Hello Myself my name is Nut man, nice to meet you. I’m not going crazy you are!
“Nut man wake up.” as I was talking to myself in my head as any sane person would, my magic talking hat spoke to me, and before you say I’m insane, this kind of thing is common in this day and age.
“The 7 earths to Nut man, can you hear me?” asked my hat.
“Yes, I can hear you. You don’t have to shout!” I said rather loudly, which made everyone on the street I was on give me a nasty look.
“I didn’t shout though.” I could hear him whispering under his breath, if he can breathe for that matter. “And more importantly did you forget we’re on the streets begging for money, because you can’t get a job. You can’t shout like that!” he ranted.
“Yeah, yeah. You don’t have to remind me that we’re poor and can’t get a job, Lil’ Nutty.” I said, and I put a little bit of a mocking tone with saying his name.
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“I still don’t agree with the name you gave me, Nuttingham.” He also put a mocking tone while saying my name.
“Ay, I told you that I don’t want you to utter that name my good for nothing unloving parents gave to me!”
“NUT-ING-HAM.” HE SAID IT AGAIN, THAT SON OF A GUN WENT AND SAID IT AGAIN!
“YOU WANNA GO THEN LET’S GO!” Then I proceeded to punch something that is on my head, while everyone on the street was giving me the stink eye, But I simply did not care because my main goal was to BEAT THIS GUY/HAT TO A BLOODY PULP, but it went as well as all my other attempts to fight him. He is a hat so he feels no pain, and he is somehow stuck to my head by something I don’t know, and am too lazy to try and find, so he can’t get off of my head even if he wanted to so the end result is, I try to hit him but I end up hitting myself in the head. While he takes no damage.
“well you still can’t hit me Nuttingham.” Lil’ Nutty says.
“Can you shut your trap, while I try to beat you to a pulp.” I say monotonously.
“HEY NUT MAN!” he says alarmingly loudly.
“I am not listening la la la la.”
“LOOK IN FRONT OF YOU-.” He tries to say something but I tune him out when I look at the 40 foot worm with its mouth wide open Infront of me ready to eat us. And the next thing I know I am devoured by that same 40-foot worm.