“Where are we, and why did we come here?” Ashera asked, looking around.

Shade glared over to her. “I know why I came here, why you followed me I have no idea.”

“I can’t let you out of my sight. Can’t have you disappearing for another decade.” She responded.

He let out a sarcastic laugh. “If I wanted to get away from you, there’s not a single chance you would be able to follow or find me.”

The two of them were standing outside a tall stone archway that was in front of a long, seemingly never-ending set of stone stairs carved into a mountain. “Fine, but did we really have to walk here? And are we really going to walk up all those stairs when we could fly just as easily?”

He shrugged. “You can do whatever you want. Did you already forget? You’re not a slave anymore, no need to follow some master.”

She huffed. “You would make a terrible therapist.”

“Isn’t talking about and confronting your traumas part of therapy?” he countered.

She shook her head and sighed. “Lets just get going. I don’t want to admit it, but I am somewhat curious of what you so badly wanted to find here.”

“Not what, who.” He replied. The two of them then set off up the stairs, it took them around 20 minutes of climbing to reach the top, with Ashera moaning, groaning and mumbling to herself the whole time. Finally, they reached the top, and Shades face drooped as he took in the sights. “What the fuck is all of this.”

In front of him was a massive plateau made out of stone that had been carved into the mountain. In the middle of the plateau was a large stone statue, at least 20 feet tall, of a woman seemingly flowing like water. Around the statue were 50 plus people of various species, all dressed in brown monk like robes. They were all on their hands and knees, head to the floor, praying to the statue.

“I didn’t take you for a religious man.” Ashera said, taking in the scene.

“I’m not.” He then paused. “I wasn’t at least…I’m here to find out if I am you could say.” He then sneered, vaguely gesturing at the praying monks. “ Last time I was here though, none of this shit was.” He then looked around the plateau and carved into the wall of the mountain at the back were two large stone doors. He pointed to them. “That’s where we’re going.” He then started walking towards the doors hoping none of the congregation noticed them. He wasn’t so lucky. As they were about halfway to the door, one of the praying members lifted their head up for a moment and looked over to Shade. Well, actually, Ashera. The man got up from his position and jogged over to the pair. Shade sneered. “You’ve got to learn to hide your fucking echos better.”

“I didn’t know we were hiding from them.” She responded.

He threw his hands up. “Why wouldn’t we be hiding from them! Who likes talking to crazy religious people! Nobody likes talking to crazy religious people! Even if you’re religious, you don’t like talking to these people!”

The monk like man made it over to the pair surprisingly fast for someone running in full robes. He was an elf, probably middle aged, with no hair, all of it having seemingly been perfectly shaven off, just like the rest of the praying congregation. “May I help you?” He asked in that normal soft religious tone of a pious man.

“Yea, no.” Shade responded. “I’m just heading over to those doors, don’t mind me.”

“I apologize sir, you cannot go in there.” The man said with a half bow.

“Why not?” He asked, irritation already growing.

“You need a reservation, and my memory of our records show no appointments today.” The monk responded.

“A reservation?” Shade replied. “What is this, a fucking restaurant?”

The monk maintained his emotionless face and tone, all while Shade slowly got worked up more and more. “Well sir, we don’t normally sell food, but we do have food. I would be glad to share some with a fledgling member.”

“Was that a joke? The monks a jokester, is he!” Shade yelled, anger beginning to boil over. He took a deep breath calming himself down, then sighed. “Look man, monk, whatever. I’m the one who found this place, who first opened those doors. I’m not sure how you or any of these other crazy people came to be here, but I’m going back through those doors that I broke into decades ago. And I’m pretty positive none of you can stop me.”

He went to take a step, but the monk stepped in front of his path. “I cannot allow you to do that.” The monk said, showing no signs of fear. Shade sighed louder and looked around as he considered what to do. He hated religious people for many, many reasons. But the one thing he did respect about them was their devotion to their cause, righteous or not. He was currently in his dragon form, and after the man had noticed him, had begun releasing his echos trying to intimidate him into leaving them alone. But the man didn’t waver an inch. His old self, well the jaded and broken old self, would have thrown this man across the plateau, maybe even killed him. But he was trying to be a better person. Sure, he had just killed scores of people in a hunter base, but those people were bad. Killing bad people was fine, right? Maybe that was the next thing he needed to work on. Either way, this monk wasn’t bad, probably. Some religious people did bad things in the name of ‘righteousness’, but he shouldn’t just assume this man was one of those people.

While Shade was mumbling to himself, considering what to do, the large stone doors creaked open, and a divine female voice rang out. “It is ok, he may enter.” The voice said, as a blindingly bright white light shone from the entrance of the doors, making it impossible to look in.

“My goddess!” The monk gasped, falling to his knees, head bowed to the floor as he faced the door.

“You hear that.” Shade said looking down at the monk. “Guess reservations aren’t needed, huh.”

“Shade.” The divine voice said. “I’ve been expecting you, please come inside. We have a lot to discuss.”

Shade looked up from the kowtowing monk over to the blindingly bright entranceway. He sighed and whispered to himself. “Yea, that’s what I was worried about.” He made his way across the rest of the plateau with Ashera close behind. The two got to the doorway, light so bright they both had to look at the ground as the passed into the room beyond. As soon as they both entered, the stone doors slammed shut behind them and the blinding light faded away.

“What is this feeling?” Ashera said nervously, as she began to shake and panic.

“This is what it feels like to be in the presence of a god.” Shade responded. “Well, a supposed god. Alleged god. Probably self-proclaimed god.”

“You haven’t changed one bit.” The divine voice said, now with a hint of seductiveness in it. Appearing out of nowhere in front of the pair was a beautiful looking woman made completely out of water. She was floating above the ground and wore no clothes, though that didn’t really matter as while she was shaped like a woman, she didn’t actually have the parts the clothes would cover, as she was made out of water.

Ashera gasped at her appearance while Shade shrugged and looked around the room. It looked like a standard dungeon from any castle’s basement. “I like what you’ve done with the place. Last time I was here this all looked like a drab and dark, empty dungeon. Now it’s a drab and light dungeon with a couple of chairs strewn about.”

She giggled. “Always the jokester, no matter the situation. That’s why I like you so much.” The goddess then looked over to the still shaking Ashera who was hiding behind Shade like a scared child. “You going to introduce me to the scared little puppy behind you?”

Shade peered behind him and saw just how nervous Ashera was. Most people would reassure the person who was terrified behind them, but Shade though wasn’t most people. He began to laugh hysterically. “Look at you, shaking like a scared cat. Where’d the tough girl from the hunter base go?” Ashera glared at Shade angrily while Shade nearly crumpled to the ground from his cackling, but she still couldn’t stop shaking. After about a minute, Shade gathered himself and pointed at the Goddess. “Ashera, this is Colandria. Alleged goddess of life.

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Asheras shaking slowly died down as her eyes slowly widened. Colandria put on a soft smile as she looked at Ashera. “Its nice to meet you Ashera, there’s no need to be afraid, I wo…”

“Well, there are a few reasons to be afraid.” Shade said, cutting her off. Ashera looked over to Shade with horror plastered on her face. He had just cut off an actual god. Colandria though looked rather amused.

“Oh, and why’s that?” She asked.

“I mean, come on.” He replied. “You know as well as I know why she was shaking. The amount of echos in here is oppressive. It feels like I’m drowning underneath an ocean. We all know your strong, this just feels like over kill. Are you compensating for something?”

She shook her head with the same soft smile. “Unfortunately, I have so much power, I struggle to contain it all.”

“Well, that’s quite the humble brag isn’t it.” He replied.

She giggled again, then pointed over to the two the chairs that were strewn about the room. The chairs were completely out of place within the room, red velvet chairs like would be seen in a luxury hotel. “Shall we get down to business. I haven’t seen you in almost a hundred years, I’m sure you didn’t come here just to have idle chat. Though I wish you did, not many people are willing to speak to me so casually.”

“I would place a large bet on the reason being the whole, drowning in echos thing.” But then he nodded, and walked over to the two chairs, Ashera following suit. He took a seat, Ashera taking the other, and continued to look around.

“Is something the matter?” Colandria asked, having floated over to the chairs, floating in a spot that made the 3 form a triangle of sorts.

“It’s just, you could at least have a throw carpet to go with these chairs. Maybe a table? There just two chairs in the middle of an empty stone room.”

“There usually not even here.” She responded. “I brought them out when I felt you coming.”

“Brought them out of where?” Shade said exaggeratedly looking around the room. “Its not like there’s a closet.”

She smiled again, but her smile had a more somber and seriousness about it. “Are you trying to stall from asking what you wanted to ask by coming here?”

He stopped looking about the room, she was right, he was stalling. He looked at her and took on his own somber and serious face. “I don’t like the fact that you seem to know why I’m here, what I’m going to ask. Because what I’m going to ask is about why I’m here and how you seem to know. Does that make sense?”

“To someone who doesn’t know, it probably doesn’t. But since I do, it does. I’m sure you have many questions. Where would you like to begin?”

He thought about it for a moment, then without moving his head, peered his eyes over to Ashera, who was sitting quietly in the other chair staring at the ground, seemingly trying to be invisible.

“You wish to start with her?” Colandria asked, somewhat surprised. “You wish to know if she is yours?”

Ashera perked up at the conversation and looked at Colandria, then to Shade quizzically.

“I do.” He said. “Is that something you could tell me?”

“Of course.” She replied. “I am the goddess of life after all. Though would you believe me? I seem to recall you saying I’m just an alleged god. Self-proclaimed.”

“I don’t entirely believe in the gods still." He said. "But even I can’t deny the strange coincidences that have been happening, your odd amount of power or the fact you seem to know things that you shouldn’t. I’m not sure if I will truly believe everything you tell me, but you’re my best chance at getting answers. I do know that.”

“Fair enough.” She responded. “And yes, she is yours.”

Shade nodded, not showing any emotion as that was the answer he was expecting. Ashera on the other hand reacted quite differently. “What?” She said. “What!” She then repeated, getting louder. “What do you mean I’m his?”

Colandria looked over to her with that same somber, almost apologetic smile. “He is your father.”

“What!” She yelled, jumping to her feet. All the fear and nervousness drained out of her in an instant. Anger poured through her veins as her whole world went red. “It was you! You’re the one who raped my mother! Who caused her to kill herself! It was you!” She had stormed over to Shade and was right in his face, but he didn’t say or do anything. He just looked at her, accepting her words and anger. “How could you do it! How could you do something so hideous!”

He didn't answer immediately while he looked at the shakingly angry girl in front of him, his daughter. The living embodiment of the horrible things he once did. The horrible things he regretted now, and had been running from for years. But it wasn’t that he was just running from his regrets, he was running from how he felt about them. How little he actually felt bad about them. And even staring at the ball of fury yelling at him, the living proof of his evils, he couldn’t find it within himself to feel wrong about any of it. And that might be what frustrated him the most. He clenched his fists as he opened his mouth to respond to her. “I wasn’t always this way you know. I wasn't always the big bad black devil. At least, I don’t think I was. I would like to think at some point I really was a good person. A good person out there trying to help people, better the world. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know when I became…. this. You want to know how I could do something like that? Because I didn’t think it was wrong. I thought, and still do, doing bad things to bad people is ok. And I convinced myself that she, and others were bad, evil. That I could do whatever to them and it would be fine. That they deserved it. I know now that’s not true. I look back now and regret a lot of what I’ve done. But….” He paused, clenching his fists tighter. “I don’t feel bad about them. I regret them, the things I did, but I don’t feel bad about it. I don’t know why. I know I should, I know I should feel disgusted with myself, but I just…don’t. It’s like…I’m broken.”

Asheras rage increased ten-fold at his answer, and she grabbed onto him via the shirt and began to violently shake him, with him not fighting back. “What kind of bullshit is that! You want me to feel sorry for you? To throw you a pity party? You fucking raped people! You raped my mother! She fucking killed herself! And you’re here trying to play the victim? You want people to feel bad for you?”

Shade just sat there and took it. “I’m not sure what you want me to say. I doubt a sorry would mean anything, and deep down I wouldn’t even mean it myself. While I do regret doing the things I did, and if I could go back, I would stop myself from doing them, but I don’t actually feel sorry. I don’t know how to explain it, it’s like my heart knows it was wrong, but my mind doesn’t give a shit.”

Ashera growled as she let go of him. “You don’t get to play depressed! You don’t get to play victim! You regret what you did? Your heart knows it was wrong? Wonderful! Tell that to my dead fucking mother!" Then a ball of crackling light formed in her hand. "I should kill you right now! Tell me one reason why I shouldn’t!”

“Unfortunately.” Colandria cut in, with the ball of light in Asheras hand disappearing. “I cannot allow you to kill him, not yet at least. I still have some use for him.”

Ashera growled louder as she angrily turned to face the goddess she had just been shaking in fear from. “You’re going to defend him? You’re ok with what he’s done?”

“Of course not.” She replied in a soft tone. “His history is a heinous as anyone’s. But the world is currently in some trouble, and he is as strong as anybody in the world. I need his help putting out some fires, then you’re free to do what you want with him. I would say though that revenge always tastes sweeter before you’ve gotten it, then once you’ve gotten it, it tastes just as sour as you feel towards him right now.”

“Oh, how poetic!” Ashera sarcastically responded. “Everyone’s a therapist, including the ones who caused the trauma. If the worlds on fire, you’re an all-powerful goddess made of fucking water, just put it out.”

“I wish I could. I wish it was that simple.”

“And why isn’t it?” Ashera asked.

Colandria pointed back to Asheras seat. “Sit down, and we can discuss.”

Ashera glared back at the stoic yet somber Shade, then back to Colandria. She knew, even through her blinding rage, that Colandria wasn't going to let her do anything to Shade, and that she had absolutely no chance in a fight against her either. “Fine, but if I don’t like what I hear, I’m sending him to the hells, where he belongs.”

“I understand.” Colandria replied, as Ashera stomped back over to her chair, sat down, and glared daggers at Shade. Colandrias attention then turned back to Shade herself. “I’m sure your mind must be in a million places right now, but we should really continue. What else did you come here to ask me?”

Shade didn’t reply immediately, gathering himself and his thoughts. He himself had internally gotten worked up at his short berating from Ashera. He was mad, but not at her, at himself. She was right, he was playing the victim for being a terrible person. Yet he still couldn’t find it within himself to feel bad about anything he had done. It was like the ability to feel empathy, guilt, sorrow, real sorrow, for anyone but himself had been taken away from him. How much of a piece of shit had he become? His mind raced as he thought about how much he hated who he had become, yet that in itself felt selfish as that thought was about him and not the people he had killed or harmed.

It took a few minutes, but eventually he took a deep breath and pushed those thoughts to the side, at least for now. He knew with Ashera now in his life, for however long, he would be confronting those thoughts once again very soon. He looked up to Colandria who was still looking at him with that welcoming smile. A smile that didn’t make him feel any better. “How did you know I was going to be coming here?”

“Is that really the question you wish to ask?” She replied.

He paused and considered. He tilted his head back and forth a few times, then responded. “The first time I was here, the only time I was here, you spoke of fate. I thought it all nonsense. Yet within the last few months I’ve saved princesses that I just so happened to be in the area of. I’ve gone to towns that just so happened to have been overrun by monsters. I’ve even run into my daughter I didn’t know was still alive. The odds of all that happening naturally feels very, very small.”

“And you would like to know if it was fate?” Colandria responded.

“Yes.”

“I don’t think you’ll like the answer.” She warned.

“I don’t care.” He responded.