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Sol
Bonus Chapter: Cadfael

Bonus Chapter: Cadfael

I had been pacing the floor of my study for the umpteenth time since Sol disappeared with her prisoner. Why did she leave me? What could have possible driven her to abandon the hold? To abandon me?

Was this my lot in life, to lose the women I loved to other men. Was I not good enough?

My arm ached, reminding me of my father. If he were still alive he probably would have kept Sol’s Grace to ensure something like this never happened, but I was not my father. I I had thought we had reached an understanding. I had thought I could trust her, but I was a fool.

Weeks had gone by and no one had seen her or heard from her. She was gone, and I needed to accept that. So why didn’t I?

I looked to the corner of my study where my latest canvas sat. On it was the rough sketch of Sol sleeping on a bed of pillows. She didn’t know I had done that while she lay recovering in my bed from her illness.

I went to the canvas and traced the roundness of her cheek, but it wasn’t the same. Must everything slip through my fingers? I tore the canvas apart with my hands and threw the pieces in the corner of my study, nearly hitting Cia as she entered softly.

I immediately resumed my act of a cold distant lord. No one would breach the walls around my heart again. Sol would be the last.

Cia set down the tray she was carrying onto my desk. On it were a pitcher of water, two cups, and some sliced fruits. The whole thing looked unappetizing while my heart continued to rage with emotions. I was angry, I was sad, I was lonely. Food had become tasteless, music was offkey and the colors that I used to see in the world had faded to muted grays and blues.

The last time I had felt this disturbed was after Ai had lost our third baby. I remembered the blood and her screaming at me. I remembered the nightmares I had where the rooms filled with blood and drowned and crushed me.

The nightmares had continued for years until I had slept next to Sol during her fever. She became a shining light in my darkness and exposed the colors and joy of life, and now it was gone. Just when I thought I had her she had fled.

I turned my back on the desk and Cia then stiffened when I felt her put her arms around me. “Lord Cadfael, you’ve been cooped up in your study since Sol abandoned you. I’m worried for your health,” she said as she pressed against me. I grabbed her wrists and unwrapped her arms from my waist before turning to face her.

“Leave me, Cia,” I said sternly. She pouted at me and grabbed my robes.

“You’ve wanted my company before, why should it be any different now?”

My angered flared. “It’s different because I don’t love you!”

Her eyes darkened in anger for a moment before she cupped my cheeks and planted a kiss on my lips. “They never loved you, but I do,” she whispered against my closed mouth. “I will never run away.”

I pushed her away, my stomach turning.

“Leave. NOW!”

“No! I love you! Stop pushing me aside to be with these women that don’t want anything to do with you!” Tears began to run down her cheeks, but my heart didn’t stir for her sadness.  I wondered if I had lost my ability to sympathize. Syr was right. I was broken and crazy. Here was someone begging to be with me, but I only wanted the one that had run away.

I clenched my jaw and glared at her. “You’re overstepping your boundaries. Sargo!” I yelled.

Immediately my guard came rushing into the room and looked between the two of us. I could sense the tension rolling off of him as I pointed to the woman in front of me. “Escort Cia to one of the holding cells for disobedience. She’s to stay there for two days.”

Cia’s eyes widened in shock. Her lips began to tremble as tears rolled off her chin.

“Yes, my Lord,” Sargo said bowing. He grabbed Cia’s arm and began to lead her to the door.

“Lord Cadfael! You’re making a mistake!”

You were my mistake, I thought to myself as the door closed behind them. I ran my hands through my hair dislodging the pearls that had been woven into it. How many more mistakes was I destined to make?

There was a soft knock on my door. I opened it to find Bran standing there. “My Lord, may I talk to you. I think it may be urgent,” he said.

I waved him inside and shut the door behind him. Was I not to have any peace today?

“Go ahead, Bran.”

He bowed. “Lord, there’s a Landwalker in our waters. He’s been floating there for the past two hours shouting out your name.”

A Landwalker knew my name? It was possible for the Landwalkers to know it since Waterfolk went missing every year. What was unusual was that he was shouting for me. I didn’t have time to worry about his foolishness.

“Tell the patrols to keep an eye on him. Find out if he’s alone or planning an ambush. I don’t have the patience to deal with him.”

“Yes, my Lord.”

The following day Bran brought me word that the Landwalker was still in our waters. I grew mildly irritated. This man seemed insistent on seeing me. I decided to wait one more day before taking any sort of action. My subjects were advised to steer clear of the area that he was in.

On the morning of the third day, after receiving a report that the Landwalker had returned, I readied a party of my swiftest and strongest warriors and together we swam to the area where the Landwalker was treading water. We stayed ten feet back to give us time to react to an attack.

Rage flared instantly in my chest as I recognized the Landwalker. Had he come to gloat about stealing Sol away? Had he killed her?

“Lord Cadfael!” the man said excitedly. I struggled to remember the name he’d given Sol, but it eluded me.

“What do you want Landwalker!” I yelled.

“Thank the heavens you came! I’ve been waiting out here for three days.”

“If you’re here just to waste my time then leave my waters now or I will have my warriors execute you now,” I said in a stern voice. In truth, I wanted to kill him on the spot, but held back my murderous intent in consideration of Sol.

The Landwalker put up his hands and shook his head. “No, I’m not here to waste time. I wanted to let you know that Sol is still alive. She’s being held prisoner, but I’m going to free her.”

I felt my heart twist in my chest. Was he telling the truth or was he lying to me so I would lower my guard? I swam closer and stared into the man’s eyes.

“Why should I believe you?”

He looked away and sighed. “I know I shouldn’t expect you to… after all she was only captured because of me. But if she stays in that cell she’ll die! Help me save her.” I stared into his eyes and saw the pain I was feeling in my own heart. Was it possible that this Landwalker had fallen in love with Sol? Was it possible that he was telling the truth?

I swam within arms length of him. His eyes were wide as I approached him. “How do I know this is not a trick?” I asked.

I watched him gulp before speaking. “You’ll have to trust me,” he said softly. “Look… I’m sorry that she was taken. If I had known… If I had known that there was someone in the temple that would try to kill her, I wouldn’t have taken her there.”

“If you had known? For centuries, your people have hunted and slaughtered us! How could you not know that someone would try to kill her? What makes your temple so special?”

“Our priests take oaths of peace! To physically harm someone is to lose their brotherhood.” He looked down at his chest. “Look, Sol loves you. It’s tearing her apart to be away from here.”

My heart ached in my chest while he spoke to me. Was it true that she was alive? Was it possible that she loved me? I remembered the cruelty I had shown in her presence and my tempered rage. I was not a good man, I drove everyone away from me because I was afraid to be kind. I was afraid to be vulnerable.

Ai left me because I couldn’t comfort her, Syr left me because she couldn’t comfort me. Sol left me because she feared me. Why couldn’t I be myself? Would I remain my father’s puppet?

I clenched and unclenched my fists as I released my anger with a sigh. Anger was my father’s favorite weapon, but did it need to be mine?

“What’s your name?” I asked softly. The man flinched and I wondered what he saw on my face.

“I’m Ryaa, Ryaa Kane. Pleased to meet you.” He held out his hand to me. I regarded it for a moment before taking it in my own.

“Pleasure,” I replied. “What do you need from me?”

His face lit up instantly and for a brief moment I was reminded of Sol’s enthusiasm. My lips thinned as I held back a smile.

“There’s a wedding three days from now. The temple will be filled with guests visiting from all over the county. My girlfriend and I will disguise Sol as a visitor and sneak her out past the guards. One of the priests will distract her guard during that time. It will still take about a day’s travel to reach Wallow. We can meet on the beach over there,” he said pointing behind me. “And you can take her back to your home.”

“So, in four days, I meet you here?”

“Yes.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I owe her my life. If it wasn’t for her I would have drowned. Even if I had survived on my own I wouldn’t be any better than the ones killing your people… I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused you.” Ryaa shrugged and gazed out at the sea dejectedly.

I sighed and rubbed my temples. “I’m…sorry as well… for trying to kill you. My people are important to me, I’m loathe to lose any more.”

Ryaa smiled widely. “I accept your apology. I probably would have tried to do the same thing to you if our roles had been reversed.”

“Hmm… Well then I’ll be waiting for your return.”

I sank below the surface and joined my warriors. Bran was waiting for me at the entrance to my hold. “Tell Captain Ireta to meet me in my study.”

“Yes, Lord,” he said as he bowed.

My guard captain had first served under my father as a lieutenant before I had promoted her to captain following the retirement of the previous captain. Besides Bran, she was the only one that I trusted in my waters.

The captain bowed as she greeted me before standing at attention.

“Ireta, in four days there will be a Landwalker with Sol who will meet us at the Forbidden Line near the village of Wallow. It will be the southernmost beach. I do not know the exact time, but I would like for us to be waiting there before dawn. They may be pursued. How many guards do you think we’ll need?”

“My Lord, if they’re being pursued I would suggest ten. With ten we are capable of toppling any of their smaller vessels. Half can be equipped with shields in case we need to leave the water and stand on the Line. I already have a few warriors in mind.”

“Thank you, you’re free to leave.”

After the door closed I rested my head in my hands.

I’m a fool. A hopeless fool, I thought to myself. I was trusting a Landwalker to bring back Sol. How could I trust my heart to the enemy? Had I put too much expectation on Sol? Was she really my last chance at happiness?

Maybe I didn’t deserve to be happy…

Aur burst into my study at that moment. He held a book in his hands as he ran from his nursemaid. “No! I want papa to read it!” He dived into my lap knocking the breath from me.

“Aur! Why are you running?”

“Mmhmmhmm,” he mumbled into my chest.

“Son, I can’t understand you.”

He picked up his head and revealed his irritated eyes. Snot and tears ran down his face as he looked at me. “I want you to read to me…”

I kissed his forehead and turned to his nursemaid. “I can take care of him now. Thank you.”

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

She smiled and bowed to me before leaving the room. I looked at the book in Aur’s hands. On the worn blue cover was a picture of the moon over a castle. ‘The Prince and the Moon’ was a story that my mother would read to me as a child.

“Will you read it?” Aur whined?

“Yes, Darling,” I said and sat him in my lap. I opened up to the first illustrated page. On it was a small boy with a gold crown on his head.

Once upon a time there was a prince who fell in love with the moon.

Every day he would sleep and every night he would stay awake to watch the moon from moon rise to moon set.  He would sing to the moon and talk to the moon and offer it gifts, but the moon was silent. 

Eventually the prince grew sad because he could not be with the moon so he ordered the wisest of his men to conceive a way for him to travel to the stars so that he could be with the moon.

The first wise man built him a large catapult.  “This shall launch you among the stars,” he told the prince.  The prince climbed into the catapult and the first wise man pulled the trigger.   The prince was launched high into the air and got stuck in a tree.   Several of his guards had to climb up to get him.

The first wise man was dismissed.

The second wise man built him a pair of wings.   “You shall fly up into stars,” he told the prince.  The prince put on the pair of wings and the second wise man fastened them tight.  The prince climbed up onto the roof of the highest tower of the castle and jumped off. He spread out his arms and began to flap vigorously. A large gust of wind lifted him over the castle walls and into a pig sty.  Covered in filth the prince limped angrily back to the castle.

The second wise man was dismissed.

The third wise man built him a large harpoon made of gold with a silver rope and had five holy men bless it.  “You shall capture the moon and pull it to you,” he told the prince.  That night the prince had his guards position the harpoon on the highest hill in the kingdom and fire it toward the moon.  The harpoon fell short of the moon and struck a windmill on a neighboring hill.

The third wise man was dismissed.

The fourth wise man built a ship gilded in gold and silver and encrusted with the rarest of gems from around the kingdom. He had ten holy men bless it and christened it with the oldest and finest wine. “You shall sail into the stars and to the moon,” he told the prince.  That night the prince sailed the boat onto the lake with a personal crew and his guards, but with all the gems, gold and silver the boat weighed too much and began to sink into the lake.  The crew and guards began to jump into the lake as water began to flood the boat.  As the prince prepared to jump he noticed that the lake had stars in it, and as he looked further away, he saw the moon.

Quickly the prince jumped into the water and swam toward the reflection of the moon.  As he tried to touch the moon his ripples disturbed the water and its reflection disappeared.  Suddenly a beautiful woman with hair as silver as the moon and eyes as dark as its shadows appeared before him in the water.

“Who are you?” the prince asked.

“I am the moon,” the woman said.  “I heard you sing to me and offer me gifts so I came down to thank you.”  The prince looked up and saw that the moon was no longer in the sky.

The woman swam closer to the prince and gave him a kiss colder than the stars that made him shiver from head to toe. After the kiss they both swam toward the shore of the lake where the prince’s guards and ship crew waited for him.  They pulled him out of the water, but as the prince turned around to help the woman he found that she was gone.

When the prince looked up into the sky the moon shined bright and distant.

The prince returned to the castle and told the fourth wise man that he could have all the gold, silver and gems on the boat that sunk if he could raise it.

The fourth wise man raced quickly to the lake and soon drowned.

Many years passed and the prince became king and married a princess from a neighboring land, but he never forgot the night he met the moon and every night he would sing to the moon before he went to bed, and every night the moon was silent.

“Why did he love the moon?” Aur asked.

“Because it was beautiful.”

“But it always ignored him. Didn’t he love the princess? Why would he marry the princess if he loved the moon?”

“Sometimes as a noble you have to marry someone you don’t love.”

“Did you love mama?”

A lump rose in my throat. What was I to tell him?

“I-We did love each other, but we were not meant to be together.”

“Like the moon?”

I smoothed back the stray hairs on his forehead. Being close to him I could see more of Ai in his face. I wondered what life would have been like if we had never lost Aur’s siblings. Would we be happy? Would I have lost my interest in Sol? Would I have Aur?

“If your mother is the moon, then Sol is the princess.”

“Do you love Sol?”

“Yes, I do.”

“When is she coming home?”

“Soon. Do you want me to read this story again?”

“Yes, Papa!”

The days seemed to pass quickly as I spent more time with my son. He reminded me how I was as a child before my father molded me into the man that I was now. Would I make the same mistakes? Would I teach Aur to let his anger rule his actions?

I was woken up before dawn by one of my servants. I sent for Aur’s nursemaid and kissed him softly so that I didn’t wake him. I stared at him for several minutes. And then left the room. “Guard my son well,” I told the guards stationed at the door. They bowed

I met my guards at the entrance to my hold. They bowed to me as I entered. Captain Ireta approached me. “My Lord, my warriors are ready to leave when you are.”

“Thank you. Are the local patrols on standby?”

“Yes, nothing suspicious reported yet.”

“I’ll return soon.”

We left the hold and swam toward the beach Ryaa had pointed out. I stayed beneath the waves with the majority of my guards while one waited near the surface as a scout. Soon the sun rose illuminating the water around us and yet there was no sign of Sol or Ryaa Kane.

I grew restless and wished I had my fan with me, but I had left it at home. A fan would be all but useless in an altercation should it come to that. Hours passed and the tide rolled in to the beach. Noon came and went and I began to think that they weren't coming.

I closed my eyes as I felt an ache in my chest. What was I to do without her?

"Sir!" one of my guards sang. I opened my eyes. "Sir, Lane has heard hounds coming from the south of us.

Hounds? I wondered.

"Let's go," I sang. Minutes after we began swimming for the cliffs a flash of light halted us in our movement. I covered my eyes as I felt a sharp pain from exposure to it. My vision cleared and I swam up to surface to see if I could find the source of the light. My guards joined me and together we scanned the cliff and sea.

"Sir, there!" I think I see someone floating over there." 

I followed where she was pointing with my eyes. My heart began to beat wildly in my chest. "Sol," I whispered. I knew it had to be her, I felt it deep in my heart. I broke away from my guards and swam toward the cliff. "Sol!" I yelled as loudly as I could. The person turned to look at me and my eyes burned. It was her!

I increased my speed and saw that she was holding Ryaa in her arms. His eyes were closed and the water was reddening around them. I enveloped both of them in my arms. I kissed her. "Sol, I missed you," I said then kissed again her. I felt as if a light had filled my heart and dispelled the shadows that had hid colors from my sight. Everything seemed vibrant, but to me Sol was the most radiant.

"Vael! Vael we need to get him to a healer or he'll die!"

I heard the urgency in her voice and took the Landwalker into my arms. We dived below the surface where my guards joined us. I looked at the Landwalker in my arms and noticed that he had changed. Where his legs should be was a tail like any Watefolk. How had this happened?

Together we swam back to the hold and I carried the limp man up the stairs of my entrance. "Get me Holly," I roared. I noticed then that even his hair had taken on the sheen of Waterfolk. What sorcery or miracle could have caused this?

Two of my servants sprinted away while Bran met me at the stairs. “Sir, isn’t that our lady’s prisoner? What has happened to him?” he said.

"The trackers shot him," Sol said weakly from behind me. I turned to see her kneeling on knee while favoring her leg that bled profusely.

"Here," I said to one of the guards and handed him Ryaa's body before turning my attention back to Sol. I sat next to her and pulled her leg into my lap so that I could apply pressure to it. She smiled weakly at me and I resisted the urge to hug her once again.

I couldn't believe it. She was here again with me, but I was bothered by the fact that Ryaa was now Waterfolk. Did Sol love him? Had the Gentle God blessed this man so that she could be with him?

Holly and his assistants rushed into the room and split in two groups with Holly going to the Landwalker who had been laid out on the floor. He tore open the shirt and revealed a Grace below it. He paused for a moment before lifting it to reveal a deep wound that was still bleeding.

Sol choked and I buried her face in my shoulder. “Sol, don’t look. Holly will take care of him,” I whispered gently. One of Holly's assistants began to pod the area around Sol's wound. She sucked in her breath and gripped the front of my robe tightly. "How is her leg? Will she be okay?" I asked gruffly.

“My lord, the Landwalker bullet is still in her leg, we will need to remove it before continuing treatment.”

"And what of the prisoner?" I said addressing the room.

"Sir, I do not know," the assistant said.

"My Lord, we will need to move them both from this room. It is much too cold and unsanitary for the work we need to perform," Holly said. I nodded in acknowledgement and motioned to Bran who began directing my guards to help the assistants move Ryaa.

I stood up with Sol still in my arms and gave her a quick peck on the forehead. She wrapped her arms around my neck, her eyes still closed.

"Sir, Milady?" Bran said cautiously.

"Bran, prepare Sol's room," I said.

"Shall I send for her father as well?"

"Yes."

I carried Sol carefully through the halls of my hold. I walked at a slow pace so as not to jar her leg and give the servants more time to prepare her room. A servant opened the door for me as we reached the room. I laid Sol gently on the bed, but she still hissed out in pain. Suddenly she vomited all over herself, me, and the bed. I felt my own bile rise in my throat and forced it down.

 The assistant wiped Sol's mouth with a cloth before forcing her to drink from a vial that a second assistant had given him.

"Mari, Rina, Eve, we need to clean off Sol and clear her bed. I'll hold her while you strip the mattress. Sol was limp in my arms as I held on to her. Occasionally her eyelids would flutter and her lips moved.

Eve helped me strip Sol down to her Grace before I placed her back on the bed. "Vael," I heard her say under her breath.

"Sol, don't worry they're going to take the bullet from your leg now," I said. Her eyes fluttered once more and then her head lolled to the side.

Ice gripped my spine and I cupped her face in my hands. "Sol? Sol can you hear me?" I said loudly.

I felt a hand on my arm and followed it up to an assistant's face. "It's alright. This potion is meant to put her to sleep."

I immediately relaxed and pulled away as the assistants began their work. I couldn't look as they cut into her wound and had to send the servants from the room. 

They completed their work in an hour and I had the servants clean up the room before I left to clean myself off. My whole body trembled as I lowered myself into my tub.

She's alive, I thought as the warmth of the water relaxed my tensed muscles. Does she love me? Does she love Ryaa? Will she stay?

So many questions unanswered.

I brought my work into Sol's room to read over while I waited for Sol to awaken. Aur came to join me during dinnertime and stayed. It was an hour after that when Sol began to stir. It was Aur who noticed first. He grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me toward her bedside.

She looked exhausted  as she gazed up at me warily.

"Do you hate me?" she asked.

I smiled, would she always ask me questions instead of greeting me? "More questions; do you ever stop? No, I do not hate you.”  I kissed her. I wanted her to know that I still loved her. Would my feelings get through to her?

"I'm sorry I ran away," she said as I sat next to her. "I just couldn't see Ryaa abused after I had saved him."

I looked away to hide the sadness that I felt in my heart. I had not intervened when my guards had treated the Landwalker poorly. It was my fault that she had fled. Did she hate me? Was she only allowing me to kiss her out of fear for her and Ryaa's life?

"Aur, go find your nursemaid," I said to my son. He had been standing near us watching us silently. He darted forward and kissed my cheek before leaving the room. When the door closed I lay beside Sol and let my emotions out. The tears that I had been holding back for so long finally fell from my eyes.

I was hurting because I had driven her away. I was hurting because I didn't think she could ever love me. I was hurting because the Landwalkers had hurt her in ways that I did not know about.

I was a spineless fool of a lord.

When my tears were spent I sat up cleared the evidence away with my sleeve. Why did I feel comfortable showing her my vulnerability?

"Just tell me why you ran away instead of talking to me," I said softly.

"I was scared. I had saved that man, but to see everyone treat him as if he was worthless, as if my honor was worthless, it hurt," she said sadly.

I gripped the mattress tightly as I worked up the courage to ask her my next question. Regardless of the answer, I knew it wouldn't change my feelings for her. "When you were with the Landwalkers, did he... did they...?" I cursed myself because I couldn't even finish my sentence. The thought that I could have led her to such torture scared me.

"No, no one. I'm yours." She struggled to sit up and sucked in her breath sharply before letting out a strangled noise from her throat. I placed my hand against her forehead and felt the fierce fever in her body.

"You still have a fever. I'll make sure Cia brings you a tonic."

"What about Ryaa?"

Even as she lay sick she was still worrying about him Did she even care how I felt at this moment?  "He's not doing well. Holly has him in a tub to bring his temperature down," I said bitterly.

"I want to see him."

"Sol, you need to rest. You were wounded by the Landwalkers and have a fever, if we're not careful your leg could get infected."

Tempest and waves, I know the risks Cadfael, my mother was a warrior! I trained alongside my cousins before my father made me promise to put down my shield and spear after she died. This is nothing new to me," she whispered at the end.

I grew angry. Why did she continue to sacrifice her health and safety for someone who wasn't one of us? Why did she sacrifice herself for him? Did I mean nothing to her?

"Do you love him?" I demanded. She grabbed my hand swiftly and pulled it to her cheek.

"No!"

She said no, but that didn't mean that she loved me. 

“No, Vael, I do not love him. His life became mine the moment I saved him. I changed him for the better or the worse, I don’t know. You saw him just as well as I did; he became Waterfolk. The Gentle God has blessed him," she continued after my silence.

“How do you know that this isn’t some Landwalker ploy to gain our trust then attack us as soon as our backs are turned? Sol, I am in an uneasy position here. I need to protect our people and you. I acknowledge that the Landwalker has changed physically, but it does not mean his mind has.” 

Landwalkers were still our enemy a few months wasn't going to change that.

“Ryaa’s different, even before this change he-“

"He came to me..." I said cutting her off. “While you were still imprisoned by the Landwalker priests, he swam out into the sea, something Landwalkers don’t do, and waited. My warriors notified me and I came to confront him myself. I thought that he had come to gloat about killing you; I wanted to see him bleed. Instead of gloating he told me what had happened and together we formed a plan.”

Sol's grip tightened on my hand. “He’s in love with you. He never said it aloud, but his words and actions betrayed him. I wonder if it was because of his love that the Gentle God blessed him, but it made me wonder if you loved him as well,” I said sadly. I pulled back the blankets covering her and lifted her from the bed. 

Bran was in the hallway outside Sol's room frowning. Cia was waiting quietly beside him. I saw a flash of anger in her eyes as she looked at Sol from beneath the lashes of her bowed head. “My lord, your fiancée is wounded; do you want to place her in further danger?” Bran asked as we passed them.

“Bran, I understand your concern, but it is not needed,” I said coldly. He and Cia followed us.

Sol remained silent as I carried her to Ryaa. I felt my heart breaking in my chest, pieces falling away with each step as we neared his room. I had lost.

My guard saluted us outside of Ryaa's room and then opened the door for us. Holly was in the room sitting next to the tub that Ryaa had been placed in. I could see bags under his eyes and knew that he was struggling to keep the Landwalker alive. He immediately stood up when he saw me and bowed before turning his attention back to Ryaa.

"What is his condition?" I asked as I kneeled.

“My lord, you should have let your lady rest in bed. I can see from here her own fever has not broken. She needs to rest, seven hours is not enough,” Holly said with irritation. “As for this one,” he said moving his hand to address all of Ryaa. “His condition is even worse. The water has done nothing to bring down his temperature and he hasn’t been awake long enough to try and get more medicine into his system.”

The healer sighed and shook his head.

I watched Sol as she kept her attention on Ryaa. I felt invisible as she spoke to Holly about him. She placed her hand in Ryaa's icy tub and he opened his eyes. Slowly he grabbed her hand held it while smiling then the light died in his eyes and his body went limp.

Sol began to moan and tremble in my arms. I could hear the heartache in her voice.

"Sol," I said softly. When she barely responded Holly gripped my shoulder.

“Take her back to bed quickly. I will not have two deaths this night,” he said. 

I tucked Sol into my chest and carried her away while she sobbed into my robes. She barely responded as I laid us both down on the bed and held her tightly. I felt alone even though she was with me. What could I do for her to love me? What could I do to take away her pain?

My heart ached in my chest. It was my fault that she was hurting.

Maybe if I had treated Ryaa better she would not have left me. Maybe she would not being crying over another man.

Maybe I wouldn't be alone.