As the setting sun shone over the Apexian skyline into his room, Finn was finished preparing and ready to go. For the mission. The meeting preceding it… he was less sure what to do about that.
He and Lyra hadn’t spoken since that emotional rollercoaster of a night. This time, he was the one dragging his feet, and he knew it. But what else was he going to do? It wasn’t as if he had a simple answer to her question. And he couldn’t let what they’d done compromise his goal in any way.
What if rejection had a worse effect, though? Would that strain their dynamic forever, making it so they never reached the same level of synchronicity they had previously? Maybe it was a pointless concern, but nothing related to this matter was trivial in his mind. Every decision he made regarding his relationship with her suddenly felt like it had the weight of the world behind it.
Would he lead her on, if he knew it helped him advance faster? He doubted he could ever get himself to that point, though the fact that he was even entertaining the thought was concerning. Either way, lying to Lyra wasn’t feasible regardless.
That left him with the truth, and how he wanted to handle that. There didn’t seem to be a right way, a right answer to all this. Yet, it would have to be addressed today; he couldn’t put it off any longer. It was just so jarring to have their relationship take such an abrupt turn. From what he could tell, it had been a long time coming for her. But he hadn’t even confronted the idea until she laid it out for him in detail. Hadn’t wanted to.
This was why he’d always imagine how useful precognition would be. No need to deal with all this nonsense drama when you could simply see how people would react in advance. Not knowing what she was going to say wasn’t scary. Just grating, with stakes this high.
He was sure she would at minimum act like she understood no matter what answer she got from him, and that made him want to disappoint her even less. He would be able to see her pain if he broke her heart. Hurting his friend was the last thing he wanted to do.
“Finn!” his mother’s voice called from downstairs, drawing his attention back to the present. In the awareness granted by his power, he saw her standing at the foot of the stairs. ‘Seeing’ every part of her body like this had been ultra weird at first, but he was learning to ignore certain aspects of the information being fed into his brain. And he was honestly glad to be able to check whether Mom was in good health in an instant.
Turning the door handle, he walked to the top of the stairs and faced her. There was no aura of emotions surrounding her, or anyone else. It was still only Lyra, as far as he could tell.
“There you are,” she said, smiling. “I was going to ask you what you wanted for dinner.”
“I’m heading out tonight,” he said.
Upon hearing that, her expression turned sad, then resolute. He didn’t need an aura to figure out what she was feeling; Emily Allister wore her emotions on her sleeve.
“I’d like to talk to you first,” she responded.
He sighed. “Alright.”
Turning around, she walked to the living room and he came down the steps, taking a seat on the couch opposite her when he arrived.
“Do you need me for anything at this point?” she asked, her face resigned.
His eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m relieved my son is growing up, but I barely had a hand in it. I’m just concerned because I don’t know you anymore.”
“I’m fine,” he said automatically.
Mom leaned back in her seat. “I know you are, but I feel so useless these days. You used to be either here or with Jack. Now you’re going to these parties, getting top grades in school, hanging out with other friends, or with your girlfriend who I still haven’t met. Is there nothing I can help you with?”
“There is.”
She perked up. “Oh?”
He grimaced and let his gaze wander to the floor. “It’s actually about Lyra.”
“You can tell me,” she said. Her face scrunched up as she reconsidered. “If you keep certain things to yourself.”
He gave her a flat look, but still spoke. “I don’t know what to say to her later. Last time, she took things further than I expected she would, and it’s been on my mind since. I can’t afford to let this affect how I… do things.” He couldn't be specific here.
Mom’s brows knitted in concern. “I’m unsure what you mean. Is she moving too fast for you? Are you uncomfortable with your body? Is there something else getting in the way?”
“I need to clear the air between us, that’s the important part. My issue is that I haven't decided what to tell her if I can’t give her what she wants.”
A smirk played on his mother’s lips. “You’re making it sound like you don’t know if you can. You need to figure that out for yourself first.”
Shaking his head, he replied, “I have to make sure this doesn’t get in the way of—”
“Finn. Focus on how you feel.”
At that, he fell quiet. How he felt? Why did everyone want to know so badly what his feelings were? They didn’t make a difference in anything, did they? In the end, it was his actions that spoke for him, not his feelings. He wasn’t going to let fleeting emotions decide the course of his life, right?
Except, in this instance, they were the only factor. If he had to tell his friend the truth, he needed to know what the truth was. So what did he want to do with her, obligations aside?
The first thing that came up in his mind were the times where Calliope was at her most reliable. Saving his life, landing a decisive blow in battle, scouting for him, muting his approach to their enemies. As a hero, it was obvious he didn’t want to break up what they had.
As for Lyra? He had no idea where to start. No, he didn’t dislike the time they spent together. Really, he appreciated their outings, those had been fun. But beyond that? It was difficult to think of her in a romantic context. That went for anyone else too.
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Why?
Was there not a person on Earth that matched his tastes, or was it another obstruction causing that dissonance? He quickly concluded it was the latter, considering he wasn’t that picky, but then what was stopping him from visualizing her in such a way?
At times like this, he found himself wishing he could see his own aura to eliminate all ambiguity in these sorts of situations. Yet he didn’t have that to guide him. The only thing guiding his life path right now was his goal. He paused in realization. That might be it…
He already knew he had never planned to get entangled with another person in a non-platonic manner while chasing that monster, but what about after that? After the big fight was done, did he plan to have a life? Did he plan to be alive?
Disturbingly, he found the answer wasn’t an immediate yes.
Finn sat in silence for a moment, digesting the weight of that last thought. It wasn’t that he had a death wish. He’d never actively expected to not make it out of his journey alive. But now, confronted with the concept of a life after his ultimate fight, he realized he had no plans for it. No real sense of what life might look like if he won. Or if he survived.
It wasn’t a conscious decision—more like something buried, a gnawing truth he’d refused to confront. The single-minded drive to accomplish what he ought to do for Dad ever since he gained his power, it did not prepare him for anything else, including this. He had nothing.
And now, here was Lyra, pulling him into a world of feelings and choices that didn’t fit neatly into his framework of revenge and justice. Her affection, her needs—they were real, and suddenly a future beyond his goal didn’t seem so impossible. But it still seemed… distant. Unreal. Like a distraction.
However, that wasn’t what he needed to address; this was about the present, where he had not fulfilled his duty and had a teammate who wanted to take the “mate” aspect of their relationship a lot more seriously.
Did he truly avoid deeper connection because he wanted to prevent himself from making the same mistakes as his father, or was that just a smokescreen for another part of him that he didn’t want to come to terms with? He had no clue. Shocker, he wasn’t going to figure out every part of his inner self in the span of a few minutes.
And maybe that was fine, if he opened himself up to learning on the go.
Ironic, then, that improvising wasn’t a comfortable method of conduct for him, even though he had plenty of practice with it in combat. Applying it to interpersonal bonds was a step above that, as far as he was concerned. Nonetheless, that didn’t mean he would discount the possibility.
“This was… eye-opening,” he muttered. “Would’ve taken me longer if I hadn’t come to you.”
Mom’s smile returned. “That’s why I’m here. You’re my son, I would be a pretty lousy mother if you couldn’t even talk to me.”
With a nod, he went to stand. The second he got up, she mirrored his movement. Before he knew it, her arms were wrapped around him, and he was surprised to note he was hugging her back.
When they separated, she was at eye level. She blinked and looked him up and down. “Are you entering another growth spurt?”
“I think so,” he said. He was certain, in fact. He always knew how tall he was at any given time with his sensory ability, but he was careful not to let such things influence his responses.
He hesitated. Couldn’t he just tell her? Did she not deserve honesty, despite how sure he was that she would be devastated?
In the end, he decided to wait. Once this upcoming operation succeeded, there would be another opportunity to sit her down and reveal himself.
Just as he reached the doorway, she called after him, “Oh, and Finn?” He stopped and glanced back at her. After a brief pause, she added, “Stay safe out there.”
“I will.”
*******
Although they hadn’t specifically agreed to meet up here, it was a common enough rendezvous point for them to know their next talk was going to be in this place. So Finn wasn’t perturbed in the slightest to sense Lyra waiting for him on the rooftop they had become rather familiar with during their relatively short career.
The outward reaction she had to his presence was a slight twitch, in stark contrast to her aura, which was going wild. Small wonder, with what was at stake.
Swinging around the corner of the last building, he saw her figure with his vision. Physically, she was prepared to go out into the field, but her expectant posture told him there was no dancing around the elephant in the room anymore. Not that he hadn’t known that to begin with.
Finn exhaled quietly, landing a few meters away, studying her. The sun had dipped low enough that the shadows on the roof elongated and stretched toward them, and his eyes instinctively flicked to his surroundings, absorbing the shades of the city and the fluctuating colors of her aura.
His teammate didn’t greet him, and neither did he say anything to dispel the awkwardness. They stood there, with her not knowing what she was going to hear and him not having found the words to express what he wanted to convey.
With his sensory prowess, he was able to determine that they were well out of sight from everyone, and would be for some time. And that was why he decided to take off the head covering of his bodysuit, along with his visor. He wasn’t going to do this as Shade.
Calliope’s bird mask came off as well, exposing the frightened face of Lyra Chen. She was watching, waiting for him to start speaking.
Finn set his visor down against one of the air conditioning units beside them, resting his palms on it to gather his thoughts for just a moment longer. Enough putting this off. He straightened, directing his gaze at her once more.
“What you said and did that night,” he began. “I’ve turned it over in my head in every way I could.”
“And?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. She didn’t move, but he could feel the weight of her anticipation pressing down on him.
“And… I don’t have anything more for you.” The words were delivered in a slow, deliberate tone.
The effect on her aura told him exactly when the words registered, though not every nuance was comprehensible. She wasn’t taking it well, uttering a trembling, “What?”
“What I was telling you, that wasn’t a lie. I don’t have the answers, I don’t know what I’m looking for. The things you were asking for never came up in my… life plans, whatever they’re called.” He shrugged. “Lyra, you are the only person I’ve confided all the most important elements of my life to. And I don’t think my choice to do that was wrong. In costume, you’ve always had my back. Out of costume, you’ve done your best to be a great friend. I acknowledge that.”
The shifting colors around her went from crushed to confused. “So, what does that mean?”
Finn allowed himself a full, genuine smile, teeth and all. “It means that I trust you.”
Her eyes went wide. He didn’t know why that made her heart and aura flutter, but he continued, “For that reason, even though my goal hasn’t changed, I’m willing to see where this goes. I’m willing to give you a chance.”
The tension in her shoulders seemed to melt, but only slightly. She swallowed hard, glancing down for a brief second before looking back up at him.
“A chance?” Her voice was hedging, as if afraid to hope too much. “As in a chance to be together?”
Finn nodded.
White bubbled up around her, a color he tentatively identified as relief, along with gradients of green, orange, purple, pink, and salmon. Disbelief and joy were evident on her face, and she walked forward with a blush spreading on her cheeks.
Shyly, the girl’s fingers touched his arms, like he was going to disappear if she didn’t. “You mean it?”
Another nod.
“So if I make my pitch now…” she said, raising her other hand and putting it on the other arm. At his lack of protest, she slowly pulled him closer.
And didn’t give him any more time to change his mind.