XLVII. SOMEDAY YOU WILL BE LOVED

  Alice knocked on the great oak doors to Clarissa’s offices, the iron knocker echoed ominously through the cavernous nave of the palace chapel. The doors opened shortly and a young nun in white and red greeted Alice. Alice was stricken by the woman’s youth and beauty, and wondered why such a woman would commit herself to a life of celibacy. Assuming of course that she did live a celibate life, as it was known far and wide that the laws of chastity in The Order were widely disregarded, despite public denouncement that such hedonism existed in their ranks. The woman made the sign of The Dawn and bowed slightly, her face showed annoyance at the disturbance.

  “Thank you for visiting us, child of light, but I am afraid that The Cardinal is rather busy at the moment. Perhaps I can leave a message or schedule an appointment for a later date…”

  Alice of course did not buy the story at all, Clarissa spent her days socializing and partying.

  “I was actually summoned here by Her Eminence, she wished to meet with me for brunch, or so she said.”

  “I see, and you are?”

  “Duchess Alice Templeton of Briartach.” She replied officiously. “The proprietor of the army currently stationed here.”

  “I shall see if The Cardinal is ready for you.” The woman said, unimpressed by Alice’s title.

  Before she could say otherwise, the nun slammed the doors on her face and actually locked them again. Alice huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, the Cardinal would be sure to hear of this treatment. Though given whom they followed, such rudeness was to be expected.

  She stood in silence for several moments, the chants of the Monks on the other side of the chapel echoed through the stone and wood as muffled moans and melodic groaning vaguely reminiscent of language. Oddly enough, it was quite soothing, despite the ominous undertones their chanting carried. Finally, the door opened wide and the young nun stepped aside, ushering Alice in.

  “My apologies for the delay Mistress Templeton, the Cardinal will see you now.”

  Alice stepped inside the lavishly furnished reception room. There were paintings by famous artists upon the walls, potted plants, plenty of natural sunlight and large, stuffed leather seats. The nun returned to her own desk, littered with paperwork and writing materials. A door to the left opened and another nun, who motioned for her to follow, greeted Alice.

  She stepped into a large office with an oversized mahogany desk and throne of leather and polished wood upon a swiveling pedestal. There were more of the exotic plants, lavish sofas and paintings, sculptures and even a bar. On the far side through double glass doors was a patio, where Clarissa sat in her ostentatious mantle and robes sipping coffee beneath a heating glyph. The nun silently led Alice outside and pulled out her seat, which she took with a polite yet mumbled ‘merci’. She was used to opulent offices, but Clarissa’s were quite impressive.

  “Good morning Clarissa.” She said with a smile.

  “Good morning Alice.” Clarissa smiled briefly and poured cream into her cup.

  The nun took up position standing behind Clarissa as her silent sentinel. Clarissa sat staring at Alice for several tense and awkward moments as she sipped on what smelled like coffee and chicory. Alice squirmed, and turned away slightly as she tried to ignore the nun and Clarissa’s uncharacteristic reticence, but found the task impossible. She debated asking why she was even invited if they were just going to sit in silence, but decided to allow Clarissa’s eccentricity run its course for a bit longer.

  Perhaps that was the nuns purpose; to put the Cardinal’s guests in an awkward position should she seek to start an inquisition. As of right now, between Clarissa’s odd requests to see her and the tense silence, that was exactly what she felt was coming her way.

  “Alice, how old are you?” She asked conversationally, the benign start of an interrogation.

  “I am eighteen.” Alice replied a bit confused by the suddenness of the question and the direction it would lead. “I’ll be nineteen at the end of Flowersun. Why do you ask?”

  Clarissa merely nodded, as if mulling over some details. “That’s what I thought.” She mumbled, mostly to herself.

  “Clarissa?” Alice asked before she took a sip of cocoa.

  “We need to find you a man.” Clarissa said suddenly, causing Alice nearly to choke on her cocoa.

  Alice coughed and dabbed her mouth with a napkin. “Pardon?”

  Clarissa snorted in dismissal. “You heard me Alice, don’t play coy.”

  Alice blushed and shrank in her seat, the nerve of this woman sometimes!

  “I don’t believe my romantic life, or lack thereof, is of any consequence.”

  Clarissa smiled and motioned for her attendant to refill her cup. “No need to be embarrassed dear, I look on you as a little sister.”

  Alice wanted to ask ‘since when?’ but held her tongue. Clarissa had some agenda here; she just needed to find out what. It was possible she already had a suitor picked out and was using Alice to curry favor with the aristocracy. Of course, the woman would see nothing wrong with that, but hoped she would possess a bit more tact than that. Most likely however, was that the Cardinal wanted a project. Alice would play no part in her machinations, though she was hard pressed to question the woman’s sincerity. No matter how misguided.

  Clarissa placed her hand over her heart. “I do this out of concern for you.”

  Alice rolled her eyes. “Thank you.”

  “There’s a vicious little rumor going around that you’re….” Clarissa looked around before she leaned forward to whisper in a conspiratorial voice. “A gay.”

  Alice nearly laughed aloud. “Clarissa, I’m not gay.”

  Which was true enough. She had and did play both sides of the field from time to time, but could not definitively say she was one or the other. Should it matter even? A look of relief washed over Clarissa as she leaned back, and took up her cup of coffee with delicate, manicured fingers.

  “That’s what I’ve been telling them all along. You’re just shy around men is all.” She said matter-of-factly and took a sip.

  Alice smirked behind her raised cup. She was not shy around anyone. However, she was curious, given Clarissa’s colorful past, why she was being so prudish on the subject.

  “What if I was a lesbian?” Alice asked mischievously, to which Clarissa raised her eyebrow and slurped her coffee. “What would be so bad about that?”

  Clarissa set down her cup on a waiting saucer, and her aid dabbed her mouth with a linen napkin. “Firstly, I know you are trying to provoke me, and it won’t work. Secondly, it is unnatural. Does stag lay with stag? Doe with doe or bitch with bitch?”

  Alice could not help but giggle at the word choice of this supposed holy woman. So, the common consensus was that it was unnatural for a woman to bed another woman, but perfectly fine to sleep with scores of men. In that sense, Alice actually felt sorry for her, and had to remind herself that Clarissa actually did have a good heart beneath all of the pomp and frivolity. Still, she was only able to hold her tongue with some effort. In any regard, it was nobody's business who she chose to give her affections too.

  “Humans aren’t meant to be alone, that’s why there are two sexes. And don’t get me wrong, the company of women is fine and all, but there are some thing’s women can’t do.” Clarissa took a sip of coffee and continued speaking before Alice got a chance to respond. “The least of these being reproduction.”

  Alice shook her head. “I’m not sure that I want children, at least not yet…”

  “But see,” Clarissa jabbed her finger at the table, as if she had made a point, “you do want them.”

  “I suppose…” Alice conceded, more to prevent an argument than agreement, it seemed Clarissa was in a mood this morning.

  “Men are our balance.” Clarissa spoke in self righteous tones as if she were sharing some great secrets only she had been able to discern. “The strong, broad shoulders to our slender build, the hard, muscular chest to our soft breast. Their muscular arms that offer strength and protection to our loving embrace. And their tight, firm buttocks…”

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  Alice held up her hand to stop her. “Alright, I get the picture.”

  Clarissa smiled sheepishly and fanned herself with her voluminous sleeves. Alice could only guess whom she was describing.

  “Yes, well you see my point. We need to find you a boyfriend!” Clarissa squealed in delight.

  Alice sighed; she had found what her project was at least. She had a boyfriend or two during her time at the Academy, and like most students, she had sex. After the first couple of times, she and her partner got accustomed to one another; it was quite enjoyable. It was often joked that people went to Asketill for sex and parties first, magic second. A reputation the Deans were not keen on, but found difficult to change, especially since most mages arrive at the cusp of puberty and are often experiencing their first time away from home. A couple of times she had even gotten ahold of one of the real experienced upperclassmen, so finding a partner was no issue for her. Admittedly, however, sometimes an expert tongue and nimble fingers just were not enough to scratch a certain itch she had. All of that was none of Clarissa’s business in any regard. There were far more important issues at hand, such as the war for starters. She sometimes wondered if Clarissa was even aware there was a war going on.

  “So, what type of man do you fancy yourself with?”

  “I beg your pardon,” Alice groaned and pushed away her empty cup, “but what does this have to do with our current situation?”

  Clarissa frowned. “Everyone needs something, moreover someone to fight for. To think on lovingly when times are hard, to motivate them to continue. Someone to give meaning to all of this meaningless bloodshed. Aichlan has Ashe and their soon to be child, Eth…” Clarissa paused, looking somewhat distraught. “Eth fights for quite a few reasons.”

  Alice sat up, surprised by the depth this woman so oft hid beneath a veneer of shallowness. Her heart truly was in the ‘right place’ as the saying went, and most importantly, it was open. If only she could work on the delivery.

  She sighed again, and gave the question some legitimate thought. She did love Fiora, but would not delude herself by saying it could be anything long term. She could see that clearly, now that Fiora was gone and she could view the relationship objectively. She did want children at some point, especially given her trajectory as future Queen. And Clarissa was right in some regards, she did miss the company of males. From time to time. Had she not felt something when Kielan hoisted her up on his shoulders so long ago?

  “I’m not sure…” Again, her thoughts drifted to Kielan, the memory nearly bringing tears to her eyes. “Someone strong and kind like Kielan was. But also, someone intelligent that has a strict moral code of their own to follow, despite what others may think or say.”

  Clarissa smiled wryly. “You want someone stubborn and arrogant like Aichlan.”

  Alice blushed and turned away, the questioning had become uncomfortable. “I suppose, if you must put it that way.”

  “Hmm. Well admittedly, the men of Duvachellé aren’t shit, at least the nobility. Eth is a bit too old for you, and I doubt you’d be able to handle his sourpuss moods. However, when this is all over and done I’ll be sure to stop by the green hills of Aes Sidhe to search someone out for you.

  “Thanks.” Alice said sarcastically as she played with her cup and wondered if the silent nun would ever refill it.

  “No problem at all!” Clarissa chirped, quite pleased with herself.

  This had to be the oddest woman Alice ever came across. She was also infectious; it was hard for anyone to be upset with her for long.

* * *

  Aichlan finished his set of push-ups and wiped the sweat from his face on a towel. He rested on his knees for several moments, stretching out his arms before dropping down to complete the next set. He had neglected his training and physical fitness during the past few months, and it felt good to get back into routine. The burn of exercise also conveniently distracted him from the complexities of the war. All of his focus was on taking his next breath, maintaining form, and pushing his body up off the ground. His joints began to pop as he forced himself to complete the last ten, and he sat up, his body tingling pleasantly with endorphins.

  “Ye cheated yerself on the last four there.”

  Aichlan looked up to see Ashe watching him from a chair by the empty fireplace. He had not heard her enter, and was unsure how long she had been watching. She smiled and took a sip of tea, dressed in a white flowing empire waisted gown to accommodate her bulging belly, Aichlan found himself grinning stupidly despite himself. Ashe had a habit of bringing a smile to his face, even when he wanted to do the exact opposite, even when he was upset with her -which was admittedly rare- just seeing her brightened his spirits.

  Aichlan wiped his face off on the rag and stood up. He took a long drink of water from the glass on the nightstand, and joined her at the tea table. She silently poured him a cup of tea, dropping in a single cube of sugar and a splash of milk, just the way he liked it.

  “Tryna sweat oot all the booze I see.” She said with a smirk. “Or perhaps yer tryna bulk up that scrawny frame o’ yers?”

  Aichlan smirked and stirred his tea. “You wound me woman.”

  Ashe bit her lower lip as she drank in his shirtless body, glistening with sweat, covered in scars that told the story of heroism and resolve. She took a sip of tea and gently nudged a tray of scones towards him, which Aichlan politely declined. With the recent battle and scurrying around to get their forces in order, it had been far too long since Aichlan had last spent such an intimate moment with her, and he realized how much he had missed it.

  “So how have you been?”

  Ashe laughed and shrugged. “Oh, ye know, doin’ this an’ that. Spendin’ a bit o’ time at the royal forge, teachin’ some amateurs how tae properly work the fires.” Ashe laughed and swatted at Aichlan as he pulled a face. “Daen’t give me that look, I’m pregnant, nae crippled.”

  Aichlan silently sipped his tea. While glad she was able to amuse herself while he more or less ignored her, he was still concerned. Anything could happen while working on hot metal with heavy tools. While he knew Ashe was not the type of woman to take up crocheting, he wished she would find something less hazardous to fill her time with.

  “Been spendin’ a fair bit o’ time with Aislyn as well.”

  “Oh?” Aichlan set down his teacup, intrigued. “How has that been?”

  Ashe shrugged and buttered a scone. “She’s a nice enough lass, bit ova bitchy streak, but she’s brigh’ and well-meaning enough.”

  “News to me…” Aichlan muttered.

  Aislyn had a bit of a reputation in Duvachellé, and had picked up the moniker Ice Princess. She scorned many would be suitors, and was unapologetically power hungry. Her father was a known pedophile, and while her mother and eventually members of the court shielded her from the proclivities of her late father, growing up in such an environment likely warped her in some way or another. There were many stories of the princess torturing would be suitors for little more than her own amusement at watching them squirm. Aichlan pitied any man she took as her husband.

  “She’s getting married.” Ashe said offhandedly.

  Aichlan nearly spit out his tea. “What? To who?”

  “Odell.” Ashe said through a mouthful of scone.

  “Unbelievable…” Aichlan murmured under his breath.

  “Speaking o’ marriage…” Ashe said coolly. “When do ye plan on makin’ an honest woman oot of me?”

  Aichlan chuckled nervously and moped his forehead with a napkin. “Well…. I uh, when…um...”

  Ashe’s green eyes bore into his very soul, not giving him an inch as he squirmed in the seat. Despite there being no fire in the hearth, he suddenly felt very warm. While he had no reason not to marry Ashe, he had always expected such a conversation to come much, much later. If at all. The corner of her lips began to turn downward, and Aichlan felt his heart skip a beat.

  “When do you want to?” He blurted hastily.

  Ashe smiled and took a sip of tea. “I want a big one.”

  Aichlan swallowed. “A big what?”

  “Wedding silly. My family held nae titles, and I want a princess’ wedding.”

  Aichlan laughed. “But I’m no prince.”

  Ashe rolled her eyes and gave him a skeptical stare. “Yer da was on a first name basis with the king and ye dote on an heir tae the throne like she were a sister. I’m sure ye can manage a princely wedding upon yer return.”

  Aichlan scratched his head. “Well, Céolsige only has the one name, but I get where you’re coming from.”

  “I want it big, and I want it in the capitol, on the streets with parades, and a dress with a train so long I’ll need a dozen little girls to carry it. On each side.”

  Aichlan chuckled fretfully and scratched his chin. “That’s a bit… Extravagant.”

  “I daen’t want the ceremony in a temple either, it has to be a Colby-Nau ceremony in the palace courtyard or gardens.” Ashe continued enthusiastically. “And I want you to invite all your noble friends so they can shower us and our child in lavish gifts.”

  “Alright…” Aichlan said with a hesitant smile, he had no idea Ashe was so materialistic.

  “Good. Should I send fer a notary?”

  “For what?” Aichlan asked crossly. “Is my word not bonding enough?”

  Ashe pursed her lips together and traced the rim of her teacup with her finger. “Hmm. Of course, it is, I just want something…Tangible, ye know, tae make it official. That’s all.”

  Aichlan could not help but to laugh at her half-assed answer, though admittedly, she did have cause to be concerned. While he had no intention of reneging on her or otherwise leaving her high and dry, he did have a reputation in the city. A reputation she no doubt heard all about by now.

  Aichlan sighed and pulled a ring from his finger. “Here.”

  He placed the silver band with white stone and emerald settings on the table before her. Ashe picked up the ring and gave him a perplexed look.

  “It’s my genealogy, proof of who I am.” He motioned for her to put the ring to her temple. “Now close your eyes.”

  Ashe did as he asked. “Oh! It’s a memory stone.”

  Aichlan nodded. “Those are my ancestors. Soon, I will have a new set made, showing my wife and child, but until then, you can hold on to this one.”

  Ashe smiled. “Is this yer ma and da?”

  “Aye, when they were first married.”

  “He’s a handsome man, but you have your mother’s mischievous eyes.” Ashe opened her eyes and proudly slipped on the ring. “Ye come from good stock, oor baby should be gorgeous.”