I breathe deeply as I step up to the mirror. It’s only been a week since I’ve last Stepped, but my vacation has come to an end. Time to head back to get another assignment.
"Step Lightly" I hear the receptionist call after me. I wave in her general direction.
I place my hand upon the glass, as I have countless times before. I stare deeply into the eyes of my reflection, and feel them start to turn fuzzy in my skull. My body begins to feel weightless, my muscles give out from under me, insufficient to hold my body up. I slump into the mirror, my wide-eyed gaze barely held to itself. A red streak is left as I slump further, the little bit of you that gets left behind from a dematerialization. My breath runs ragged, before it draws to a stop entirely. My physical self deteriorates out from under me, and the world spins as my vision fades.
I feel my body being lifted, but looking around, my physical self is gone, with only a void remaining. I lean my vision around, as if to stretch. This probably doesn’t do anything for my Stepping, but I do it, anyways. The world comes rushing up to me in a flash, and I’m immersed in thought. I imagine my body, my whole self. Every sensation of every nerve at once, every fiber of my physical being. The feeling of my whole body is exhilarating, the most tangible thing that can possibly be felt. The sum of existence is experienced at once, every emotion, physical sensation, with nothing left behind. It’s easy to lose track of your self when you’re in this state.
I focus my mind, and look to the world around me. My body is floating in a colorful, pale pool, that stretches a thousand miles in every direction. I pick a direction, and decide it to be up. I turn myself that way, pulling myself mentally up and out of the goop, onto a rock I have created. I see myself above the Sea, not within it, even though the energy of the Sea is still felt around me. It’s a nice abstraction to keep my center, to know what’s really me. I summon another rock in front of me, and leap onto it. The old one crumbles the moment my foot leaves it, its purpose having been served. I land squarely and gently on my new platform. I wait a moment, and decide my next move. I see an area with a great deal of untapped energy not far away. I start Stepping in that direction.
As I get closer, the energy becomes more distinct. I can see that it’s fresh. I land at its edge and kneel down to run my hand through it. Bits of experience flash themselves in front of me. Snippets of a mind, experiences long past, but also strong emotions. Love, regret, sadness, overwhelming sadness. My imagined self is knocked back. I feel as though the emotional wind has been knocked out of me. That was a mistake, and it could have been costly. I hold myself together, though. To harvest this energy I steel my emotions, dulling my sensations. I dip my hand in once again, and feel the being, but weakly. This life ended in tragedy, a being with no purpose. I let the emotion flow onto my skin, coating myself with the sum of this existence. I feel the grief of loss, of great challenges, of a sudden death. I’ve browsed plenty of experiences, both incoherent thoughts wafting through the Sea, and strong pools of being that I’ve dived head-first into. I don’t care to see another sob story, not right now, anyways. I concentrate, and focus the being into the palm of my hand. It condenses into a small, swirling red bead, no bigger than my thumbnail. The emotions coming off the bead are potent, a purified and concentrated form of the original soup. I create a small jar and string it on my waist, the bead within the jar. This is only a third of what I need.
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I could sift through the Sea in general, pulling out essences of being and condensing them to what I need, but that’s dirty, dangerous work. Most mind-stuff is diluted overtime, forming a homogeneous soup of experience. The similar thoughts, ideas, and emotions meld together into a bland nothingness. That is, technically, sufficient energy to pull yourself out of the Psychic Sea. I don’t care for it, though. It’s bland, meaningless. And, every so often, you’ll come across something that is abnormally powerful. If you’re caught unaware, it’s entirely possible it may injure you. It may knock a chunk off of you, or it could sear part of your being. Or, what I personally think is the worst outcome, it could merge with you, transforming your psyche into that of another, at least partially. I shudder just at the idea. I’m perfectly fine being who I am.
I explore a bit further, before I find another fresh pool. I taste it, and feel calm. Contentment is a rare feeling in the Sea. It’s a delicious taste. I savor it for a moment, and I wish I could linger here. There is so much anguish, hate, fear, sadness. It's unfortunate there's so much of it, it makes the process of Stepping much harder, more draining. I have one last taste before I begin extracting it. Before long, it’s been condensed to a pale, cloudy blue bead. The calm coming from it is so strong I make a separate jar. Putting two beads together when they’re so different can have… violent repercussions.
I now just need a final bead. The two I have are diverse enough that I don’t need a bead of equal size, just a small one. I sigh, and crouch down to the Sea’s edge. I guard my hand, and reach into the Sea. This area is one of melancholy, of minor mistakes, apathy, nothingness. Ironic that such so much contentment could be found here. I suck up enough of the being to form another bead, a small one. Even with my hand being guarded, it’s hard to keep the ennui from leaking into my own mind, at least temporarily. The bead is a dull gray, with no luster, no reflection, just empty nothingness.
I consider going swimming for a moment, to see what sensations are out there. But I’m already getting tired, and energy is lost very quickly when you’re guarding your whole mind, much less when you’re being bombarded with the hodgepodge mental energy of eons past. I pull the other two beads from their jars, and raise them above me. This is the hard part. I concentrate on where I want to be, a small foyer back in the physical world, one I’ve been many times. I focus almost all of my energy into projecting myself into this space, barely keeping my form coherent, barely protecting myself from the beads. In a flash, I drain the energy from the beads, and disappear from the Psychic Sea.
I awaken on the ground, in front of an ornate mirror, my head pounding. I try to raise myself off the ground, but my head spins, and I dry-heave, collapsing back to the floor. I’m glad there’s nothing in your stomach after you rematerialize. A familiar voice calls out to me, “Welcome back, Katie.” I turn my head as far as I can to the voice, not that I need to.
“Hey, Josh. A little help?” is what I mean to say. It sounds more like, “uh shhh. A wwww hep?”
“Yup, I gotcha. Must have been a hard journey.” No shit.
I can barely look in his direction, but he gently pulls me up, before someone else runs over and throws a robe over me.
“I gotcha, let’s get you to your room.” It's good to have people you can count on.
I black out again, fully spent from the journey and returning to the physical world.