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Chapter 48 - Practice

He gazed at his weapon for a long time after Gad left.

The colors swirled and shifted across the blade. Hypnotic.

Gad’s words burned in his mind, roaring like the Pressure, shredding all doubt and hesitation.

Even her steps taught him about the kind of person she was. The kind of person he aspired to be.

It was enviable.

Unlike him, she didn’t doubt herself.

No, that doesn’t sound right.

They were all sentient here. All subject to the same failings and weaknesses.

So, what is it then?

What kept her going? What kept Gad standing at the front of the party, ready to receive the enemy and block it with her shield and body? She was never certain of what came her away from the darkness. In fact, most of the time, it was a complete surprise.

That blow after the tutorial had been beyond anyone’s imagination. Yet, while he had hesitated after he knew what was coming, she hadn’t hesitated while not knowing. He had run out to meet the guardian only after his [Hearing] had told him what it was. For Gad, Jul had simply said “Incoming!” and Gad had stepped up. No hesitation. No questions.

Did she have doubts then? She must have.

How about when she stood right under the Sentry, blocking those massive limbs, even as poison fell on her? She stood her ground, but what went through her mind then? Was she scared? Did she want to run away? Did she think it was unfair? Did she regret her choices?

It didn’t matter. She held her ground.

Maybe, it's not that she doesn’t doubt herself… He thought. Maybe, she just doesn’t doubt what she needs to do. She knows it and she doesn’t run from it.

He moved the blade and watched it glimmer in a hundred different hues and tones.

That's my problem. I forgot why I’m here and I have been running from it.

He was there to Climb, and to get stronger, so that one day, he could return and save his dad.

But for that, I need to Climb first. And for that, I need this party. I need to stop looking at them like something I can throw away… Because I can’t. I can’t do any of this on my own, and I could never trust any other Climbers, he realized. These people are not dead weight. And putting my life on the line for them is not a stupid risk. It's a need. I need to keep them alive, and I need to get stronger. Being a tank is a risk. Not just here, but up there too. If I run away now, I will always run away. I’ll always think it's just too risky. That my dad is more important. That staying safe is more important. And if I do that… If I do that…

A lump formed in his throat.

Then, I’ll really be a failure.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall.

Enough running. I need to fight. If I’m not risking death with every fight, then I’ll never be a Named Few. I’ll just be a coward. A weakling. And I’ll never be able to do anything, much less save my dad.

Gad was right. He had wanted a path that allowed him to be both tank and DPS. A path that would one day let him stand on his own, and apart from all others, as a Named Few. Real might. Real power. The kind that would allow him to do anything. Anything!

“Enough is enough,” Nar muttered. “No more running.”

“Yes. Enough is enough.”

“Tuk!” Nar gasped. “Crystal, man. You’re awake?”

“I’m alive, man,” he said. “You better get good at stopping those things. I’ve never had such fucked up nightmares in my whole life.”

Nar nodded. “I will. I really will. I’m sorry.”

“Ah, I was messing…”

His eyes rolled up and his eyelids slid down.

“Ugh! No!” he grunted. He bit his jaw and forced his eyes wide open. “No more sleep damn it. Sick of that shit.”

Nar squeezed his shoulder.

“You hang in there, man. I’ll call someone over. Cen! Cen! Tuk’s awake!”

“Yeah, get Cen here,” Tuk said. “I need her.”

“Is he awake?” Cen asked.

She and Mul rushed over.

“I’m awake…” Tuk muttered.

“Oh, thank the Crystal!” Cen said, kneeling next to him. “It’s been three-ah!”

Quick as a guardian, Tuk had reached out and grabbed her wrist.

“Cen, I need to ask you something,” he said, suddenly breathing hard. “I need to… I thought about it, and I think I really need to do it. I… You…”

“What the fuck are you doing to my sister!” Mul yelled.

Cen worked her mouth furiously, but it only made empty sounds.

“Cen, I need to ask you… Can you teach me how to use my [Aura]?”

Silence.

“I think he’s still asleep,” Mul finally said.

He leaned down to touch his forehead but the trugger let go of Cen and swatted him away.

“I’m serious! I’ve thought about it! How much [Aura] do you have now, Cen?”

“I-I have 29 points.”

“Well, I have 21.”

Cen gasped. “By the Crystal! You have what?”

Tuk chuckled without humor.

“Surprise,” he said. “I also have it. I’ve always had it. It’s my highest stat. My highest and most useless stat. Just like me. I’m the worst in the party.”

Nar gaped at the trugger.

You also have [Aura]? And from the very start? But then… You’re just like me!

“Don’t say that,” Cen said, still looking shocked.

“No, Cen. It’s the truth. My rings don’t do shit! And my [Aura] just keeps growing and growing. I can’t afford to ignore it anymore. There has to be a way to use it! Cen, you are so strong. If you could teach me… I was an operator too, damn it! Maybe I can put it in my rings. Or cover them in [Aura], like magic,” he said. “I don’t know. But enough is enough. I’m sick of it. I want to be useful, not hide behind you!”

Silence lay heavy over them.

Use it like magic?

The prospect of it terrified Nar.

“Is-Is that even possible?” Mul asked Cen.

“I-I don’t know!” Cen whispered.

“We won’t know until we try,” Tuk said, smiling.

“But, man,” Mul said. “Even if it’s possible, you will be risking your chances at magic later. And your first modifier! And-and, the attributes you would’ve…”

“I don’t care about that, man. It's a problem for ex-Climber me,” Tuk said. “I left home so I could see the Nexus. So I could live, and taste and experience all that’s out there… And so that I could make my own future, outside of that box and those quotas.”

“Even so… Your path,” Nar whispered.

“I’ll make my own path,” Tuk said. “Through my own actions and decisions. Not by running away and doing nothing. Cen, please, I don’t know if it's possible or not, but will you help me? To the best you can?”

Her eyes shone in the dark, and Tuk reached for her shoulder.

“Please? I need this.”

They stared at each other.

Nar wanted to shake him.

What are you doing?

He was throwing everything away! He could fill his rigs with fire, or ice, or lightning, or light or anything! Anything! Why [Aura]? Why choose that dead-end?

He lifted his hand to touch him. To stop him…

Enough is enough.

His outstretched hand hovered in the air, inches away from the trugger’s arm.

Actions and decisions.

Was he not the same? Facing the reality of what he couldn’t do and changing towards what he could do?

His overblown [Aura] peeked at him from the pile, but it wasn’t a piece he was ready to pull out just yet. Not until he understood fully what was about to happen. Not until he knew with certainty that aura, like aether, could be used just as well, like Tuk seemed to believe it could.

“O-Okay. I’ll try, Tuk,” Cen told him, placing a hand over his.

“Yes!” Tuk grinned.

“There’s no guarantee I’ll be able to teach you!”

“Or that you can even do it,” Mul said. He shook his head. “You're a crazy man, and all of this sounds insane.”

Tuk laughed. “Always have been, man. Always will be!”

Nar retracted his hand.

Tuk was right. They were there, and now, getting their asses kicked by those guardians. He had almost died. And He could still die. Things would only get harder and harsher the higher they Climbed.

Tanking first, then DPS. I’m gonna sort them out. And then… Then I'll see.

It all depended on whether Tuk could learn to use aura or not. If he couldn’t, no use worrying in vain. If he managed to learn it and become as strong as Cen had, and if they found a way to not make it hurt and feel so disgusting inside him, then… Then that would be another story, and a whole new set of questions.

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Why was the system forcing points into his, Cen’s and Tuk’s [Aura]?

What was he going to do about it, if there even was anything he could do?

And, more importantly, when the time came, would he even have a choice in the matter, between using it, or not?

He leaned back against the wall, while the other three carried on.

He had left his cubeplant expecting a tough, but straightforward Climb. And oh, how wrong he had been.

********

Bolts whistled at him from the darkness.

Their number was unknown, their trajectories too quick to understand and plan. All he could do was react.

His shoulder protested the sudden burst of energy, and the sword cut empty space.

Nar stood still. His eyes followed up along the blade and past it, to where the yellow lights ended, and from where his imaginary enemy attacked from.

The sword spasmed. Even after another night’s rest, the damage to his shoulder and surrounding area was still yet to completely heal.

Still, he held his position, and kept his eyes on the pitch-black square that abruptly ended the corridor behind the party.

Attacking from within that darkness, Nar could not see where the guardian aimed.

He could not see it move or fire. And however the guardian was doing it, he couldn’t even hear it shooting the bolts. He could catch the sound they made as they approached him, quietly whistling through the warm, dead air. But by then it would be too late, the bolts would be right on top of him.

A bead of sweat dropped from under his arm, and slid down his side.

How am I supposed to stop these things?

Even though he believed he had the speed to move that fast, he didn’t have the mental capacity to react at that same speed.

He twisted his blade and brought it back to him, covering his face.

I can’t see it and I can’t hear it.

He stepped forward, casting a wide slash from side to side of the corridor. He stepped again and brought down his sword, twisted his wrist and snapped his elbow, thrusting his sword up in a long cut. His shoulder groaned at the movement, but he committed to it.

That only leaves one thing. [Instinct].

Another step, and he turned the sword and brought it back down again. He made the sword zig-zag, forcing his wrist to bend and twist the weapon in his hand to realize the complicated pattern in his head.

“Ouch!”

Something gave in his wrist and he dropped the sword.

“Damn it!”

His shoulder flared with white hot pain and he sucked in his breath.

He had woken that morning to find that his HP had climbed up to 74, and to his relief, his stamina had also recovered to 59 points. That had meant he was out of emergency recovery, and both his HP and stamina would now recover as normal. However, he was not fully healed yet.

He brought his wrist against his chest and slowly rotated his shoulder. He grimaced, but kept the movement going, hoping it would do something to alleviate his discomfort.

Another few days maybe… he thought. He wasn’t worried about his shoulder. He had been stabbed before, and not even a scar remained from that incident. So he had no doubts that he would make a full recovery. However, the wait was frustrating.

Following his conversation with Gad, he had decided to give this new path a chance. His injured shoulder only served to delay his practice, and compound his annoyance. He had been at it for hours, and still didn’t really know what he was supposed to be doing, or how he was going to get better.

He bent down and picked up his sword with his left hand. Already, he could feel the pain on his wrist fading to a dull ache.

He raised his wrist to his eyes, and bent and twisted it carefully.

Guess this kind of thing fixes itself fast.

“You okay there?”

Nar looked behind him.

“Tuk? Shouldn’t you be resting?”

“Bah! I’ve had enough of that,” the trugger said.

He stepped towards him, using his good arm to lean against the wall.

“Besides, I’ve been watching you. What in the pile are you doing?”

Nar looked at his sword. “Uhh… Trying to catch some bolts, I guess? That’s probably the short answer.”

“And the long one?”

Nar thought about it for a moment, debating whether or not to tell the ring tosser. In the end, it was the memory of Gad’s angry words that made him decide to do it.

Besides, having decided that he needed to give his all to the party from now on, he should probably be more open. And talk more.

“I’m rethinking my whole approach to tanking,” he said. “I have no shield and not enough [Constitution] to just swallow damage. On the other hand, I have loads of points in senses and movement attributes, and a sword with a long reach… So, hmmm.”

Tuk scratched his chin, while Nar hesitated, considering how best to explain it.

“So… Go to the damage, instead of waiting for it?” Tuk asked.

Nar’s eyebrows shot up.

“Yes, that’s basically it… Damn it. Is it that obvious for everyone else?”

“Always easier looking in than out, my mom says.”

“Uh.”

Nar practiced a few more steps and moves, and Tuk watched him intently. It didn’t help.

“I don’t think that’s going to work,” Tuk said.

Nar slashed down with both hands, clenching his jaw against the pain. “Oh, yeah? How come?”

“Not sure if anyone has ever gotten stronger fighting empty air.”

Damn. I’m doing my best here, man…

“Not to say that what you’re doing is a bad idea, though. You just need real targets,” Tuk said.

“Kinda risky messing about with a live guardian, don’t you think?”

“That’s the only way to get stronger,” Tuk said. “But no, I meant something a bit less deadly than that.”

Nar looked around, confused.

“I meant me,” Tuk said. “I can help you. I can toss my rings at you and you do your thing. I’m pretty sure I’m faster than those poisoners anyways.”

Nar rested the sword on the floor and leaned on it.

“What, no good?” Tuk asked him.

“No. No. I actually think it's a good idea,” Nar said. “Really good, actually. Would… Would you mind?”

“Not at all.”

“And you won’t kill me?”

“Hmm. Not sure about that one. Up to you, if you're willing to take the risk.”

Nar tried to read the emotion on Tuk’s face.

What’s with everyone trying to push me over the edge all of a sudden?

Unbidden, Gad’s words lit up his mind again.

…and, most importantly, a party willing to do anything to support you.

Nar took a deep breath.

“I’ll do it, if you’re up for it?” he asked the ring tosser.

“That’s the spirit, man!” Tuk said, coming away from the wall he had been leaning on. “Now, shoo! Shoo!”

“What?”

“You’re too close. Get back,” Tuk said.

“Oh, we’re doing it now?”

“Why not? Aren’t you practicing?”

“But you’re still hurt!”

Tuk smiled. His skin was pale and clammy, and he couldn’t even stand tall, but his eyes shone with mirth.

“So are you,” Tuk said. “Don’t worry. I’m only using one ring. That’s easy enough for me, and I doubt you’ll be able to get it anyways.”

“That’s... fair.”

Nar took a few steps away from Tuk. “Here’s okay?”

“We can start like that,” he said, with a nod. “And then, depending on how it goes, we can do closer or farther.”

He pulled one ring from his inventory and showed it to Nar.

“I’ll go as slow as I can, and I’ll just aim at your feet for now. Uh… Be careful though, I might hit something else by mistake.”

“What do you…”

[Instinct] screamed at him and Nar jumped back. A fast glint dashed where his leg had just been, then it curved back to Tuk.

“No dodging!” he shouted.

“I wasn’t ready!” Nar protested, taking a stance again.

“Is anyone ever? Here!”

This time Nar was ready for it.

He saw Tuk flick the small ring at him this time. He knew where it was heading, and he traced its graceful glide through the air.

He swung at the incoming projectile.

A line of red-hot fire burned across his ankle.

“Gah!”

“Ooops!” Tuk said. He received the ring and flung it back at him.

“Ow!” Nar shouted as he was cut again. “You need to give me time!”

Tuk paused. “Uh. Do I?”

Nar blew a long, exasperated sigh.

“No. You’re doing great. It’s exactly what I need. The problem is me. I’m thinking too much. Come on, do it again!”

“Alright. Here it goes!”

Nar focused as the projectile left Tuk’s hands again. He followed it with his eyes, as it dashed towards him, glimmering with a faint yellow trail. He moved, shifting his sword to the left to intercept the ring. Another line of red scored his leg, just above his ankle.

“I’m sorry!” Tuk said. “Maybe this was a bad idea after all.”

“No, it’s not!” Nar shouted, before Tuk could withdraw his offer. “I just… I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”

Tuk smiled at him. “It’s alright, we’ll try again. For now, I think I need to sit down.”

And having said so, he collapsed against the wall.

“Tuk!”

Nar ran towards him and got there on time to stop him from falling down.

“I’m so sorry! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It hit me out of nowhere,” Tuk said, grimacing. “That poison’s really something.”

“Come on, I’ll help you get back.”

Nar hooked his good arm under Tuk’s, and gently lifted both of them. Together, they hobbled away from the semi-darkness at the edge of the yellow lights, and back into the bright center of the path where the rest of the party had taken residence to recover.

“What happened?”

Cen stomped towards them.

“I was just stretching my legs a bit…” Tuk said, looking away from her.

“And you?”

“Uh? Me-Me? Just doing a bit of practicing…” Nar said.

Cen covered her face and tapped her foot. “Let me guess, he decided to help you! Even though I told him he needs to rest!”

“I need to move!” Tuk said. “Everything’s still numb from that damn poison. Besides, I only hit Nar three times.”

“You what?”

Tuk looked pointedly at Nar.

“It’s no big deal,” Nar said, taking the cue. “I needed something to practice with. And he went easy on me. Aimed at my legs…”

Cen twisted her mouth in displeasure. “I can see that. There’s blood running down your ankles!”

“I just need to get better!”

“Yes! Once you’re healed! Your shoulder is not fixed yet!” she said, throwing her hands in the air. “Now go sit down! The both of you!”

“Can you teach me about [Aura]?” Tuk asked, his eyes sparkling.

“No! Rest! Now!”

With heads hung low, they walked the rest of the way to where the party recovered.

Nar’s cheeks burned something fierce, and Mul’s quiet chuckle made it all the worse. He felt like he had stuck his face in that Pressure wall again. But he felt like he was maybe on the right track to something… If Tuk didn’t slice him to ribbons first.

********

“Guardians!”

“Coming!”

The shouts startled him awake, and he sat upright. Brain fog and blurry eyes clouded everything, and all he saw was a shape run past him.

“Stay where you are!” Gad shouted at him. “We got this!”

“What…”

Something massive emerged from the shadows, sauntering towards them leisurely. At the same time, he heard the sound that had become imprinted in his mind. Bolts flew above his head.

“Holy Crystal!” he shouted, coming fully awake.

“What’s happening?” Tuk asked, in a groggy voice.

“Guardians!”

“What?”

A bright light flooded the corridor, forcing the darkness back.

Nar covered his eyes and tried to pierce through the brilliant gray light, but it only grew brighter, forcing him to look away.

“I’m ready!” Cen shouted.

“Do it!”

The light dashed forward. A second later, an explosion reverberated back at them, pushing a wall of displaced hot air into his eyes.

“Good! Now the big guy!”

Nar’s brain struggled to keep up with what was happening. The sheer, raw power that Cen had just casually displayed left him stunned.

“Crystal. She killed that poison thing,” Tuk mumbled. “Just like that.”

Just like that? With just one skill? Nar thought, looking away from the caster, who was charging her skill again.

Beyond the blinding light, Gad kept the big guardian, the Soldier Guardian 2, occupied and aggroed. Jul stood a few steps away from the two of them. She had her back to them, but Nar could just picture it frowning in concentration, sensing out for danger.

“They’re amazing,” Nar whispered.

“The best,” Tuk said. “And that [Aura Projectile]? Crystal, man! I really hope I can use my [Aura] like that.”

Nar didn’t reply but that was only because he was afraid to verbalize his thoughts.

It’s so… Strong. I just don’t understand how that’s possible.

How could something used to power the machines at the cubeplant, also be used with such devastation in combat? How could something meant to curse and torture them be so powerful?

And me, with my 42 points…

He shook his head, pushing the thought away, before he could think of the possibilities. Before he could be tempted by them…

“Ready!” Cen shouted again.

“Okay!” Gad shouted back.

She shifted her feet and shrunk her body behind the shield.

“Now!”

Cen shot her [Aura Projectile] at the guardian.

Nar gasped. Gad was too close. She was going to get hurt!

The projectile smashed into the guardian, in an explosion that enveloped it and pushed it back. The blend of smoke and light was focused forward, and only a bit bled back to Gad.

The tank took it on her shield, and still hiding behind it, she stepped back from the guardian.

“Do it!”

With the tank out of the way, Cen raised her staff once more, and without giving the guardian a chance to recover, blasted it with a series of quick projectiles.

Nar’s face flashed with the projectiles and explosions, his mouth dropped in a silent “o”.

The teamwork. The coordination. The perfect execution of their roles. And the power at Cen’s disposal… It was a sight to behold.

The guardian growled a hollow, desperate sound, but Cen didn’t let up.

A few seconds later, it was over. The guardian exploded in great chunks of flying circuitry, armor plates, tubes and other unknown parts. Limbs were blasted clear of its body, ripped apart and blown to pieces. The same limbs that had nearly killed him, now seemed so frail before Cen’s fury.

Cen didn’t let up until Gad raised a hand.

Nar’s heart thundered in his chest, even though he hadn't done anything. He looked from one, to the next, while the three of them waited in a tense silence to see if the fight was over.

“I got the notification!” Cen said.

“I got it too,” Jul added.

Gad lowered her shield and beamed at the two of them.

“Well done!” Gad said. “That was the smoothest one so far.”

“It was all your coordination,” Cen said, twirling her staff in her hands awkwardly.

Gad shook her head. “It was all you, Cen, I just kept it in place. And you too, Jul! You’re sensing them from farther and farther out! I don’t know what we would do without you.”

Jul adjusted her shirt with all four hands at once and looked away, stepping from foot to foot.

“We need to get our shit together,” Tuk whispered. “We’re being useless here.”

Nar could only nod with gritted teeth.

He knew he was still recovering but, damn it, he hadn't even thought to pull out his sword and cover their rear. He had blanked. He had sat there, like the dead weight he was.

With a frown, he pushed away the experience gains without looking at them. He hadn’t deserved a single point of experience from that fight.

Just a few days ago, he had wanted Cen to use her [Aura] to make their Climb easier. Now, faced with that very reality, he couldn’t help but worry whether or not he was even still needed. Between the three of them, they had handled it perfectly.

“Seriously man,” Tuk said. “The three of us need to get our shit together.”

The three? Nar asked, still reeling from that fight.

That’s when he noticed Mul, standing to the side, next to his sister, with his arms crossed.

Nar had been so focused on Gad, Jul and Cen, that he had completely missed him.

Mul was staring at the three victorious Climbers, as they came together to discuss their fight.

Nar sighed and leaned back against the wall.

I need to do better. I need to earn my place here.

He had seen the error of his ways, and he was already working to fix them. However, Gad, Jul and Cen had ignited a fire in him.

He was going to show everyone what he could do.

And himself.