: 4 / Spirit: 6 (+2 Modifier)

Company Points: 1000 / Tree Points: 0 ]

[ Please note discrepancies may have occurred. System will be adjusted as User adapts to their new paradigm ]

"What the fuck is this? A Game, I don't play games. Why would you pick me for this?" I'm sure my face was burning red from anger. Was this some simulation? I'd heard they were working on things like this. But this was way too real.

"Please step through the door." This Desk Thing pointing behind me. This time the door was red.

"Fuck." I muttered. Some more twisted part of my mind noted I was saying that word too much, perhaps I should expand my vocabulary.

Sure enough, a red room of the same type. This time the desk was gold. This Desk Thing was wearing a green suit.

"What is going on, this time?" I was getting desperate to escape. The corners of my eyes kept twitching, a stress reaction, that I found terribly unpleasant.

"Please select your starting package." It gestured toward two boxes on its desk, one was orange, one was blue. Other than the color, there was no discernable difference, that I could detect. I picked the blue one. It vanished.

"Please step through the door." I almost told it to shove it, but I lacked the energy.

Have you ever cried because you were that pissed off, or that emotionally drained? I was, and I felt no shame in it. I just wanted this to end.

The door was silver this time, and so was the next room. The desk was green, and the Desk Thing had a Red Suit. What do all of the colors even mean?

"Just tell me what is going on!?" I wasn't doing so well, a well of nausea was building inside. My vision was starting to blur. My breathing was labored. Something was very wrong.

"Please pick your Companion." Two Statues were on the desk. One a golden wolf. One a copper tree man? I picked the Golden Wolf. The statue vanished.

"Please Step through the Door."

A golden door followed by a golden room this time. The silver desk had a blue suited Desk Thing.

"Please no more..." I was muttering. I'm fairly sure I was losing my mind, as well as my health.

"Please Select your starting Factions. Roll the Wheels."

That was different. Two gray Hexagonal Boxes on stands with crank handles. I tried spinning one. After it stopped, a ball fell out from a spout I hadn't noticed before. The ball was blue with a golden W. The W had purple markings on it. It vanished.

I spun the other box. The ball this time was blue with a silver S. The S had blue markings on it. It vanished.

"Please wait while we set up your starting point."

I sat in the chair it pointed at. Too drained to care, I barely had any sense of self left.

I thought 'System'. Thinking that maybe I could get some answers there, but nothing had changed. I sat staring at that screen trying to understand it by sheer force of will. All in vain, I was too unfamiliar with the base logic of games.

I zoned out. My mind drifted seeking something it might understand.

"Please Step through the Door." The door was just made of white light.

I hurriedly stepped through, hoping this was over.